so i thought i was gonna do it. i was talking a lot of shit. i had psyched myself up to do it, but then when it came down to it...i was scared shitless. i lost my f-in nerve man! i can't believe it! i got in the car, i got there...all the steps were leading up to what i thought would happen, but i was just soooo scared. FML.

well like i always say, everything happens for a reason. there's this girl in my biochem class that i was just talking to about this on friday. we had this whole conversation about everything happening for a reason and it was an amazing conversation too. and just, pretty much all of my plans for this weekend had fallen through, but i can't be mad cause everything happens for a reason. there was a reason this happened or didn't happen. my time will come.

ok, having said that...i used to only attract black guys (usually dark skinned black guys at that...maybe that's where my fetish for dark skinned guys came from), but now, i get all kinds of dudes trying to holla. black, white, asian, hispanic. it's so weird. it's just like an all of a sudden thing too. everybody wants a piece and who am i to deny that to anybody. ok, so this is the order of guys now that try to holla:

1) black
2) asian
3) white
4) hispanic
5) other

so i think it's pretty interesting that asian dudes are #2 on that list. and i think it's even more interesting that hispanics came in under whites on the list. and even more interesting, waaaayy more light skinned dudes try to holla than dark skinned dudes now. it used to be the reverse of that, but not anymore. if i could change one thing about the list, it would be to have more dark skinned dudes holla, but i can't complain.

and a thing i do that i need to work on for the new year is this...ok, so i have manners and i know how to take a compliment. you know how when you're walking down the street and a dude says something like "hey beautiful, how you doin?". well when that happens, i naturally smile because, hello, i was just given a compliment. well with these dudes, they get encouraged when they see you smile and then pursue you harder. i have no interest in talking to one of those "everyday, extra-ordinary street niggas", ok! but i am a girl and i do get flattered when i'm complimented.

ok, now onto my halloween weekend. i took the weekend off from work. friday night, i actually went to Cinefest and saw "Drag Me to Hell" with Torrey. we were both on campus and i called him up and asked if he would come see it with me and so he did ;)
and so i went home and spent the next few hours cleaning. my brother josh and one of his friends was supposed to be coming up for sam's birthday, but that fell through. so me and sam went and got halloween costumes. she was a prisoner and i was amy winehouse..excuse me...amica winehouse. that was fun. on saturday, i spent the day with my friend sharon down in my old stomping grounds...riverdale/jonesboro. that was fun. we kinda just drove around all day and saw our old job (we worked together at value village in 03-04) and just reminisced all day. she took me to a friend of her's job. her friend was a lesbian and was talking about licking coochie and whatnot. it was weird, funny, it was a lot of things, but i had a good time. we went to this laundry mat in riverdale and the damn thing had an arcade, a big screen flat plasma tv, a pool table (only in riverdale). this short dark skinned dude tried to holla. i love my dark skinned dudes, but i don't love short ones. and so we went to ihop and we went to the dollar movies. i used to go to the dollar movies in fayetteville every weekend with sam. yesterday definitely brought back memories.

and so after that is when i dared to do what i thought i was gonna do. but as i already said...that didn't work out. i was supposed to go to riche's party and that didn't work out either. i still dressed up though. that was fun, and i was looking hot.

ok, well time to go clean and then study. ttyl bitches.

jenny jenn jenn