So i graduated last monday (Dec. 14) and i finally got accepted into GSU's masters bio program. I'm good right now. I plan on posting some grad pics soon. Later

on a good note: i graduate in three days (monday!!!)

on a bad note: i got DFACSS called on me (social services)...long story. they want to meet with me and talk to me...coincidently this is supposed to happen on monday too (yeah, the same monday i'm graduating) but guess what bitch??? DFACSS ain't gonna be seeing me monday! i got more important shit going on. my family is gonna be here and i am gonna be looking forward to graduating so oh well for them, they're just S-O-L. i'm gonna have to catch up with them next time.

my mom or my brothers aren't coming anymore. that's another long story. i think only my brother josh is coming...if even that. and my cousin mane and her two kids and my dad and mattie. those are the only definites that are coming. ain't that sad?? and i invited soo many more people. whatevs. i have never asked my mother for anything in my almost 25 years on this earth, except to come to my graduation. i will never ask her for anything again.

but overall, i feel good.

ttyl
-jenn

I hate the sound of two people having sex in the next room. When i'm lying in bed with my boyfriend, its like 'Ha, listen to what you're not getting.' :(

yoooooooo!!!!! it's ya baby girl jenn! lol.

whaddup y'all. so there's been a lot going on. me and torrey decided to see other people and when i see me and torrey, i mean me. me and torrey were lacking something, so i wanted to try something new.

so having said that...i've been talking to this dude. the one i was talking about before. he's riche's boyfriend's best friend. so, i don't want to talk about a lot of details cause i know torrey still reads my blog and he just don't need to know all that.

so on our second date, we go to see 2012. he had already seen it, but he knew that i wanted to see it, so he decided to see it again. that was sweet. and he actually opens the door for me when i get in and get out. that's sweet too. this guy is weird cause he talks like a white dude, but he dresses and acts like a black dude. and not just a black dude, but a nigga...lol. at times anyway. he can be kinda thuggy. so we go see 2012 and then afterward, we were gonna go get something to eat. but we pass by this strip club and he says this is the one he and riche's boyfriend always go to and if i had ever been. i said no, but that i had always wanted to go. so we go!!!

all i can say is..."oh my sweet jesus". i could not believe what was happening. so we go in and immediately, i see ass, titties, thighs, hips. we went to a black strip club in decatur called pinups. this was actually the one me and torrey passed by a lot when he lived in clarkston and we had talked about going to on numerous occassions. so me and this dude go. his name is lance. so me and lance go in and theres ass and titties everywhere. i go to the bar, get a martini so i can get some singles for the girls, and we go and sit down near the stage. we just see all these thick black girls walking by naked. and he tells me that we can get lap dances that last for one song for $5. so during the night, we both get SEVERAL lap dances. oh my god! it was crazy. i loved it! the first girl that danced on me was kinda wack. she kept smiling at me and bending over and putting her ass all in my face. it was kinda freaky. when the first girl was dancing on me, i was the only chick in the club getting a lap dance and the dj was talking about us and making comments. i forgot what he said, but he was soooo funny. he was making funny comments all night. but i really liked the second girl cause she was interactive. she was dancing on me and touching me. she was grabbing my ass and touching my breasts and was stroking my hoo-hoo. it was so much fun though. they were definitely giving me more with my lap dances than with lance. you're not supposed to touch them, but they didn't really care. i smacked one girl's ass. lol, oh my god, i will never forget that. it was definitely an experience.

i will definitely be doing that again. i was all tipsy when i left and just smelling like cigarette smoke all over. there was this one indian dude in there that was getting a lap dance and this black dude was bent over in front of him and he was just feeling on her hips and thicks and staring at her ass. it was hilarious. there were so many creeps in there. one dude was getting this lap dance for well over an hour from the same girl. that was funny too.

so i don't like going to a club club, but i do enjoy the strip club. that's gonna be my new thing to do.

ok, that's enough of that. there's this dude in my applied micro class that's 35 and 6'6 that likes me. i'm 5'3, so whenever we walk next to each other...it's a sight to see. he can see every part of the top of my head. it's cute. i like tall dudes. we go to starbucks together sometimes and its always weird for me walking next to him cause he's so tall.

but i'm enjoying this dating around thing. i'm definitely looking for anything serious at all. i'm just having a good time doing what i do.

torrey thinks he's so slick. he went out with some girl twice and didn't tell me so i would feel guilty about going out. i didn't find out till a couple of days ago that he's been trying to talk to other girls when he made it seem like he wasn't. so i'm not gonna share stuff with him, and i'm not really gonna write about much here, but i'm gonna have fun. torrey started this blog saying he wasn't really heartbroken about us breaking up or stressing over it when i've seen the exact opposite of that. but whatever, i'm not gonna stress over him. i'm 24 and i'm gonna act like a 24 year old.

ok, well i'm done for now. i'll ttyl.

jenny

So i will be taking a break from blogging for a while as i go through some personal changes. Peace out.

This funk definitely has something to do with my failed attempt at...FML.

I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm unhappy. I feel like crap. I'm hopeless. I deserve more. I want more. I'm in need. I'm missing something. Fuck--now i'm sleepy. Bye.

I feel so hopeless and depressed right now. I just feel like shit.

so i thought i was gonna do it. i was talking a lot of shit. i had psyched myself up to do it, but then when it came down to it...i was scared shitless. i lost my f-in nerve man! i can't believe it! i got in the car, i got there...all the steps were leading up to what i thought would happen, but i was just soooo scared. FML.

well like i always say, everything happens for a reason. there's this girl in my biochem class that i was just talking to about this on friday. we had this whole conversation about everything happening for a reason and it was an amazing conversation too. and just, pretty much all of my plans for this weekend had fallen through, but i can't be mad cause everything happens for a reason. there was a reason this happened or didn't happen. my time will come.

ok, having said that...i used to only attract black guys (usually dark skinned black guys at that...maybe that's where my fetish for dark skinned guys came from), but now, i get all kinds of dudes trying to holla. black, white, asian, hispanic. it's so weird. it's just like an all of a sudden thing too. everybody wants a piece and who am i to deny that to anybody. ok, so this is the order of guys now that try to holla:

1) black
2) asian
3) white
4) hispanic
5) other

so i think it's pretty interesting that asian dudes are #2 on that list. and i think it's even more interesting that hispanics came in under whites on the list. and even more interesting, waaaayy more light skinned dudes try to holla than dark skinned dudes now. it used to be the reverse of that, but not anymore. if i could change one thing about the list, it would be to have more dark skinned dudes holla, but i can't complain.

and a thing i do that i need to work on for the new year is this...ok, so i have manners and i know how to take a compliment. you know how when you're walking down the street and a dude says something like "hey beautiful, how you doin?". well when that happens, i naturally smile because, hello, i was just given a compliment. well with these dudes, they get encouraged when they see you smile and then pursue you harder. i have no interest in talking to one of those "everyday, extra-ordinary street niggas", ok! but i am a girl and i do get flattered when i'm complimented.

ok, now onto my halloween weekend. i took the weekend off from work. friday night, i actually went to Cinefest and saw "Drag Me to Hell" with Torrey. we were both on campus and i called him up and asked if he would come see it with me and so he did ;)
and so i went home and spent the next few hours cleaning. my brother josh and one of his friends was supposed to be coming up for sam's birthday, but that fell through. so me and sam went and got halloween costumes. she was a prisoner and i was amy winehouse..excuse me...amica winehouse. that was fun. on saturday, i spent the day with my friend sharon down in my old stomping grounds...riverdale/jonesboro. that was fun. we kinda just drove around all day and saw our old job (we worked together at value village in 03-04) and just reminisced all day. she took me to a friend of her's job. her friend was a lesbian and was talking about licking coochie and whatnot. it was weird, funny, it was a lot of things, but i had a good time. we went to this laundry mat in riverdale and the damn thing had an arcade, a big screen flat plasma tv, a pool table (only in riverdale). this short dark skinned dude tried to holla. i love my dark skinned dudes, but i don't love short ones. and so we went to ihop and we went to the dollar movies. i used to go to the dollar movies in fayetteville every weekend with sam. yesterday definitely brought back memories.

and so after that is when i dared to do what i thought i was gonna do. but as i already said...that didn't work out. i was supposed to go to riche's party and that didn't work out either. i still dressed up though. that was fun, and i was looking hot.

ok, well time to go clean and then study. ttyl bitches.

jenny jenn jenn

Am i really about to do what i think i'm about to do???? I think i am.

Normally, i would be at work right now, but i'm walking around downtown atlanta all alone trying to find some trouble to get into.

so here's the thing. i want to start dating other guys. i'm single now. i've been single for a while. me and torrey really started having problems i think starting this past summer, so i've basically been single since then.

but the thing is, i can't stop thinking about torrey. i don't think we're gonna work out in the end. we're just on two totally different pages and i don't want to put time and energy into something that won't work out in the end, but i can't stop thinking about him.

on another note, i was walking into work saturday night and there's this guy lying on a couch in the lounge. as soon as i walk in, he woke up and i asked him if he had a good nap. then he tells me to come here for a sec. he had seen me in the break room a few weeks back and wanted to talk to me but didn't get a chance. anyway, he's 31 and he gave me his number. he wants me to call him so he can take me out. he said we could just try one date and if i didn't like it, well at least i'd get a free meal out of it. and i've always been talking about getting together with an older man (finally!). but i don't know about that. i don't even know the dude. we'll see.

and there's this guy riche is trying to hook me up with. he's befriended me on facebook and struck up a introduction and a conversation with me. that's cool.

and then, well, i won't go on.

but the thing is, i can't stop thinking about torrey. but i must move on. but i'll feel kinda bad about moving on cause i know torrey is still in love with me and he's not moving on just yet. so, i don't know, should i put off with dating someone new until he starts dating someone new since i am the one who broke things off? that would be the right thing to do right?

and then i feel like it's not gonna work out with me and some other dude and by the time i realize that i need to be with torrey, he'll have already moved on.

anyway...ok, good night.

-jenny "hold him jimmy's brother" jenn jenn

Oh my god! The most glorious idea just came to me. I'm gonna make pot brownies next weekend! Oh thats gonna be so sweet. I don't have to work either...YES!

so i didn't make it to riche's game night cause i couldn't get off work. it was last friday night and i was supposed to meet that guy there. not like meet up with him or anything, just meet him for the first time. so since i didn't, i guess he's taking the iniative and requested my friendship on facebook. now, i've never talked to this dude, this whole thing was to be set up by riche.

so he finally put up pictures of himself and...he's ok.

pro: he has green eyes
con: he's light skinned

pro: i get to kiss someone new
con: i get to kiss someone new

pro: he's cute and has a great smile
con: he's a year and a half younger than me

so am i gonna go there? who knows. i think the most amount of time i've spent in between relationships is about two months. of course, i want it to be a lot longer this time around, but who know's how it'll all turn out.

i feel like in my relationship with torrey, i felt like the dude who was kinda like "whatevs" about the whole relationship and he was the girl who was always all emotional and feeling. i don't know, that's how i've felt in all of my relationships...more or less.

but i kind of do want to move on though. i can date around, i don't have to be serious with anyone. and this dude seems...experienced (sexually). so that's probably all it would end up being anyway. i wonder if riche even told him about my situation. actually, i wouldn't mind being with a few different guys. nothing long or serious. just having fun. i like the sound of that.

oh, so i found out that i'm graduating cum laude. it's not magnum or summa, but i'll take it. i got a 'c' in orgo 2 and a "c+' in calculus, so that's not bad. maybe i'll retake those two classes after i graduate to wipe those ugly things from my record. 'c's are for losers. and i ain't a loser. i'm a winner baby. i'm on my way to the top.

so i need to do two of my life goals...or start working on them anyways. i want to run a marathon and i want to go to an open mic and just freestyle. i need to start doing some research about what marathon i can run in and start training and i need to up my lyrical skills so i can go up on stage with my ish. i'm thinking i'll finish the marathon thing before the rapping thing. those are two so totally different goals, but hey, that's what i do boo.

i'm gonna end with my favorite song of all time. i had a quiz on facebook about me and one of the questions was: "what is my favorite song?" and of course i had a gavin degraw song as one of my choices, but guess what....WRONG!!! it ain't a gavin degraw song that's my favorite. it's this 1975 Queen song written by the lead singer Freddie Mercury who, interestingly, was actually a queen (he was gay) and he was like middle eastern or something. that kinda blew my mind. anyways, here's my favorite song of all time and the most geniously written song of all time. it's Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody".





by the way, the band 'the darkness' is like a late 90s, early 2000s knockoff of Queen. the darkness had a song out called "i believe in a thing called love" that sounded a lot like a lot of queen songs, especially like "bohemian rhapsody". i still love it though. here it is:



on that note...good night everybody. i love you. well some of you. maybe.

jenny "and take of that vest, you look like aladdin" jenn jenn

so this was my facebook status earlier this week and i got a few responses. the guys that i talked to about it won't admit it, but they know it's the truth. i asked my friend sanjay in my biochem class and he denied it too, but i know what the deal is. anyways, this was what it is:

ladies--if you are dating a guy and you two are not having sex, then you guys are JUST FRIENDS. You are NOT his girlfriend.

so i took my graduation pics...well i just needed to take some quick pics to send out with my invitations. i'm gonna take the "real" pics next month sometime when i get MY real cap and gown. i had to rent a cap and gown to use for the photos. but they did turn out really well. i'm very happy with them. i'm gonna scan and post them soon.

i registered to take the GRE next monday. i register for my first set of graduate classes tomorrow. i think i may take 5 classes in the spring. i can get this master's degree in just three semesters (spring, summer, and fall) which means i get fall of 2011 off and that summer off before i head to med school. bitchin' huh?

and since i'm graduating in less than two months, i've been thinking about this and i would really LOVE to take a week long vacation somewhere ALONE. maybe i'll go to Roswell, New Mexico. that would be so nice. actually, that would be REALLY nice. i need to look into that. a week in the desert alone in a hotel room. that would be so bitchin. i could fly out. actually, i don't care for flying anymore, so maybe i'll take a train out cause that's waaaay too long of a drive by myself. then rent a car when i'm down there and just relax.

ok, anyway, i'm going to work now. FML.

TTFN.

jenny "that's why you picked a dumb fucking fairy tale name" jenn jenn

I will say that 1 thing i didn't really like about torrey was that he wasn't a big cuddler, he needed his own space. I want a cuddler when i get serious again.

You know, this would have been the month of our 2 year anniversary. Neither one of us really knew when it started. Thats funny. It just kinda happened.

so he wants all or nothing from me. i can totally respect that, but that's not what i want anymore. i think he's pretty greedy for the all or nothing thing, but i can't be mad at what he wants. i had always been like that in relationships but now, i'm just like..."fuck the dumb shit".

jenny

so there were a lot of sweaty black girls at the gym class heroes concert and all i gotta say is:



that's right, it pretty much happened to me...kinda sorta. it was bad man. those girls were...

anyways, travis (the lead singer) kept on sweating and shaking his sweaty ass face and hair into the crowd and i got some of his damn sweat on my cheek and my f-in' lip! sam got sweat in her mouth...twice. but it was still a good show.

ok, i'm going to bed now. bye.

jenny

i mean seriously...

he wants to be in a committed, monogamous, exclusive relationship and i don't, so i guess he is wasting his time. and anyway, i have told him that i don't think he's "THE ONE" for me, which was probably a little mean, but it's just how i felt. ultimately, i don't think it'll work out in the end anyways, so whatevs...

ok, i'm done.

-jenny

i haven't blogged in several days.

i've been good. i can't complain. i bought my cap and gown. i got my invitations all set and ready to go. i'm taking some cap and gown pics tomorrow. i'm taking the GRE sometime next week (probably Thursday). I have two more months until graduation. I'm feeling good.

so here's the current situation with me and torrey. there is no situation. we had recently started hanging out again, but he seems to be tryiing to push the whole us being back in a relationship thing. but like i keep telling him, i don't want to be in a relationship like that with him right now. i mean, i enjoy hanging out, but for the first time in my life, i don't want to be in a relationship. i don't want to be exclusive. i just want to be single and play the field.

so the other day, torrey just assumed that we were together (because i had asked him about some condoms he had in his room and got mad about it). but i let him know that we weren't and he hasn't talked to me since. whatevs. like vickey LOVES to say..."fuck the dumb shit".

so torrey doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore. he told me he's tired of wasting his time. whatevs! again, "fuck the dumb shit."

ok, i'm gonna go study now. peace out.

ohhhh, i need to post the gym class heroes pictures and video soon. the show was hot.

ok, bye.

jenny

I'm at the Gym Class Heroes concert with Whyte Shads :-)

geeze, i haven't blogged in a little minute.

so you all remember back in the day when you were in elementary school and middle school and it was school picture day. well what type of background did you always get? that's right...lasers!



well here's mine. this was the third grade and ya girl was looking goofy as hell. no wonder no boys liked me, lol. i didn't get the attention of the boys til about tenth grade.

and my teeth were all jacked up. as soon as those teeth fell out, my teeth grew back in straight and perfect. looking at these pictures, looks like i must have had some type of braces along the way, but nope...i'm all natural ;)

anyways, here it is:




thank god i grew out of that mess. damn!!!

jenny "mclovin, were you just violating that young girl?" jenn jenn

I have not gone to see a movie in months. After all these exams i have in 2 weeks, i'm gonna go. Probably alone, but i'm definately going ...to see something.

two things that just ain't right:




"can you feel me inside of you?" just the way she said it was soooo creepy.


and...



lol, "put it in me scott." that just ain't right. that was such a gay oven. i didn't even know ovens came in gay.

so the thing i'm really gonna hate when torrey starts seeing somebody new is the fact that he's gonna cook for her. he's only supposed to cook for me. i've beenthinking about that lately and i'm not feeling that.

on another note...i think one of the reasons that i haven't had sex yet is cause i think i'll feel like such a dirty whore afterwards. like, i can't even imagine myself doing it. but like torrey said, there's not gonna be this magical moment where i just decide that, "hey, this is the moment. i really want to do this right now." cause that moment probably ain't gonna happen. i just need to commit to do it and let that be it. no second guessing it, no waiting on lord knows what.

it's just like, geeze louise. i'm gonna be 25 soon. that's 5 years til i'm 30. that's just unacceptable. i gotta make some changes...gotta make some things happen.

oh, and what i meant to talk about last time...
--i volunteered monday and had the best day all because of one little boy. i was at the IDP doing my volunteer thing and this little boy walks. he was like 4 or 5. so as soon as he walks in and sees me, he just smiles and waves at me. it was so cute. that was really the highlight of my day, my week even. it was nice.

ok well i'm sleepy now and i need to take a nap before work.

oh yeah, one more thing. so riche is trying to hook me up with another one of her friends. i told her that i MIGHT not be able to go to her halloween party where i'm supposed to meet this guy, so she's set up another little event at her place that she invited both of us to (and 15 other people). it's like an old school game night. scrabble, monopoly, twister ;) stuff like that. i really wanna go, but it's on a friday night. i work friday nights. i'm thinking about just going in to work late that night and going to riche's thing. it's usually slow friday nights anyways. i'm excited.

ok, ttfn.

jenny "you don't have any of your cop friends to help you keep your booze now" jenn jenn

really short guys bug me. i'm only 5'3, so whenever i see a guy my height or shorter, it bugs the crap out of me. i was walking behind this grown ass man the other day going to the train station and i could literally see the top of his head and all i could think was......



jenny "i got a boner!" jenn jenn

Off to work..... FML.

I'm jizzing in my pants for this halloween costume i'm about to get. It's gonna be hotttt!

so it's 2 in the A. M. and i'm watching the outer limits. every time the outer limits comes on, i think about lamar. i don't know how the two got mixed together. i think its cause when i was living in my apartment in charlotte, i loved watching that show. i saw like every single episode and i could not get enough of it. i don't know, i guess i equated watching that all the time with lamar always being around. cause most of our relationship had been long distance and it was finally like a "real" thing, but i guess it wasn't really the "real" thing. i can't even watch the outer limits anymore without getting bad vibes. thank goodness i've seen them all already. that's funny how our minds equate two completely irrelevant things. like, i wonder what triggers lamar to have a thought about me. it's probably when he sleeps with a new chick. lol, that's funny. it's sad, and it's funny. for me, it's the outer limits and for him, it's sex with some chick.

anyways, now i'm watching superbad and i'm going to bed. there was something i wanted to talk about, but i can't remember what it was....


oh, now i remember. ok, so we were supposed to go to new orleans for the halloween weekend but like 7 people backed out and so now the trip is cancelled. riche is gonna throw a halloween party again instead. i'm not sure if i'm going yet cause that's sam's birthday and vickey wants to throw her own halloween costume party. and i have the perfect costume that i need to go get made. it's gonna be hot. i was a hooter's girl a couple years ago, but this is definitely gonna top that.

so apparently, riche has this friend that wants to holla at me...again. lol, hey, i can't be mad at that. riche always has a friend that wants to holla at me. he's light skinned and has green eyes. first of all, i already told riche that i don't care for light skinned dudes, so that's the first strike. second of all, if it's one of riche's friends, i'm kinda skeptical about that. riche's very promiscuous so i'm assuming that this guy is the same. third of all, i just got out of my relationship with torrey and i just want to stay single for a while. but on the other hand, there are some positives to it...i get to meet a new guy. riche is the one to hook me up with daniel, and he's one of the straightest people i know. he has green eyes. that sounds so sexy. i don't know. we'll see if i show up or not. i'm excited about the possibility of kissing a new guy. i like kissing. i don't have sex, so kissing it my release you know? but i don't know how long the hand holding and kissing will go with one of riche's friends.

i swear, before this is all over, there's gonna be a long list of guys who are pissed that they didn't get to sleep with me. lol, oh well! i let every single one of them know from day one what my situation is. it's their decision to stick around and get their feelings, and mine, hurt in the end. that's exactly why i need to stay single.

i just wish there was a guy who didn't want sex...at least right now. i will never ever ever ever find that and that sucks. but that doesn't mean i can't have fun kissing guys in the mean time, in between time.

and in case you can't tell...me and torrey are still broken up.

oh, Gym Class Heroes is gonna perform at georgia state in a couple weeks and i am so excited. i have their album "as cruel as schoolchildren" on vinyl and it's blue and i love it. travis is soo cute. i can't wait to go. me and sam are gonna go see them and hundreds or thousands of other georgia state students. torrey didn't want to go. whatevs! even though we broke up, i still talk to him. we're still gonna be friends. i doubt we'll be friends though once we start seeing other people, but i like where it is now.

i'm starting to develop a crush on seth rogen. but the chubby seth rogen and not the new, fitter seth rogen.

ok, those were just a few things i had to get off my chest. now it's sleepy time.

good night.

jenny "does your mom still have any of those pizza bagels?" jenn jenn

Life is just so much better/easier when you're a pretty girl ;)

hey!

so i finished volunteering today and now i'm supposed to be heading to class in about fifteen minutes, but i think i'm not gonna go. i'll go to my second class cause i kinda have to, but i won't go to the first one. i don't feel so great. i'm cramping so bad right now. i feel so nauseous.

anyway, i heard this Live song about two weeks ago and i cannot stop thinking about it. it's really good. it was in "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" and the first time i heard it, i had to look it up. and i've been listening to it since. here it is:



ok, peace out.

jenny "he's the fastest kid alive..." jenn jenn

Ooh...and a nice, slow, deep backrub...with warm oil. Yes. Somebody needs to see that that happens ASAP.

i could really go for a foot massage right now. my foot is acting up again. :(

i think i want to take a mini-vacation to florida for about a week after i graduate. i think i've used up most of my vacation time from work though. so maybe for spring break i'll do that. sounds great. ok, bye.

ooh, i wanna go fishing. i've been wanting to go for the longest. i guess i'll go when i go to florida. i haven't seen my florida fam in the longest.

my oldest brother israel is finally getting a son. he has an adopted daughter and three biological daughters. now his wife is pregnant with a boy. so now i'll have two nephews (cj has one son) and four neices. "auntie jenny", lol. yeah right. i should be having babies too, but whatevs. it is what it is. my time will come and if it doesn't...i can always adopt.

today is alan's birthday. he's 26. daaaaang! he has four more years. we both apparently have that disease where we look waaay younger than we really are. he was telling me he gets the same kinds of comments. people don't think he's as young as me, but they still think he's younger than he is.

i realize that i have sooo much studying to do today that i'll probably be blogging off and on throughout the rest of the day cause i'm so lazy and sometimes i like to take a lot of breaks. all righty then.

ok, i'm watching the color purple now...one of my favorite movies. i'll ttyl. byyeeeee.

"it's jenny bitch"

whaddup?!

so i finally got video of that dude dancing downtown. i couldn't record for long cause i had to get for work, so i got about 1 minute and 40 seconds of it. i don't know about the quality of the video. i filmed him from across the street, so we'll have to see what it looks like after i upload it. now i gotta figure out how to upload the video to my comp.

but other than that...life is good. i had my one year anniversary at Bank of America this weekend.

if i stop f-ing around, i can have another 4.0 semester. this is my last one...as an undergrad anyway. i'll be starting as a graduate student in the spring. i'm gonna take a year and get my masters then try for med school. i just want to get some research experience before i try for med school. hopefully i'll get something within the next year or so. i can get my masters with just 40 credit hours. i figure that that's only two semesters if i really wanted to do it. i could be done with it at the end of this coming summer. theoretically, i could get two masters' before med school in fall of 2011. hmm. i think i'll just get one and then kick back before med school starts. i still don't know where i'm gonna apply. for sure though, i want to apply to morehouse, georgia school of medicine, maybe emory and maybe the military medical school up in baltimore. but some girl told me they have a military medical school in texas too...but i still think i'd like to go to maryland over texas. i already lived in texas for 6 years...i want to live somewhere new.

but yeah, i should be done with my masters by next fall. i want to take some kind of mcat prep course sometime maybe next fall too. people supposedly do better on the mcat with that kaplan mcat prep course, so i'm gonna look into it.

halloween coming up...then thanksgiving...then new years. i always say this, but i'm gonna make some changes in 2010. i'll be a college grad, i need to be out with the old, in with the new. i'm gonna be getting rid of so many things and i'm gonna try to start up so many things. i want to take that sign language class that i've always wanted to take at georgia state. i want to take that pole dancing class that i've been wanting to take for the longest time now. i'll finally have more time starting in the spring cause my course load won't be so fierce. i'll basically have five semesters to do 40 semester hours for my masters before med school, so i can be really light. i'm excited about it.

life is going good for me right now. i'm in a good mood. and that's rare when i'm single. when i'm single, i'm usually all depressed and sad and feeling worthless, but for the past week or so, i've been feeling on top of the world.

me and sam are still apartment searching. apartments are so expensive in atlanta. well the nice ones are. we've been looking for two bedroom apartments and they ain't cheap for someone who only works part time and has to pay tuition and four or five other bills.

i'm due for another gavin degraw concert. i saw gavin degraw four times (this year? last year? i don't remember). i saw him four times and chatted with him two of those times. that's my boo. as soon as he announces that he's coming back to atl, i'm on it. tickets for me and sam.

anyways, i gotta go study. peace out.

jenny "oh yeah! sounds like she fully wants it man! and who's gonna give it to her? you are! that's who." jenn jenn

Oh shit! I got him today for almost a whole 2 minutes...but i had to get to work. Damn!

This sleep i'm about to have will be orgasmic. I have a few things to say, but i'll blog about them later. 'night bitches.

I dont want to end up alone but at the same time, im not gonna settle for anything less than best/whats good for me and what will make me happy in the long run

Once again torrey and i have called it quits after 1 week of togetherness. We are just on 2 different pages sexually. It sucks, but it is what it is.

Me and riche were talking about why a guy will never admit that he cheated on you even though you've been broken up forever. They still have hope of a reunion.

i am feeling so bad today. i don't know what i ate yesterday, but whatever it was had my body all jacked up.

in other news...me and torrey are back together. surprise surprise. you know, that's just me. that's just how i do what i do.

see...i don't even give it up and i still pull 'em in. ok, so a guy gets their foot in the door with me, they find out that i don't have sex, they stick around thinking that they'll be that one to change me and if not, they'll just move on. but what always happens? i get 'em! yeah, that love bug hits 'em strong and they don't know what to do. lol. they can't get enough of my jokes, my smile, my laugh...just me. so i'm starting to think...i can have perfectly healthy sexless relationships forever. i don't ever need to have sex to have a good relationship. of course that's not gonna happen cause i DO want to eventually do it, but i don't really have to be stressing myself out about it because there's always gonna be a guy who wants to be with me whether theres sex or not.

i mean with torrey, he could have chosen to stay broken up and gone off to be with someone else who he had at least some chance of sleeping with, knowing that he wouldn't be sleeping with me. but aaahhh...guess what?! ya girl got it locked down. ;) usually it's me who tells him that i want to work on it again after a few days or a week or two. but it's been a couple months now and he hadn't heard from me, so he actually contacted me first and said he wanted us to try it again. i really wasn't excited about trying it again at all. actually, i kinda refused at first, but then he asked that we at least try it and we did and so far it's going all right.

so now i'm feeling good today. it's 9-9-09 (oooooohhhh). i spent sunday and monday with torrey for the most part. i went to his place after i got off work sunday and slept over there then we just hung out for the rest of the day and then again the next day. it was good. it was nice.

ok. well gotta go. peace out.

ohhh...i finally bought Superbad on dvd today and i am sooooo excited about it.

and i forgot to talk about what happened to me the other week at my volunteer thing. i volunteer at the aids clinic right? so this guy (a regular) always hits on me and this dude was sitting there telling me about taking his meds and how he was finally starting to feel really good and this and that. well then he asked me if i had a man and that he would treat me really good and asked me if he could take me out. i'm just like...HELLO! not this time, but thank you though. i mean, this dude has AIDS and he wants to take me out. i'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. but asking a girl out means you want to eventually have some kind of intimate moment with that person and that ain't gonna work. so that was akward.

all right, ttyl.

jenny "apparantly someone has an exam" jenn jenn

so, i really love this picture of me and vickey and sam at the bowling alley a few months back. vickey has had it as her profile picture on myspace for a while. it was my profile pic for a minute. sam had it as hers for a minute.

anyway, here it is.

God forbid, but i think i'm gonna die in a car. Thats what i think.And i think that someone that i've been really close to is gonna die this year too if not me.

Ohh...i saw that dude dancing at 5 points but i had to get to work so i couldn't stop to record him. Damn! I'll get him next time though. He was hittin it too.

I'm gonna get a pedicure at some point this weekend. I've only had them a couple of times but i think i need/want one now. But other than that, life is good.

When i'm really tired like this, i just like to lie in bed with a guy and just fall asleep next to his big warm body. Guess i'll just go to bed alone this time.

Just ate a really awesome yellow apple, but i have no idea what kind it actually was. So big shout out to all those yellow apples out there...lol.

i love this pic by the way.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------->

just took a steaming hot shower. i'm feeling good and i'm heading to sleep.

it's gonna be another long ass week. but i need to make it do what it do.

i haven't called or texted torrey in days. i haven't seen him in days. i'm doing good.

-jenn jenn

damn. i've had this damn blog since i was 17 y'all! that's going on 8 years now. one day i'm gonna go back and read every single post i ever made. i've gone through a lot of changes. i've gone through jobs, cars, guys, houses, school, a lot of stuff man. i keep contemplating whether or not to get rid of this blog, but i don't have the nerve. there's just so much history in this thing. and i'd like to have a lot more history on here.

i want my marriage(s?), births, deaths, graduations, new jobs, new houses, new whatever on here. then towards the end of my life, i'll write an autobiography from it or something. or show it to my kids one day so they can see what i was going through at whatever point in my life.

ok, i gotta go take a nap. bye-bye.

-jenny

so, i was thinking....

life is sooo short. tomorrow is not promised for ANYBODY. you can be around one day all happy and healthy without a care in the world and be gone in an instant. so you really gotta do what makes you happy. you gotta go for what you like, what you love. you gotta tell the people that you love that you love them. if you want to be with someone, you need to tell them and try to get that going. if you want to be with someone, why are you wasting your time, your life doing anything besides trying to be with them? do you wait for that person to come around, but in the meantime have someone keeping your bed warm for you? i don't think so. use that extra energy that you're putting into sleeping with that random person and try to make something out of the relationship that you really want with "THE ONE", you know? because if you really want it, you can have it. you can work for it.

at the same time, life is too short for the bullshit too. you might want to be with someone or do something that makes you happy, but at what risk?

so what do you do?

*By the way, this isn't particularly about anyone, it's just a general thought i was having. I read waaaaay too many Sandra Brown and Danielle Steele books.*

-jennifer

I'm feeling really depressed again today and i have no idea why. Ok, gonna take a nap then do this biochem homework. TTYL.

I'm at work...eating chocolate cake...with buttercream! Why do people put buttercream on chocolate cake? It's too much!

heading in to work now. i slept about ten hours today and i'm still feeling tired. i don't know what's going on. i'm sooooo tired all the time now.

anyway, i'm feeling good though, besides the tiredness. good night.

-jenny

i am sooooo sleepy.

So i was sitting in orgo lab and all of a sudden, i almost choke on my lip ring. The ball in the front was mysteriously gone. IDK. Gotta go get a new one now.

lately, every single time i step on the scale, my weight just keeps going down and down. usually it goes down, then back up, then back down, then back up. but now it's going down and down and down and down.

i guess this is generally what happens when i have a breakup. i lost a lot of weight when me and lamar broke up one time (from where, i have no idea) and it looks like my body is trying to do the same thing. i think it's me and torrey's break up plus the fact that i just do not have time to eat on most days.

i have class five days a week, i work four days a week, and i volunteer three days a week. i am sooooo busy. on some nights, i only get 2.5 hours of sleep. on a good night, i can get 6 or 7 hours of sleep. but that's only like two nights a week.

i got mistaken for 15 years old the other week. the paramedics were at our house checking up on vickey and so i had to go pick up sam from the train station and when i got back they were like..."should you be driving? how old are you?" you should have seen the look i gave this woman. i stared at her for a while and then i said "i'm 24." she was like "ohhh! oh my god, i thought you were, like 15. i was gonna ask are you old enough to be driving." then she did this stupid laugh.

then today at the post office, the dude mistook me for 17. i laughed and said i was 24 and he had the same reaction as the other chick. and then another lady at the post office thought i was 16 and had the same reaction too. it does get really annoying when this happens, but i really can't be mad at it cause in about 10 years when all my peers and i are well into our 30s, i'll be all Demi Moore/Halle Berry on they asses. so i'll take it and love it.

i think that's part of the reason i like to get tattoos and piercings, to make me look older. but then i grew to love them, so....


ok! goodnight!

-jenn

so i think i'm getting better now. i was really missing torrey earlier this week, but now i think i'm good. i still miss him, but it's getting better. i miss going over to his place though and sleeping in with him on saturday and sunday mornings after i get off work.

i would get off work, go home to take a shower, then go over to his place and just get in the bed with him and snuggle up with him until i fell asleep. he would let me stay in bed and sleep while he got up after a while and did homework or whatever. i think i miss that the most right now.

but i'm about to get my own place (well, me and sam) and so i'm gonna whore it up now and have all kinds of dudes over. ok, probably not...but it's a possibility now.

ok, well i'm bout to make it do what it do. i'll holla at this blog later tonight when i'm done with classes. there's still a lot i want to talk about.

good night.

jenny "do you have any non-infant clothes" jenn jenn

*i'm starting to run out of Superbad quotes. oh shit! i hadn't seen it in months. I knows there's lots more. I gotta go ahead and buy the dvd and refresh myself. i'm so ashamed i've gone this long without seeing it.*

Looks like me and sam are gonna rent this 2 bed/2 bath house/duplex in mid sept. to oct 1st. Can you say housepar-tay?

I am so sad.

so the hardest part of a breakup for me is thinking about the new ex having sex with someone that's not me. i don't like the fact that a guy can tell me he loves me and only wants to be with me and then as soon as we break up, he's off sticking his weiner in some chickenhead. i just torrey has some kind of respect for me and waits a little bit. after me and lamar broke up, i was at his place a few weeks later and he had some body butter intended for some chick on his floor. it's like "damn dude! where's the grieving period?!"

and the second hardest part is thinking abou that person telling some new girl all the things he used to tell you. stuff like "i love you so much." stuff like that. and the two of them holding hands and going out and doing stuff together and laughing and just having fun. i can't handle that. cause in normal people, things like that lead to sex.

but i suppose life has to go on.

there are just waaay too many what ifs in my life.

they say when two people are in a sexless relationship and they break up...the guy goes and tries to push sex immediately on the very next girl he tries to be with. he rushes and really pursues the sex for what he was lacking previously.

i'm just sayin. i can't really blame a guy for going out and doing that after me. being with someone for years and not letting them hit it...that ain't right. i realize that it isn't right. but i just can't do it. i was reading this sandra brown book and they were saying how important sex is in a relationship. it shows physically how you emotionally feel about someone.

but this is precisely why i don't need to get into another serious long term relationship with a guy unless i know i'm ready for a sexual relationship. i mean, i'm going on 25 years old. i'm getting to old for this shit. so no more LTRs for me.

honestly though, i still think i need to go see a specialist about this. i'm pretty sure my insurance doesn't include psychotherapy though. but i really would like to go and talk to someone about it...soon. i recognize that i do in fact have a problem. what i'm doing (or not doing) is not normal and i need help.

so i'm bringing this all up cause i'm just sad right now. i was talking to torrey and he doesn't seem to be phased at all that we broke things off for good. he said he had given up weeks ago. ok, well that's fine. but then i got the feeling that he was already sleeping with someone else. and i couldn't be mad at that, that's his business. but it does make me sad and angry. he said he wasn't, but i'm kinda pissed right now. even if he's not at the moment, he will soon. he definitely won't have to wait two years with his next girlfriend to sleep with her.

i was watching something and this panel of guys were talking about how, unfortunately, sex plays a huge role in their relationships with girls. probably one of the most important things that a guy wants in a relationship and i can't offer.

i'm just scared that now, i have to start all over with a new guy to try to get comfortable enough with them to try it. shit, i may be well over 30 before i have sex. IF i ever have the guts to do it at all. i'm feeling really sorry for myself right now. i've been crying all morning about this. i just need to be happy and calm myself down.

i don't know man. i'm so sad. why can't i just be a normal person and have a normal sex life like every other 24 year old in a serious, long term relationship?

ok, i need to stop feeling sorry for myself and move on. i'm pretty torn up about this, so i'll probably be writing about it for a few days so if you're getting sick of it...OH WELL!!! this is my blog, shit, i don't give a fuck.

good night. i need to go take a nap. i'm in a shitty mood, my head is banging, my body aches, and i'm feeling really depressed right now. these pain pills are kicking in now and i'm getting really drowsy, so i'm gonna go to sleep.

later.

-jenny

i came to the very sad conclusion today...well yesterday...that me and torrey are really over. i'm just not into it anymore. and it kinda sucks cause he was the best boyfriend i ever had. it was just running thin towards the end. i talked to him briefly about it and we both agree that it's a wrap for good.

i'm going to bed now.

peace out.

jennifer

my boo is really gettin it in this video. it's near the middle of the video, so you gotta wait for it...but it's soooo worth it.



jenny "is this the bathroom? i gotta wash this merlot off my pants." jenn jenn

Its nice when you can fall asleep in someones arms and feel completely safe. Ive really been feeling sappy and love sick the past few days, but ill get over it.

i really wish i had someone to stroke my hair and kiss me till i fall asleep. i'm so needy. this is why i always run back to my exes. "i get lonely...i get lonely, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh."

ok, bed for real now. night night.

-jenny

i would really hook up this nintendo and start playing super mario brothers right now if i wasn't so sleepy. i'm going to bed...alone. aww.

good night blogger.

jenny "what the fuck!!!" jenn jenn

one of my friends just asked this question on facebook and i just had to answer it.

chaconia: has a ? 4 all 484 of my FB friends..wht are sure signs tht a guy is TRULY into yu b/c he genuinely cares & wnts to be && not just settling b/c he cnt have wht he really wnts???

me: when he makes plans way in the future and you're included in those plans.

Ex) when he says something like: "WE gotta do the Taste of Atlanta again next year."

when they say stuff like that...referencing the fact that you'll still be together in a year...they're really feeling you.

and that is so true. torrey always did that. he always made comments like that. whenever he referenced the future, i was in it. i can't say that my ex did that. he didn't really reference me in his future. i mean, we had talked about maybe getting married one day, but other than those few times we discussed that, he never really mentioned me in his future. i guess that's a good sign to look for. i think that if a guy references you in his future, that's it. it's a wrap. he's sprung, he's fallen, he's head over heels. torrey is the only person to do that with me. i'm just sayin...

jenny "i love my best friend evan" jenn jenn

my teeth have been hurting again. i just took one of these pills they prescribed me, so i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be in for a really vivid, weird dream tonight.

i totally forgot about this dream i had the other night. it was the most real dream i've ever had in my life. it was like i was watching a movie on tv. i was in a thrift store shopping for clothes and then my friend lawrence comes in with another friend of his. they start talking to me and then his friend pulls out a video camera and starts taking pictures of me. then he starts taking pictures of other girls in the store and then all of a sudden, we're like at a rest stop (like off a highway) and lawrence's friend is using the zoom function on the camera to take pics of girls in cars that are passing by on the highway. well the friend takes a pic of one girl and i guess the girl was a passenger in a car driven by her boyfriend cause the car stops and slows down and then backs up after the friend takes the pic. we all get scared and try to hide behind something when we see the car back up. then it cuts to like an arial view from a helicopter and its all grainy like a surveillance video camera and we see two dudes get out of the car and run out of the shot and then run back into their car...but two police cars with their sirens blaring come up and out with their guns drawn and arrest the two guys.

apparently the two guys went and put something underneath a car that was parked at the rest stop. so they didn't know what it was, so they call in this specialist or something to go in and see what it was. so the guy is looking under the car and feels something. he pulls it out and it's this huge flaming piece of material. once he pulls it out and sees what it was, his eyes get huge. like popping out of his head as he's holding it. and as soon as his eyes get all big, the burning thing he pulled from under the car suddenly flames up and his whole body just catches fire quickly. it spreads from the material to his hands and then all over his body. then the guy just crumples over all slowly and dies. it was so real. seeing the look on his face when his eyes got all big when he saw the firey material and then watching him slowly crumple over after he was all in flames. it was soooo real.

and then they come over and interview me and all i keep talking about his how the guy died and the look on his face when he did.

so weird.

and the dream i said i wasn't gonna talk about a few days ago. well since i'm on a role, i might as well. so i had taken this pain medicine for my teeth and fell asleep and this is the dream i had then:

i dreamt that i was sitting on a bench somewhere talking to a friend when crystal (yeah, the one i can't stand) comes and sits next to me. now, i don't want to have anything to do with her, so i just pretend like i don't even see her. well after me and my friend stop talking, crystal starts talking to me and tells me how my ex and her were messing around behind my back but how she thought he was such a loser now and that she was sorry that we didn't like each other because of him. it was sooo odd. so we were sitting around talking shit about him and ended up friends in the end. now mind you, i had just taken some powerful narcotics, so i was extremely out of it when i went to sleep.

i took another of those pills a little while ago and i am soooo looking forward to what dreams i'll be having tonight. hopefully a sexy one ;)

jenny "i'm gonna give you the best blow jay ever...with my mouth" jenn jenn

what i wouldn't do for a kiss right about now. and not just a kiss, but a good one.

-jennifer

i've gotten no sleep, but i've found that's how i work best. i was so bored when i got all the sleep i wanted those two weeks i was out of class. now i get zero sleep and i feel so fulfilled.

so, yeah. this semester is gonna be interesting. last one as an undergrad, first one being completely single...maybe.

since i got my wisdom teeth taken out, i've been losing some weight. hey, i can't be mad at that.

ok.

i thought i had something to say, but i forgot it. so bye bye.

oh wait. yeah. my brother tj made a video that he put up on his myspace. and since he's my brother, i need to show him some love and post his video. he's the one with the white head scarf on throughout it. he looks a lot like my brother josh...or he used to. here it is:



jenny "you have such a smooth...chest" jenn jenn

Damn! He was coming at ya girl all hard! Ok! Woooow!

You know how when its cold and you're lying in bed with your honey and you wake up in the middle of the night and snuggle up next to your him/her? I loove that.

I'm at work and my mouth hurts so bad. My jaw is still so swollen and i can barely open my mouth. I'm like bubba, I wanna go home. I need some TLC.

it's gonna be fun/interesting to see who's gonna tie me down...who i'm gonna end up with. what lucky bastard gets to wake up every morning with me next to him.

a while back, i was wanting to get an apartment with torrey, but he wasn't feeling it. guys don't like living with me, wassup with that? and when they do, they're bums about it and just freeload.

i want to get an apartment soon, but it's hard out there for a pimp. i don't know. i wouldn't live with a guy again anyway unless i'm gonna get married to him. my one and only experience with it was definitely an eye opener and i won't be doing that again.

i'm glad torrey decided not to actually. karma right?

i don't like having to worry about other people paying my bills anyway. i like to make sure my stuff gets paid on time and stays on, ya dig?

why am i still up? bye bye.

jenny jenn jenn

i got this dude's dance on lock by the way. it's so funny.

nuh uh. don't think ya girl forgot about her boo. here's another video of my boo, but this time, he actually took it to the underground. lookie:



jenny "you're gonna sing! and you're gonna sing good!" jenn jenn

so i was gonna talk about this dream i had yesterday. i changed my mind though. i'm gonna keep that one to myself.

on another note...i took quite a few pics of me and my new chipmunk face. i cannot wait for this swelling to go down. now i know what my face would look like if i was a fat chick. i'm contemplating posting them up.

i have some pics from the day of surgery where there's blood all over my lips and teeth. lol, they are so gross. i probably won't post those. but i gotta post at least one pic of how swollen my face is. it's terrible.

and my face still hurts. i can barely open my mouth halfway without having a stinging pain shoot through my whole face. it's bad. and i'm supposed to be starting school on monday and starting my grady volunteer thing, oh god. i hope my face starts acting right, ya dig?

so now that i had this surgery, i'm looking to get braces early next year to straighten out that tooth that i decided not to get removed. that's not gonna be fun. 25 and with braces.

i've been daydreaming about kissing someone. i'm not gonna say who it is, but i never thought i'd be imagining kissing this person.

riche finally has a new boyfriend. this guy she's been 'talking' to for a while now. she's been single for over a year and a half. i have never ever ever been single that long. i don't stay single for more than a few weeks at a time. but i'm single now and hopefully i can stay single for a year and a half too, at least a year anyway. i hink that'll be good and healthy for me. i don't think i like the idea anymore (or at least right now) of being tied down to just one person. and i think that i think this way because i don't want to have sex. if you're with one person, it starts to get serious and eventually the guy is gonna wanna smash. so if i date around, i don't have to focus on just one guy and i can see other people and so can he so if he wants to smash, he can call up some other chick.

have i said that i can't wait to go to new orleans? i need a vacation too.

i'm starting my last semester as an undergrad. come december, i'll have a bachelor's degree in biology. i can call myself a biologist now. that's so exciting. so many people i know that graduated are becoming elementary school teachers. hmm. that'll be my last option. but it sounds fun. i love kids.

i say i want to be single for a long time, but then i feel like i'm ready to settle down too. i want to go ahead and get married and have kids and buy a house and have a cool job and a nice car. i'm ready to have all that. i'm going on 25, come on! i don't know, i think that'll be a good look for me.

oh, i passed calculus...barely. i got a C+. i have never ever ever been more happy to get a C in my entire life. that's awesome. i am done with math forever. there's no math in grad school (for bio) or med school. so, yay!!!!

i still talk to my brother's ex girlfriend mylanda. i loved her so much. i was really hoping that they were gonna work out. but my brother was being a whore. why do guys fuck it up with good girls? they can be soo stupid. but you know what...later down the road when they're with chickenheads that ain't bout shit and you're doing big things...they'll come calling.

i am a huge believer in karma. my and my Persian twin had a long convo about karma and how we were both strong believers. my Persian twin is my exact match, but she's Persian. her name's Orozzo and she's da shiz. i met her in my micro lab last spring and we just sorta gravitated toward each other.

what goes around comes around. you get what you deserve. two big thumbs up to that.

btw, reading rainbow is the ish too.

i'm so bored right now. i need to go to bed so i can be rested when i go in to work.

the first thing people say or ask me when i tell them that i work at the bank is "put some money into my account". that is always the first thing people say. if i knew how to do that shit, why would i mess up my job trying to hook you up? boy stop! girl stop! i wouldn't do that even if i could. karma, remember?

i think i have to take out my nose ring and lip ring for volunteering at grady. i can tolerate taking out the nose ring, but taking out my lip ring is gonna be a problem. i've had this thing for six years, since 2003, but i'm pretty sure if i take it out again, it's gonna close up again. i took it out once for four hours and that shit would not let that ring go back through. i was so pissed. i had to get it repierced and it hurt like hell. and i had the piercing for like three years at the time. we'll see. we'll see how it goes.

i'm in desperate need of a new tattoo. and something really big. i want something really big on my right arm i think. i want my brother alan to design something for me. i'll get him to draw something for me when he comes down for my graduation and maybe i'll go ahead and get it in december. i might get something small while i'm in new orleans too. i want me and sam to get matching tattoos. i want us to get this:



we'll see what happens. i'll have to ask her if she's down. i wanna get mine on my ankle i think.

i really want some church's chicken right now. 3 piece spicy and a biscuit for $2.69 with a pepper pack. oh yeah! that sounds like a bet, but oh, wait, i can't. i have to eat jello and yogurt. my teeth still hurt. this is a good way to lose weight. i've been so hungry since thursday and all i can eat is noodles.

riche just got back from her "honeymoon" with her new boyfriend. i've always wanted to go out of town with a guy on a little vacation. me and torrey were gonna go on one, but then he started acting up, so, you know...it is what it is.

i started reading this sandra brown book today. i forgot what it's called. wait, no, this danielle steele book. i'm only on the first chapter. but this man and woman were married for 24 years and he finally tells her one night that for the past year, he's been cheating on her with a younger woman and that he was in love with the other woman and wanted to be with her. he didn't tell his wife this, but he had already asked to marry this other woman and they were going house hunting and everything already. he said that he didn't want her (his wife) anymore and that he didn't even want to try to work it out. he said the other woman made him happy and feel alive and he really really really wanted to be with her. i got so mad hearing this. his wife even begged him to leave his new chick and try to work things out. she was so in love with him, but he just dropped her and left. what a tool. i am not a fan of whores. i just remember getting so angry when i heard it and i actually felt what this woman was feeling. it was tough.

on a completely different note...i bought a bushel of cilantro a few days ago and i love it! i sometimes just eat the leaves for the hell of it. i've been putting them in my nog shim noodles.

ok, well i'm bout to go. i gotta make this money.

jenny "$7?! what are we in kindergarden?" jenn jenn

i took this medicine they gave me for my teeth for the first time yesterday and i woke up from a really weird, huge nightmare. it had to have been the narcotics they gave me.

i'll write about it later, i have to go to work now...and i still look like a chipmunk! my face is even more swollen than it was yesterday. damn!

jenny "so he was an African jew?" jenn jenn

my wisdom teeth are gone and i am in so much pain!

they gave me the nitrous oxide and i wasn't even laughing! it didn't work. i feel asleep quickly after the IV anesthesia. the whole thing took about 45 minutes. torrey took me. when i woke up after it was done, i was supposed to get into this wheelchair, but i couldn't, so torrey had to put me in it. they rolled me out to the car and torrey took me home. he was so sweet for doing that.

today, i felt like shit. i could really have used a boyfriend type thing today. somebody to hold my hand and stroke my hair and make me soup and let me lay my head in their lap all day to fall asleep in. ah-well.

this morning after the surgery, i was talking and my mouth was just full of blood and blood was dripping down my face and onto the coffee table. lol, it was so gross. it was terrible. but it's good now. it's still doing some spot bleeding and my jaws are so swollen. i look like a chipmunk. no, it's really not that bad.

ok, well i'm gonna go back to sleep. this medicine they gave me for the pain knocks me out. i don't know if i'll be going to work tomorrow night or what. ok, good night.

love,

jennifer a.

did i mention that i'm really feeling this whole twitter thing now? yeah, i've been twittering and twittering at people and responding to trending topics and doing it up.

so in case you don't know, it's

HERE!!!

jenny "so you guys on myspace, or..." jenn jenn

this is my 400th post!!!

on a sadder note...my brother got stabbed a couple nights ago. someone was trying to rob him at a walgreens near the base at jacksonville, nc. he was coming out of walgreens and got in his car when someone came and knocked on his car window asking for money. when he told the man he didn't have any money, the dude showed that he had a "gun" under his shirt and made my brother get out of the car. so josh got out and he said when he noticed that it wasn't a gun, he punched the dude a few times, and the dude stabbed him. he had a kitchen butcher knife the whole time. so he stabbed josh in the stomach and started to run. apparently josh got back in the car and tried to run the man down, but he didn't make it.

anyway, he spent the night in the hospital, but he's out now and he said he's fine. hopefully.

so tomorrow morning is the big day. i'm finally getting my teeth pulled. for real this time. four of them. yikes!

i had to call the paramedics on vickey on sunday night cause she drunk too much beer and something was going on with her breathing. she thought she was gonna have a heart attack. two days later, she was back to drinking again. she'll never learn...until it's too late.

i still have that same dime bag that i need to finish off. i didn't even smoke any of it yet. maybe labor day weekend if not this week.

i start at grady on monday. i'm gonna be doing it monday, wednesday, and friday mornings from 9 am to noon. i'm excited about it.

my tire went flat on my way to the mall yesterday. torrey came out and changed it for me. i know how to change a tire, but it's just hard for me to loosen up the bolts that hold the tire on, so i guess you can basically say that i can't change a tire (but it's purely for physical reasons only).

i did get that 97 hyundai sonata. it's pretty nice. it's really windowy. i'm gonna get the windows tinted in the next couple months. its way too windowy. but the car is pretty nice. it's dark blue. it even has rims! not hub caps, but some nice pacer rims. i want to get it eventually repainted to. i don't know what i want it to be yet, but i want something really...colorful.

i'm gonna donate the pontiac. i can write it off as a tax write off if i donate it. nobody is really gonna pay anything for it since the transmission is on its way out. i'm really gonna miss it too. it was my very first car. i bought it with my own money when i was 19, so i've had it for the past five years. it really feels like a sister to me.

but besides that, i start my volunteer thing on monday and we start classes on monday. i have classes, once again, from monday to friday and sam only has classes on tuesday and thursday. i told her she'll only be able to do that for her first year or two, but after that, it'll pretty much be monday through friday.

i graduate on december 14. it's a monday night, which is so waaaaaaack! but i gotta send mattie all the info so she can make my invitations. but i gotta go get my cap and gown so i can take pictures to put in my invitations. i think i'm gonna go ahead and take the GRE in the next few weeks and go for my masters starting this coming spring at Georgia State and then go to med school after I get that. I figure I'll be done with the masters thing in just one year. i'll be done in time to start med school (if that's what i decide to do) in the fall of 2011. if i don't do med school, having a master's will be good if i decide to apply to work at the CDC. those are my two big options of what i wanna do.

ok, how bout this shady, grimy, ugly ass nigga (vickey's ex darias aka my #1 enemy) came and knocked on my door asking to buy my car for $100. WHAT THE FUCK!!! i told him he done lost his mind. you know how much money i put into that car? i can get more than that from it just by taking it to a junk yard. you want me to basically give you my car and you know i can't stand yo ugly ass? get the fuck outta here! i told him "uh...no! i'm gonna donate the car so i can get some kind of money off of it." and he was pissed, but i don't give a fuck! who the fuck is he? he can kick rocks, that ain't got shit to do with me. that just really ticked me off that he thought i was gonna let him have my car like that. i asked vickey while he was standing right there "why did you let him come to my door and embarass himself like that?" that was so mean, lol, but oh well!

anyway...our new orleans trip is till on for halloween weekend. sam is so excited about it. we gotta go shopping for it soon. it's gonna be fun.

ok, well i gotta go take this medicine for my surgery tomorrow. but i'm gonna leave you all with this very funny video i found on you tube. it's called:

"Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips on How to Make Your Kids Less Attractive."


jenny "what? he's a guy! that's what guys look like." jenn jenn

i am so excited cause i tweeted something today to gavin degraw about how he's really pimping out his international t-shirt day thing waaay too hard...and he actually responded to me!!!

he asked if it was too much, and i told him it was all good and that i would represent for him at georgia state.

that's my boo right there, for life, i don't give a fuck what anybody says.

so i'm starting to love this twitter thang. it's pretty straight.

gavin tweeted a few days ago that he drinks more coffee than water and i was just like, that's me right there. i definitely need to drink my coffe to water drinking ratio.

but i'm so excited to see what his response to my latest tweet is. he's so awesome. ok, yes! i'm obsessed! so what? that just really made my day. i was having a really shitty, depressing day until i read that, so i'm good son.

on a side note, i've noticed that i am becoming so hood. like, i've been getting in touch with my black side and it's not so bad. i can't let it take over though...i don't want to be THAT kind of girl.

ok, i'm gonna go eat some chips and dip now. bye bye.

jenny "when am i ever gonna need to make tiramisu?" jenn jenn

it's 4 in the morning, i can't sleep, and i could definitely use a nice, slow, deep back rub right now. mmmm.

jenny "i've never been with an older guy before" jenn jenn

so sam works at caribou coffe (boo!). that's so wack. everybody knows starbucks is the one that holds a special place in my heart.

anyway, this chick tries to win me over by bringing me all this caribou coffee stuff. she brings me cookies, brownies, all kinds of pastries, blended drinks, all that stuff. but the chick has yet to let me holla at that coffee. i don't get all that fancy stuff at starbucks, i just like the coffee. now, i need to sample this caribou coffee to see what's really up.

jenny "don't you have any non-infant clothes?" jenn jenn

and here this fool goes again...posted up in front of the sports profile at five points, doing his thang. what a mess.



jenny "you mean like a man dick?" jenn jenn

yeah, i think it's a wrap on me and torrey. i just really have not been feeling him lately...at all. he...i don't even know what to say about the dude. i think the last time i'm ever gonna talk to him is next week after he takes me to my dentist appointment (it had to get rescheduled). i'm not feeling it.

jenny "take off that vest...you look like aladdin" jenn jenn

and then once again, my boo. dancing in downtown atlanta, making a damn fool of himself one more time.



jenny "she perioded on my leg?" jenn jenn

so my oral surgery got pushed back from today to tomorrow.

then me and sam are taking a little one day long road trip from atlanta to charlotte and back all in the same day. i gotta go pick up the car my dad bought for me.

i'm supposed to be starting at grady soon in the infectious diseases department. i have to interact with HIV/AIDS patients and tell them all about the disease, how it works, what to expect, what kind of medicines to take, give supportive care...all that. i'm excited about that too. i should be starting next week cause this week is all full for me.

i just ordered my new sprint phone today. it's a rant. it's supposed to be good for texting, which i do all day long every day. and it has a really good camera and i can supposedly watch youtube videos and listen to music on it. i was gonna get the rumor 2, but i think i need to try something new. more people had more good things to say about the rant anyway.

ok, well i gotta finish getting ready for work. peace out.

jenny "break yo self fool. aaaaaaahhhhhhhh! tight." jenn jenn

and y'all know i couldn't leave y'all without putting up another video of my boo dancin up on here. this man is a trip. i see him all the time at the underground just a dancin and i saw some kids filming him one day, so i checked youtube and found like 20 videos of this fool dancing around the underground.

so here's another one:



jenny "you dance hot!" jenn jenn

oh, what i wanted to talk about...this stalking thing.

ok, so i thought i had this whole stalker situation in check, but apparently not. now its just getting bizarre. just really weird. everytime i think about it, i think about this song. the words are so scary, but they try to put it to a nice, melodic beat so you won't notice.



and in case you didn't hear the words:

Whatcha� doin� tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Who's stealin' your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm scream out
Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...

[Repeat Chorus]

If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...


CREEPY!!!

jenny "evan, that's psycho shit" jenn jenn

so once again, me and torrey have fallen out.

ok, so my car broke down on me and it's not working right now. i need to get my transmission fixed/replaced ($$$yikes$$$). so with him being my boyfriend, i asked him to take me to work and pick me up. he seemed cool about it the first day he dropped me off, but after that...he had been being such a dick! i'm talking about fucked up stank ass attitude, being all quiet when he dropped me off or picked me up. picking me up late and dropping me off late.

he was late one day and i got mad and told him what was up and this dude had the nerve to tell me that he was doing me a favor and that i wasn't allowed to be mad at him for dropping me off late. WHAT AN ASSHOLE! when i say i wanted to hop up and punch this dude square in his face...but i held my tongue cause i needed a ride. but i swear to god, i wanted to sock this dude right in his stupid face.

i told him...after he took me home that night, i wouldn't ask his stank ass for nothing else and that was it. i really have nothing to say to the dude. what an ass, that's all i can say. i haven't talked to him since. that was a couple days ago. he's been pissing me off. i need to stop fuckin with him for good though.

my dad's supposed to be buying me a newer car this week. it's a 97 something. i forgot what he said. but i hope he gets it cause ya girl is hurtin for a car right about now. my baby pooped out on me. i'm not gonna lie, i'm gonna be so sad when i have to let it go for good. i'm gonna try to sell it somewhere/someplace/somehow.

anyways, i've been up for over 30 hours...so i'm going to sleep now.

peace.

jenny "oh my god, it's in!" jenn jenn

Oh sweet sleep! Please come take my body for the next 12 to 13 hours.

i see this crackhead all the time just a dancin at five points. i smile and laugh every time i see this dude. he has two signature moves that i always watch for. the one where he does the backwards waggle thing and the one where he puts his finger up in the air and rotates his hips. everytime i see him, i gotta see him do those two moves before i can move on.

he is too funny.



jenny "i've got a goddamn veteranary exam. this is bullshit" jenn jenn

i bought my first bag of weed the other day. i bought a dime bag. it was so weird. i usually let other people buy and i share it with them. but this time, i actually bought and paid for it. so this thursday when i'm done with summer classes, i'm gonna have some fun.

my surgery is one week from today. four teeth. damn. that's gonna hurt. i might have to call out from work. we'll see. i'm gonna tell the dentist to drill holes through the teeth so i can make a necklace. lol, that's so stupid.

i gave an oral presentation today and for the very first time, i wasn't even all that nervous. i knew exactly what i was talking about and i made eye contact with the audience and i even made them laugh. so i'm getting better and better.

the whole stalking situation i was experiencing...it's died down. i think this dude is coming to his senses.

i talked to my dad today and he told me that he got all of his teeth removed. oh my god! he said he was having really bad oral problems and had to get all of his teeth removed. he's only 53! geeze louise! so he has a set of dentures right now, but in three months after his gums have healed, he's gonna get 28 teeth implanted into his gums. that's $1,000 per tooth. hey, i'd spend that much too to avoid having to wear dentures. i just can't believe it. he got 22 teeth removed. that's gross. i hope i can see his mouth before he gets the implants. i'd probably cry if i saw that. that's sad.

i must have gotten my teeth from my mom. my mom doesn't have teeth that looks like mine, but my brother tj and my sister katrina have teeth like mine...big. we must have gotten them from a grandparent or something.

i was excited about these braces i'm supposed to be getting, but now i'm not really looking forward to them. they're expensive, they require a lot of upkeep, i can't eat candy...it's gonna suck. there'll be a lot of things i won't be able to eat ;). whatevs...its all good cause i haven't been eating much lately anyways. i'm trying to lose 8 pounds by halloween.

so there's this asian dude that's tryin to holla at me now. i've never had an asian dude trying to get at me before. well, scratch that. this will be the second asian dude, but the first asian dude trying hardcore to get at me. the first guy was just kinda being laid back about it. but this new dude is waiting on me to lose my man. he told me that when i'm looking forward to moving on, i should come holla at him.

it's cool cause now, i can have whatever guy i want. i remember when there was a time where i couldn't get anybody that i wanted. i liked this one guy, alex, from 7th grade to 10th grade, but ya boy was just not feeling me at all. he was mexican, but he had green eyes or blue eyes or something. but he showed ya girl no love. he would get with me today, i'm sure. but then, i have to admit, i wasn't hittin on nothin. i couldn't blame him. then this other guy i liked in middle school, uriah. he's an albino. i found him on myspace and facebook last year and i had asked him if he remembered me cause i had a hardcore crush on him. i told him that he wasn't feeling me at all though. he said, "i don't know why i wasn't feeling you cause you're a gorgeous girl." so that was sweet, but i did let him know that i was a beast then. i'm just glad that i'm through with that phase in my life.

so apparently i have good ninja skills. i'm supposedly pretty good at black jack too. i'll leave it at that.

one of my life's goals is to go to an open mic thing and to do some freestylin. i've been thinking about that a lot lately. i would never have the guts to do it, but one day, i will do it.

so i'm still prett set on this bangs thing. i really want some bangs, but torrey is just not feeling it. like really not feeling it. im like wtf? what's the big deal? i'm definitely not gonna get it just cause he doesn't like it. maybe he had a bad experience with a girl who had bangs.

anyways....gonna get ready to go to work. i'll holla.

jenny "he's fast...he's the fastest kid alive" jenn jenn

so myspace has this new feature where it tells you how many times each particular picture that you have posted has been viewed.

and for some reason...i can only guess as to why...but this one particular picture has WAAAAAAAAY MORE views than any other picture that i have. it has at least three times as many views as any other pic.

i'm gonna blame it on horny guys that may be looking at it at 3 in the am.



jenny "oh shit! the cops!" jenn jenn

man..."i feel like a dick."

i've seen "say anything" like six times in six days. i never realized that it was such a great movie.

jenny "and one little bottle of spermicidal lube" jenn jenn

well fuck me!

so i'm 24...going on 25...and my first wisdom tooth is just now trying to come in. these things are supposed to pop out when you're 17 or so. everything happens late for me. i started school late. i haven't had sex yet. maybe i'll hit a growth spurt later and end up being 5'10. that would be nice.

but yeah, i was looking in my mouth today and i see a new tooth trying to peek through my gums in the back of my mouth. its so weird. but that's a non-issue cause in about two weeks, that tooth will be gone. my insurance finally approved my teeth removal. so i'm getting all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. they're gonna have to cut through my gums to get to them, but they're coming out. they wanted to take out a fifth tooth, but i was like "does that tooth really need to come out? can't i just get braces to pull it back in line?". so that's what they're gonna do. after i get these four wisdom teeth pulled, i'll get my teeth cleaned and then maybe a few months later...braces. that'll be weird, but we'll see how it goes. just when i thought my smile couldn't get any more perfect ;)

so i'm gonna have this major mouth surgery in two weeks. torrey is taking me. they want someone to drive me there and drive me home. i have to be on some serious meds like a week and a half before the surgery and then probably afterwards too. when i get there, there's gonna give me two different types of anesthesia. one of which is nitroux oxide, which i am so exicted about. i cannot wait to get some of that N2O. i'm gonna be laughing my ass off at nothing before i fall asleep.

but i'm glad i'm getting this done now so i can have it done before i take my new orleans trip. hey, what if i get down there and then want to eat some meat ;). that's why i'm gonna wait a few months on the braces. i don't want to be trying to look all hot and then smile and have a mouth full of metal. i bet when i get my braces, i'll look even younger than i do now. i can see it now. i'm gonna get mistaken for 12 and 13. i just know it.

oh shit! i just realized that torrey is gonna HATE when i get braces. cause that'll mean no more...woooooow. lol. that is too funny. i guess i'll be single for a few months (or however long i have to wear braces for). wow, i never even thought of that. dah well.

well i'm gonna go get about three hours of sleep and then i won't get to sleep again until thursday night. i have a calculus test to study for and that means no sleep until the test is done...which is thursday night. that'll be another 36 hour day/night for me. ah shit.

ok, well i'm gonna peace on out of here.

later bitches.

jenny "ow! what the shit was that!" jenn jenn