this made me feel so much better.

so, i've decided, to stay celibate/abstinent/virgin for a long time. fuck, it's not the end of the world if i don't have sex. there are plenty of 22 year olds and older who don't do it. an ex boyfriend of mine is about to be 23 and he's still a virgin. i'm not gonna fall into the pressure of guys begging me for it. fuck that. and if that means i have to be by myself, well what - the - fuck - ever!

i'm getting tired of engaging in these sexual activities. i'm done. i'm officially waiting for marriage. i thought about giving it up in the past and recently, but naah! i'm better than that. i'm gonna finish undergrad, go to med school, and just do me.

i'm starting to feel, too, that i shouldn't have jumped myself into this relationship that i'm in now. i've been really wanting to be single recently and i have no idea why. i don't need to be in another long term relationship. me and torrey are going on four months now. i need to start setting relationship limits for myself, or just not date at all. i need to do me for a while. i've been in long term relationship after long term relationship. i'm coming to realize that i'm not a long term relationship type of girl. maybe i'll just stay single until i can figure out what i need.

and fuck this blog.

i really had trouble getting up this morning. i only got a little under three hours last night. and the night before that, i only got about 4 hours. so in the past two days, i've gotten less than 7 hours of sleep. i will be going to starbucks this morning. or saxby's. that's opening on campus this morning. all students and faculty get a free cup today.

i have this bio quiz this morning. i'm really prepared this time. i've found that making flash cards is extremely helpful. i used to think that i wouldn't be one of those lame asses that didn't do that, but i guess i am now.

i think torrey is one of the most understanding boyfriends a girl could get. i told him that i was mad about something lamar had told me and he was so understanding and comforting to me. i was mad and sad for like two days, but he kept trying to make me laugh and make me smile and telling me that it was all ok. most dudes would have gotten ticked off that i was thinking about my ex. but he's cool. i guess i'll keep him.

getting straight a's this semester is not looking completely impossible right now. in fact, it looks very likely.

i was looking at the university of new mexico website and to be accepted into their med school, they don't require any maths!!! dunh dunh dunh!!! that means, i don't really have to talk calculus. but i will anyway. besides, i might not even get into UNM. but that's definitly my first choice. i really want to move away from everyone i know and start fresh. but the thing is, they don't accept many out of state students. they usually only take about 75 med school students a year and 97% of those are from in state. i guess i could be in that few 3%. but most of that 3% come from students that live around new mexico or have parents that live in new mexico. that really sucks, but i'm gonna apply anyway. i gotta see if there are any other med schools in new mexico.

i really need to look into doing my volunteer hours and research hours really soon if i want to get into a good med school. i don't have much time left here in georgia state.

four weeks until the gavin degraw concert...28 days. the countdown begins.

ok, TTFN (vickey loves saying this now, it is so annoying).
jenny

oh yeah, i forgot.

so i bought my gavin degraw tickets the exact second they went on sale. so i was looking on ebay to see if they would have jacked up prices for tickets on there. so i looked...and they did. and a lot of these sellers were selling the tickets for up to about $179 for two tickets. the damn tickets were only $26.50 each. and at most places, they weren't even sold out, as the sellers were claiming. i hope the idiots on ebay check ticketmaster before they get chumped out like that. that is such a rip off.

anyway, there's this bid on charitybuzz.com for two front row tickets to a gavin degraw concert and a one on one piano lesson from him. the auction ends in eight days and only one person has bid so far and she bid $1000. i think i'm gonna try for it. i'm gonna end up spending up my summer tuition money, but i think it might be worth it. hell, i'll find the money from somewhere. but i won't bid over $1500, i had to set a limit for myself, or i'll get greedy with lust for this dude and blow all my money.

but hopefully i won't win so i can actually stick with this schedule that i have and take the 5 classes that i planned on taking this summer. if they had winter sessions like they had summer sessions, i could be graduating at the end of this year i think. how lame.

ok, i think i'm done for real this time.

jenny "love whore" jenn jenn

i miss darnell. he kinda just dropped me after me and torrey started dating, but i really miss him. he made me laugh. and he cared about me. i haven't talked to him in three months.

the thing about torrey is, he doesn't laugh at all of my jokes. and i think i'm pretty funny. he laughs at most of them, but not nearly enough as i want him to. but whatever!

and i keep finding these hairs, white girl hairs, in his bed sheets. and not even one or two, but several.

all guys are dogs, but i can't do anything about it anymore, so i might as well embrace it.

ok, i'm done talking nonsense.

love,
jennifer aka "mikey's girl"

i love my brothers...all of them.

they know how to treat a lady...or their sister anyway.

if i don't graduate at the end of next year, i'll kill myself. or at least by spring '10. if i didn't take those 3 or 4 classes that i already had credit for, i could be graduating next spring. i'm such a dumbass sometimes.

i can't wait to go to med school. i'm leaning more towards new mexico than morehouse. we'll see.

jenny

i'm slowly losing the battle with my addition to coffee.

damn you Starbucks and your rich, smooth blends of mild Colombian coffee, my favorite. and your espresso brownies and rice krispie cakes and chocolate loafs.

and damn me for buying a jar of folgers colombian blend coffee so now i can drink a cup every morning before i go out.

i have a problem now, i know it.

i need a venti cup right now.

jenny

my glasses broke yesterday. i went and spent last night with torrey and when i went back to his room after my labs today, he had fixed them for me. he is so sweet.

anyways, i'm gonna go study for this chemistry exam for tomorrow. peace out.

jenny

torrey found out about my blog...dunh dunh dunh!