Oh shit! I got him today for almost a whole 2 minutes...but i had to get to work. Damn!

This sleep i'm about to have will be orgasmic. I have a few things to say, but i'll blog about them later. 'night bitches.

I dont want to end up alone but at the same time, im not gonna settle for anything less than best/whats good for me and what will make me happy in the long run

Once again torrey and i have called it quits after 1 week of togetherness. We are just on 2 different pages sexually. It sucks, but it is what it is.

Me and riche were talking about why a guy will never admit that he cheated on you even though you've been broken up forever. They still have hope of a reunion.

i am feeling so bad today. i don't know what i ate yesterday, but whatever it was had my body all jacked up.

in other news...me and torrey are back together. surprise surprise. you know, that's just me. that's just how i do what i do.

see...i don't even give it up and i still pull 'em in. ok, so a guy gets their foot in the door with me, they find out that i don't have sex, they stick around thinking that they'll be that one to change me and if not, they'll just move on. but what always happens? i get 'em! yeah, that love bug hits 'em strong and they don't know what to do. lol. they can't get enough of my jokes, my smile, my laugh...just me. so i'm starting to think...i can have perfectly healthy sexless relationships forever. i don't ever need to have sex to have a good relationship. of course that's not gonna happen cause i DO want to eventually do it, but i don't really have to be stressing myself out about it because there's always gonna be a guy who wants to be with me whether theres sex or not.

i mean with torrey, he could have chosen to stay broken up and gone off to be with someone else who he had at least some chance of sleeping with, knowing that he wouldn't be sleeping with me. but aaahhh...guess what?! ya girl got it locked down. ;) usually it's me who tells him that i want to work on it again after a few days or a week or two. but it's been a couple months now and he hadn't heard from me, so he actually contacted me first and said he wanted us to try it again. i really wasn't excited about trying it again at all. actually, i kinda refused at first, but then he asked that we at least try it and we did and so far it's going all right.

so now i'm feeling good today. it's 9-9-09 (oooooohhhh). i spent sunday and monday with torrey for the most part. i went to his place after i got off work sunday and slept over there then we just hung out for the rest of the day and then again the next day. it was good. it was nice.

ok. well gotta go. peace out.

ohhh...i finally bought Superbad on dvd today and i am sooooo excited about it.

and i forgot to talk about what happened to me the other week at my volunteer thing. i volunteer at the aids clinic right? so this guy (a regular) always hits on me and this dude was sitting there telling me about taking his meds and how he was finally starting to feel really good and this and that. well then he asked me if i had a man and that he would treat me really good and asked me if he could take me out. i'm just like...HELLO! not this time, but thank you though. i mean, this dude has AIDS and he wants to take me out. i'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. but asking a girl out means you want to eventually have some kind of intimate moment with that person and that ain't gonna work. so that was akward.

all right, ttyl.

jenny "apparantly someone has an exam" jenn jenn

so, i really love this picture of me and vickey and sam at the bowling alley a few months back. vickey has had it as her profile picture on myspace for a while. it was my profile pic for a minute. sam had it as hers for a minute.

anyway, here it is.

God forbid, but i think i'm gonna die in a car. Thats what i think.And i think that someone that i've been really close to is gonna die this year too if not me.

Ohh...i saw that dude dancing at 5 points but i had to get to work so i couldn't stop to record him. Damn! I'll get him next time though. He was hittin it too.

I'm gonna get a pedicure at some point this weekend. I've only had them a couple of times but i think i need/want one now. But other than that, life is good.

When i'm really tired like this, i just like to lie in bed with a guy and just fall asleep next to his big warm body. Guess i'll just go to bed alone this time.

Just ate a really awesome yellow apple, but i have no idea what kind it actually was. So big shout out to all those yellow apples out there...lol.

i love this pic by the way.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

just took a steaming hot shower. i'm feeling good and i'm heading to sleep.

it's gonna be another long ass week. but i need to make it do what it do.

i haven't called or texted torrey in days. i haven't seen him in days. i'm doing good.

-jenn jenn

damn. i've had this damn blog since i was 17 y'all! that's going on 8 years now. one day i'm gonna go back and read every single post i ever made. i've gone through a lot of changes. i've gone through jobs, cars, guys, houses, school, a lot of stuff man. i keep contemplating whether or not to get rid of this blog, but i don't have the nerve. there's just so much history in this thing. and i'd like to have a lot more history on here.

i want my marriage(s?), births, deaths, graduations, new jobs, new houses, new whatever on here. then towards the end of my life, i'll write an autobiography from it or something. or show it to my kids one day so they can see what i was going through at whatever point in my life.

ok, i gotta go take a nap. bye-bye.

-jenny

so, i was thinking....

life is sooo short. tomorrow is not promised for ANYBODY. you can be around one day all happy and healthy without a care in the world and be gone in an instant. so you really gotta do what makes you happy. you gotta go for what you like, what you love. you gotta tell the people that you love that you love them. if you want to be with someone, you need to tell them and try to get that going. if you want to be with someone, why are you wasting your time, your life doing anything besides trying to be with them? do you wait for that person to come around, but in the meantime have someone keeping your bed warm for you? i don't think so. use that extra energy that you're putting into sleeping with that random person and try to make something out of the relationship that you really want with "THE ONE", you know? because if you really want it, you can have it. you can work for it.

at the same time, life is too short for the bullshit too. you might want to be with someone or do something that makes you happy, but at what risk?

so what do you do?

*By the way, this isn't particularly about anyone, it's just a general thought i was having. I read waaaaay too many Sandra Brown and Danielle Steele books.*

-jennifer

I'm feeling really depressed again today and i have no idea why. Ok, gonna take a nap then do this biochem homework. TTYL.

I'm at work...eating chocolate cake...with buttercream! Why do people put buttercream on chocolate cake? It's too much!

heading in to work now. i slept about ten hours today and i'm still feeling tired. i don't know what's going on. i'm sooooo tired all the time now.

anyway, i'm feeling good though, besides the tiredness. good night.

-jenny

i am sooooo sleepy.

So i was sitting in orgo lab and all of a sudden, i almost choke on my lip ring. The ball in the front was mysteriously gone. IDK. Gotta go get a new one now.

lately, every single time i step on the scale, my weight just keeps going down and down. usually it goes down, then back up, then back down, then back up. but now it's going down and down and down and down.

i guess this is generally what happens when i have a breakup. i lost a lot of weight when me and lamar broke up one time (from where, i have no idea) and it looks like my body is trying to do the same thing. i think it's me and torrey's break up plus the fact that i just do not have time to eat on most days.

i have class five days a week, i work four days a week, and i volunteer three days a week. i am sooooo busy. on some nights, i only get 2.5 hours of sleep. on a good night, i can get 6 or 7 hours of sleep. but that's only like two nights a week.

i got mistaken for 15 years old the other week. the paramedics were at our house checking up on vickey and so i had to go pick up sam from the train station and when i got back they were like..."should you be driving? how old are you?" you should have seen the look i gave this woman. i stared at her for a while and then i said "i'm 24." she was like "ohhh! oh my god, i thought you were, like 15. i was gonna ask are you old enough to be driving." then she did this stupid laugh.

then today at the post office, the dude mistook me for 17. i laughed and said i was 24 and he had the same reaction as the other chick. and then another lady at the post office thought i was 16 and had the same reaction too. it does get really annoying when this happens, but i really can't be mad at it cause in about 10 years when all my peers and i are well into our 30s, i'll be all Demi Moore/Halle Berry on they asses. so i'll take it and love it.

i think that's part of the reason i like to get tattoos and piercings, to make me look older. but then i grew to love them, so....


ok! goodnight!

-jenn

so i think i'm getting better now. i was really missing torrey earlier this week, but now i think i'm good. i still miss him, but it's getting better. i miss going over to his place though and sleeping in with him on saturday and sunday mornings after i get off work.

i would get off work, go home to take a shower, then go over to his place and just get in the bed with him and snuggle up with him until i fell asleep. he would let me stay in bed and sleep while he got up after a while and did homework or whatever. i think i miss that the most right now.

but i'm about to get my own place (well, me and sam) and so i'm gonna whore it up now and have all kinds of dudes over. ok, probably not...but it's a possibility now.

ok, well i'm bout to make it do what it do. i'll holla at this blog later tonight when i'm done with classes. there's still a lot i want to talk about.

good night.

jenny "do you have any non-infant clothes" jenn jenn

*i'm starting to run out of Superbad quotes. oh shit! i hadn't seen it in months. I knows there's lots more. I gotta go ahead and buy the dvd and refresh myself. i'm so ashamed i've gone this long without seeing it.*

Looks like me and sam are gonna rent this 2 bed/2 bath house/duplex in mid sept. to oct 1st. Can you say housepar-tay?

I am so sad.

so the hardest part of a breakup for me is thinking about the new ex having sex with someone that's not me. i don't like the fact that a guy can tell me he loves me and only wants to be with me and then as soon as we break up, he's off sticking his weiner in some chickenhead. i just torrey has some kind of respect for me and waits a little bit. after me and lamar broke up, i was at his place a few weeks later and he had some body butter intended for some chick on his floor. it's like "damn dude! where's the grieving period?!"

and the second hardest part is thinking abou that person telling some new girl all the things he used to tell you. stuff like "i love you so much." stuff like that. and the two of them holding hands and going out and doing stuff together and laughing and just having fun. i can't handle that. cause in normal people, things like that lead to sex.

but i suppose life has to go on.

there are just waaay too many what ifs in my life.

they say when two people are in a sexless relationship and they break up...the guy goes and tries to push sex immediately on the very next girl he tries to be with. he rushes and really pursues the sex for what he was lacking previously.

i'm just sayin. i can't really blame a guy for going out and doing that after me. being with someone for years and not letting them hit it...that ain't right. i realize that it isn't right. but i just can't do it. i was reading this sandra brown book and they were saying how important sex is in a relationship. it shows physically how you emotionally feel about someone.

but this is precisely why i don't need to get into another serious long term relationship with a guy unless i know i'm ready for a sexual relationship. i mean, i'm going on 25 years old. i'm getting to old for this shit. so no more LTRs for me.

honestly though, i still think i need to go see a specialist about this. i'm pretty sure my insurance doesn't include psychotherapy though. but i really would like to go and talk to someone about it...soon. i recognize that i do in fact have a problem. what i'm doing (or not doing) is not normal and i need help.

so i'm bringing this all up cause i'm just sad right now. i was talking to torrey and he doesn't seem to be phased at all that we broke things off for good. he said he had given up weeks ago. ok, well that's fine. but then i got the feeling that he was already sleeping with someone else. and i couldn't be mad at that, that's his business. but it does make me sad and angry. he said he wasn't, but i'm kinda pissed right now. even if he's not at the moment, he will soon. he definitely won't have to wait two years with his next girlfriend to sleep with her.

i was watching something and this panel of guys were talking about how, unfortunately, sex plays a huge role in their relationships with girls. probably one of the most important things that a guy wants in a relationship and i can't offer.

i'm just scared that now, i have to start all over with a new guy to try to get comfortable enough with them to try it. shit, i may be well over 30 before i have sex. IF i ever have the guts to do it at all. i'm feeling really sorry for myself right now. i've been crying all morning about this. i just need to be happy and calm myself down.

i don't know man. i'm so sad. why can't i just be a normal person and have a normal sex life like every other 24 year old in a serious, long term relationship?

ok, i need to stop feeling sorry for myself and move on. i'm pretty torn up about this, so i'll probably be writing about it for a few days so if you're getting sick of it...OH WELL!!! this is my blog, shit, i don't give a fuck.

good night. i need to go take a nap. i'm in a shitty mood, my head is banging, my body aches, and i'm feeling really depressed right now. these pain pills are kicking in now and i'm getting really drowsy, so i'm gonna go to sleep.

later.

-jenny

i came to the very sad conclusion today...well yesterday...that me and torrey are really over. i'm just not into it anymore. and it kinda sucks cause he was the best boyfriend i ever had. it was just running thin towards the end. i talked to him briefly about it and we both agree that it's a wrap for good.

i'm going to bed now.

peace out.

jennifer

my boo is really gettin it in this video. it's near the middle of the video, so you gotta wait for it...but it's soooo worth it.



jenny "is this the bathroom? i gotta wash this merlot off my pants." jenn jenn

Its nice when you can fall asleep in someones arms and feel completely safe. Ive really been feeling sappy and love sick the past few days, but ill get over it.

i really wish i had someone to stroke my hair and kiss me till i fall asleep. i'm so needy. this is why i always run back to my exes. "i get lonely...i get lonely, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh."

ok, bed for real now. night night.

-jenny

i would really hook up this nintendo and start playing super mario brothers right now if i wasn't so sleepy. i'm going to bed...alone. aww.

good night blogger.

jenny "what the fuck!!!" jenn jenn

one of my friends just asked this question on facebook and i just had to answer it.

chaconia: has a ? 4 all 484 of my FB friends..wht are sure signs tht a guy is TRULY into yu b/c he genuinely cares & wnts to be && not just settling b/c he cnt have wht he really wnts???

me: when he makes plans way in the future and you're included in those plans.

Ex) when he says something like: "WE gotta do the Taste of Atlanta again next year."

when they say stuff like that...referencing the fact that you'll still be together in a year...they're really feeling you.

and that is so true. torrey always did that. he always made comments like that. whenever he referenced the future, i was in it. i can't say that my ex did that. he didn't really reference me in his future. i mean, we had talked about maybe getting married one day, but other than those few times we discussed that, he never really mentioned me in his future. i guess that's a good sign to look for. i think that if a guy references you in his future, that's it. it's a wrap. he's sprung, he's fallen, he's head over heels. torrey is the only person to do that with me. i'm just sayin...

jenny "i love my best friend evan" jenn jenn

my teeth have been hurting again. i just took one of these pills they prescribed me, so i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be in for a really vivid, weird dream tonight.

i totally forgot about this dream i had the other night. it was the most real dream i've ever had in my life. it was like i was watching a movie on tv. i was in a thrift store shopping for clothes and then my friend lawrence comes in with another friend of his. they start talking to me and then his friend pulls out a video camera and starts taking pictures of me. then he starts taking pictures of other girls in the store and then all of a sudden, we're like at a rest stop (like off a highway) and lawrence's friend is using the zoom function on the camera to take pics of girls in cars that are passing by on the highway. well the friend takes a pic of one girl and i guess the girl was a passenger in a car driven by her boyfriend cause the car stops and slows down and then backs up after the friend takes the pic. we all get scared and try to hide behind something when we see the car back up. then it cuts to like an arial view from a helicopter and its all grainy like a surveillance video camera and we see two dudes get out of the car and run out of the shot and then run back into their car...but two police cars with their sirens blaring come up and out with their guns drawn and arrest the two guys.

apparently the two guys went and put something underneath a car that was parked at the rest stop. so they didn't know what it was, so they call in this specialist or something to go in and see what it was. so the guy is looking under the car and feels something. he pulls it out and it's this huge flaming piece of material. once he pulls it out and sees what it was, his eyes get huge. like popping out of his head as he's holding it. and as soon as his eyes get all big, the burning thing he pulled from under the car suddenly flames up and his whole body just catches fire quickly. it spreads from the material to his hands and then all over his body. then the guy just crumples over all slowly and dies. it was so real. seeing the look on his face when his eyes got all big when he saw the firey material and then watching him slowly crumple over after he was all in flames. it was soooo real.

and then they come over and interview me and all i keep talking about his how the guy died and the look on his face when he did.

so weird.

and the dream i said i wasn't gonna talk about a few days ago. well since i'm on a role, i might as well. so i had taken this pain medicine for my teeth and fell asleep and this is the dream i had then:

i dreamt that i was sitting on a bench somewhere talking to a friend when crystal (yeah, the one i can't stand) comes and sits next to me. now, i don't want to have anything to do with her, so i just pretend like i don't even see her. well after me and my friend stop talking, crystal starts talking to me and tells me how my ex and her were messing around behind my back but how she thought he was such a loser now and that she was sorry that we didn't like each other because of him. it was sooo odd. so we were sitting around talking shit about him and ended up friends in the end. now mind you, i had just taken some powerful narcotics, so i was extremely out of it when i went to sleep.

i took another of those pills a little while ago and i am soooo looking forward to what dreams i'll be having tonight. hopefully a sexy one ;)

jenny "i'm gonna give you the best blow jay ever...with my mouth" jenn jenn

what i wouldn't do for a kiss right about now. and not just a kiss, but a good one.

-jennifer

i've gotten no sleep, but i've found that's how i work best. i was so bored when i got all the sleep i wanted those two weeks i was out of class. now i get zero sleep and i feel so fulfilled.

so, yeah. this semester is gonna be interesting. last one as an undergrad, first one being completely single...maybe.

since i got my wisdom teeth taken out, i've been losing some weight. hey, i can't be mad at that.

ok.

i thought i had something to say, but i forgot it. so bye bye.

oh wait. yeah. my brother tj made a video that he put up on his myspace. and since he's my brother, i need to show him some love and post his video. he's the one with the white head scarf on throughout it. he looks a lot like my brother josh...or he used to. here it is:



jenny "you have such a smooth...chest" jenn jenn

Damn! He was coming at ya girl all hard! Ok! Woooow!

You know how when its cold and you're lying in bed with your honey and you wake up in the middle of the night and snuggle up next to your him/her? I loove that.

I'm at work and my mouth hurts so bad. My jaw is still so swollen and i can barely open my mouth. I'm like bubba, I wanna go home. I need some TLC.

it's gonna be fun/interesting to see who's gonna tie me down...who i'm gonna end up with. what lucky bastard gets to wake up every morning with me next to him.

a while back, i was wanting to get an apartment with torrey, but he wasn't feeling it. guys don't like living with me, wassup with that? and when they do, they're bums about it and just freeload.

i want to get an apartment soon, but it's hard out there for a pimp. i don't know. i wouldn't live with a guy again anyway unless i'm gonna get married to him. my one and only experience with it was definitely an eye opener and i won't be doing that again.

i'm glad torrey decided not to actually. karma right?

i don't like having to worry about other people paying my bills anyway. i like to make sure my stuff gets paid on time and stays on, ya dig?

why am i still up? bye bye.

jenny jenn jenn

i got this dude's dance on lock by the way. it's so funny.

nuh uh. don't think ya girl forgot about her boo. here's another video of my boo, but this time, he actually took it to the underground. lookie:



jenny "you're gonna sing! and you're gonna sing good!" jenn jenn

so i was gonna talk about this dream i had yesterday. i changed my mind though. i'm gonna keep that one to myself.

on another note...i took quite a few pics of me and my new chipmunk face. i cannot wait for this swelling to go down. now i know what my face would look like if i was a fat chick. i'm contemplating posting them up.

i have some pics from the day of surgery where there's blood all over my lips and teeth. lol, they are so gross. i probably won't post those. but i gotta post at least one pic of how swollen my face is. it's terrible.

and my face still hurts. i can barely open my mouth halfway without having a stinging pain shoot through my whole face. it's bad. and i'm supposed to be starting school on monday and starting my grady volunteer thing, oh god. i hope my face starts acting right, ya dig?

so now that i had this surgery, i'm looking to get braces early next year to straighten out that tooth that i decided not to get removed. that's not gonna be fun. 25 and with braces.

i've been daydreaming about kissing someone. i'm not gonna say who it is, but i never thought i'd be imagining kissing this person.

riche finally has a new boyfriend. this guy she's been 'talking' to for a while now. she's been single for over a year and a half. i have never ever ever been single that long. i don't stay single for more than a few weeks at a time. but i'm single now and hopefully i can stay single for a year and a half too, at least a year anyway. i hink that'll be good and healthy for me. i don't think i like the idea anymore (or at least right now) of being tied down to just one person. and i think that i think this way because i don't want to have sex. if you're with one person, it starts to get serious and eventually the guy is gonna wanna smash. so if i date around, i don't have to focus on just one guy and i can see other people and so can he so if he wants to smash, he can call up some other chick.

have i said that i can't wait to go to new orleans? i need a vacation too.

i'm starting my last semester as an undergrad. come december, i'll have a bachelor's degree in biology. i can call myself a biologist now. that's so exciting. so many people i know that graduated are becoming elementary school teachers. hmm. that'll be my last option. but it sounds fun. i love kids.

i say i want to be single for a long time, but then i feel like i'm ready to settle down too. i want to go ahead and get married and have kids and buy a house and have a cool job and a nice car. i'm ready to have all that. i'm going on 25, come on! i don't know, i think that'll be a good look for me.

oh, i passed calculus...barely. i got a C+. i have never ever ever been more happy to get a C in my entire life. that's awesome. i am done with math forever. there's no math in grad school (for bio) or med school. so, yay!!!!

i still talk to my brother's ex girlfriend mylanda. i loved her so much. i was really hoping that they were gonna work out. but my brother was being a whore. why do guys fuck it up with good girls? they can be soo stupid. but you know what...later down the road when they're with chickenheads that ain't bout shit and you're doing big things...they'll come calling.

i am a huge believer in karma. my and my Persian twin had a long convo about karma and how we were both strong believers. my Persian twin is my exact match, but she's Persian. her name's Orozzo and she's da shiz. i met her in my micro lab last spring and we just sorta gravitated toward each other.

what goes around comes around. you get what you deserve. two big thumbs up to that.

btw, reading rainbow is the ish too.

i'm so bored right now. i need to go to bed so i can be rested when i go in to work.

the first thing people say or ask me when i tell them that i work at the bank is "put some money into my account". that is always the first thing people say. if i knew how to do that shit, why would i mess up my job trying to hook you up? boy stop! girl stop! i wouldn't do that even if i could. karma, remember?

i think i have to take out my nose ring and lip ring for volunteering at grady. i can tolerate taking out the nose ring, but taking out my lip ring is gonna be a problem. i've had this thing for six years, since 2003, but i'm pretty sure if i take it out again, it's gonna close up again. i took it out once for four hours and that shit would not let that ring go back through. i was so pissed. i had to get it repierced and it hurt like hell. and i had the piercing for like three years at the time. we'll see. we'll see how it goes.

i'm in desperate need of a new tattoo. and something really big. i want something really big on my right arm i think. i want my brother alan to design something for me. i'll get him to draw something for me when he comes down for my graduation and maybe i'll go ahead and get it in december. i might get something small while i'm in new orleans too. i want me and sam to get matching tattoos. i want us to get this:



we'll see what happens. i'll have to ask her if she's down. i wanna get mine on my ankle i think.

i really want some church's chicken right now. 3 piece spicy and a biscuit for $2.69 with a pepper pack. oh yeah! that sounds like a bet, but oh, wait, i can't. i have to eat jello and yogurt. my teeth still hurt. this is a good way to lose weight. i've been so hungry since thursday and all i can eat is noodles.

riche just got back from her "honeymoon" with her new boyfriend. i've always wanted to go out of town with a guy on a little vacation. me and torrey were gonna go on one, but then he started acting up, so, you know...it is what it is.

i started reading this sandra brown book today. i forgot what it's called. wait, no, this danielle steele book. i'm only on the first chapter. but this man and woman were married for 24 years and he finally tells her one night that for the past year, he's been cheating on her with a younger woman and that he was in love with the other woman and wanted to be with her. he didn't tell his wife this, but he had already asked to marry this other woman and they were going house hunting and everything already. he said that he didn't want her (his wife) anymore and that he didn't even want to try to work it out. he said the other woman made him happy and feel alive and he really really really wanted to be with her. i got so mad hearing this. his wife even begged him to leave his new chick and try to work things out. she was so in love with him, but he just dropped her and left. what a tool. i am not a fan of whores. i just remember getting so angry when i heard it and i actually felt what this woman was feeling. it was tough.

on a completely different note...i bought a bushel of cilantro a few days ago and i love it! i sometimes just eat the leaves for the hell of it. i've been putting them in my nog shim noodles.

ok, well i'm bout to go. i gotta make this money.

jenny "$7?! what are we in kindergarden?" jenn jenn

i took this medicine they gave me for my teeth for the first time yesterday and i woke up from a really weird, huge nightmare. it had to have been the narcotics they gave me.

i'll write about it later, i have to go to work now...and i still look like a chipmunk! my face is even more swollen than it was yesterday. damn!

jenny "so he was an African jew?" jenn jenn

my wisdom teeth are gone and i am in so much pain!

they gave me the nitrous oxide and i wasn't even laughing! it didn't work. i feel asleep quickly after the IV anesthesia. the whole thing took about 45 minutes. torrey took me. when i woke up after it was done, i was supposed to get into this wheelchair, but i couldn't, so torrey had to put me in it. they rolled me out to the car and torrey took me home. he was so sweet for doing that.

today, i felt like shit. i could really have used a boyfriend type thing today. somebody to hold my hand and stroke my hair and make me soup and let me lay my head in their lap all day to fall asleep in. ah-well.

this morning after the surgery, i was talking and my mouth was just full of blood and blood was dripping down my face and onto the coffee table. lol, it was so gross. it was terrible. but it's good now. it's still doing some spot bleeding and my jaws are so swollen. i look like a chipmunk. no, it's really not that bad.

ok, well i'm gonna go back to sleep. this medicine they gave me for the pain knocks me out. i don't know if i'll be going to work tomorrow night or what. ok, good night.

love,

jennifer a.

did i mention that i'm really feeling this whole twitter thing now? yeah, i've been twittering and twittering at people and responding to trending topics and doing it up.

so in case you don't know, it's

HERE!!!

jenny "so you guys on myspace, or..." jenn jenn

this is my 400th post!!!

on a sadder note...my brother got stabbed a couple nights ago. someone was trying to rob him at a walgreens near the base at jacksonville, nc. he was coming out of walgreens and got in his car when someone came and knocked on his car window asking for money. when he told the man he didn't have any money, the dude showed that he had a "gun" under his shirt and made my brother get out of the car. so josh got out and he said when he noticed that it wasn't a gun, he punched the dude a few times, and the dude stabbed him. he had a kitchen butcher knife the whole time. so he stabbed josh in the stomach and started to run. apparently josh got back in the car and tried to run the man down, but he didn't make it.

anyway, he spent the night in the hospital, but he's out now and he said he's fine. hopefully.

so tomorrow morning is the big day. i'm finally getting my teeth pulled. for real this time. four of them. yikes!

i had to call the paramedics on vickey on sunday night cause she drunk too much beer and something was going on with her breathing. she thought she was gonna have a heart attack. two days later, she was back to drinking again. she'll never learn...until it's too late.

i still have that same dime bag that i need to finish off. i didn't even smoke any of it yet. maybe labor day weekend if not this week.

i start at grady on monday. i'm gonna be doing it monday, wednesday, and friday mornings from 9 am to noon. i'm excited about it.

my tire went flat on my way to the mall yesterday. torrey came out and changed it for me. i know how to change a tire, but it's just hard for me to loosen up the bolts that hold the tire on, so i guess you can basically say that i can't change a tire (but it's purely for physical reasons only).

i did get that 97 hyundai sonata. it's pretty nice. it's really windowy. i'm gonna get the windows tinted in the next couple months. its way too windowy. but the car is pretty nice. it's dark blue. it even has rims! not hub caps, but some nice pacer rims. i want to get it eventually repainted to. i don't know what i want it to be yet, but i want something really...colorful.

i'm gonna donate the pontiac. i can write it off as a tax write off if i donate it. nobody is really gonna pay anything for it since the transmission is on its way out. i'm really gonna miss it too. it was my very first car. i bought it with my own money when i was 19, so i've had it for the past five years. it really feels like a sister to me.

but besides that, i start my volunteer thing on monday and we start classes on monday. i have classes, once again, from monday to friday and sam only has classes on tuesday and thursday. i told her she'll only be able to do that for her first year or two, but after that, it'll pretty much be monday through friday.

i graduate on december 14. it's a monday night, which is so waaaaaaack! but i gotta send mattie all the info so she can make my invitations. but i gotta go get my cap and gown so i can take pictures to put in my invitations. i think i'm gonna go ahead and take the GRE in the next few weeks and go for my masters starting this coming spring at Georgia State and then go to med school after I get that. I figure I'll be done with the masters thing in just one year. i'll be done in time to start med school (if that's what i decide to do) in the fall of 2011. if i don't do med school, having a master's will be good if i decide to apply to work at the CDC. those are my two big options of what i wanna do.

ok, how bout this shady, grimy, ugly ass nigga (vickey's ex darias aka my #1 enemy) came and knocked on my door asking to buy my car for $100. WHAT THE FUCK!!! i told him he done lost his mind. you know how much money i put into that car? i can get more than that from it just by taking it to a junk yard. you want me to basically give you my car and you know i can't stand yo ugly ass? get the fuck outta here! i told him "uh...no! i'm gonna donate the car so i can get some kind of money off of it." and he was pissed, but i don't give a fuck! who the fuck is he? he can kick rocks, that ain't got shit to do with me. that just really ticked me off that he thought i was gonna let him have my car like that. i asked vickey while he was standing right there "why did you let him come to my door and embarass himself like that?" that was so mean, lol, but oh well!

anyway...our new orleans trip is till on for halloween weekend. sam is so excited about it. we gotta go shopping for it soon. it's gonna be fun.

ok, well i gotta go take this medicine for my surgery tomorrow. but i'm gonna leave you all with this very funny video i found on you tube. it's called:

"Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips on How to Make Your Kids Less Attractive."


jenny "what? he's a guy! that's what guys look like." jenn jenn

i am so excited cause i tweeted something today to gavin degraw about how he's really pimping out his international t-shirt day thing waaay too hard...and he actually responded to me!!!

he asked if it was too much, and i told him it was all good and that i would represent for him at georgia state.

that's my boo right there, for life, i don't give a fuck what anybody says.

so i'm starting to love this twitter thang. it's pretty straight.

gavin tweeted a few days ago that he drinks more coffee than water and i was just like, that's me right there. i definitely need to drink my coffe to water drinking ratio.

but i'm so excited to see what his response to my latest tweet is. he's so awesome. ok, yes! i'm obsessed! so what? that just really made my day. i was having a really shitty, depressing day until i read that, so i'm good son.

on a side note, i've noticed that i am becoming so hood. like, i've been getting in touch with my black side and it's not so bad. i can't let it take over though...i don't want to be THAT kind of girl.

ok, i'm gonna go eat some chips and dip now. bye bye.

jenny "when am i ever gonna need to make tiramisu?" jenn jenn

it's 4 in the morning, i can't sleep, and i could definitely use a nice, slow, deep back rub right now. mmmm.

jenny "i've never been with an older guy before" jenn jenn

so sam works at caribou coffe (boo!). that's so wack. everybody knows starbucks is the one that holds a special place in my heart.

anyway, this chick tries to win me over by bringing me all this caribou coffee stuff. she brings me cookies, brownies, all kinds of pastries, blended drinks, all that stuff. but the chick has yet to let me holla at that coffee. i don't get all that fancy stuff at starbucks, i just like the coffee. now, i need to sample this caribou coffee to see what's really up.

jenny "don't you have any non-infant clothes?" jenn jenn

and here this fool goes again...posted up in front of the sports profile at five points, doing his thang. what a mess.



jenny "you mean like a man dick?" jenn jenn

yeah, i think it's a wrap on me and torrey. i just really have not been feeling him lately...at all. he...i don't even know what to say about the dude. i think the last time i'm ever gonna talk to him is next week after he takes me to my dentist appointment (it had to get rescheduled). i'm not feeling it.

jenny "take off that vest...you look like aladdin" jenn jenn

and then once again, my boo. dancing in downtown atlanta, making a damn fool of himself one more time.



jenny "she perioded on my leg?" jenn jenn

so my oral surgery got pushed back from today to tomorrow.

then me and sam are taking a little one day long road trip from atlanta to charlotte and back all in the same day. i gotta go pick up the car my dad bought for me.

i'm supposed to be starting at grady soon in the infectious diseases department. i have to interact with HIV/AIDS patients and tell them all about the disease, how it works, what to expect, what kind of medicines to take, give supportive care...all that. i'm excited about that too. i should be starting next week cause this week is all full for me.

i just ordered my new sprint phone today. it's a rant. it's supposed to be good for texting, which i do all day long every day. and it has a really good camera and i can supposedly watch youtube videos and listen to music on it. i was gonna get the rumor 2, but i think i need to try something new. more people had more good things to say about the rant anyway.

ok, well i gotta finish getting ready for work. peace out.

jenny "break yo self fool. aaaaaaahhhhhhhh! tight." jenn jenn

and y'all know i couldn't leave y'all without putting up another video of my boo dancin up on here. this man is a trip. i see him all the time at the underground just a dancin and i saw some kids filming him one day, so i checked youtube and found like 20 videos of this fool dancing around the underground.

so here's another one:



jenny "you dance hot!" jenn jenn

oh, what i wanted to talk about...this stalking thing.

ok, so i thought i had this whole stalker situation in check, but apparently not. now its just getting bizarre. just really weird. everytime i think about it, i think about this song. the words are so scary, but they try to put it to a nice, melodic beat so you won't notice.



and in case you didn't hear the words:

Whatcha� doin� tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Who's stealin' your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm scream out
Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...

[Repeat Chorus]

If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...


CREEPY!!!

jenny "evan, that's psycho shit" jenn jenn

so once again, me and torrey have fallen out.

ok, so my car broke down on me and it's not working right now. i need to get my transmission fixed/replaced ($$$yikes$$$). so with him being my boyfriend, i asked him to take me to work and pick me up. he seemed cool about it the first day he dropped me off, but after that...he had been being such a dick! i'm talking about fucked up stank ass attitude, being all quiet when he dropped me off or picked me up. picking me up late and dropping me off late.

he was late one day and i got mad and told him what was up and this dude had the nerve to tell me that he was doing me a favor and that i wasn't allowed to be mad at him for dropping me off late. WHAT AN ASSHOLE! when i say i wanted to hop up and punch this dude square in his face...but i held my tongue cause i needed a ride. but i swear to god, i wanted to sock this dude right in his stupid face.

i told him...after he took me home that night, i wouldn't ask his stank ass for nothing else and that was it. i really have nothing to say to the dude. what an ass, that's all i can say. i haven't talked to him since. that was a couple days ago. he's been pissing me off. i need to stop fuckin with him for good though.

my dad's supposed to be buying me a newer car this week. it's a 97 something. i forgot what he said. but i hope he gets it cause ya girl is hurtin for a car right about now. my baby pooped out on me. i'm not gonna lie, i'm gonna be so sad when i have to let it go for good. i'm gonna try to sell it somewhere/someplace/somehow.

anyways, i've been up for over 30 hours...so i'm going to sleep now.

peace.

jenny "oh my god, it's in!" jenn jenn

Oh sweet sleep! Please come take my body for the next 12 to 13 hours.

i see this crackhead all the time just a dancin at five points. i smile and laugh every time i see this dude. he has two signature moves that i always watch for. the one where he does the backwards waggle thing and the one where he puts his finger up in the air and rotates his hips. everytime i see him, i gotta see him do those two moves before i can move on.

he is too funny.



jenny "i've got a goddamn veteranary exam. this is bullshit" jenn jenn

i bought my first bag of weed the other day. i bought a dime bag. it was so weird. i usually let other people buy and i share it with them. but this time, i actually bought and paid for it. so this thursday when i'm done with summer classes, i'm gonna have some fun.

my surgery is one week from today. four teeth. damn. that's gonna hurt. i might have to call out from work. we'll see. i'm gonna tell the dentist to drill holes through the teeth so i can make a necklace. lol, that's so stupid.

i gave an oral presentation today and for the very first time, i wasn't even all that nervous. i knew exactly what i was talking about and i made eye contact with the audience and i even made them laugh. so i'm getting better and better.

the whole stalking situation i was experiencing...it's died down. i think this dude is coming to his senses.

i talked to my dad today and he told me that he got all of his teeth removed. oh my god! he said he was having really bad oral problems and had to get all of his teeth removed. he's only 53! geeze louise! so he has a set of dentures right now, but in three months after his gums have healed, he's gonna get 28 teeth implanted into his gums. that's $1,000 per tooth. hey, i'd spend that much too to avoid having to wear dentures. i just can't believe it. he got 22 teeth removed. that's gross. i hope i can see his mouth before he gets the implants. i'd probably cry if i saw that. that's sad.

i must have gotten my teeth from my mom. my mom doesn't have teeth that looks like mine, but my brother tj and my sister katrina have teeth like mine...big. we must have gotten them from a grandparent or something.

i was excited about these braces i'm supposed to be getting, but now i'm not really looking forward to them. they're expensive, they require a lot of upkeep, i can't eat candy...it's gonna suck. there'll be a lot of things i won't be able to eat ;). whatevs...its all good cause i haven't been eating much lately anyways. i'm trying to lose 8 pounds by halloween.

so there's this asian dude that's tryin to holla at me now. i've never had an asian dude trying to get at me before. well, scratch that. this will be the second asian dude, but the first asian dude trying hardcore to get at me. the first guy was just kinda being laid back about it. but this new dude is waiting on me to lose my man. he told me that when i'm looking forward to moving on, i should come holla at him.

it's cool cause now, i can have whatever guy i want. i remember when there was a time where i couldn't get anybody that i wanted. i liked this one guy, alex, from 7th grade to 10th grade, but ya boy was just not feeling me at all. he was mexican, but he had green eyes or blue eyes or something. but he showed ya girl no love. he would get with me today, i'm sure. but then, i have to admit, i wasn't hittin on nothin. i couldn't blame him. then this other guy i liked in middle school, uriah. he's an albino. i found him on myspace and facebook last year and i had asked him if he remembered me cause i had a hardcore crush on him. i told him that he wasn't feeling me at all though. he said, "i don't know why i wasn't feeling you cause you're a gorgeous girl." so that was sweet, but i did let him know that i was a beast then. i'm just glad that i'm through with that phase in my life.

so apparently i have good ninja skills. i'm supposedly pretty good at black jack too. i'll leave it at that.

one of my life's goals is to go to an open mic thing and to do some freestylin. i've been thinking about that a lot lately. i would never have the guts to do it, but one day, i will do it.

so i'm still prett set on this bangs thing. i really want some bangs, but torrey is just not feeling it. like really not feeling it. im like wtf? what's the big deal? i'm definitely not gonna get it just cause he doesn't like it. maybe he had a bad experience with a girl who had bangs.

anyways....gonna get ready to go to work. i'll holla.

jenny "he's fast...he's the fastest kid alive" jenn jenn

so myspace has this new feature where it tells you how many times each particular picture that you have posted has been viewed.

and for some reason...i can only guess as to why...but this one particular picture has WAAAAAAAAY MORE views than any other picture that i have. it has at least three times as many views as any other pic.

i'm gonna blame it on horny guys that may be looking at it at 3 in the am.



jenny "oh shit! the cops!" jenn jenn

man..."i feel like a dick."

i've seen "say anything" like six times in six days. i never realized that it was such a great movie.

jenny "and one little bottle of spermicidal lube" jenn jenn

well fuck me!

so i'm 24...going on 25...and my first wisdom tooth is just now trying to come in. these things are supposed to pop out when you're 17 or so. everything happens late for me. i started school late. i haven't had sex yet. maybe i'll hit a growth spurt later and end up being 5'10. that would be nice.

but yeah, i was looking in my mouth today and i see a new tooth trying to peek through my gums in the back of my mouth. its so weird. but that's a non-issue cause in about two weeks, that tooth will be gone. my insurance finally approved my teeth removal. so i'm getting all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. they're gonna have to cut through my gums to get to them, but they're coming out. they wanted to take out a fifth tooth, but i was like "does that tooth really need to come out? can't i just get braces to pull it back in line?". so that's what they're gonna do. after i get these four wisdom teeth pulled, i'll get my teeth cleaned and then maybe a few months later...braces. that'll be weird, but we'll see how it goes. just when i thought my smile couldn't get any more perfect ;)

so i'm gonna have this major mouth surgery in two weeks. torrey is taking me. they want someone to drive me there and drive me home. i have to be on some serious meds like a week and a half before the surgery and then probably afterwards too. when i get there, there's gonna give me two different types of anesthesia. one of which is nitroux oxide, which i am so exicted about. i cannot wait to get some of that N2O. i'm gonna be laughing my ass off at nothing before i fall asleep.

but i'm glad i'm getting this done now so i can have it done before i take my new orleans trip. hey, what if i get down there and then want to eat some meat ;). that's why i'm gonna wait a few months on the braces. i don't want to be trying to look all hot and then smile and have a mouth full of metal. i bet when i get my braces, i'll look even younger than i do now. i can see it now. i'm gonna get mistaken for 12 and 13. i just know it.

oh shit! i just realized that torrey is gonna HATE when i get braces. cause that'll mean no more...woooooow. lol. that is too funny. i guess i'll be single for a few months (or however long i have to wear braces for). wow, i never even thought of that. dah well.

well i'm gonna go get about three hours of sleep and then i won't get to sleep again until thursday night. i have a calculus test to study for and that means no sleep until the test is done...which is thursday night. that'll be another 36 hour day/night for me. ah shit.

ok, well i'm gonna peace on out of here.

later bitches.

jenny "ow! what the shit was that!" jenn jenn

guys love my pie. hey, girls love to eat my pie too.

and now for a really banging song. the video sucks, but the song rocks.



jenny "hey! back the fuck off before i beat the shit out of you!" jenn jenn

i saw this one commercial where the bk king put some shaving cream onto this girls hand, tickled her nose, and made her hit herself in the face with the shaving cream. it made me laugh cause i remembered this one episode that happened back in 03.

we were here in atlanta for our national hosa championships. so akia was here and i was sharing a room with her and raven and fallon. i think we even shared a bed cause i think raven and fallon shared a bed (they're sisters). i can't remember, but that had to be the way that it went.

anyway, it was late at night and me and fallon and raven didn't want to go to sleep yet, but akia was knocked the fuck out. she can lay down and be asleep in a matter of seconds. she laid down and litterally five seconds later, you could hear her snoring sooo loud. so i tell fallon and raven to give me their makeup. i got some ketchup packets and filled her hands with ketchup. i drew makeup all over her face. i gave her a ketchup mustache. it was hi-larious. i could not stop laughing.

then the bitch woke up in the middle of my artwork-ing. and ya girl was pissed! i ran my little ass into the bathroom and locked the door cause i litterally thought that girl was gonna beat my ass. lol, it's funny now. i stayed in the bathroom for like two hours, i was soo scared. i mean, the girl is over 300 lbs i'm guessing...that's more than three of me. it was too funny though.

like two hours later, raven came and knocked on the door and told me that akia had finally went to sleep and that i could come out and go to bed now. so i did. i went to lay down and fell asleep. i wake up like thirty minutes later and akia is trying to do something to me. i think she was trying to put mayonnaise or relish on my face or something like that. so everybody woke up and we just laughed for the longest time.

those were the days. now i can't stand the bitch. we were pretty good friends back in the day. i remember i was in a room with like five or six people and they were talking so much shit about this girl. i remember just being so mad and so angry that they were talking about her so bad.

i thought we were really good friends, but then she tries to hook up my boyfriend at the time with this ugly bitch. it was just like, what did i ever do to her? not a damn thing. she's wack. i shouldn't be mad at her...i should only be mad at the guy for taking the bait. but i can be mad at her cause we were supposed to be friends. she was just a hater though. she probably was just mad that she wasn't me.

she actually had the nerve to message me on myspace or facebook or something a couple years back trying to talk to me and request my friendship. i told her...weren't you the chick that was trying to hook my boyfriend up with some other girl when you knew we were going out? she never responded to me and never said anything else to me since. that's so funny.

i think her having something against me had something to do with me running against her in high school for treasurer of the national technical vocational honor society. i beat her and i think she secretly started hating me after that. hey, i wanted some kind of office? i was gonna run for secretary, but i knew leniqua was running for that too and she had a whole lot more friends than me. i knew i could beat akia, so i chose to run for treasurer. lol. that's so mean.

but i'm sure akia and crystal (the girl she tried to hook my ex up with) are happy we aren't together anymore. good. either one of them can have him. i don't give a fuck. i fought for him for a long time and i look back now and just ask myself why. it wasn't even that serious.

i remember how my ex used to call me "sunshine" and i thought that was his own little special name for me. so i saw a text that he wrote to this girl once saying "i miss you sunshine". wtf? what a tool. and i found pics of him and this girl in his phone. pics and video. all the time! not just once or twice. i was the dummy though, for sticking around.

i'm the kind of bitch that'll hold a grudge. so?

so for torrey to think that i'm the kind of girl to cheat and do that kind of thing when i'm in a relationship with him...it's really a slap in the face. that's not my style. if i wanna fuck around with somebody else, i won't lead you on. i can't even imagine how i'd handle trying to hook up with multiple guys. it's too much. one is enough for me. so i have no idea where torrey gets this idea that i'm some kind of whore or something. having gone through what i've gone through, i wouldn't dare think about doing that to somebody else. i mean, i know i talk a lot of shit, but it's just talk. i would never do something like that. it's just really not my style.

so i remembered all this stuff just because of a burger king commercial. lol. dang. i'm going to bed now.

peace out.

jenny "it's you...McMuffin!" jenn jenn

Just had a nice hot cup of starbucks coffee. Now gonna take a long hot bubble bath and then take a nap.

this is a very awesome video. possibly the most awesome video that i have ever seen on the internet....ever.



jenny "the skin comes right off" jenn jenn

i'm still here!

i've been away for a little while, but i really need to update this thing huh? well i'm in the middle of doing a project for one of my classes right now, so i'll do a brief update now and a more definitive one later.

the one thing i wanna say now is:

HALLOWEEN WEEKEND '09 --> NEW ORLEANS BABY!

its official. i'll be going with riche, sam, riche's "boyfriend", another couple that riche knows and another girl. i am so excited.

i won't be booed up while i'm in new orleans so i can really have fun. torrey is cool and everything, but ya boy be blockin! that's so wack when your boyfriend blocks like that, right?

no, it's gonna be fun though.

oh, and the stalker comment i made earlier? ok, so i was trying to be nice to this person, i won't say who and i won't say what i did, but i need to be not so nice in the future because stalking is not cute. it really isn't.

what else...ok, well there's a couple of guys who put messages in my honesty box saying that they're digging what i'm throwing out there. you know, they said they think i'm really pretty and one said he sees me around campus all the time and wanted to get together one day soon. i just wish i knew who it was. i think it might be darnell f-ing around or it might be torrey f-ing around to see what i'll do. for some reason, torrey thinks that i'm that kind of girl. but whatevs. that ain't my problem. so, but yeah. torrey got all mad cause i got excited about these dudes leaving me messages in my honesty box. i mean, duh! i'm a girl, of course i'm gonna get excited when a dude tells me that i'm pretty and that he thinks we should meet cause he thinks we'd really hit it off. that to me is telling me that, "hey, i think you're really pretty. i would like to go out with you sometime. maybe have the possibility of you being my girlfriend. that means that i get to kiss you and hold your hand while we're walking down the street and we get to be around each other all the time." that's what i get from that and its really flattering when a guy feels that way, so of course i'm gonna eat it up. torrey is just gonna have to get over himself on that one.

so i keep talking about this sleeve that i'm gonna get. i really wanna get one soon. i'll probably end up starting it small and then gradually adding stuff onto it. i think i wanna get my right arm done and start it around the bicep area and eventually have my entire right arm tatted up. from writst to shoulder. that's gonna be hot (to me).

this thing that i've been saying and just wearing out now is: "i'm not trying to be rude or anything...but can you shut the fuck up?" i am killing that phrase.

my car is trying to die on me. awww.

this was supposed to be brief, but i know i have that presentation to work on and i'm trying to put it off. i ain't slick. i'm trying to trick myself, see?

sam registered for her classes for fall. she's gonna take five i think. i'm trying to coach her so she can get out in two years too. ("two years bitch, say somethin'!").

i got this little raise at work so i've been looking for a roommate. i've been living with vickey for almost two years now and i gotta say: i'm too grown for this shit. i need my own spot. well i only work part time, so i'll be getting a roommate this time around, so hopefully soon...

oh, and josh gets out of the marines at the end of this year (or so he says) and he says he gonna go to school in charlotte. he's gonna go to cpcc for a year or two then transfer to johnson and wales to do culinary arts or some crap like that. he says he's gonna get an apartment in the same complex that i used to live in when i lived down there. that's gonna be so funny, so weird. but i hope he does get his own place. that way if and when i ever come back to charlotte, i can stay at his place insteaf of my dad's. if i stay at my dads, that won't work out if i wanted to meet up with some people. been there, tried that. so, that'll be perfect.

i had this weird dream about mitch the other night. so mitch and i were talking a couple weeks back and he was telling me all this stuff. i won't get into it, but i think that's why i had a dream about him the other night. i dreamt that i was walking in the mall. i had on this short skirt and these heels right? so i'm walking out of a store and this little dude comes up and starts walking beside me. now i'm only 5'3, so this little dude comes up to me and only comes up to my waist-ish area and i look down and he puts his arm around my waist and starts walking with me. i look at this dude and it turns out its mitch! lol. i have no idea what that was supposed to mean, but it was so weird.

i was daydreaming about kissing mitch the other day. since torrey doesn't read my blog anymore, i can say that. i think one day its gonna happen. and when it does happen, i think that'll be the hottest kiss i will ever have in my entire life. cause, it's like years in the making you know? years of pent up sexual tension i guess. but yeah, i daydream about that kiss sometimes. it will most definitely one day happen; its now just a matter of when. i think the longer the wait the better it'll be.

and i was thinking about this sex thing. i actually found myself crying a couple weeks back about this whole virginity thing and about me not having sex still. but i got over it. i think that may have been my third crying episode over it. i mean, i get upset about it a lot, but i've only gotten to the point of tears maybe three times. but it is what it is. i'm over it (at the moment anyway). so i was thinking...there's at least two, maybe three guys from my past that i would like to try to have sex with after i start (we like to call it "bus' it wide open"). i'm not gonna say who they are. but two definitely, one maybe.

and sex with me and torrey. i think about it. a lot. actually, i'll say that 60% of the time when i think about it, i want to go ahead and have sex with him. but the other 40% of the time, i tell myself i'm not ready. so until i'm at 100% (cause there ain't no going back), i'm just gonna have to keep putting it off. i don't want to have any regrets.

one of my sexual fantasies...one of the top ones actually...is to have sex on a really squeaky bed. shhh! don't tell nobody.

so i bought this really cute dress at the mall really early last year. so its a size zero and when i bought it, it could fit and it was bad. now it's almost two years later and...dunh dunh dunh...i can put it on, but it will only zip halfway up now. that means...i need to lose a couple pounds. but fuck a couple pounds, i wanna go ahead and get down to 100. so i gotta lose about...8 pounds i'll say. that's very doable. i want to wear it at my graduation, so i better get started now. but if i start now, that means i'll have to lose only less than 2 lbs a month. that's less than 1 pound every two weeks. i'll need to lose half a pound every week. that's very doable. so i'm gonna get started now. but now i'm thinking, that dress may be too big if i go all the way down to 100. we'll see.

ok, what else?...i think that's it. i've procrastinated long enough, i gotta do this assignment.

ok, and, uh...thats it for now. i gotta go take a nap so i can do some work.

peace out!

jenny "can we get 13 road beers to go please" jenn jenn

Stalkers are so not cute.

I want to get a publix cake for my graduation that says, ''2 years, bitch. Say somethin!''

I could use some ihop right about now. Steak omelette with strawberry topped pancakes...oh yeah!

Looks like i'm getting my 4 wisdom teeth pulled and then getting braces at some point after that to straighten that 5th tooth. That'll be a sight.

I love my Snugee! Actually, its a 'Cudlee', the Maxway $5 knockoff. I love it just the same.

i'm taking this biology seminar class and they tell us what we can do after we graduate. they said for bio majors (and other science majors), we can get a certificate two months after we graduate to teach k-12. they basically told me that i can be a high school science teacher for starting in the fall of '10. next fall. geeze lo-uise! i can't even imagine that. i'm barely 5'3, i look like i'm in middle school, and i'm gonna have this huge as boys and girls calling me Miss Anderson. lol, damn. and having to grade papers and give exams and this and that. that's wild. it's definitely an option for me now though. if med school or grad school doesn't work out, maybe i'll be an elementary school teacher or a middle school science teacher. we'll see now that works out.

i don't know, i've been thinking about it a lot over the past week and its sounding more and more appealing. being a high school biology teacher. that's wassup. i could live with that. they said high school science teachers make pretty decent money too. we'll see though.

i just finished my immunology class this summer and i think i got an A+. i haven't checked my grade yet, but i'm pretty sure. and that's a much needed 4.3 added to my gpa. thank god...cause that C i got in orgo killed my gpa. well it didn't kill it, but it dropped it a little bit. now for the rest of the summer, i'm taking virology, medical microbiology, calculus, and a biology seminar. this should be a 4.0 summer semester if i can get into this calculus. it's hard man!

i have my final five classes in the fall. i'm gonna take applied microbiology, biochemistry, organic chemistry II lab, microbial pathogenesis, and microbial ecology and metabolism. it's mostly micro classes since that's my concentration. maybe i'll look into interning at the cdc and maybe work there after this undergrad if nothing else goes through. i'd actually rather work at the cdc than being a high school teacher. we'll see.

sams graduation was a couple weeks back. it was fun cause i saw some of my family that i hadn't seen in a while. i can't wait til my graduation this december. i'm inviting everybody and we're gonna have a great time. my brothers, my mamma, my aunts, some cousins. i'm gonna throw a huge party for myself.

but yeah, after sam graduated, we came back to atlanta that next day and had a party for her that saturday night. it was cool. it was all her family, not mine, so i wasn't really that into it. i drunk some nasty ass heineken. beer is so wack. it's sooo overrated. it just tastes so bad, why do people bother drinking it? it's a peer pressure type thing i guess. and i smoked some wack ass weed. i only felt buzzed for like half an hour...and i smoked like twice as much as i usually do. the good stuff has me going and laughing my ass off for hours, but not this shit. it must have been like 60% oregano or something. i've never smoked anything that wack/weak. it bet-not happen again, i know that.

anyway, i've got some calculus homework to do. peace out homies. while i'm gone...peep this very awesome pic i found online. it's so funny.



jenny "Miss Anderson" jenn jenn

Headed into work. Wish i didnt have to go cause its so beautiful outside. The sun is setting and it just looks gorgeous. Peace homies.

God! I don't want to be here anymore! It doesn't really feel like home anymore. I need to find a new home, a fresh start.

Im hating GA more & more every day.A change of scenery is way overdue.Its bout time to get the hell up outta here.Ive been here long enough.

Bout to start this 4 hour calculus class. I had to drop calc a few semesters back cause i got zeros on everything! Pray for me y'all.

i saw this picture and i just thought it was the bomb.

Just got to Charlotte. Body is ACHIN. Head is BANGIN. Could really use a full body rub-down. Anyways, graduation tonight, big party tomorrow night in ATL cya!

Just got back from the dentist and i may need to get 5 teeth pulled!!! Please pray for ya girl.

I have been craving my dads lasagna for the longest. And some garlic bread too...girl stop.

I just had a really disturbing dream about bugs and spiders and fish and dog food. Don't ask.

Damn, my foot is acting up again. I'm getting so tired of this. They need to go ahead and chop it off or something. It hurts sooo bad.

Its rainin and stormin outside and theres nothing i'd like more right now than slow, deep, sensuous kisses-just laying in a bed with a big warm body holding me.

and one more to represent my german side ;)



i'm gonna do a post completely in german one of these days.

jenny "ich bin McTyler" jenn jenn

...and the wackest video i've ever seen on youtube.




jenny "i'll be like the iron chef of pounding vag!" jenn jenn

this is the most awesome video i have ever seen on youtube.





jenny "what are you trying to be, an irish r and b singer" jenn jenn

I love spending money and buying things...but now i need an older man to help me with that.

by the way, i'm sending this from my rumor. I'm glad i learned how.

i've been single for just a couple of weeks and one of riche's friends is already trying to holla. i guess he saw me talking to her on her facebook wall back and forth and he saw what he liked ;) riche is having this drinking social at her place sometime this summer and i cannot wait. i need to kick back and have some drinks with some cool people.

but nah, that's not for me. actually, riche got me hooked up with daniel. daniel is the only dude to ever break up with me and ends things with me. usually, it's me who ends things. that's really actually intriguing to me. he has a girlfriend now. they have been going out for like the past five months. dang, he never tells me anything. but i'm proud of him. he's condo shopping in atlanta right now. he just graduated from georgia tech. he's gonna start working for this financial company in august. i'm really proud of him.

today, vickey reminded me that when i first got bac, to atlanta two years ago, all i wanted to eat was hot wings. i love hot wings. i'm gonna have hot wings, banana pudding, and buttercream cake at my wedding. those three are definites. anyways, i'm gonna take a shower.

ohh...that reminds me. i forgot to talk about this when it happened to me a couple months back. so i was taking a shower and i had this nicely lathered up bath towel and i was washing myself. i was working my way down to my...ehhm...you know. so i was washing myself and my finger slips from underneath the bath towel and i STAB myself! oh my god! yeah, my finger slips in and i cut myself. and my finger had a pretty long, sharp nail on it. so it didn't really hurt, so i thought i was all right...until a few seconds later when all this bright red blood starts flowing out of me. i started to really freak out. i thought that i had broken my hymen. i called up torrey and darnell (cause he's supposed to be really experienced) and told them about it. they didn't really offer any good advice about it. but later, i started to notice that it burned a little when i peed, which more than likely meant that i just scratched the inside of my vagina and didn't break my hymen. it was waaay too much blood to be from a broken hymen.

anyways, now that i bring it up, i better go get a pelvic exam now and a pap smear. you're supposed to get one when you turn 18 or when you become sexually active, whichever one comes first. but i haven't had sex yet, so i never really went to get one. i'm gonna try to remember to schedule one by next week. but i need to get one because when you cut yourself or break skin, you get an influx of new cells to the damaged area. well these new cells start diving to repair and replace the new skin/tissue that was damaged. well with cancer, the cells just keep dividing and dividing and don't know when to stop. they keep diving and can cause huge bundles of cancer cells (tumors) or can be small bundles of cancer cells that travel throughout the blood or circulatory system and spread throughout your body. so i need to go get tested for that.

anyways, that's TMI for one night. i'll holla bitches.

jenny "car 98 on it...you dumb fucking whore" jenn jenn

today has not been a good day for me. i got nothing done, i'm exhausted, i'm in a bad mood...

i've taken a vow of single-acy. i'm gonna stay single for at least tweleve months. that's gonna be so hard for me cause i'm so dependent on being in a relationship. i think the longest time i've spent in between guys was like two months. i need to show myself that i don't need to be with a guy to be me. and my problem is that i end up making the guy my best friend. so being my best friend and my boyfriend is messing me up i think. i need to keep my friends seperate and my boyfriend seperate.

i've had three very different boyfriends over a large period of time and i'm still not getting it right. i need to do something different. i'm gonna be leaning toward an older man next time. maybe somebody in his 30s. i think that's maybe what i need next. maybe i'll meet him when i get to med school.

i had to cut things off with torrey. it was getting bad. we were falling out way too often. i don't want to end up with him like me and lamar ended up. i actually want to be friends with this dude still at least (one day) and if i continued to let it happen, we could continue to fall out and things would just go from bad to worse. i don't want that because torrey is definitely someone i can see talking to for the rest of my life and being part of my life in some way.

it's just that...i'm the most laid back black girl that i know. hell, i'm the most laid back person that i know...period. i don't know why i keep having bad luck with the fellas. i'm doing something really wrong. or i'm just dating the wrong people.

i can't stand being single. torrey told me one time that i was needy. i guess i am. damn, i hate to see how i act when i actually start having sex with a dude and then get really needy. i know it, i'm gonna be all psycho then. lol, dang mustang. whatevers...it is what it is.

i was reading cosmo and it said the best way to get back at an ex was to get really really really really hot. lol, i liked that one. letting a virgin read cosmo is like giving a quadraplegic dancing shoes. it's just like...what's the point?

on a completely different note, i'm planning my spring break 2010 to roswell and albuquerque (damn thats hard to spell) new mexico. who's coming with me?

jenny "it was between that and mohammad" jenn jenn

i just want to be happy.

jenny "mclovin! why?!?!" jenn jenn

i have been twittering and it's so wack. what's the point?

anyways, i was texting back and forth with mitch the other day. mitch will either text me or send me messages on facebook every couple months or so. anyways, he told me he was in charlotte for a week (in between classes) and was wondering if i was there. no. so he said he was gonna make a special trip up to atlanta and wanted to hang out with me. i told him, if i'm still single, we could do that. he said something about spending some QT time. cooking something, watching a movie. that's cool. i'm laid back like that. that's my thing. it sounds ideal, but i always find myself in a relationship and just don't have time for him.

yeah, mitch is definitely the one that got away for me. i've always wanted to hook up with him, but the timing was never right for either of us. he was going out with this chick and i was going out with this dick in high school, so it was never a good time. who knows though, maybe one day. i had this picture of us at prom in our senior year. i didn't go with him, but i had this really cute picture of me standing with him and his arm around my waist. i wish i could find that. i'm gonna have to fish it out. it was actually better than any picture that i took with lamar that night.

the day of the gavin degraw concert, i took a nap and dreamt that i kissed darnell. i wonder where me and darnell would be now if that chick of his hadn't emailed me up trying to lay her claim to him. i don't know, i'm a pretty solid person...i think we may be still going out. not that we were going out. we were working on getting to know each other. we were starting to make plans to see each other and hang out, even though i was here and he was in SC. that would have been interesting to see how it all would have worked out.

i've been thinking about a lot of "what if"s lately. me and torrey broke up again. he's just such an asshole. he's whiny and he can be a real jerk. not cute.

so i've been thinking about what if i was with someone else.

ok, my head is banging right now, so i'm gonna go take a bubble bath, then go knock out.

peace homies.

jenny "that's vag-tastic!" jenn jenn

i'm on Twitter now!!

...and it is sooo wack. it's like, what's the point? but my boo gavin degraw is on there, so i signed up so i could follow him.

anyways, it's here.

peace out.

jenny "hey! you know a guy named jimmy? you totally look like his brother dude. you do." jenn jenn

today was an ok day. i did a lot for and about me today. i fixed up my hair and threw on some sandals and my bag and went to campus. when i talked to a dude about my financial aid a few days ago, that douche bag said i couldn't get any more financial aid for summer. then i talked to another dude today and wound up getting over $4000 in financial aid. so i might actually get a refund this summer. cool! it's amazing what a smile can do. my smile is my moneymaker man. gotta keep this up. i'm thinking about getting braces. i have a couple of teeth that need to be put in line with the rest.

anyway, then i went to the mall by myself and did some retail therapy. then i headed to walmart. i was gone for hours. tomorrow, i'll be going through a tour of the cdc with a few people from my micro class. i'm kinda excited about it. but it's like a two hour tour. how can a tour of the cdc possibly be two hours? anyways, i'm gonna work it out.

i've been working on my freestyling skills. i'd like to think that i'm getting better and better every day. when i first started, it was really elementary. but now it's getting...a higher level of elementary, lol. it's getting better though, that's the important thing. i'm gonna be a rap superstar real soon. wayne is gonna be hitting me up for some tips. naw, let me stop. but i'm working at it.

ok. i've been out and about all day. gotta go to bed now. peace out homies.

jenny "hey! you know a guy named jimmy? you totally look like his brother man...you totally do" jenn jenn

so i checked my email today and guess what?....

once again, for the second year in a row, i won meet and greet passes to next week's gavin degraw concert!

i am so excited...that's my boo.

this will be my third time meeting him and talking with him and my fourth concert of his in the past year.

so now i gotta straighten my hair, throw together an outfit, get my nails done, all that. charge up my camera batteries cause there will be plenty of photos and video, ok!

going over to torrey's now.

peace.

jenny "i am mclovin" jenn jenn

so my b-day has passed and gone. it was fun while it lasted. i had fun. we went to a comedy club. there was three comedians. for the most part, they were wack, except for the last dude. i forgot his name though. and then the host was tyler craig. he's that dude from comicview that always seems like he's drunk when he's on stage and he has those long dreds.



and after that, i went over to torrey's and chilled with him for the rest of the night. i had half a drink and i was sitting up there and just sipping on it for two hours. i was fine until i stood up. i was soo woozy from that half a drink. i'm usually not such a light weight. it takes a lot for me to get tipsy, but i guess i didn't have any food on my stomach, so...anyway. torrey had to pick me up. i usually drive over to his place, but he had to come get me. the moral of the story is: eat something when you drink alcohol.

i cannot wait for this semester to be over. one more week. finals are next week and then i have a week off before summer semester starts. then mcats are on august 15 for me. i was gonna make a trip to charlotte, but i don't think i'll have the time. i don't even know if i can go to sam's graduation in june. not enough time man.

i know, though, that at the end of this semester, which is at the end of next week, ya girl is gonna get fuuuucked up! josh was telling me how he had some bacardi 151 and that's straight alcohol. he said he just had two shots and got fucked up. and he drunk it straight up. you're supposed to mix that with some kind of juice or something, but he drunk it straight up. so i'm gonna have to get a bottle of that. and then i'm gonna get some of that dooby dooby doo. gonna smoke a nice joint. i smoked a joint once with xxxxxx and after i went to bed that night, i woke up and felt soooo thirsty. i went to the fridge and drunk two whole cans of soda. i hadn't been that thirsty in my life. the next day, i told xxxxxx that i had woken up in the middle of the night and drank two whole cans of soda and xxxxxx told me: "me too! i woke up and was soo thirsty, i drank these two two cans of soda that was by my bed." so apparently, it had something to do with the weed. anyway, come the end of next week, i get to cut loose. me and torrey are talking about getting a room. (just to chill in though, don't get it twisted). we're thinking about getting one for a couple of days and just wholing up in it and just relaxin. i want to go to one that has a pool and a jacuzzi though. but the thing with jacuzzis is, they usually have a ton of different bacteria. there are soo many different kinds of bacteria that live in jacuzzi water, it really is gross. you can catch so many different things from them, no matter how much chlorine they put in it. if i ever get into a jacuzzi, it'll be my own personal jacuzzi. you can get all kinds of skin diseases and rashes from jacuzzi water.

ever since i started studying all this biology, you see life in a different way. science is soo interesting. things that you never thought of before, you start looking at differently.

anyways, i gotta do something to this room. i'll holla.

jenny "we should be guiding his cock, not blocking it" jenn jenn

tomorrow is my b-day. i'm excited. i'll be 24. but when my birthday hits at midnight tonight, i'll be at work. how wack. i don't want to be at work, but it is what it is. but tomorrow when i get out of class, later that night vickey is gonna take me (and torrey) to some comedy club. it's gonna be fun.

i have been getting zero sleep lately. this is the toughest semester ever. i cannot wait until next week. it'll be sooo chillaxed. these past two weeks, i had eight papers due, five final exams, one in course exam, a lab notebook due...it's too "mauch". lol, i gotta bring that one back. gotta resurrect it.

i haven't been getting any sleep and apparently any food. i've been losing a lot of weight lately. if i keep this up, i'll be in the mid 90s by the end of may. i've always wanted to see if i can get under 100 lbs and it looks like i might. i just haven't had the time to eat lately. i've been waay too tired to eat.

anyways, my cousin is trying to set up a family reunion in september. should be interesting. i'm excited about it cause i don't really now my family and plus, i need a trip to florida. i haven't seen my mom in years. i keep telling her that i'll be down there soon, but i'm just too busy. but once they pick a date, i'm gonna try to drive down with sam and josh. we'll see. i'm supposed to have family in atlanta already, but i have no idea who they are.

so me and torrey are back together. i mean, come on...i'm me! what idiot wouldn't want to stick around?

i watch superbad at least three times a week. i have a problem.

ok. well i'm gonna try to squeeze in two hours of sleep before i have to go in to work. peace out.

jenny "fuck it. they should be sucking on my ballsack" jenn jenn

so i was thinking...this picture looks really familiar to me. i mean, it's me, but i think i've seen it somewhere else before.





and then it finally hit me yesterday, i know exactly where i saw this picture before.





and i actually took 30 minutes from study for tomorrow's orgo test to do this. lol, how wack.

jenny "then i'll cut off your stupid fucking face, throw it over mine, then by the alcohol myself!" jenn jenn