the 'S S Express'. goodness gracious. i really didn't need to hear about that tonight. i was very disappointed and disgusted with this person. but whatever man, i'm 100% over it now. i'm actually glad that i heard it now. that just put me in a bad mood and i'll probably stay in a bad mood for the rest of the month now too; great. anyways, i talked to leniqua and lawrence today on the phone for like two hours. it was fun. we are all so funny together. it makes me wanna go to chapel hill with them next year ya know? i'm gonna miss those two and all of their sexual tension. don't you just hate sexual tension? especially when you're with two people who have sexual tension and then the sexual tension like enters your body and makes you feel all weird. i don't know, maybe it's just me. but i hope their sexual tension boils into at least a small kiss or something. no, not a small kiss, a really big wet kiss. that's what i want from them within the next month and a half. just that one small thing. and speaking of kissing, i'm really starting to miss the physical interactions that a relationship is supposed to provide. something that i'm supposed to be getting everyday, i'm getting only like every 6 or 8 months. that's really not cool. i'm getting lonely. and then i'm gonna be in college in atlanta and that's gonna make it even harder for me to have that...but whatever, hopefully something good will work out in my life. ok, what else...? wow, the 'S S Express'. i will not get over that. but moving right along. i hadn't talked to lamar for a while. i guess he's been tired or partying, one. i don't know. i kinda think he may have an attitude with me for some reason, but i don't know what for. it's all good though. oh, so i finally bought the prom dress with the no straps and my small boobs. but i'm gonna get it altered to fit my body ya know so i can look 'tight' in it. oh yeah man! um...but other than that...my life is pretty much dull. nothing new, nothing special--except for the 'S S Express'. i think that's gonna be my new permanent title for this blog thing. oh, and what in the world does a guy do with a hand vaccuum under his bed? more particualarlly, what does a guy do with a hand vaccuum under his bed...AT NIGHT???? think about it. i asked lawrence and he acted like he didn't know, but i know. he was just being shy, but whatever. ok, well i'm gonna go to sleep now and try to get the 'S S Express' out of my head. ok then. bye bye for now.

-Jenn

i am almost out of high school. thank god! i 'F'-ing hate charlotte. i can't wait to get the 'H' out of here. sure, i'm gonna miss the some people, but i just wouldn't be able to stand living here knowing that i didn't have to and that i could be living somewhere else. the only good things i got from charlotte were lamar, leniqua and some other friends like brim, lang, and everybody else, and medical science and HOSA and HOSA bowl. other than that, i hate this town so much. if i had to live here for the rest of my life, i would just kill myself, no joke. i can't wait to go home to atlanta. the people, the music, the city, the atmosphere and environment...i just love it. one of the first things i'm gonna do when i get there is that i'm gonna get my best friend riche and we're gonna go down to the mcdonalds in the wal-mart in jonesboro (town next to riverdale, atlanta, where i used to live) and curse out that stupid 'A' hole Leonard Daniel Neely. i want to know why he dumped me really and if him and that other girl are still going out. that kind of thing just really 'P's me off. i cannot believe he dumped me for my 'friend'. whatever though. i'm over it now, but i'm still mad about it. we had been going out for seven months and he went and did something stupid like that. he supposedly loved me or whatever and he goes and does that. maybe he was just mad cause i never told him that i loved him back. he would tell me 'i love you' then i'd be like 'ok', but whatever. it wasn't worth anything. i've moved on to bigger and better things. oh, so i looked at the dress that i'm getting today for prom, but i didn't get it yet. it's baby blue and tight at the top and not so tight at the bottom and strapless. now if you don't know already, i do not trust strapless dresses. i'm not a really big chested girl (but i hold my own) so i don't trust my breasts supporting a dress on my chest, ya know what i mean? maybe i should get some implants when i'm a little older, but nah, i'm prefectly happy with myself. besides, they'll get a cup size bigger after i have my first child, so i'm good till then. i have great small boobs for my body by the way...i thought i'd just throw that in there. i haven't had any complaints yet. but anyway, oh darnell jefferson is a genius. he can look at a girl (i guess at their chests) and tell them what their bra size is. he's a prodigy. i didn't believe that he could do it at first until he guessed mine right, then i became a believer. but moving along...i haven't heard from my 'buddy' justin today. i'm getting worried about him. casey hadn't heard from him either. freaky. ok, that's it. i'm gonna go do something meaningless now. bye bye.

-Jenn

finally, i'm back. it's been about a week and i'm finally back on the ball. we went to greensboro and we actually got second place. i swear to god, we went in there trying not to pass the test cause we wanted to spend all saturday shopping. we were the first ones done and we ended up being in one of the top five finalists. we went on to the next round...not even knowing what the next round was all about and got the rules and instructions 15 minutes before we started and we went in there, still clueless, and got second place. now that's good. if we had known what was going on and studied and took our time, we would have hands down got first, but oh well, i'm happy with second. we each (me, leniqua, and casey perrill) got a $750 scholarship for our 2nd place win to this one school that i'm not going to, so it doesn't even matter. but anyways, us three girls had a great time. i had to sleep with ms. bland cause casey and leniqua didn't want to sleep with her, but i didn't mind. so there were two dances. the first one, me and leniqua and casey went for a while. it was pretty lame. no one was dancing. me and leniqua did hit that running man though, so that was cool. and we did the cha cha slide twice. that was fun too. then on the way to our hotel room, we met justin in the elevator. leniqua said something to him first, asked his name, and then he turned and asked her name and then my name. casey invited him and his three friends back to our room. there was a little flirting between leniqua and me and him and his friends. casey wasn't getting any attention, so she went into the room and left us out in the hall alone. we talked for a while and justin told me and leniqua and casey to go to his room later that night and i said maybe, if we have time. so he said to come over tomorrow and that he'd call us later that night, so we said ok then they left and we went in the room. later that night, like at 1 and 2 in the morning, justin kept calling wanting to talk to me. so i talked for a little bit, then after that, he kept calling and i just got too tired, so leniqua and casey talked to him. that next day, we finished our competition, went by justin's room, picked him up, went to the mall, then went back to our room for the rest of the day. he kept offering to buy me stuff at the mall, but i was like, that's ok. he only wears polo shirts by the way. and he's so tall. like 6'2 or 6'3. very tall. so after the mall, we all went back to our room and just chilled for a few hours. justin kept staring at me which was really freaky. casey noticed it too and picked on me about it later, but it's all good. he kept trying to put his hands on me and touch me. but anyway, after that, we had to get ready for the awards ceremony, so he had to leave. we all got ready and met him downstairs. his school was gonna leave after the awards ceremony, so we all exchanged email addresses and phone numbers, except me...i just exchanged my email address. but anyway, we took a few pictures with him and hugged him goodbye. he hugged me the longest and didn't want to let go, so that was kinda weird. oh, and something else funny that happened. he had given leniqua this mixed cd of 'slow jams'. i was like, 'what about me'? and then he tried to take the cd out of leniqua's hands and give it to me. casey was laughing so hard, it was so funny. leniqua got kinda mad i saw. it was all in fun though. he's supposed to be making me one and then sending it to me. so at the awards ceremony, they have this camera that they pan across the guests and zoom in on people and stuff before the whole thing starts. so me and casey made this sign that said, 'SINGLE, RM# 2481 (CALL US)". we made it in really thick black marker letters and when the camera lady saw that, she zoomed in on it and everyone (over 2000 people) saw it and just busted out laughing. i was the one holding it up and i could not stop laughing after that. of course no one called us, but it was a really good laugh for us all. so we went to outback after that then went to our room and packed, then went to bed. we left the next morning and now i'm home and bored. maybe i'll go clean my room now. oh yeah, the big slumber party with leniqua for friday has been canceled if not postponed. she got into a fight with her brother, now we can't go. that's cool. next time. ok then, that's it and i'm out.

-Jenn