i'm starting to feel like i'm being used...sexually.

some psycho the other day called me like 9-10 times, like twice an hour for about 7 hours. they would call my phone from a blocked number and when i answered the couple of times that i did, they wouldn't say anything. i was telling people about it and they were all like, "maybe it's your ex". so i text him and no, it wasn't him. so i have another dude in mind that it could be. actually another two dudes that i think it can be, but they haven't called me anymore, so i guess i'm good...for now. or it's some pyscho girlfriend of some dude who has my number and name in his phone. but whatever, i'm so over it.

gavin degraw will be mine in a little over a month. i cannot wait. pictures will be posted. he is too hott.

other than that...oh...i'm looking into doing some summer internships for biology research at morehouse school of medicine. hopefully i'll get in. i need to get all my stuff together and turn in everything by the end of next month. but the thing is, i'll be a full time student, monday - friday this summer too so hopefully everything will work out. i'm trying to graduate next year.

i'm still feeling good about med school in new mexico or at morehouse. if i get the internship at morehouse, i think that will put my foot one step closer into the door. i think my life is gonna turn out just how i want it to...career wise anyway.

other than that, everything is the same as it has been.

i was considering, again, the sex thing with torrey, but lately, i've been feeling really used.

torrey tells me that in my sleep, i rock my pelvis back and forth and breath really hard. lol, that is so funny cause i don't remember doing any of that. and he said that last night i was doing it and let out a loud moan afterwards and then my breathing got really shallow after the moan. that's so hilarious. i guess since i'm not having sex in real life, that my body, my brain is giving me dreams about having sex to tell me "hey, you need to get on it". but the thing is, i don't remember these dreams or even doing the thrusting or heavy breathing or moaning. it's so weird. he says i don't do it all the time, but pretty often.

WHATEVER!

another thing is, i told torrey that if gavin decided to choose me as his groupie for the night, that i would readily go. he did not like that at all. he got so pissed. he was like, "if that happened, and you went...we're through" and then he started acting all pissed off for the rest of the night. it was so cute, but would i really give him up for one night with gavin? HELL YEAH! i don't give a damn. that's a once in a lifetime chance. i want that man is so many ways. i'd let him do whatever the hell he wanted to do to me. it would be so dirty. but so great.

i'm thinking about cutting my hair. one of those really low cuts. not like a dude cut, but a cute, short, pixie, halle berry back in the day cut, but a little longer than what she used to have. not a bob, but an all around short cut. and then dying it dark jet black. hmm. i'm considering a cut. we'll see how it goes.

school is going really great so far. i'm making so many friends at georgia state. but they're all...surprise surprise...dudes. all but two are dudes. and they're not even all just black dudes. i think i have like one or two black dude friends at georgia state. the rest are asian, indian, south american, exotic shit like that. it's cool. and they are really cool dudes too.

so i guess that's it for me. i'll holla peeps.

love, jennifer

february 27, 2008.

I'M GONNA GO SEE GAVIN DEGRAW!!!!

i am so excited. this union is about three - four years in the making. i bought two tickets this morning when they went on sale at 10 am. i'm pretty sure i was the first one to buy tickets for atlanta. i don't know who's coming with me yet. i don't want to bring torrey in case i want to throw myself at gavin. oh crap, i have to go get a hot dress, some heels, my nails done, my hair and makeup done, it will be hot. i will be hot. me and gavin will be hot. and hopefully i can win some meet-and-greet backstage passes. i will remember to bring the camera and to charge up the batteries. and in case that wants to act up, i better bring a regular camera.

since i bought my tickets first, i should be getting some prime seats. this will be the best night of my life.

ok, enough about that. school started back up. it's going pretty good so far. i'm predicting straight A's this semester. crossing my fingers.

torrey and me are really good. we've been dating for about three months now. it's a really beautiful thing. not a single problem yet. i think this one is gonna make it.

i should be graduating at the end of next year. if i plan out my schedule right, i can finish as early as the end of next year. i am such a G.

so i'm into the Cool Kids now. they're an indie hip hop group, but its not really hip hop. it's like rock hip hop. i like it. it's two dudes, mikey and chuck and mikey is really cute. but gavin still holds #1 in my heart. i have "black mags" by the Cool Kids on my myspace page, but i'll probably switch it over to a gavin song real soon. gotta represent.

i cannot wait until february.

ok, peace out.

jenny