my new favorite song for the moment. they sound so much better when they do it live like this.

i'm back from my spring break. i didn't hang out with any dudes this time. i had fun. i got caught up on a lot of homework, but it was still relaxing. torrey specifically asked if i was gonna see mitch. it was funny when he asked me that cause he knows me. he didn't even ask if i was gonna see my ex. he's asking me about some other dude. but regardless, i didn't see any dude.

i hung out with sam most of the time. she got into georgia state. she's waiting to hear from uga in april. if she ends up not being able to pay for uga, her first choice, she's gonna go to georgia state then transfer after she saves up for uga. whatever she decides to do, i'm happy for her. she graduates in june, but i'm not even sure if i can go cause i'll be in summer school. i'm taking five classes this summer and five this fall and then i get to graduate! i'm a G, yes. if she goes to georgia state, vickey wants to get a bunk bed put in my room for us. i don't know. i cannot be a 24 year old living with my stepmom and sleeping in a bunk bed in the same room as my 18 year old sister. i realize it won't be for that long, but i don't know. i'm used to having my own place, my own space. i miss that.

when i was in charlotte, i went by my old apartment complex. someone was living in my old apartment. they had stuff all out on the balcony. i had some really really fond memories in charlotte. i went by my old job, which they shut down. it was weird seeing that. seeing all this old stuff, all my old hang out spots, i started thinking...how would my life be like if i had stayed in charlotte? i asked before lamar before i moved to atlanta if he thought i should go, and he told me, 'yeah.' he didn't even try to get me to stay. i could have just as very easily went to unc charlotte, but this douche bag could not care less if i went or stayed. i know had it been torrey and we were both living in charlotte, he would have fought for me to stay. instead, lamar was into having a sexual relationship with god knows who and wasn't putting OUR best interests to mind. but anyway, i won't go there. i know, i already did. but, i could have went to unc charlotte, gotten a job somewhere else, still been near sam and my dad. i know that had lamar fought for me to stay at least just a little bit, i would have stayed. i would never have come to atlanta, would never have met torrey, so i guess i'm grateful for it. i guess things really do work out for the best.

so as you can see, i did a lot of reminiscing when i was in charlotte. i'm glad i still had the sense not to call my ex, cause at a few points, i felt like i really wanted to, but i knew that it wasn't a good idea. i thought about him a lot though when i was in charlotte, but when i got home, it was like...'lamar who?'. it went like this...when i got there, i was really missing torrey. towards the middle of the week after i was hanging around charlotte, around where i used to always be, i started thinking of lamar and what we had. towards the end of the week when i realized i was going home, my attentions went back to torrey. but i'm glad to be back home with my boo. even though i went to all my old spots, they didn't feel like home to me anymore...atlanta did. i was so happy to be back in my room. it just feels like home to me. i've been gone from charlotte from almost two years now (it'll be two years in august) and it definitely has felt like two years. longer even. but i'm excited about the future and finishing up school. i'm excited about what's going to happen next.

i'm supposed to be taking my MCATS on august 6 and torrey is supposed to take his GRE on august 5. so we both have huge, life changing tests coming up in the next few months.

i'm gonna be 24 in about two months. i feel so different. i actually feel like a 24 year old. i was looking at some old high school pictures and i was just like...wow. it wasn't pretty. but i've grown. i was at rave in the mall the other day in charlotte and the cashier asked me and sam what grade we were in. sam was like, 'i'm a senior'. and i was like, 'yeah, i'm 24.' and she was so surprised. she was like, 'wow, well you look good then.' i cannot tell you how annoying that is right now, but when i actually get in my 30s, it's gonna be great. cause while all these girls now look their age, they're really gonna be looking their age in about ten years. i guess that whole, 'you're gonna look like your mother' thing is out the window for me. my mom looks older than her age, and i'm just the opposite.

anyway, enough about that. i'm talking about all kinds of stuff. i haven't blogged in about a month. i just had so many exams right before spring break. i had papers due and this and that. then i had spring break. now i'm home and back on my grind.

i'm gonna go study some orgo now, so i'll holla. i gotta head to work in a couple hours. they've given me more hours at work. i work on monday nights and tuesday nights too now from midnight to 3 am. that's an extra 6 hours a week. it's not a lot, but its enough. bank of america employees get awesome benefits and discounts too. i get a 23% discount on my spring bill every month which is tres' sweet. but anyway, i'm gonna go watch 'i love money 2' and study some orgo. peace out snitches.

jenny "fuck no man! i hate becca" jenn jenn

i cannot get this song out of my head.