Words With Friends is the business.

all i'm gonna say today is...


nine day old leaky stool is not cute.

-jenny

April 1985 - July 17, 2011.

R.I.P.

And starting Monday July 25 @ midnight for like 6 hours, old 90s Nickelodeon shows will air on Teen Nick. I'm soo there.

For 7 weeks starting Monday, new Degrassi episodes Mon-Thurs nights at 9. And it looks GOOOOOOD!!!!! I CANNOT wait.

Oh, I saw "The Princess and The Frog" for the first time this week. It was soo good. Very well done..a black princess. Yay!

i was thinking about this yesterday...

i wonder if cavemen and primitive men had dreams. if they did, what did they dream about? did they realize that they were just dreams and that they weren't real, or did they think more about them? why humans evolve to dream? do dogs and other animals dream. well i'm pretty sure dogs do cause prince and stinkerbell always wimp and cry in their sleep. do other animals dream? do fish dream? do trees dream? do bacteria dream? hell, do bacteria even sleep?

if primitive men dreamt....lets say a cave man fell asleep and then dreamt he was flying...did he know it wasn't real? did they think that certain foods that they ate made them dream these crazy thoughts? they didn't have tv, so it must have been some form of entertainment for them.

what evolutionary significance would humans need to dream? why do we dream? how does that help us as a race to survive. it's a known fact that if you don't use it, you lose it. every single thing in our body and how our bodies function has a purpose and a place. if we didn't need it, evolutionarily, that thing would get smaller and smaller until it finally becomes non existant. for example, our appendix. it's virtually not really important for humans. i mean, we can live without it. it does secrete a very limited amount of substances that aid in digestion, but they aren't necessary for survival. hence, this is why, over time, appendices in humans have gotten smaller and smaller. eventually, it'll probably be gone. we may develop a new organ that has a totally useful function.

ok, i'm going off topic now. dreams. i can't think of a single reason why we have it. i can see no significance to having dreams that will cause the difference between life and death. maybe they aren't necessary for survival, but are a result of something else that we do need to survive. i don't know exactly what they result from, but maybe it results from the brain being dormant for some period of time. if this is the case, do people who are in comas dream that entire time? no. you only dream during the REM (rapid eye movement) period of sleep. i don't remember seeing a person in a coma who's eyes were racing back and forth beneath their eyelids. but to be honest, i've never seen a sleeping person's eyes moving back and forth either and they were dreaming.

i wonder if time in dreams is real time. like, can you have this dream that seemed like it lasted for 3 minutes, but then you wake up and you've been asleep six hours. well, nevermind. obviously there's a time lapse there.

and i know people who can be in a dream, wake up, then try to fall back to sleep so they can finish the dream and they actually do! that's pretty cool.

i'm just saying, i think there needs to be some hardcore research into the mechanisms of how dreams work and what their purpose is.

ok, i'm done ranting and raving.

this is fun, i like talking about science. science is my passion. my next blog, i think i'm gonna write about what i wrote for my master's thesis. it's really very interesting stuff. it's about HIV/AIDS and how some people are immune from it and how and why they are immune.

-jenny

i've said this before. i LOVE facial hair on a man. every girl says something different about a man that really turns her on. but for me...especially over the past year, i've grown really fond of facial hair. beards, mustaches, all of that. if you can only work a stubble look, fine. i prefer a lot of facial hair. full mustache, full beard, the whole nine. it's sexy. i used to look for a good smile and good teeth and nice big hands, but facial hair has far surpassed all of those.

however, i think if i were to get married, my man has to be clean shaven for the wedding photos. yeah, its kinda weird, but wedding pictures have to have the groom and bride looking traditional i think, so...

-jenny

so i got my fifth tattoo a few weeks back, but now i'm getting really antsy about starting my sleeve. i really want to get it going. it's gonna take a lot of time and money, but i have plenty of both right now.

and i want to go ahead and get lasik. and i need to start paying off my student loans. and i want to buy a house. and i want to buy a sports car...a really fast one. i feel like i'm just getting started and i'm excited for the future.

-jenn jenn

it's ALWAYS an adventure when i get home in the morning. i have to run up the stairs and then duck and dodge all kinds of moths and crickets and frogs and waterbugs and spiders that like to hang out by the bright lights of the hallway.

in other news...there is no other news. peace.

oh! i might get to see all of my brothers and sisters all in one place next month. well all of my biological brothers and sisters. so that's minus landon and jevonne. so i'm gonna get to see israel, c.j., alan, josh, sam, t.j., katrina (well, i don't know about her), and mikey. that's 8 and if you add me, that's 9. we have a family reunion in florida next month and we're all supposed to be going. if it happens, i am definitely taking pictures and i'll cherish those pictures forever. i don't think any of us have a picture with us all together. it'd be even better if landon and jevonne were in it. that would be 11 brothers and sisters all together. sheesh! now i'd love to see THAT picture!

-jenny

i'm so obsessed with RuPaul's Drag Race and RuPaul's Drag U. the queens are so pretty. well most of them.

degrassi picks back up this week. i'm so excited about that too. i've seen every episode.

my breasts are sooo swollen and sore right now.

whenever i get married, i don't think i'd want to get an up-do. i would want it long and wavy or curly.

i think i want to make some jello shots this weekend. i've never had them, so this weekend seems like it.

-jennifer

and another debate me and vickey have as to who's version of "change is gonna come better. gavin degraw or sam cooke (original singer). and of course, we all know what the answer is.

here's gavin's version.


and here's sam cooke's version.


come on now!

-jenny

ok. so me and sam have this ongoing argument on whether who's version of "tracks of my tears" is better. smokey robinson (original singer) or gavin degraw. its no question about who is taking who's side. i cannot get gavin's version out of my head. it's been stuck in my head for a couple of months now.

here's gavin's version.


damn he's really good to look at ain't he? i love him with this longer hair. anyway, ...

and here's smokey version.


i think we have an obvious winner here.

and i love boyz II men and everything, but here's their obsolete version. actually, it's pretty decent, but gavin wins cause i say so.


-jenny

sheryl crow did a really good song about first loves. "the first cut is the deepest". it's soooo true. here it goes:

first love is a trending topic today on twitter. geeze, i have so much to say about first loves. first love is always the deepest love. it also hurts the most when it ends and leaves the deepest scars. they say your first love is only puppy love. they say first love is nothing compared to true love. they say you'll always love your first love.

my first love was an asshole. but i was SOOO in love with this dude. i let him treat me soo badly for so many years. he took advantage of me and our relationship for the longest time and i let him cause i was so in love. i even still talk to him today when i have every reason in the book not to ever speak to him again. he's cheated on me, he's lied to me, he's stolen money and other stuff from me. but i can't seem to hold any animosity towards him.

you always think your first love is gonna be the one you end up with. you think you want to marry this person and have their babies and spend the rest of your lives being happy together. but that rarely ever happens. i remember wanting to marry and have so many babies with my first love. i always dreamed of our first child being a boy. i wanted him to be my first, but i was always too scared to give that to him. i was too scared AND the fact that i knew he wasn't any good kept my virginity intact.

my first love, i think, was the best kisser...but i think i may only believe that just because i had so much love for him. he was tall, had a great butt...i just thought he was IT. but fortunately enough, i finally saw the light. he really wasn't the one for me. i told him when we broke up for the last time, "you ain't getting any better than this sweetheart" and i'm pretty sure i was right. sure, other chicks may have given up the p*ssy, but none can hold to a candle to what i've got. i'm seriously not trying to be conceited, but i'm just saying. today, he doesn't stand a chance with me. i now know what i deserve and i know that i can do and get better.

so that was my first love (puppy love), but i'm still waiting on my first true love. someone who is as much in love with me as i am with them. someone who wants the same things as me and thats just to have someone to be so in love with/compatible with, want to get married, have babies, grow old laughing together. that's what i want. happiness, you know? it's what i deserve.

i just want to know when i'll find true love. i'm 26 already! but some people don't find true love until they're 50, 60, +....but i can wait forever (death). but i'd rather get it as soon as possible so that i can spend as much time as possible with him. hell, maybe its even a "her". who knows? maybe i'm having such bad luck with guys cause that's not what i'm supposed to be with. maybe i'll find my true happiness with a woman. who knows.

anyway, i'm going back to sleep. i've been getting so sleepy lately, i think i may be pregnant. or have some type of brain tumor. either one would be more exciting than what i've got going on now.

ok, cia.

-jennifer

i was watching RuPaul's Drag U and the queens were teaching hardcore butch lesbians how to walk in heels and wear dresses and makeup and hair and the whole bit. i couldn't help but think, when i saw the lesbians trying to walk in their heels, that i need a drag queen to help me out too. it's so sad. those drag queens have more feminine swagger than i would ever have. oh well.

i've been really really really sleepy these past couple of weeks. i think its the new schedule. i really am looking for a good 9-5 (first shift, not the third shift kind).

and to part, i'm gonna leave this song. me and sam used to sing it all the time on karaoke. here it goes:



-jenn

you gotta burn 3,500 calories to burn off one pound of fat. Dang that sounds like a lot.

-jennifer

so here in atlanta, star94 has 90s weekend where they play nothing but songs from the 90s. well this weekend, i remembered how much i loved third eye blind. anyways, here's my top three favorite songs from them.

1. "Semi-Charmed Life"


2. "Hows It Gonna Be"


3. "Jumper"


good night/morning
-jennifer

i think i blogged about this before, but I really need to make it to Monroeville Mall in PA at some point before I die. Dawn of the Dead (1978) is my favorite movie of all time (Superbad is #2). it was filmed in Monroeville, PA and primarily at their mall. it was built in 1969 and its still around today. i've done a LOT of research on this mall and I NEEd to go there...with a camera. hopefully soon.

-jennifer

so i went to a baby shower today. it was my very first one. i actually had a really great time. i went there thinking that i wasn't gonna let my social anxiety hold me back and it didn't. well, not like it usually does. i talked and laughed and played games. it was a heck of a lot of fun. i actually had a very long conversation with this lady who i found out was a therapist. we were both talking about our dissertations, about her husband, about georgia state, etc. it was a very natural, flowing conversation. i have to say that i am getting so much better with this conversing thing. i still have my hangups every now and then, but i am getting so much better.

after talking to the therapist, i found out the difference between a therapist (psychologist--like who i was seeing) and a psychiatrist. a therapist only needs a master's degree to work really whereas psychiatrists are actually MDs who have to go through med school. therapists focus more on mental/psychological reasons as to why someone may be having problems where as psychiatrists look at it as more of a medical reason and as such, they prescribe medicines to treat these "chemical imbalances" that make one have a mental problem. i was seeing a therapist for a couple months, but then i cut it off. i didn't really feel like it was helping me much. i wanted to go see a psychiatrist so i could get some meds to ease me out of my depression, social anxiety, shyness,... but after having this conversation with this lady, i know i just need to see a therapist. i don't need meds. what i'm going through is no hormonal/chemical imbalance. i have deep-rooted psychological issues that i think is causing my depression and anxiety. i think once i get in a steady job, i'll get medical insurance and will start regularly seeing a therapist. it'll be for the best of me.

i don't work for the bank anymore. I now work for a lab based company. it isn't quite what i thought it was gonna be and that's all i'm gonna say about that.

i was thinking that i want to buy a house by the end of 2012/beginning of 2013. i'm not sure if its gonna be in Atlanta, or Georgia, but we'll see. i'm not having any luck finding a decent job here in Atlanta so I may just start venturing (SERIOUSLY) elsewhere.

but back to the baby shower thing. i was shopping for a baby gift today and i was going through clothes and cribs and shoes and socks and high chairs and pampers and i must say, i did get an EXTREMELY STRONG URGE...a DEEP WANTING for a baby. i can't understand women who say that they NEVER want to have a child. i just don't get that. that's just like a basic instinct for a woman to want to have a child just as much as it is for a man to want to stick his penis into any female that he isn't related to. i couldn't imagine not being able to have a child. i'm 26 now and everyone around me already has kids or are already married and i haven't taken any kind of close steps in that direction whatsoever. it's depressing. maybe that's one of many reasons i get depressed.

i can say that my depression has been letting up in these past few weeks and i've been feeling really good and i've been having a really good outlook on things. i'm gonna take things one day at a time, hope for the best, pray, and just know that things will work out for me one of these days.

ok, having said all that...i'm bored now. i'm gonna go to sleep, get up, clean, and find something constructive to do with myself. maybe i'll go work out at the Y.

bye my loves.
-jenny

I am SOO thirsty for it.

Plus, I think..with time..I'd be pretty good at it. It's time.

I made it to 26 w/out having sex -ever. But I really want it now & think about it all the time. Problem is, I haven't found a guy worthy enough for my goodies.

Sex---I wanna have it. REALLY bad.

i've come to the revelation that i'm gonna die a virgin. i believe that.

a lot of people i know are getting married and having babies or have been married for a while and have had kids for a while. i just hope that when i do get married, i get to marry my best friend.

on another note, these two songs are my jams right now. especially this first one:



and i really love this one:



and on yet another note...i'm supposed to be starting on writing my rap song. it's gonna be a hot one, i know it.

i've been applying to biology-related jobs in atlanta and in north carolina.

thats all for now.

-jenny

oh, and another thing i've added to my bucket list is to go to a recording studio and record a hot rap track over a really hot beat. it'll happen soon. gotta start writing it.

i almost forgot that i had a blog until i got an anonymous comment from a spam advertiser a couple of days ago.

so i wish i was the type of girl that wears heels everyday and is always dressed up and wearing dresses and skirts and makeup and hair always together and nails always on point...just a girly girl. but i grew up with soo many brothers! and i grew up with my dad and i was his first girl. so it was all of these guys and then there was me. i didn't really have a mom around, so i was never around all that girly stuff. i finally started to snap out of my tomboyish-ness halfway through high school. i'd say i'm 85% tombody, 15% girl. i don't know. i kinda like being comfortable in my jeans and sneakers and tye dye shirts. like, i can picture myself in heels and skirts and such, but i think i'll forever be jeans and sneakers. its in my dna now. but when i have daughters, i'll try to make them as girly as possible. but since i don't know how and neither will my husband (?), i don't know how they'll get there. but i'll love them regardless.

but having said all that, even without the heels and skirts and makeup, i still pull the dudes, allroight! they know what's up.

anyways, i'm gonna go. i guess i'll do my yearly birthday blog roundup in a day or two.

see ya then!

-jenny

whenever i think about my first time, i think of this song.

Another thing to add to my bucket list: stand-up comedy. I'd LOVE to hit the stage with my always #WINNING jokes. It'd def help with my social anxiety too.

I was seeing a therapist for a couple of months and recently stopped going. The past couple of weeks, I've been EXTREMELY depressed. I need to start going again

I think I want a dog so bad right now cause I don't have a baby. There's a void in my life that needs to be filled :-(

Geeze, Prince William is getting married next year in April on Vickey's birthday, which is one week after my 26th birthday. I cannot believe that I'll be 26 in 5 months. That just sounds soo old, lol, dang. But I bring up the Prince's wedding because I heard about it on Wendy Williams' show. I could just imagine myself being a princess and marrying a prince. I wish someone would fall in love hard with me like that and ask to marry me, and offer me the world and actually be able to deliver. Hey, I'm still young and cute, it can still happen for me. Is make a bomb ass princess too. Is always be able to have my nails done, hair done, everything did...fancy huh? I could wear all the cute clothes, cute shoes, makeup always did, nice jewelry, just perfect. Hey, I got tons of potential, I'm just so damn lazy and just don't care about all that. That's one of my New Year's resolutions..to take better care of my body/appearance, to be more "girly" by wearing more skirts and dresses and heels, less jeans and pajamas, no more hats!, nails done, hair on point, keep up with this weight loss, be more active physically and socially, and finally, I would say spend the entire year being single, but I already know how I am, but I will try really hard. But Idk, I really want 2011 to be my year to shine, my year of change, my year to step out of my box. I'm kinda excited about it. I think something really exciting is gonna happen for me next year, a really dramatic change. We'll see. Ok, back to studying for finals for this week.

-Jenny

I'm really starting to think I was a witch in my past life. From my mom's last name to some recurring dreams I had when I was younger...Idk, maybe..

*Breathes deeply* Aah. Fresh air. Smells nice! It's been far too long, but exactly what I needed. I want to do it right this time so it'll be perfect next time.

There are things that I need to do more of in my next relationship and there are things I need to do less of. Each relationship is a learning experience and I am REALLY ready to meet "Thx One". I keep saying this, but I'm 26 almost and I still haven't found a man who is on the same page as me. I'm almost 30 for God's sake. Maybe I'm just too picky and should just take what I've been getting...but I know I deserve soo much more than what I've had. I don't know, I think I'll wait for however long it takes to get what I really want. I'm too good to settle for the B.S. I've been getting.

-Jenn

I'm almost 26. I know what I want, but I don't have it yet..not even close. It shouldn't be this hard but it is this hard..for me. I'll just have to pray on it.

i have been "reading" a lot of stephen king books. i listen to his books and stories at work and so far, i've listened to:

-Carrie
-Salem's Lot
-The Shining
-Jerusalem's Lot
-Graveyard Shift
-Night Surf
-The Mangler
-The Boogeyman
-Gray Matter
-Battleground
-Sometimes They Come Back
-Strawberry Spring
-The Ledge
-The Lawnmower Man
-Quitters, Inc.
-I Know What You Need
-The Last Rung on the Ladder
-The Man Who Loved Flowers
-The Woman in the Room
-The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger
-Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption
-Apt Pupil
-The Body
-The Breathing Method
-Pet Cemetery
-The Talisman
-The Monkey
-Mrs. Todd's Shortcut
-The Raft
-Gerald's Game
-Rainy Season
-Suffer the Little Children
-The Green Mile
-Desperation
-Bag of Bones
-The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon
-Hearts in Atlantis
-Blood and Smoke
-Riding the Bullet
-Dreamcatcher
-Black House
-Autopsy Room Four
-The Man in the Black Suit
-All That You Love Will Be Carried Away
-The Death of Jack Hamilton
-In the Deathroom
-The Little Sisters of Eluria
-Everything's Eventual
-L. T.'s Theory of Pets
-The Road Virus Heads North
-Lunch at the Gotham Cafe'
-That Feeling, You Can Only Say What It Is In French
-1408
-Luckey Quarter
-The Colorado Kid
-Cell
-Lisey's Story
-Duma Key
-Willa
-The Gingerbread Girl
-Harvey's Dream
-Rest Stop
-Stationary Bike
-The Things They Left Behind
-Graduation Afternoon
-N.
-The Cat From Hell
-The New York Times At Special Bargain Rates
-Mute
-Ayana
-A Very Tight Place
-Thinner

Believe it or not, this is not even half of the stuff Stephen King wrote. He's sooo good. I want to eventually read ALL of his writings. He's really good. And I've noticed that whenever he writes about a black person, they always seem to have some special power; whether it be telekinetic power, mind-reading power, healing power, it's always something. It's very interesting.

Anyway, back to this homework.

-Jenny

i actually got to use this line on someone for the first time the other week! LOL, it was hilarious (to me). they told me: "if you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours" and i said: "the funny thing about my back is...its located on my cock!" then i fell out. i finally got to use it! its been sitting in my back pocket for years and someone finally set me up to use it. LMAO.

i already can't wait to use it again the next time someone different asks me.

on another note, i finally set up an appointment with a therapist. let me tell you, BOA offers amazing benefits. i get my first three sessions absolutely free (no copay or nothing) then i am covered to go as many times as i want throughout the year, but i have to pay a $15 copay after the third free visit. that's not bad cause BOA gives us a $600 debit card to use for our copays each year (which is completely free to us). BOA has the best benefits ever, i swear. i get 24% off my sprint bill and we get discounts and reduced prices for like everything and the health benefits are just awesome. i think i pay like $25 a week, $100 a month for my health insurance and it is well worth it. even part time people get all these benefits. i don't ever want to leave BOA. i think once i find a full time job, i'm still gonna try to work part time for the bank just to keep the benfits. they have some positions that are only like 10 hours a week.

i'm trying to find a real job. soon. i ultimately want to end up out west, but idk. i need to do something soon.

so the therapy thing. i have my first appointment on tuesday. oh, and come to find out, my therapist graduated from gsu and told me that we can get free counseling at gsu each semester as students. well ok! but the problem is, i won't be a student after next semester, so i'll just stick with this chick i have. i wish i would have known this two years ago though. :-(

ok, ttyl.

-jenny

i'm sooo in LOVE with this game. gotta play it again real soon one of these weekends.



-jenn

PSA

This is a PSA for all of the men...

Fellas, if you run into a female that looks like this:



and this:



at another angle:



And just in case you weren't completely clear, here's a video of this thing in action. Again, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THIS THING!!!!

It's name is Kuato. It will make your penis sad:



That is all.

-courtesy of me,

jenny

and you know who else can get it? this guy:



he can GET IT all day.

and you know who else CAN NOT get it?? guys who wear brown hats with a green shirt/vest combo. WARM EARTH TONES are not for GROWN MEN!!! DENIED!!!

and you know who else CAN NOT get it?? guys named Mike Harris. #justsayin.

<3 jenny

I have been feeling extremely depressed lately. To the point where I want to cry. I've been so unhappy. i don't know what it is. its been this way for the past week or so. i hope i get over it soon though. its not a good look. i caught myself shedding a tear last night at work even because i was feeling so down. for no reason! i was on the verge of breaking down and crying hard for no reason at work last night. i had to stop and breath and calm down for a second. anyway...

so i'm planning on moving to new mexico within the next year. i'm really nervous about it and really excited. fresh start.

another new thing...ok, i've always been adamant about drake's fugliness. he was just not cute and i was never shy about saying it. however...drake has been stepping up his sexy. i am not mad at what he's talking about.



oh yeah. HE CAN GET IT. anytime any place.

i've been noticing how much in love with facial hair. whether it be stubble (heavy stubble though), a full mustache, a nice beard...i love it. it gets me hot. it represents manliness. and that's what i want, a rugged manly man.

i want a man with a really deep voice, a lot of facial hair, over 6 feet tall, HONEST, will laugh at my jokes and has jokes for me to laugh at, has an awesome job with benefits, has a car, no kids (not at this stage in my life), someone who doesn't have EX issues or baby mama drama.

when i move to new mexico, i'm gonna find me a native american man that fits the bill. i think i'll find him too. man, can you imagine me with a native american?? that would make for some really good looking babies! those baby would have hella cheeks too, lol. yeah, that sounds like a plan. i'll be on the hunt.

the prototype that i'm looking for?? this dude right here:



if anybody can get it...he can get it. more so than gavin degraw!!!

this fine piece of man here is Jason Momoa. he's 31, from hawaii, and he's part native american, german (what what!), irish (like my boo conan), and Hawaiin. he's 6'4 and dude is DOING IT! his eyes are gorgeous. and i cannot believe that Lisa Bonet booed this dude up. this is her boyfriend and baby daddy. lucky bitch.

he was in the movie "Johnson Family Vacation" (the clip below at around 0.37 seconds) but he's supposedly most known for "Stargate Atlantis" on SciFi (never seen it!).



so don't be surprised when you see a dude who looks like this on my arm out there in the new mexico desert.

you know one dude that can't get it?? this ugly dude right here:



DENIED!!! lil wayne is looking real rough in jail. NOT CUTE BOO!!!

i got most of these pics from mediatakeout.com by the way. i love that site now.

ok, before i go, there's one more dude that can get it. this guy, Brett Young.



yeah, HE CAN GET IT too.

he's a singer. i first heard one of his songs on an episode of the Real World and i was just like, "that sounds just like Gavin Degraw". i figured out who he was and listened to some of his music online. one of his songs, "Let it All In". i am so in love with this song. he sings the hell out of it. he did a cover of "Walking in Memphis", just like Gavin Degraw did, but guess who's was better? yep, my boo GDG...of course. i'm sure gavin could even sing "Let it all in" better than this dude, but i must admit that this dude is much cuter than gavin. sorry, boo!

here's brett's song that i am soooooo in love with right now.

Let it All In by Brett Young

ok, well all that sexiness lifted my spirits a bit. hopefully my mood will be lited for the rest of the day anyway, cause i really have been feeling shitty and depressed.

ta ta for now.

<3 jenny

this is a pic of my mom that i found on my sister's myspace page. i haven't seen her in years. i think this pic was taken around this time last year. i miss my mom. i gotta go to florida one day soon to visit. she got that asian eye. her eyes are wide open in this pic. they call my mom "red". she's a red bone. they called her "china doll" back in the day too. i get my eyes from her. i get my cheeks from my dad though. i think i got my teeth from my mom too cause all my brothers and sisters from her side have big teeth. my skin comes from my dad. my temper definitely comes from my mom. brains from my dad. independence comes from me.

-jenn

so after this semester, i only have nine more credits that i need to graduate. so i'll be graduating in may. that means i'll be free to apply to jobs...unless i still wanna try for medical school. but i'm not sure if i want to at this point. i just want to go ahead and get a career started. i'm gonna be 26 soon (damn!) and i don't think i can handle like 7 more years of school. i'll be around 33-ish and have a but load of debt to pay off.

by that time, i already wanna be married with a house and kids and be already established in a career. so i was thinking about all this and i think that after i get my masters in a few months, it's time to make big moves. over the past few days, i've been doing some research. i found TONS of jobs out west that i can actually do! jobs that only require that you have a master's in biology (experience is not required), so my hopes are really up right now. i think i'm going to start applying for those jobs around March. and hopefully by this time next year, i can be long gone from atlanta, georgia. i really only came back in 2007 to finish up school. i did plan on going to medical school here and working in the area, but atlanta wasn't as cracked up and great as i remember it being. i'm ready to peace out of this lame ass place. start fresh somewhere else. and the possibilities are really exciting to me.

so hopefully by this time next year, i'll be blogging in a new state and happy to be working in the science field and not being in school anymore. being a career student just isn't for me.

i'm 26. i'm a virgin. but again, i'm 26. i've wanted a family for a really long time. i come from a really big family. both my grandparents had over 10 kids a piece, i'm one of 11 kids. i want to have kids too. and if i don't get to have 10, that's fine too, i just want some. and i'm tired of meeting these loser "boys". i need to meet a good "man". these boys around here, especially georgia, are kinda wack. so are these old ass men that keep trying to holla. out west, i'll be looking for a 30+, mature man with a job (with benefits), car, his own place (house, not apt...30 is too old not to have your own house). i just can't deal with the immaturity these young dudes bring to relationships. and i can't have ex drama. as soon as i know of ex issues, i'm out. i can't do it.

but anyway, i've been working on revamping my resume to add by B.S. and then my M.S. and...i cannot tell you how EXCITED i am about finally getting to New Mexico and moving on. i'm only gonna renew my lease for 6 months in april and not for the typical year because i'm really not planning on being here. which means that packing now wouldn't entirely be out of the question.

well anyway, i've been enjoying my labor day weekend. i got quite a few things done. got a HELLUVA LOT of sleep. it's been a good weekend. hopefully next weekend will be just as awesome.

ok, gonna do some more cleaning then get some more sleep. peace y'all.

-jennifer

i was talking to sam the other day about that dude that's always dancing in downtown atlanta at five points. i was telling her that i hadn't seen him in months and lo and behold, she saw him the very next day! just gettting down. this is my absolute favorite video of him on youtube. i couldn't find any newer ones since the last time i looked, but this is still my favorite. he always hangs out right in front of the Sports Profile at the 5 Points Marta Station and he just kills it. i laughed so hard just now watching this video. everytime i see it, i bust my gut. anyway, here it is.



then i found this video on youtube. it's not that dude that is always dancing downtown, but this shit in this video happens every single day in downtown atlanta. this video was shot right down the street from georgia state, going towards aderhold. this video is hilarious.



lol, i love how in the beginning of this video when the crackhead first starts to dance, the cameraman says "just the good foot, just the good foot". lol! H.A.M.

bye!

-jenn

i've been rediscovering rachel ray's "$40 a day". me and sam used to watch this show on the weekends and during the summer at my apartment in charlotte. i really really really miss those times. but it comes on twice a day now on the travel channel. me and sam both can't stand the woman, she's so corny. she uses these made up words ("yum-o") and has this stupid ass laugh. and the number one pet peeve that i can't stand about her is that whenever they give her a lemon on the side of her glass of water or on the side of her plate with her fish, she ALWAYS!!!!! uses it!!! come on rachel! everytime?!?! it doesn't need to be used every time. she'll squeeze it in her water and on her fish. she's such a ho.

anyway, that got me to thinking about what chris rock said about her and that in turn got me thinking about torrey's little crush on her. here's the clip. its really bootleg, but its the only one i could find.



-jennifer

You know how a boxer keeps getting hit & they get hit 1 hard time and never fully recover from it? They keep trying to stand until they just lay down/give up.

I said once before that i wanted to have sex with a handful of people, but after thinking about it for a bit, i would be perfectly fine with just 1.

Well its official. I am now an Ordained Minister who can legally perform weddings and marriages throughout the U.S. How awesome and random is that? But its true

i have lived in a:

-house
-apartment
-duplex
-trailer home
-efficiency
-hotel
-car
-with family members
-foster home
-been homeless

i have lived in:
-germany
-texas
-arizona
-florida
-north carolina
-south carolina
-massachusetts
-georgia

my brothers are:
-israel
-c.j.
-alan
-josh
-t.j.
-mikey
-landon

my sisters are:
-jevonne
-sam
-katrina

i've had a few boyfriends:
-daniel
-lamar
-torrey
-lance

just thought i'd make some lists today.

my next list is gonna look like this:
-new mexico
-big effing house
-rich, handsome, doctor husband
-dog
-parrott
-nice sports car that goes from 1 mph - 60 mph in 2 seconds flat
-friends

of course, i want to add on to that list.

my next blog is gonna be a list of qualities that are in my perfect man...the one that's waiting on me to find him. i will one day. soon i hope.

-jenn

i don't think i'm gonna block my blog after all. i'll just be more ambiguous about my identity (not so much for others, especially people who want to act the fuck up). i've deleted my profile picture and i'll stop using my name.

also, i think i'll take a little hiatus from posting new blogs for a while. i need to take a breather.

so until then...

-jennifer

kids LOOOOOOOOVE chicken nuggets. and that's a fact! if they're under 5, they love chicken nuggets.

Daaaaaammnnn!!! I've never had this many random readers on my blog before. Uh, i'm thinkng this is going private effective really soon. Ok!

and i know i said i wouldn't mention this incident again, but i forgot one thing...

lance had just told me a couple of days ago how our exes were playing too big a role in our relationship. how our exes were ruining our relationship. lmfao!! boy was he right!! but only on his part, not at all on my part. so what...torrey left a couple messages on my blog that were a bit iffy, but this asshole was sending his ex emails confessing his deep love for her. what nerve!! lol. wow. he talked about how we need to not let our exes interfere with the relationship that he and i were building. i'm sorry, but he's one of the most selfish people i have ever met in my life. there, i'm done (hopefully!). just one time, one time i want this crap to happen to him, i really do. i want him to see how it feels. it sucks. what goes around comes around. i am a full believer in karma. ok, i'm done!

ttywigb.

-jenn

so vickey knows my situation now. that's embarassing cause vickey has a big mouth. she likes to tell people that have no business knowing my business, my business. but she asked about him and how he was doing and i had to tell her about his indiscretions with his ex. she was like, "wow, i thought he was the best of all your boyfriends. looks like he was the worst. or the second worst. we both know who the worst was." then she told me that i spend way too much time with my boyfriends and that in the future i need to give them less access to me. i guess i kinda agree with that. with every single one of my boyfriends, we always spend sooo much time together. i need to stop letting guys spend the night all the time and not come over to my place. we need to meet up somewhere if we want to hang out and, surprisingly, this is some advice that i will actually take from vickey in the future. she said i needed to be single for a long time and that i just jump into relationships. this is true also. it's just my pattern. i like the companionship. i like being with someone and having someone want me that i want back. but for real for real this time, i really do want to stay single for a while. and she said i needed to just date around more and not jump into a relationship too fast. but i actually did that with torrey and my most recent ex (i won't mention his name again). i talked to them for some weeks before i made it official, but i suppose it needs to be longer than that. she told me how black men are so coniving. true again. she told me i needed to not date a black man and get with another race. i think i should try that. black dudes ain't bout shit. well, most of them, i can't say all. hell, i need to drop men all together and get a girlfriend. but those bitches probably do the same thing as guys do. *sigh*

ok, back to sleep. i slept for the first time (after i wrote the previous blog) since yesterday's episode with my ex. sleep does a hell of a lot of good. i feel scores better than i did since yesterday and for the first time since then, i know i'm gonna be just fine.

ok, gonna take a nap then do some homework. ttyl.

-jenn

so i've been thinking a lot about having sex with a virgin lately. i think that two people giving up their virginities would probably be really lame in theory, but it SOUNDS really nice, doesn't it? two people who have never ever been intimate with any other person, wanting to share something that close for the first time together. i think that sounds really special.

every year i say i want to not be a virgin by the end of the year, but it never works. i think i've told myself that since i was like 21 or 22, but i just can never do it. the thing is, i'm going to be 26 on my next birthday (daaaamn!!! for reals?!?!) and i really, truly don't need to be a 26 year old virgin, i mean, look at me. i'm sexy, come on (in the words of mikeharris from mediatakeout which i am now becoming obsessed with).

on another note...the other day i realized something. i realized that the entire time that i was with lamar, my hair did not want to grow at all! i was so stressed being with him, my hair fell out a couple times when i was stressing over him. it wasn't good. but when i got with torrey, it really started to grow. and even after torrey, it's still growing. i just needed to get away from lamar. he was my hair's bad luck charm. i cut some bangs back in february and my bangs grew back out real quick. my hair is just getting longer and longer every day and i'm loving it!

sam and vickey and landon are in charlotte right now visiting josh and the baby. i am so jealous! well that'll be me in a couple weeks. and i am so excited to see her.

ok, gotta go.

ttywigb (figure it out)

-jennifer

i heard this song for the first time yesterday and...yeah...



Hmm...hmm...mmm...mmm...

Tonight is the night
That you make me a woman, mmm...
You said you’ll be gentle with me
And I-I hope you will, mmm...mmm...

I’m nervous and I’m tremblin’
Waitin’ for you to walk in
I’m tryin’ hard to relax
But I just can’t keep still, no

I can hear your car door slammin’
I wanna play big girl and put on a sexy smile
But I know so little about what love is
I just can’t help actin’ like a child

You’re knockin’ on my door and you’re ringin’ my bell
Hope you’re not impatient after waiting so very long
A whole year I put you off with my silly hang-ups
And we’re both old enough to know right from wrong

Tonight is the night
That you make me a woman, mmm...
You said you’ll be gentle with me
And I-I hope you will, hmm...mmm...
I’m nervous and I’m tremblin’
Waitin’ for you to walk in
Tryin’ hard to relax
But I just can’t keep still

Mmm...hey, baby
Ho, ho, baby
Ho...yeah...yeah...

Oh, but what if my mama should come home early
And catch us doin’ what we’re doin’
Not only will I never live it down
But my whole family relationship it’ll all be ruined
But we’ve gone a little bit too far now
Oh, to turn around
So let’s just pray
That true love is what we’ve found

Tonight, tonight
Tonight, tonight

Ho, I’ll never forget tonight
No, no, I’ll never forget tonight
That’s when you make me feel real, mmm...hmm...
You make me feel real, real good
Oh...oh...whoa...oh...oh...whoa...whoa...
Yeah, and I wanna thank your love
Said I’ve got to thank your love
‘Cause you make me feel good
And I love you, baby
I love you and I know it
And I ain’t too proud to show it
‘Cause I love you, baby
And I need you, baby
I want you, my love, my love
My, my, my baby
I’ll never forget tonight
No, I’ll never forget tonight
‘Cause you make me feel good
And I love you, baby
You make me feel real good
And I love you, baby
‘Cause you gave me
Uh, uh, pure love, yeah
Uh, uh, uh, pure love
Said I like that, baby
Uh, uh, pure love
Said I need that, sugar
Uh-uh-uh, pure love
There’s nothin’ phony about it
Uh-uh, pure love


Your love I can’t do without it
Uh-uh-uh, pure love, ooh

I love him, I know it
I ain’t too proud to show it
I love him, I know it
I ain’t too proud to show it
I love him, I know it
I ain’t too proud to show it
I love him, I know it
And I ain’t too proud to show it

Tonight, tonight
Tonight, tonight
Mmm...mmm...mmm...

Thank you
Thank you


-Jennifer

i wanted to blog about something specific, but now i can't remember what it was about. wah wah wah!

-jennifer

so i have this thing about guys who date girls who are virgins. a lot of guys like to date virgins cause they think they're gonna be the first guy to get up in that...but you know what, i think it turns around and bites guys in the ass in the end. they get with these girls and think that they're gonna get in that vagina, but they end up falling in love and never ever getting to have sex with them and it drives them crazy.

they fall in love, but they never get to have sex with them, so they get stuck on them forever. forever they'll have this attraction or a piece of their heart with these virgins cause they never got to give them a piece of their penis. and that's what it is. i've never slept with a single boyfriend, but i'm sure they all will hold a place for me in their hearts cause really, without all the sex, you really get to know a person and you truly get to fall in love with someone. you don't get bogged down with all that sex business.

but anyway, i'm just saying that the relationships you have in life, those long ones where you never have sex with the other person, are the most meaningful ones i think. sex just messes stuff up. leave the sex to those chickenhead hood rats from around the way and leave the meaningful relationships to us virgins. but guys want both, and so do the virgins...eventually. but this is what happens, guys always mess up the meaningful relationship with the virgins cause they want the sex with the hoodrats. its so silly. boys are so silly, cause that's what they are...boys. boys who can't see what's important in life.

now i'm not talking about anyone in particular, but i guess out of all of my exes that i could apply this to, i suppose i would have to apply it to lamar the most. granted, we did date for over five years, so i suppose i can't really blame him for straying, but he didn't have to lead me on for so long as if he weren't straying. as if i was the only one. but i've moved on to bigger and better things, so i won't sweat that right now.

what made me write about this though, was a book i was reading i think, i can't really remember. but i knew i had to say something about it.

it's good to be a virgin. we're the good guys. we get to stay alive at the end of scary movies. how can you hate us?

-jenny

You ever had a kiss soo hot you just had to say DAAAAAAMMMMNNNN! Those are always good right? I hadn't had one of those in a while...but i had one yesterday :-D

Over the past year or so, i've realized that i'm REALLY INTO facial hair on men. The more the better. I'm into that rugged, masculine look. Beards and mustaches

i'm so unlucky :-(

I'm starting to feel really depressed today :(

this is gonna be a long ass week.

-jennifer

And my babies would be really good looking...obviously!

and b-t-dubs...i misspelled my new niece's name. her name is spelled "Channel Nashae Anderson". i suppose Channel Anderson isn't that bad. awww. so precious. i want one of those things...one day...soon. i know i'd be a really good mom.

-jenny

so this is my beautiful beautiful new neice. her name is shanelle nashae anderson. it's ghetto as hell, the mother came up with the name, not my brother. it's josh's new daughter. she's so cute. vickey and sam are gonna go to charlotte this weekend to see her. i can't. i have class and work. i'm gonna try to go to charlotte in august to see her.

-jenn

I feel like i need more in my life right now. I don't exactly know what... but something more.

This is so lame, i can't even sleep at night anymore now that i started full time at night. I try so hard, but i can't. Waaah!

this....right here....is my....jam.

with soulja boy's ugly ass.

me and sam were getting down to this song today...



so i read, or listened to precious, the actual book. it was insane! it was sooo disturbing. i have to go now, but i will write about it later. ttyl.

-jennifer

For reals bro? For reals?

Sometimes, i just want to scream until my throat bleeds. This is one of those times.

I'M A VERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN! thats all i wanted to say.

I officially go full time tomorrow. Gotta start paying for this new car i bought. Next, i want LASIK eye surgery then after that, a house...but not in Georgia!

So he told me that he hasn't gotten me flowers yet cause i haven't had sex with him yet. What a fucking tool. Damn porch monkey is acting the fck up. Whatevs.

I'm running on adrenaline right now. Its been waay too long since i've slept. FML.

I always blog a lot in the summer and during Christmas break cause i don't have anything else to do! But i'm about to go full time at the bank so bye-bye blog.

One day i'm gonna get my Beyonce weave on. All roight!!

I REALLY think there's something wrong with my brain--like for real. I need it to be scanned. That would just be icing on the cake.

Sex in the New Mexico desert would be VERY interesting. Definitely one of the first things on my "To Do List".

I want to end up with someone who's gonna make me laugh and who's gonna chase/hunt aliens with me in the desert when we get old. Wouldn't that just be perfect?

This road trip to New Mexico needs to happen REALLY soon. It would be so beautiful driving all the way out there, watching the sun set on that western horizon.

My trust in men is completely shot. How can you trust them? They're all the same. They're all after the same stuff and they all lie. They're all the same :(

I want a microscope. Like a real heavy duty microscope. I wanna look at all kinds of stuff. I need to do some research on whats the best one to get.

I've been having really bad headaches everyday and laughing/giggling really hard almost every night in my sleep. I'm gonna get my brain scanned for a tumor :-/

I think today is gonna be really productive. I hope so anyway. Got lots to do. The more i unpack, the more memories i unpack from Charlotte. Some good some bad

So i got this tattoo on my finger. Most PAINFUL one yet. I'm having second thoughts about #'s 5 & 6 on my feet (bulls). I can already imagine :-/

damn, i shoulda cropped some of those huh? oh wells.

-jenn

here are some more pics i like. i'm gonna have to upload the whole collection onto facebook soon.






-jenny

so i just turned 25. a few weeks ago, me and sam were walking through the underground. apparently, one of her coworkers was there and saw us and came up to her the next day and told her that she saw sam at the underground with her little sister.

i get that all the time. so this pic of me is from spring break and i just look...like i'm not a 25 year old woman. i was at this sushi place with vickey and landon and sam the other day and vickey ordered a margarita and when the waitress brought it to the table, i grabbed vickey's drink and took a sip and the waitress started looking at me all cross eyed and said "ma'am, i hope you're 21". i looked at that bitch right back cross eyed and told her "bitch, i'm 25." ok, i didn't say all that, but i was thinking it. and vickey was like, "that's my daughter, she's 25. i wouldn't let her drink it if she wasn't 21." the waitress giggled then left. what a ho fa sho. but i ain't mad at her. she said i looked 17. i'll take it. hell, i'm 25. i'm getting at the age where it's not really annoying anymore, but a compliment.

anyway, here's the pic.




it was spring break and i had just finished washing my hair and its getting to the length now where it won't fro out when i wash it and blow dry it, it just kinda lays down. anyway, this is after i blow dried it and was about to straighten it...that's why it's lookin all kinds of crazy. but i think i may make this my new facebook pic. i really like it. it's so goofy.

ok, i'm gonna go take a nap before work. bye bye.

-jenny "what in the effing fuck!!" jenn jenn

As you go through a relationship, at some point you get the feeling that you want to be intimate--and i NEVER get that feeling. Which is why I'm getting therapy

If i could, i would eat hot wings every single day of my life. They definitely need to be at my wedding. I'm just hood like that.

Its 4:22 pm.

WHAT?! He said i need to take anger management classes. And he was serious! Boy stop! I'm just a Taurus. Thats why i'm getting a tattoo of a bull on each foot.

So i can't stop thinking about Torrey since i saw him on Tuesday after the comedy show. It was bittersweet. Ok, i'm done now. I won't mention it again. 'Night.

I'll be 25 in exactly one week from today. Still haven't gotten it on, but thats ok. I've been through SOO much in 25 years, yet not enough. To be continued...

It was REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY good to see him. I miss him. I want him in my life again. I just want to be friends, but i want him back

Its 4 something in the morning, i'm at work, my head is banging, and i just want to go home and go to bed. New tattoos (3) in about 3-4 weeks. I'm excited. Ttyl

You won't see me cry. You won't even see me break a sweat -cause bitch i'm BAD!