geeze my head itches so bad. i have another month though with these braids.

well here's my plans for december:

• ace all my finals
• go to florida for a week after finals
• come back and hang with sam in atlanta for three weeks
• take these damn braids out
• find something to do for new years

i think i already said i'm taking chem, physics, and bio next semester and like three other classes.

we finally got the keys to the house. we're moving in today. now torrey can start hanging out where i stay instead of me always going to his cold dorm. why do dudes keep their dorms so dirty? its a guy thing i guess. i mean, just the bathroom and kitchen are usually a little dirty.

anyways, i have some resolutions for next year:

• don't call or talk to lamar
• lose like ten pounds (that's every year)
• eat right (every year too)
• do really well in all of my classes
• finally sign up to volunteer at grady
• find some research in bio to sign up for
• finish the year off as a second semester junior
• HAVE SEX

yeah, '08 is gonna be my year for sex. hopefully.

well i guess that's it. i guess i should go study for my ACS exam. peace out.

jenn

i have finals in two weeks and i am not looking forward to my physics final or my chem final. but mostly the physics final. physics is so damn tough.

nobody ever told me that they masturbated to the thought of having sex with me before. that was really interesting.

i've been rethinking this sex thing. i started really thinking, "do i want this guy's penis in me?". and i don't think i'm ready for all that yet. being naked and sticking a part of his body into mine? no, i'm definitely not ready for that. i thought i was, but i'm not so sure anymore. but i need to get on the ball. i'm b-s-ing is what i'm doing. oh man, i really have issues. why am i having such a hard time giving it up? i really really really wish it was as easy for me as it is for most everyone else. my life would be a hell of a lot different if it were. but some people can't help what they've been through. can't change anything. i think that if i just give in that first time, i'll be good. i mean, i get wet when torrey kisses me know and there's a lot of touching and rubbing and caressing and all that good stuff, but when his hands drift below my waist, it makes me so so so uncomfortable. and it kind of turns me off. and that's a serious problem. i mean, he can touch my ass all he wants, but i don't want my tids and bits handled. lol, that's funny.

anyway, but i don't think he's going anywhere. i think he's pretty into me. every single guy that i've liked since the 11th grade has been into me too. i can get any guy i want now. before the 11th grade, i guess i was some kind of monster. i never ever ever could get a guy that i liked. i mean, i could get guys, just not the ones i wanted. but i don't have that problem anymore...thank god. so torrey saw me, stalked me, wanted me, and finally approached me. i liked what i saw and gave in to it. and i think in the beginning, i gave in because he was really cute and i wanted to show myself that i could move on from lamar, but now, i'm really starting to have feelings for this dude. it's so much fun. i've been hanging out with him every single day lately, i'm not even joking. we've been spending tons of time together. he always makes sure i have something to eat whenever i come over. he always cooks for me and i love that.

obviously i'm really bored right now. i'm writing all of this when i need to be studying for my finals and finishing up my final lab report. ok, well i'll get back to it. cya.

love,
jennifer

i'm so done with all the drama.

anyways, torrey came back friday night. he was wanting me to come over, but sam is still here and i couldn't just be rude and leave. so i'll see him today. we've been doing this dating thing for about a month now and so far so good. no fights, arguments, no problems yet. it's always good in the beginning though. but i don't see myself having any problems with him anytime soon. he called me every single day of his vacation and talked to me for at least an hour. hmm.

anyways, i can't wait to take these braids out. i think i'm gonna leave them in for a few more weeks though. they still look good and if i take them out now...i'll be wasting money. i just can't wait to come my hair and wash my hair. i could never get dreads. i only got them cause i'm trying to let my hair grow back out...so much fell out while i was stressing over my breakup with lamar. but it's coming back. it's being a little slow, but it's all coming back.

other than that, i have about another week of school left and then finals. i've already signed up for next semester's classes. i'm taking my final semester of physics, my second semester of chemistry, first semester of biology, my last semester of english class and a film class that's required. so next semester is gonna be a killer. that's another 18 hours. there's this 1 hour class that i wanted to take too, but i have to get permission first because the limit is 18 hours. i gotta remember to do that this week, i keep forgetting to fill out the form. then i'm doing 18 hours this summer. i'm trying to get done so i can go to medical school. i'm looking at three right now. the uniformed armed services medical school (or whatever its called), the university of new mexico in albuquerque or morehouse school of medicine. i'll be happy at either one. but i'd be more excited at the university of new mexico. if i move away, i'm not gonna have a long distance relationship. i'll just have to break up with whomever i'm with. i've learned my lesson about those. i should break up with torrey every time he has to go back home...like for thanksgiving and winter break and spring break and summer break.

well, that..that's about it. peace out.

jenny