spring break '09...
four weeks away.
is it gonna be charlotte or st. pete?
we'll see.
jenny " 'what are you doing?' 'just drilling holes. it's the last two weeks of school. fuck it!' " jenn jenn
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
i was at the library getting an MCAT book to study and this man stopped me and asked was i in high school. i guess he thought i was skipping class, because it was early in the afternoon. i told him that i went to georgia state (duh! i had on my georgia state sweatshirt) and he was like, 'oh, you look like you're 16! i'm sorry.' so that is sooo annoying. i am still getting that. i first started getting that when i was like 14, 15. i'm almost 24 and i'm still getting it. well at least it's up from 12. i used to get 12 allll the time. now i'm getting numbers like 16 - 19. when i'm 30 and 40, i'm gonna look like i'm in my 20s. they say you can tell what a girl is gonna look like when she's old by looking at her mom. well that clearly is not the case with me. my mom is 53 and she looks a little older than that. that's not gonna be me. i'm gonna be 53 and look like i'm in my 30s (if even that). so i guess i shouldn't be complaining now.
i wore pigtails the other day and my girlfriend was like...'girl, you lookin like a little girl' when she saw me and torrey was like 'what, you trying to look young?' or something like that. so i took those out when i got home. i can't be having that.
torrey asked me the other day why i don't drink anymore and it's because the last time i drank, i got so messed up. i threw up, my stomach was banging. now when i even smell alcohol, i get sick. plus, i just don't have time. i work on the weekends and work on the weekdays, so there's no time for me to deal with any hangovers. when i drink, i like to drink to the point of intoxication, not just casual drinking. but i've been thinking about it, and i think i do want to get fucked up again. i think i may have to holla at that thought.
my drug of choice now is mary jane baby! the thing with me and marijuana is this...it makes me feel really good. it makes me feel really happy and free. i'm that person who, when they smoke marijuana, starts laughing at EVERYTHING! and when i say EVERYTHING, i mean EVERYTHING. i can't believe that i'm that person. usually, when i smoke, i smoke with 'xxxxx' and 'yyyyyyy' and sometimes 'zzzzzzz'. i'm not gonna say their names because who knows who could be reading this. but i'll be smoking with them and they'll start feeling it right away. 'xxxxx' just gets really loose and relaxed when she smokes. 'yyyyyyy' gets relaxed and cool too. 'zzzzzz' gets really paranoid when she smokes. i mean, she gets really paranoid. and me, i just start laughing my ass off. i laughed so hard one time, i seriously thought i might have died. i could not breath, but i could not stop laughing. and it was just deep, continuous laughter for like a really long time. one time, 'xxxxxx' said "and his lip was like this" and made this stupid face and i just lost it. i laughed harder than i ever laughed in my entire life and it wasn't even that funny. i mean, i always end up on my knees, on the floor, on my back laughing. it's so uncontrollable. torrey thinks its an act, but it really isn't. i really do be feeling that shit.
so i'm that girl. i'm that person. i guess it's cause i'm so silly anyways and always laughing and joking, it's really appropriate that i'd be that person. i haven't smoked in a weeks because i'm afraid they'll do a random drug test at my job, but i've been there for months and they haven't done one yet. they haven't even said that they do do those, so i think after my exams this week and after my exam next monday, ya girl is gonna get fucked up.
jenny "who's ready to get fuucked up?" jenn jenn
i wore pigtails the other day and my girlfriend was like...'girl, you lookin like a little girl' when she saw me and torrey was like 'what, you trying to look young?' or something like that. so i took those out when i got home. i can't be having that.
torrey asked me the other day why i don't drink anymore and it's because the last time i drank, i got so messed up. i threw up, my stomach was banging. now when i even smell alcohol, i get sick. plus, i just don't have time. i work on the weekends and work on the weekdays, so there's no time for me to deal with any hangovers. when i drink, i like to drink to the point of intoxication, not just casual drinking. but i've been thinking about it, and i think i do want to get fucked up again. i think i may have to holla at that thought.
my drug of choice now is mary jane baby! the thing with me and marijuana is this...it makes me feel really good. it makes me feel really happy and free. i'm that person who, when they smoke marijuana, starts laughing at EVERYTHING! and when i say EVERYTHING, i mean EVERYTHING. i can't believe that i'm that person. usually, when i smoke, i smoke with 'xxxxx' and 'yyyyyyy' and sometimes 'zzzzzzz'. i'm not gonna say their names because who knows who could be reading this. but i'll be smoking with them and they'll start feeling it right away. 'xxxxx' just gets really loose and relaxed when she smokes. 'yyyyyyy' gets relaxed and cool too. 'zzzzzz' gets really paranoid when she smokes. i mean, she gets really paranoid. and me, i just start laughing my ass off. i laughed so hard one time, i seriously thought i might have died. i could not breath, but i could not stop laughing. and it was just deep, continuous laughter for like a really long time. one time, 'xxxxxx' said "and his lip was like this" and made this stupid face and i just lost it. i laughed harder than i ever laughed in my entire life and it wasn't even that funny. i mean, i always end up on my knees, on the floor, on my back laughing. it's so uncontrollable. torrey thinks its an act, but it really isn't. i really do be feeling that shit.
so i'm that girl. i'm that person. i guess it's cause i'm so silly anyways and always laughing and joking, it's really appropriate that i'd be that person. i haven't smoked in a weeks because i'm afraid they'll do a random drug test at my job, but i've been there for months and they haven't done one yet. they haven't even said that they do do those, so i think after my exams this week and after my exam next monday, ya girl is gonna get fucked up.
jenny "who's ready to get fuucked up?" jenn jenn
sex is soooo overated. like, when you think about it...sex should just be a perk in a relationship. it should be something that just makes the relationship better. it shouldn't be the thing that makes or breaks the relationship. the relationship should already be banging before that. it should just be the icing on the cake.
and i got all that from watching The Tool Academy on VH1. its a show about girlfriends who brought their boyfriends to this tool academy because they were huge d-bags and the girlfriends wanted the boyfriends to change. but this one tool said that and it just clicked in me. that's exactly right. that's exactly what sex should be. but its just so casual and thrown around. i guess i'm just from the old school. i think you should be with a guy and be in love with them before you sleep with them. and i swear i'm the only one who thinks this way today. and it's not that i haven't been in love with guys, it just hasn't felt like the right time for me.
the only person i know that's my age and still a virgin is, incidentally enough, daniel. me and daniel went out in high school like two months before i went out with HIM. and for a guy to still be a virgin at 23, i really dig that. i'm gonna be 24 in three months. 24 and no "p" in the "va-gee" (that's from superbad).
i've seen superbad like 100 times now. i pretty much know all the words now. it is so funny.
but anyways...sex. i'm about to turn 24, i'm about to graduate from college, i'm a black girl. it's like, i've beaten all of the odds. i know girls who are 14, 15, 16 who already have kids. i said "kids" with an "s". it's just like...i'm about to be out of my prime. when my mom was 24, she already had two kids. i'm gonna be 30 in 6 years. oh my god! 6 years isn't far from now.
i want to have kids and a big house and a husband and a dog and a nice car (maybe two), and my family, and above everything else...i want to be really really happy. i'm not gonna be able to have half of that unless i start giving it up.
i'm seriously thinking i may need to go see someone about this. like a professional. i have some problems. i have some problems and i need some resolutions. i can't be this way. i'm never gonna keep a guy if i stay this way. a guy hears that you're a virgin and they want to be with you cause they think that they'll be the one that you're gonna give it up to, but when they realize that they aren't the one...they start messing around and they eventually just lose interest and want to go somewhere else.
but i'm ranting because i'm frustrated right now. i was fine all day and i didn't even start thinking about this until i sat down and started watching "seeing other people". i love the movie, but it just puts me in a bad mood. it makes me take a long hard look at myself. maybe i shouldn't watch it anymore. but it's so good.
but it's not like i don't want sex. i do want sex. it just makes me sooooo uncomfortable to think of actually doing it. i'll be making out with torrey sometimes and think to myself, 'i wish he'd just rip all my clothes off, bend me over, and just have me.' but when i think about it, i think 'i don't really want to do that.'
but on a positive note...i don't have to worry about STDs, pregnancy scares, all that crap.
i'm scared to death that i will never get over this.
for the longest time after me and HIM ended, i thought that i didn't want to have kids for a long time (i had started thinking how much i really wanted kids when i was with HIM). but recently, it's been sneaking up on me again. i'm almost 24, i'm at the childbearing age (i have been for a while), and now i can't wait (again) to have kids of my own. i used to want to have a son first, but now i really want to have a little girl.
on that note, i'm about to go...i'm getting more and more depressed.
the scene on "seeing other people" just came on where the alice and her fiance ed were arguing about seeing other people and sleeping with other people. she was talking about how he had slept with so many people and he was talking about how she was only sleeping with one. she said "you're the one who's having all the meaningless sex!" and he said "i know, it's meaningless! i can't stand it, it's so meaningless!" but he's in love with her. he's so in love with her. and then this book i had to read for my english class, So Long a Letter by Mariama Ba, this African dude is a really rich lawyer and he marries this girl that he's so in love with. his parents don't like her cause she's kinda poor and lower class than them, but he really loves her and wants to be with her, regardless. and then his mother finds out this other girl for him to marry (they're muslim, so they're allowed to have three wives) and he does. he says he only does because his mom is making him and she would be so sad if he refuses. so he marries this young girl and sleeps with her and everything. has all these kids by her. the first wife left him and he talks about how much he misses her and wants to be with her and only her and is only with the younger girl because his mom is making him, but he continues to sleep with this other girl and have all of these kids by her.
that's a dude for you.
ok, i'm really gonna go now. i have a genetics test and micro test to study for. peace out.
jenny "what, you want me to eat my desert by myself like i'm fucking steven glansburg" jenn jenn
and i got all that from watching The Tool Academy on VH1. its a show about girlfriends who brought their boyfriends to this tool academy because they were huge d-bags and the girlfriends wanted the boyfriends to change. but this one tool said that and it just clicked in me. that's exactly right. that's exactly what sex should be. but its just so casual and thrown around. i guess i'm just from the old school. i think you should be with a guy and be in love with them before you sleep with them. and i swear i'm the only one who thinks this way today. and it's not that i haven't been in love with guys, it just hasn't felt like the right time for me.
the only person i know that's my age and still a virgin is, incidentally enough, daniel. me and daniel went out in high school like two months before i went out with HIM. and for a guy to still be a virgin at 23, i really dig that. i'm gonna be 24 in three months. 24 and no "p" in the "va-gee" (that's from superbad).
i've seen superbad like 100 times now. i pretty much know all the words now. it is so funny.
but anyways...sex. i'm about to turn 24, i'm about to graduate from college, i'm a black girl. it's like, i've beaten all of the odds. i know girls who are 14, 15, 16 who already have kids. i said "kids" with an "s". it's just like...i'm about to be out of my prime. when my mom was 24, she already had two kids. i'm gonna be 30 in 6 years. oh my god! 6 years isn't far from now.
i want to have kids and a big house and a husband and a dog and a nice car (maybe two), and my family, and above everything else...i want to be really really happy. i'm not gonna be able to have half of that unless i start giving it up.
i'm seriously thinking i may need to go see someone about this. like a professional. i have some problems. i have some problems and i need some resolutions. i can't be this way. i'm never gonna keep a guy if i stay this way. a guy hears that you're a virgin and they want to be with you cause they think that they'll be the one that you're gonna give it up to, but when they realize that they aren't the one...they start messing around and they eventually just lose interest and want to go somewhere else.
but i'm ranting because i'm frustrated right now. i was fine all day and i didn't even start thinking about this until i sat down and started watching "seeing other people". i love the movie, but it just puts me in a bad mood. it makes me take a long hard look at myself. maybe i shouldn't watch it anymore. but it's so good.
but it's not like i don't want sex. i do want sex. it just makes me sooooo uncomfortable to think of actually doing it. i'll be making out with torrey sometimes and think to myself, 'i wish he'd just rip all my clothes off, bend me over, and just have me.' but when i think about it, i think 'i don't really want to do that.'
but on a positive note...i don't have to worry about STDs, pregnancy scares, all that crap.
i'm scared to death that i will never get over this.
for the longest time after me and HIM ended, i thought that i didn't want to have kids for a long time (i had started thinking how much i really wanted kids when i was with HIM). but recently, it's been sneaking up on me again. i'm almost 24, i'm at the childbearing age (i have been for a while), and now i can't wait (again) to have kids of my own. i used to want to have a son first, but now i really want to have a little girl.
on that note, i'm about to go...i'm getting more and more depressed.
the scene on "seeing other people" just came on where the alice and her fiance ed were arguing about seeing other people and sleeping with other people. she was talking about how he had slept with so many people and he was talking about how she was only sleeping with one. she said "you're the one who's having all the meaningless sex!" and he said "i know, it's meaningless! i can't stand it, it's so meaningless!" but he's in love with her. he's so in love with her. and then this book i had to read for my english class, So Long a Letter by Mariama Ba, this African dude is a really rich lawyer and he marries this girl that he's so in love with. his parents don't like her cause she's kinda poor and lower class than them, but he really loves her and wants to be with her, regardless. and then his mother finds out this other girl for him to marry (they're muslim, so they're allowed to have three wives) and he does. he says he only does because his mom is making him and she would be so sad if he refuses. so he marries this young girl and sleeps with her and everything. has all these kids by her. the first wife left him and he talks about how much he misses her and wants to be with her and only her and is only with the younger girl because his mom is making him, but he continues to sleep with this other girl and have all of these kids by her.
that's a dude for you.
ok, i'm really gonna go now. i have a genetics test and micro test to study for. peace out.
jenny "what, you want me to eat my desert by myself like i'm fucking steven glansburg" jenn jenn
Monday, January 12, 2009
my new years resolutions are not going how i wanted them to go. i don't think i'm following through with any of them.
i said i was gonna be doing the video posts but...nah. i had to think about that one. i don't know if i want video of myself on the web. that's not good. i even recorded a couple video blogs that i was gonna post, but i think it's no.
it's so cold outside. i never talk about the weather. i think we're gonna get some snow this year...hopefully. hopefully its on a day i have to go to work or class, which is everyday basically. that way i can stay in bed with my honey bunny all day. he's not really good at snuggling though. that's one thing i don't really like about him. i like to be snuggled. but anyway, i won't get into that.
oh, looks like i have about twelve classes left before i graduate and not ten after the spring, but that's still doable too. that's only six classes for summer then six for fall. very doable.
i need to do some homework. i'll holla bitches.
jenny
i said i was gonna be doing the video posts but...nah. i had to think about that one. i don't know if i want video of myself on the web. that's not good. i even recorded a couple video blogs that i was gonna post, but i think it's no.
it's so cold outside. i never talk about the weather. i think we're gonna get some snow this year...hopefully. hopefully its on a day i have to go to work or class, which is everyday basically. that way i can stay in bed with my honey bunny all day. he's not really good at snuggling though. that's one thing i don't really like about him. i like to be snuggled. but anyway, i won't get into that.
oh, looks like i have about twelve classes left before i graduate and not ten after the spring, but that's still doable too. that's only six classes for summer then six for fall. very doable.
i need to do some homework. i'll holla bitches.
jenny
Monday, January 05, 2009
i was just looking at my little course layout thing and i just realized that after this spring semester, i only have like ten more classes to go before i can graduate, which means this december. I can usually take about 8 classes at a time, so that means i may even have room to take some classes that I want to take just for fun.
woooow. at the end of the year, i'll be a college grad with a degree in biolog with a concentration in microbiolog and a minor in chemistry and i am gonna party my ass off. once i graduate, i am gonna go out to a club or something and just show out. i am so excited, i cannot wait.
woooow. at the end of the year, i'll be a college grad with a degree in biolog with a concentration in microbiolog and a minor in chemistry and i am gonna party my ass off. once i graduate, i am gonna go out to a club or something and just show out. i am so excited, i cannot wait.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
well, it's 2009. we all stayed home. it was me, sam, vickey, landon, and vickey's brother and his two sons and vickey's sister and her husband. we all pretty much sat in the living room and watched some comic view and then watched the ball drop. it was ok. i just hope next year is a lot more memorable.
so i'm being forced to say this (not really) but torrey says he will not stay with me if i cheat on him. (i still think he will).
moving right along. i've been told by a few guys that i seem hard. emotionless. i don't express my feelings as openly as most females do. i don't say 'oh i love you so much' or any of that. but that's just me. i don't know where it comes from or why i do it, but i'm gonna try to be more 'soft' about it. maybe it comes from having so many brothers and growing up with them. we're just not that way. i was a hardcore tomboy for the longest time until i got into high school. i think that's where it may come from. but i will work on it for the new year.
i will attempt my first video blog in a few short days, so i hope that goes well. we'll see how it turns out.
well all righty then. i'm bout to go cause you ain't even talkin about nothin. yeah yeah yeah, ok, love you to. bye.
jenni
so i'm being forced to say this (not really) but torrey says he will not stay with me if i cheat on him. (i still think he will).
moving right along. i've been told by a few guys that i seem hard. emotionless. i don't express my feelings as openly as most females do. i don't say 'oh i love you so much' or any of that. but that's just me. i don't know where it comes from or why i do it, but i'm gonna try to be more 'soft' about it. maybe it comes from having so many brothers and growing up with them. we're just not that way. i was a hardcore tomboy for the longest time until i got into high school. i think that's where it may come from. but i will work on it for the new year.
i will attempt my first video blog in a few short days, so i hope that goes well. we'll see how it turns out.
well all righty then. i'm bout to go cause you ain't even talkin about nothin. yeah yeah yeah, ok, love you to. bye.
jenni
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
its the last day of 2008. 2008 was my first full year back in atlanta.
in 2009, i plan on letting go of a lot of things:
i will no longer sweat the small stuff
i will no longer speak/think of past relationships
i will only look to the future
i will try to be more outgoing
i will make "genuine" friends
i'm gonna be a better person
out with the old and in with the new.
vickey and her brother and her sister and some of their friends are going out tonight and they want me to babysit. they want to go to the underground and then go out to a club after that. they invited me along, but the club scene is not my thing. then they wanted me to go just to be their designated driver. fuuuck that! see, if torrey was here, i could have an excuse to go someplace. maybe i'll go hang with riche. i think at midnight, i'll just be knocked out. it's going to be nothing special this year. i've never had a really awesome new year's. they have all been pretty lame. next year, i'm going all out cause i should be a college grad by then. i'll have something to actually celebrate.
i've been really unhappy these past couple of days. when i'm up, i'm really up and when i'm down, i'm really down. i'm feeling really depressed. i just can't wait for classes to start back up on monday so i'll have something to do and be out of this house. i'm trying to look for some place else to live. i've overstayed my welcome at vickeys.
i miss those days when i had my own place. sometimes i wish i could go back in time and do so many things differently. i've been thinking about this a lot lately. me and darnell were talking the other day and he was like, if i could go back that he thinks i wouldn't be a virgin right now. and i was like, i know you don't think i'd give it up to 'HIM'. i wouldn't have even bothered myself with 'HIM' if i could go back. and he said no, not to 'HIM'. he wouldn't say who though. but i think i'd still be this way, i would have just ended up with someone else. but it's a waste of time thinking about the past and the shoulda coulda wouldas cause there's nothing i can do about it.
torrey told me once that if i took too long to give it up to him, he was gonna have to let me go...but that nigga ain't goin nowhere. he's not. i think he'll wait longer than 'HE' did. i know he will. he'll wait as long as it takes. so i think if and when we ever break up, it'll be because of something that i do. i told him i was going to go to the West Meck Reunion and come back "busted wide open, then try to come right back" (like that song) and he was like, then that's it for me. but honestly, if i did have sex with someone else, i think he'd be mad at me for a really long time, but i don't think he'd want to leave me. he would try to work things out.
did i mention that his mom doesn't like me? that's so funny. how can you not like a virgin? if you wanted your son with anybody, it should be a virgin. and i'm a smart, pretty girl...i'm gonna be a doctor. but she doesn't like me. i don't know why. it's all good though. i think she's starting to warm up to me though. it's weird though cause moms generally like me.
geeze, i guess i've had a lot on my mind the past few months. but as of today, the last day of 2008, i'm going to try to keep it in 2008. less than 1 year from now, i hope to be done with Georgia State and making my way to medical school. or i could just stop and work at the CDC right outta Georgia State and still make really good money. but i don't want to think about that. it sounds really really tempting. but since i'm graduating a biology major with a concentration in microbiology and a minor in chemistry, i can go to work for the CDC as a Microbiologist. i already looked up the requirements and I meet the education requirements, just not the required experience. i'm gonna try to do some Microbiology volunteer work this year to cover that. but they pay from like $70,000 to over $124,000 a year. i could definitely work with that. and if i end up with torrey, being a physicist, he'll be making bank too. we could be swimming in dough. but i don't know, i've wanted to be a doctor for as long as i can remember. i'm gonna stick it out, stick with opthalmology. or gerontology/geriatrics. there's this optometrist, Dr. Anderson, that has an eye clinic at a Kroger up the street from where I live. I'm gonna go there Monday after class and see if i can't volunteer there for a couple times a week.
and i have to be taking my mcats soon. the end is so close i can taste it.
i just washed my hair the other night and my hair is growing! my fro is sooo huge now. it's about time.
ok, so it's 5 pm. i'm gonna go take a nap. ttyl.
jennifer
in 2009, i plan on letting go of a lot of things:
i will no longer sweat the small stuff
i will no longer speak/think of past relationships
i will only look to the future
i will try to be more outgoing
i will make "genuine" friends
i'm gonna be a better person
out with the old and in with the new.
vickey and her brother and her sister and some of their friends are going out tonight and they want me to babysit. they want to go to the underground and then go out to a club after that. they invited me along, but the club scene is not my thing. then they wanted me to go just to be their designated driver. fuuuck that! see, if torrey was here, i could have an excuse to go someplace. maybe i'll go hang with riche. i think at midnight, i'll just be knocked out. it's going to be nothing special this year. i've never had a really awesome new year's. they have all been pretty lame. next year, i'm going all out cause i should be a college grad by then. i'll have something to actually celebrate.
i've been really unhappy these past couple of days. when i'm up, i'm really up and when i'm down, i'm really down. i'm feeling really depressed. i just can't wait for classes to start back up on monday so i'll have something to do and be out of this house. i'm trying to look for some place else to live. i've overstayed my welcome at vickeys.
i miss those days when i had my own place. sometimes i wish i could go back in time and do so many things differently. i've been thinking about this a lot lately. me and darnell were talking the other day and he was like, if i could go back that he thinks i wouldn't be a virgin right now. and i was like, i know you don't think i'd give it up to 'HIM'. i wouldn't have even bothered myself with 'HIM' if i could go back. and he said no, not to 'HIM'. he wouldn't say who though. but i think i'd still be this way, i would have just ended up with someone else. but it's a waste of time thinking about the past and the shoulda coulda wouldas cause there's nothing i can do about it.
torrey told me once that if i took too long to give it up to him, he was gonna have to let me go...but that nigga ain't goin nowhere. he's not. i think he'll wait longer than 'HE' did. i know he will. he'll wait as long as it takes. so i think if and when we ever break up, it'll be because of something that i do. i told him i was going to go to the West Meck Reunion and come back "busted wide open, then try to come right back" (like that song) and he was like, then that's it for me. but honestly, if i did have sex with someone else, i think he'd be mad at me for a really long time, but i don't think he'd want to leave me. he would try to work things out.
did i mention that his mom doesn't like me? that's so funny. how can you not like a virgin? if you wanted your son with anybody, it should be a virgin. and i'm a smart, pretty girl...i'm gonna be a doctor. but she doesn't like me. i don't know why. it's all good though. i think she's starting to warm up to me though. it's weird though cause moms generally like me.
geeze, i guess i've had a lot on my mind the past few months. but as of today, the last day of 2008, i'm going to try to keep it in 2008. less than 1 year from now, i hope to be done with Georgia State and making my way to medical school. or i could just stop and work at the CDC right outta Georgia State and still make really good money. but i don't want to think about that. it sounds really really tempting. but since i'm graduating a biology major with a concentration in microbiology and a minor in chemistry, i can go to work for the CDC as a Microbiologist. i already looked up the requirements and I meet the education requirements, just not the required experience. i'm gonna try to do some Microbiology volunteer work this year to cover that. but they pay from like $70,000 to over $124,000 a year. i could definitely work with that. and if i end up with torrey, being a physicist, he'll be making bank too. we could be swimming in dough. but i don't know, i've wanted to be a doctor for as long as i can remember. i'm gonna stick it out, stick with opthalmology. or gerontology/geriatrics. there's this optometrist, Dr. Anderson, that has an eye clinic at a Kroger up the street from where I live. I'm gonna go there Monday after class and see if i can't volunteer there for a couple times a week.
and i have to be taking my mcats soon. the end is so close i can taste it.
i just washed my hair the other night and my hair is growing! my fro is sooo huge now. it's about time.
ok, so it's 5 pm. i'm gonna go take a nap. ttyl.
jennifer
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
it's been almost a whole year since i blogged last. that is so crazy. well it's going to be the new year soon and i resolve to blog at least once a week. i say this all the time, but it lets me release some steam so i'm gonna start it back on up.
i wanna try some video blogs too...a vlog. i'm gonna try to experiment with that. i wanna post pictures and just make this a new thing. i've been blogging since i was 17. i'm almost 24 now. it's so crazy how time just flies by. that's seven years. life is just so different now.
anyways, expect to hear from me soon.
xoxo
jenny
i wanna try some video blogs too...a vlog. i'm gonna try to experiment with that. i wanna post pictures and just make this a new thing. i've been blogging since i was 17. i'm almost 24 now. it's so crazy how time just flies by. that's seven years. life is just so different now.
anyways, expect to hear from me soon.
xoxo
jenny
Friday, March 14, 2008
UPDATE!!
ok, so its been a little while since i've blogged...again.
well, i left off last being halfway through my vacation in charlotte. i had a pretty good time. i hung out with people i hadn't seen in a while and i hung out with new people. it was all good times. the person that i hung out with that changed the most since i saw them last was nate. that dude has done a complete 360. he used to be small and fraile and geeky in high school. he's all thick and big and good looking now. it was great. i hung out with him and this other dude we went to high school with. i was sitting up there for an hour before i realized who the other dude was. i used to see that dude every single day at the walmart by my old apartment and one day he even asked me if i went to west meck and that he knew me. so anyway, the three of us hung out for a few hours...talked shit about people we knew. it was fun.
the most fun i had on my trip was playing laser tag with my brother josh, two of his friends, sam, and like 20-30 other kids at the laser tag place. it was so so so much fun. i need to find a laser tag place around here in atlanta. out of the 30 something people playing, i came in fourth. that was my first time and i did so good. it was great. josh came in after me, fifth, and he's supposed to be a marine. they better not get me up there in the marines. i'd be shooting at anything moving. oh yeah, i need to go out to the range and do some damage with a real weapon.
so i stuck by what i said and didn't hang out with lamar. that's cool cause now i know i have some control over my feelings now....or my lack of feelings i should say. it's good. over the next two years, i think i'll probably end back up in charlotte only about twice...max. so that's even better. even less chances to see him. hopefully the next break i get, which won't be until thanksgiving, i'll finally get to go to florida to visit my mama. oh yeah, i'm going back to charlotte for one weekend in may to take sam to her prom. then i have to go right back home cause i have summer classes. i'm gonna be so overwhelmed this summer. but i want to graduate at the end of next year, so i need to jump on the ball.
i got home from charlotte this past sunday night and went straight over to torrey's to spend the night. i was so excited to see him. it had felt like forever. and that kiss we had when i got back...HOTT! it was really good. the best kiss i've had in a week ;) no, but it was much needed.
i kinda missed atlanta and missed going to class, if you can believe that. i really did. we have like 6 more weeks before the semester is over. thank god.
i'm thinking about a couple new schools now. either university of southern california for gerontology or university of southern florida for gerontology. they both offer PhD's in gerontology and they make over $250 a year. i can live with that. i'm going to go see a lady who knows about schools and careers in gerontology on monday.
i'm glad that i finally pulled my shit together. it seems like lamar was the thing that was holding me back from accomplishing what i needed to accomplish. after i left him, i finally decided to pull my shit together. all my affairs are falling into place and i think i'm even happier. i'm not happy that he's sleeping with someone, but overall, i am happier.
so anyways, today, actually since yesterday, torrey has been acting up again. he's really starting to piss me off. his attitude. it's bugging me. like i told him...i've done the drama thing for the past five years with lamar, i don't have the time to put up with it anymore. i started dating him cause i was pretty sure it would be laid-back and drama-free but he's starting to bug me a little. i love him and everything, but DAMN! we'll see how it works out. i just want something laid-back and stress/drama free and easy and fun. that is a lot to ask for, but i'm allowed to have some standards.
ok. i'm done. i need to go study or do something productive. peace out.
jenny
ok, so its been a little while since i've blogged...again.
well, i left off last being halfway through my vacation in charlotte. i had a pretty good time. i hung out with people i hadn't seen in a while and i hung out with new people. it was all good times. the person that i hung out with that changed the most since i saw them last was nate. that dude has done a complete 360. he used to be small and fraile and geeky in high school. he's all thick and big and good looking now. it was great. i hung out with him and this other dude we went to high school with. i was sitting up there for an hour before i realized who the other dude was. i used to see that dude every single day at the walmart by my old apartment and one day he even asked me if i went to west meck and that he knew me. so anyway, the three of us hung out for a few hours...talked shit about people we knew. it was fun.
the most fun i had on my trip was playing laser tag with my brother josh, two of his friends, sam, and like 20-30 other kids at the laser tag place. it was so so so much fun. i need to find a laser tag place around here in atlanta. out of the 30 something people playing, i came in fourth. that was my first time and i did so good. it was great. josh came in after me, fifth, and he's supposed to be a marine. they better not get me up there in the marines. i'd be shooting at anything moving. oh yeah, i need to go out to the range and do some damage with a real weapon.
so i stuck by what i said and didn't hang out with lamar. that's cool cause now i know i have some control over my feelings now....or my lack of feelings i should say. it's good. over the next two years, i think i'll probably end back up in charlotte only about twice...max. so that's even better. even less chances to see him. hopefully the next break i get, which won't be until thanksgiving, i'll finally get to go to florida to visit my mama. oh yeah, i'm going back to charlotte for one weekend in may to take sam to her prom. then i have to go right back home cause i have summer classes. i'm gonna be so overwhelmed this summer. but i want to graduate at the end of next year, so i need to jump on the ball.
i got home from charlotte this past sunday night and went straight over to torrey's to spend the night. i was so excited to see him. it had felt like forever. and that kiss we had when i got back...HOTT! it was really good. the best kiss i've had in a week ;) no, but it was much needed.
i kinda missed atlanta and missed going to class, if you can believe that. i really did. we have like 6 more weeks before the semester is over. thank god.
i'm thinking about a couple new schools now. either university of southern california for gerontology or university of southern florida for gerontology. they both offer PhD's in gerontology and they make over $250 a year. i can live with that. i'm going to go see a lady who knows about schools and careers in gerontology on monday.
i'm glad that i finally pulled my shit together. it seems like lamar was the thing that was holding me back from accomplishing what i needed to accomplish. after i left him, i finally decided to pull my shit together. all my affairs are falling into place and i think i'm even happier. i'm not happy that he's sleeping with someone, but overall, i am happier.
so anyways, today, actually since yesterday, torrey has been acting up again. he's really starting to piss me off. his attitude. it's bugging me. like i told him...i've done the drama thing for the past five years with lamar, i don't have the time to put up with it anymore. i started dating him cause i was pretty sure it would be laid-back and drama-free but he's starting to bug me a little. i love him and everything, but DAMN! we'll see how it works out. i just want something laid-back and stress/drama free and easy and fun. that is a lot to ask for, but i'm allowed to have some standards.
ok. i'm done. i need to go study or do something productive. peace out.
jenny
can you believe that this ugly bitch is actually one of the main reasons that me and lamar broke up?
hey, whatever floats your boat. like i've said so many times before, i guess sex really does prevail above all else.
hey, whatever floats your boat. like i've said so many times before, i guess sex really does prevail above all else.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
oh, so there's so much to talk about. let me start off with the gavin degraw concert.
the gavin degraw concert was all that i thought it would be and more. it was awesome. i got my backstage passes via fedex on monday and i was just excited at that point. then, on wednesday, i got up early and started getting stuff in order to go. i got to torrey's room around 3-ish and we had to be there by 4:30 for the soundcheck. now everybody knows i like to be at places early. not on time, not late, but early. so i get there and he's still doing homework or whatever and i'm like, well i gotta go; i'm not about to miss this for you. so i leave and he jumps in the shower as i leave. i catch marta (cause i hate driving around atlanta and its convenient) and make it there with like 15 minutes to spare. when i get there, it's cold as hell (like in the 30s) and they make us wait outside (there were like 20 people) for almost an hour. it was freezing. torrey made it in time and didn't have to wait out as long as i did. but anyways..
we show our passes and ids and we got let inside the building. as we were all waiting in the lobby, i could hear gavin doing his soundcheck and i just melted. wow. my first taste of gavin live. it was hot. i was looking around and no one else seemed to care and i just wanted to smile and cry and laugh, but i didn't want to look like a jackass. so we go in after they've checked everyone's ids and i see gavin on the stage chatting with someone. OMFG!!! he looks so so so sexy in person. it was hot. we all walked up to the stage and he started telling jokes that were so not funny, but those white folks there were laughing it up like he was dave chapelle or something. but he was cute telling them anyways. i forgot what he was talking about. that's how lame it was. so he chitchats with everyone as a group then plays a couple of songs for us and then comes down to meet and greet with us. he meets the radio winners first and then the fan club winners last. when he gets to me, i am so stupid, i couldn't think of anything to say that was clever or whatever. i just asked him to sign my gavin degraw chariot cassette tape case. so he signs it and he was like "oh shit, i didn't know they made these" cause i had asked him if he had ever seen chariot on tape. he had no idea and he was so shocked and laughing. i asked him if chariot was on vinyl so i could play it on my record player and he was like, he had no idea. so after that small chitchat, we took a pic and he shook my hand and torrey's and took a pic with us and said something like, 'be good' or something like that and i was like, 'you should go get one of those cassettes' and he was like 'yeah, then i would have to go get a cassette player'. it was so funny. he was like 'i didn't even know they still made cassettes after 1980' and i was like 'i know right, i got this one from singapore' and he was like 'oh, you were in singapore' and i said no, that i bought it online from singapore. so at least i did something different, something that would stand out from all those other psychos that he meets. no one brought a cassette of his to sign before, so that was really cool. i know he'll mention me to someone at some point in his life for that.
so after all that was done and over, we all left and had to come back in about a half hour for the actual show. afterwards, i thought of all this great stuff to say and ask him. i wanted a hug from him and a picture with just him and me and not torrey in it, but i guess i could just crop him out, but its just not the same. i wanted to ask him if he would strip the new album and i wanted to ask him this and that. but oh well. i'm so sure that i'll see him again one day.
his new album comes out on april 15 and i will have it on april 15. i can't wait. when i first heard his new song "i'm in love with a girl", i did not like it at all. but now, i love it. at the concert, this dude landon pigg opened up. he sang that song "falling in love at a coffee shop" on that diamonds commercial. he was pretty good. and then gavin came out with "i don't want to be" and the crowd just lit up. it was hot. me and torrey kinda got in line late cause torrey was acting up (i won't get into it) but we kinda just pushed our way to like the third row, which was really good. there were these tall ass folks in front of me though and i'm only 5'3, so that ticked me off a bit, but it was all right. he did a few songs from chariot and a lot of his new songs from the new album. i sung along to the songs that i knew (all the ones from chariot and a couple of others) and bobbed my head along to the ones that i didn't. gavin looked at me like 15 times too during the concert, it was so awesome. the first few times he did it, i turned to torrey and said 'he just looked at me, did you see him' and he was like 'duh' like he was annoyed or something. he started getting annoyed pretty early on and looking like he wanted to leave or something. if i could go back, i really really wish sam could have come with me. she's into gavin too, unlike torrey, and she would have had a lot more fun with me and i would have had a lot more fun with her had she gone. i had found out from these two white girls that me and torrey had met after we left the soundcheck that he had asked them to stay afterwards for drinks (and had i not been with torrey, i'm pretty sure he would have asked me too cause those two girls that he asked looked really old and not cute--but i'll get my time with him one day).
so he ended the show with "chariot" and "relative" and that was it. it was amazing. i loved it. i wish i had recorded the whole show, but i didn't know how to work my camera like that (i just figured out that i could have recorded up to three hours of video on my camera two days ago).
so the day after the concert, i came to charlotte. well, i'm in fort mill right now, until about sunday i think. i may leave a little earlier cause i just realized i have a lot of homework due on monday and tuesday and i brought none of my books or notebooks. but so far i'm having a really good time. me and sam laughed the hardest i have laughed in a really really long time the other night. so far, i've met up with a couple of people that i haven't seen in forever and i'm meeting up with someone (who, at this point, will remain nameless so that my boyfriend won't break up with me)tomorrow and then this other person (who will also remain nameless) on friday. my brother josh will be here this weekend and then i go home.
torrey has really been stressing over me coming up here. i told him that i was planning on meeting a couple of people that he should be worried about. he thought i was gonna be meeting up with lamar, but AS IF! what do i need to see him for? i don't think so. there's some other people who i haven't seen in a while that deserve my time. so that should be fun. i asked torrey if he would be mad if i had a meaningless kiss with a person or two and he got pissed off. no, he doesn't want me doing all that. what a hater! see, i always tell on myself. when i kissed that one dude when i was going out with lamar, i told him before and after i did it. i never lie. so i mean, if it happens, it happens. i told torrey about me possibly doing it before time and if i do end up doing it, i will tell him. i'm young, and if a dude wants to kiss me, i'm not gonna stop it. i'm just gonna have to face the reprecussions. i really don't see anything wrong with kissing anyways. unless you're in love with the person, i really think the kiss would be meaningless (wait, let me stop while i'm ahead).
so anyways, my stay in the carolinas is just about over. i gotta say though, when i first arrived in the city a few days ago, i did get these overwhelming feelings from the past rush over me. having a great job, a great apartment. having sam over every weekend. having lamar. and i was wishing so bad that lamar would call me and that we would get to hang out and catch up. but when he actually did text me, i was like, what the hell was i thinking? this dude has a girlfriend now (which he had no problem telling me that he was screwing--almost like he was rubbing it in) and he's trying to meet up with me? that's not right. that's the same bullshit he was doing with other girls when we were going out. i won't put his girlfriend through the unnecessary drama. i don't want to see him that bad. i really don't want to see him at all. that wouldn't be healthy to me. i'm still trying to get over him completely, that would just set me back from all the progress i've made so far. and what made me mad when he was texting me was that he said that his girlfriend knew about me and knew about everytime that he talked to me and all i could think was, why couldn't he be that way with me? why couldn't he tell me when he was talking to some other chick instead of me having to snoop through his things (and him even locking his phone on me) to find things out? besides, he's in a sexual relationship now, why in the world does he need to see me? who cares? that's what angers me the most about him now, that he's having sex with some chick. he told me a few weeks ago that when he's with her, he can't imagine being with anyone else. again, after five years or however long it was with me, that's all i wanted from him. had he only felt that way for me, we would have been fine. but i just wasn't enough for him, but only after what i imagine to be only a few weeks, he feels this way about some other chick. i guess sex speeds shit up like that. when you're sleeping with someone, there's this whole level of emotions that you share that you just can't compare with a sexless relationship, no matter how short or long it was. i still wouldn't trade my sexlessness for that...not just yet. so i'm very proud of myself for having the strength to turn down his invitation of catching up. that just shows that i really am getting over this dude.
so anyways, besides that. i can't wait for school to be over. i am so ready to finish up at georgia state and move onto the next stage of my life. i so look forward to moving again. i'm so used to always moving. i love moving. which is why i'm looking into going into the military's medical school again. i mean, it's free med school, almost $2k a month for four years while i'm in school, free housing and free money for food, and i get to travel the world as a doctor when i'm done with the four years of med school. i would love that. so it looks like the two schools i'll be applying to for med school are morehouse (even though there's no way in hell i can afford it) and the military's med school (which will probably be my first choice). i think after i graduate next fall, i'm gonna stop writing in this blog. i'll be too busy with med school and plus, i don't think i want people in my business anymore. if they want to know what's going on in my life, they should just call me and ask me. yeah, i think that'll be a plan. so i guess after jan 1, 2010, this blog will be no more. maybe i'll write in it once in a blue moon, but i'll only talk about general stuff. probably no details about my life. i don't know yet. it's too soon to tell.
ok then, well i guess i'm gonna roll out now. oh, and i shot some video at the gavin concert that i tried to post on here, but they wouldn't, so i'll just put them up on my myspace page (hopefully sometime before the week is over with) and i'll put the rest of the concert pics and some pics of me and torrey up on my myspace page and my facebook page.
all right then folks, peace out.
jenny
the gavin degraw concert was all that i thought it would be and more. it was awesome. i got my backstage passes via fedex on monday and i was just excited at that point. then, on wednesday, i got up early and started getting stuff in order to go. i got to torrey's room around 3-ish and we had to be there by 4:30 for the soundcheck. now everybody knows i like to be at places early. not on time, not late, but early. so i get there and he's still doing homework or whatever and i'm like, well i gotta go; i'm not about to miss this for you. so i leave and he jumps in the shower as i leave. i catch marta (cause i hate driving around atlanta and its convenient) and make it there with like 15 minutes to spare. when i get there, it's cold as hell (like in the 30s) and they make us wait outside (there were like 20 people) for almost an hour. it was freezing. torrey made it in time and didn't have to wait out as long as i did. but anyways..
we show our passes and ids and we got let inside the building. as we were all waiting in the lobby, i could hear gavin doing his soundcheck and i just melted. wow. my first taste of gavin live. it was hot. i was looking around and no one else seemed to care and i just wanted to smile and cry and laugh, but i didn't want to look like a jackass. so we go in after they've checked everyone's ids and i see gavin on the stage chatting with someone. OMFG!!! he looks so so so sexy in person. it was hot. we all walked up to the stage and he started telling jokes that were so not funny, but those white folks there were laughing it up like he was dave chapelle or something. but he was cute telling them anyways. i forgot what he was talking about. that's how lame it was. so he chitchats with everyone as a group then plays a couple of songs for us and then comes down to meet and greet with us. he meets the radio winners first and then the fan club winners last. when he gets to me, i am so stupid, i couldn't think of anything to say that was clever or whatever. i just asked him to sign my gavin degraw chariot cassette tape case. so he signs it and he was like "oh shit, i didn't know they made these" cause i had asked him if he had ever seen chariot on tape. he had no idea and he was so shocked and laughing. i asked him if chariot was on vinyl so i could play it on my record player and he was like, he had no idea. so after that small chitchat, we took a pic and he shook my hand and torrey's and took a pic with us and said something like, 'be good' or something like that and i was like, 'you should go get one of those cassettes' and he was like 'yeah, then i would have to go get a cassette player'. it was so funny. he was like 'i didn't even know they still made cassettes after 1980' and i was like 'i know right, i got this one from singapore' and he was like 'oh, you were in singapore' and i said no, that i bought it online from singapore. so at least i did something different, something that would stand out from all those other psychos that he meets. no one brought a cassette of his to sign before, so that was really cool. i know he'll mention me to someone at some point in his life for that.
so after all that was done and over, we all left and had to come back in about a half hour for the actual show. afterwards, i thought of all this great stuff to say and ask him. i wanted a hug from him and a picture with just him and me and not torrey in it, but i guess i could just crop him out, but its just not the same. i wanted to ask him if he would strip the new album and i wanted to ask him this and that. but oh well. i'm so sure that i'll see him again one day.
his new album comes out on april 15 and i will have it on april 15. i can't wait. when i first heard his new song "i'm in love with a girl", i did not like it at all. but now, i love it. at the concert, this dude landon pigg opened up. he sang that song "falling in love at a coffee shop" on that diamonds commercial. he was pretty good. and then gavin came out with "i don't want to be" and the crowd just lit up. it was hot. me and torrey kinda got in line late cause torrey was acting up (i won't get into it) but we kinda just pushed our way to like the third row, which was really good. there were these tall ass folks in front of me though and i'm only 5'3, so that ticked me off a bit, but it was all right. he did a few songs from chariot and a lot of his new songs from the new album. i sung along to the songs that i knew (all the ones from chariot and a couple of others) and bobbed my head along to the ones that i didn't. gavin looked at me like 15 times too during the concert, it was so awesome. the first few times he did it, i turned to torrey and said 'he just looked at me, did you see him' and he was like 'duh' like he was annoyed or something. he started getting annoyed pretty early on and looking like he wanted to leave or something. if i could go back, i really really wish sam could have come with me. she's into gavin too, unlike torrey, and she would have had a lot more fun with me and i would have had a lot more fun with her had she gone. i had found out from these two white girls that me and torrey had met after we left the soundcheck that he had asked them to stay afterwards for drinks (and had i not been with torrey, i'm pretty sure he would have asked me too cause those two girls that he asked looked really old and not cute--but i'll get my time with him one day).
so he ended the show with "chariot" and "relative" and that was it. it was amazing. i loved it. i wish i had recorded the whole show, but i didn't know how to work my camera like that (i just figured out that i could have recorded up to three hours of video on my camera two days ago).
so the day after the concert, i came to charlotte. well, i'm in fort mill right now, until about sunday i think. i may leave a little earlier cause i just realized i have a lot of homework due on monday and tuesday and i brought none of my books or notebooks. but so far i'm having a really good time. me and sam laughed the hardest i have laughed in a really really long time the other night. so far, i've met up with a couple of people that i haven't seen in forever and i'm meeting up with someone (who, at this point, will remain nameless so that my boyfriend won't break up with me)tomorrow and then this other person (who will also remain nameless) on friday. my brother josh will be here this weekend and then i go home.
torrey has really been stressing over me coming up here. i told him that i was planning on meeting a couple of people that he should be worried about. he thought i was gonna be meeting up with lamar, but AS IF! what do i need to see him for? i don't think so. there's some other people who i haven't seen in a while that deserve my time. so that should be fun. i asked torrey if he would be mad if i had a meaningless kiss with a person or two and he got pissed off. no, he doesn't want me doing all that. what a hater! see, i always tell on myself. when i kissed that one dude when i was going out with lamar, i told him before and after i did it. i never lie. so i mean, if it happens, it happens. i told torrey about me possibly doing it before time and if i do end up doing it, i will tell him. i'm young, and if a dude wants to kiss me, i'm not gonna stop it. i'm just gonna have to face the reprecussions. i really don't see anything wrong with kissing anyways. unless you're in love with the person, i really think the kiss would be meaningless (wait, let me stop while i'm ahead).
so anyways, my stay in the carolinas is just about over. i gotta say though, when i first arrived in the city a few days ago, i did get these overwhelming feelings from the past rush over me. having a great job, a great apartment. having sam over every weekend. having lamar. and i was wishing so bad that lamar would call me and that we would get to hang out and catch up. but when he actually did text me, i was like, what the hell was i thinking? this dude has a girlfriend now (which he had no problem telling me that he was screwing--almost like he was rubbing it in) and he's trying to meet up with me? that's not right. that's the same bullshit he was doing with other girls when we were going out. i won't put his girlfriend through the unnecessary drama. i don't want to see him that bad. i really don't want to see him at all. that wouldn't be healthy to me. i'm still trying to get over him completely, that would just set me back from all the progress i've made so far. and what made me mad when he was texting me was that he said that his girlfriend knew about me and knew about everytime that he talked to me and all i could think was, why couldn't he be that way with me? why couldn't he tell me when he was talking to some other chick instead of me having to snoop through his things (and him even locking his phone on me) to find things out? besides, he's in a sexual relationship now, why in the world does he need to see me? who cares? that's what angers me the most about him now, that he's having sex with some chick. he told me a few weeks ago that when he's with her, he can't imagine being with anyone else. again, after five years or however long it was with me, that's all i wanted from him. had he only felt that way for me, we would have been fine. but i just wasn't enough for him, but only after what i imagine to be only a few weeks, he feels this way about some other chick. i guess sex speeds shit up like that. when you're sleeping with someone, there's this whole level of emotions that you share that you just can't compare with a sexless relationship, no matter how short or long it was. i still wouldn't trade my sexlessness for that...not just yet. so i'm very proud of myself for having the strength to turn down his invitation of catching up. that just shows that i really am getting over this dude.
so anyways, besides that. i can't wait for school to be over. i am so ready to finish up at georgia state and move onto the next stage of my life. i so look forward to moving again. i'm so used to always moving. i love moving. which is why i'm looking into going into the military's medical school again. i mean, it's free med school, almost $2k a month for four years while i'm in school, free housing and free money for food, and i get to travel the world as a doctor when i'm done with the four years of med school. i would love that. so it looks like the two schools i'll be applying to for med school are morehouse (even though there's no way in hell i can afford it) and the military's med school (which will probably be my first choice). i think after i graduate next fall, i'm gonna stop writing in this blog. i'll be too busy with med school and plus, i don't think i want people in my business anymore. if they want to know what's going on in my life, they should just call me and ask me. yeah, i think that'll be a plan. so i guess after jan 1, 2010, this blog will be no more. maybe i'll write in it once in a blue moon, but i'll only talk about general stuff. probably no details about my life. i don't know yet. it's too soon to tell.
ok then, well i guess i'm gonna roll out now. oh, and i shot some video at the gavin concert that i tried to post on here, but they wouldn't, so i'll just put them up on my myspace page (hopefully sometime before the week is over with) and i'll put the rest of the concert pics and some pics of me and torrey up on my myspace page and my facebook page.
all right then folks, peace out.
jenny
Saturday, February 23, 2008
it's been a long week. let's see, what have i been up to? i'll start with the bad stuff that happened and end with the good stuff (and it's really really really good.)
ok, so the bad stuff:
torrey has been acting up. we were in chem lab on thursday night and i was trying to do my distillations and i went to go wash out some of my equipment and i saw torrey at another sink. i started washing out my stuff and i look over at torrey and he's doing something at the sink, then this girl walks by that i suspected he had a little thing for and so i see this jackass totally look at her non-existant white ass for a good two or three seconds and then continue what he was doing. i walked up to him and asked him: "WTF?!" he acted like he didn't know what the hell i was talking about. i was pissed off for the rest of the night and instead of hanging with him after lab like i usually do, i cut it short and went home. he knew i was pissed cause i didn't call him.
so the next day, i went to go see him and we talked about it. he admited that he was looking cause he thought she was cute and he said that what he saw was nice and that he was attracted to her. this really pissed me off. he said he was just looking to look though. i immediately thought back to the time me and lamar were in the mall this one time and we were at the check out counter of express and this white girl walks up and pays for something and that asshole stuck his head over there and looked this girl up and down like i was not even there. like i was invisible or something. that had really pissed me off. i used to think that some guys were above that. i thought lamar was above that (only in the beginning) and i thought torrey was definitely above that, but i guess not. there has to be a few guys that are.
torrey explained it best as to why girls get mad as to why guys look. girls get mad cause they think their man is looking cause they're not satisfied with what they have. i guess subconciously, that's why i do get mad. that was the first time i had caught torrey doing something like that. he's usually looking only at me. i hadn't had any problems with him. he usually seems pretty into me and me alone. but he did slip up that day. and what made me mad was that this white girl had a flat ass and he said he liked it and my ass is so the opposite. i have a round ass and he said he liked mine too. but i am not gonna sweat that dude like that. if he doesn't like it, oh well. i could really care less. i know plenty of dudes who would love to be all over it.
anyways, what i got from this whole experience was that i realized something. i don't really see myself being married to this dude in the future and having his kids. i know we're really early in our relationship, but i just don't see it yet. maybe its cause i've imagined those things happening to me with someone else for so long that i just can't see me doing it with anyone else. but i don't know. i realized that torrey may not be "THE ONE" either. i'm having a really good time right now with him, but i think there may be a better person out there for me for the long run. i love him, but i think there may be a better fit for me out there somewhere.
now the SUPER SUPER SUPER good news:
well, you should know by now that i'm going to be going to this gavin degraw concert on wednesday. well a little while back (like three or so weeks ago), i entered this contest for backstage passes or whatever it was. so, on thursday, i was in english class and i was checking my email on my phone and saw that i got an email from SONY BMG in new york city. turns out, someone else had won the passes for atlanta, but they hadn't responded in time and so i was the alternative winner for my city. i won two soundcheck and meet and greet tickets for the wednesday show. when i found out, i swear to god, i had half a mind to walk out of the classroom, out of the building and scream my ass off. i was screaming so loudly on the inside. after class was over, i hurried to a computer, printed off the forms, but couldn't do anything with them until the next morning because it was so late in the day already. i only had like 36 hours to respond, fax the necessary items, notarize some forms and express ship the forms to claim my prize and now, they said i'd get them by monday.
this is the thing i have wanted the most out of anything in my entire life. only two winners are chosen from each city from what i understand. it says that a quick soundcheck will be performed before the show for the two winners and their guest and after the soundcheck, gavin will come down and meet the two winners. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! now, i really have to go pick out a cute outfit and get some fresh batteries for my camera, get my hair straight, my nails done, my makeup right. it's gonna be the best night of my life i know it. i'm so nervous already. i think i'm gonna slip up and say something stupid or not be able to talk at all. this is amazing.
so i will try to take plenty of pictures. they say no cameras allowed, but i'm brining mine anyways. my camera phone sucks, so i'm gonna try to borrow vickey's phone. her phone and her camera phone is so much better than mine. she has a razor. i'm finally gonna get my sprint rumor in may, but i'm thinking about going ahead and getting one before this show starts so i can get some good pictures AND video. i have to figure out something quick.
i'm gonna go today to shop for what i want to wear. but i can't be slutty cause it's gonna only be a high of about 40 degrees that day.
so that'll be on wednesday. on that friday, i should be heading up to charlotte for a little over a week. i'm excited about that too. torrey wanted me to go meet his parents and stay with him for the first couple of days of spring break in his hometown. i'm still thinking about it, but i'm not sure. it's so sweet though cause lamar was never really enthusiastic or adamant about me meeting his family. so for a guy to be so into me that he wants his family to know me, i love it. torrey honestly makes me feel like a princess. from the way he holds me, the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me. i've never had that before.
my birthday is in two months. i'm gonna be 23. oh gosh. and torrey will still be 20. oh damn. lol, that's not right.
anyway, i think i need to get myself together so i can go out and get my outfit. i'll holla atcha.
love,
jennifer
ok, so the bad stuff:
torrey has been acting up. we were in chem lab on thursday night and i was trying to do my distillations and i went to go wash out some of my equipment and i saw torrey at another sink. i started washing out my stuff and i look over at torrey and he's doing something at the sink, then this girl walks by that i suspected he had a little thing for and so i see this jackass totally look at her non-existant white ass for a good two or three seconds and then continue what he was doing. i walked up to him and asked him: "WTF?!" he acted like he didn't know what the hell i was talking about. i was pissed off for the rest of the night and instead of hanging with him after lab like i usually do, i cut it short and went home. he knew i was pissed cause i didn't call him.
so the next day, i went to go see him and we talked about it. he admited that he was looking cause he thought she was cute and he said that what he saw was nice and that he was attracted to her. this really pissed me off. he said he was just looking to look though. i immediately thought back to the time me and lamar were in the mall this one time and we were at the check out counter of express and this white girl walks up and pays for something and that asshole stuck his head over there and looked this girl up and down like i was not even there. like i was invisible or something. that had really pissed me off. i used to think that some guys were above that. i thought lamar was above that (only in the beginning) and i thought torrey was definitely above that, but i guess not. there has to be a few guys that are.
torrey explained it best as to why girls get mad as to why guys look. girls get mad cause they think their man is looking cause they're not satisfied with what they have. i guess subconciously, that's why i do get mad. that was the first time i had caught torrey doing something like that. he's usually looking only at me. i hadn't had any problems with him. he usually seems pretty into me and me alone. but he did slip up that day. and what made me mad was that this white girl had a flat ass and he said he liked it and my ass is so the opposite. i have a round ass and he said he liked mine too. but i am not gonna sweat that dude like that. if he doesn't like it, oh well. i could really care less. i know plenty of dudes who would love to be all over it.
anyways, what i got from this whole experience was that i realized something. i don't really see myself being married to this dude in the future and having his kids. i know we're really early in our relationship, but i just don't see it yet. maybe its cause i've imagined those things happening to me with someone else for so long that i just can't see me doing it with anyone else. but i don't know. i realized that torrey may not be "THE ONE" either. i'm having a really good time right now with him, but i think there may be a better person out there for me for the long run. i love him, but i think there may be a better fit for me out there somewhere.
now the SUPER SUPER SUPER good news:
well, you should know by now that i'm going to be going to this gavin degraw concert on wednesday. well a little while back (like three or so weeks ago), i entered this contest for backstage passes or whatever it was. so, on thursday, i was in english class and i was checking my email on my phone and saw that i got an email from SONY BMG in new york city. turns out, someone else had won the passes for atlanta, but they hadn't responded in time and so i was the alternative winner for my city. i won two soundcheck and meet and greet tickets for the wednesday show. when i found out, i swear to god, i had half a mind to walk out of the classroom, out of the building and scream my ass off. i was screaming so loudly on the inside. after class was over, i hurried to a computer, printed off the forms, but couldn't do anything with them until the next morning because it was so late in the day already. i only had like 36 hours to respond, fax the necessary items, notarize some forms and express ship the forms to claim my prize and now, they said i'd get them by monday.
this is the thing i have wanted the most out of anything in my entire life. only two winners are chosen from each city from what i understand. it says that a quick soundcheck will be performed before the show for the two winners and their guest and after the soundcheck, gavin will come down and meet the two winners. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! now, i really have to go pick out a cute outfit and get some fresh batteries for my camera, get my hair straight, my nails done, my makeup right. it's gonna be the best night of my life i know it. i'm so nervous already. i think i'm gonna slip up and say something stupid or not be able to talk at all. this is amazing.
so i will try to take plenty of pictures. they say no cameras allowed, but i'm brining mine anyways. my camera phone sucks, so i'm gonna try to borrow vickey's phone. her phone and her camera phone is so much better than mine. she has a razor. i'm finally gonna get my sprint rumor in may, but i'm thinking about going ahead and getting one before this show starts so i can get some good pictures AND video. i have to figure out something quick.
i'm gonna go today to shop for what i want to wear. but i can't be slutty cause it's gonna only be a high of about 40 degrees that day.
so that'll be on wednesday. on that friday, i should be heading up to charlotte for a little over a week. i'm excited about that too. torrey wanted me to go meet his parents and stay with him for the first couple of days of spring break in his hometown. i'm still thinking about it, but i'm not sure. it's so sweet though cause lamar was never really enthusiastic or adamant about me meeting his family. so for a guy to be so into me that he wants his family to know me, i love it. torrey honestly makes me feel like a princess. from the way he holds me, the way he looks at me, the way he talks to me. i've never had that before.
my birthday is in two months. i'm gonna be 23. oh gosh. and torrey will still be 20. oh damn. lol, that's not right.
anyway, i think i need to get myself together so i can go out and get my outfit. i'll holla atcha.
love,
jennifer
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
i had a really weird dream last night. i dreamt the world was over. i've had this dream (well different versions of it anyways) several times.
last night, i dreamt that (now i'm gonna start at the middle; i can't remember the beginning) i was looking out my window and i saw the moon wasn't really there. instead, there were tiny fragments of moon that were disintegrating into glimmering stardust. after the last fragment had completely disintegrated, it was completely dark outside. no lights at all. i then went into my living room to ask vickey what the heck was going on. she was just sitting on the couch in darkness watching tv and holding a baby (who i'm assuming was landon). on the tv, there was like a countdown of some sort. above the countdown clock, there was a temperature gauge. the temp kept going up and up. i asked vickey, "is this the end of the world? are they counting down for the end of earth?" and she's like "yeah, the higher the temp goes up, the closer we are to the end" or something like that right? so we're just sitting there for like 15 seconds watching the temp go up at a very very high rate (it goes well into the hundreds) and then i just wake up.
f-r-e-a-k-y.
i also had a dream the other night that i went to charlotte for my spring break and i really really really fell out bad with my dad...yet again.
anyways, i'm going back to class (physics lecture). peace out.
jenny jenn jenn
last night, i dreamt that (now i'm gonna start at the middle; i can't remember the beginning) i was looking out my window and i saw the moon wasn't really there. instead, there were tiny fragments of moon that were disintegrating into glimmering stardust. after the last fragment had completely disintegrated, it was completely dark outside. no lights at all. i then went into my living room to ask vickey what the heck was going on. she was just sitting on the couch in darkness watching tv and holding a baby (who i'm assuming was landon). on the tv, there was like a countdown of some sort. above the countdown clock, there was a temperature gauge. the temp kept going up and up. i asked vickey, "is this the end of the world? are they counting down for the end of earth?" and she's like "yeah, the higher the temp goes up, the closer we are to the end" or something like that right? so we're just sitting there for like 15 seconds watching the temp go up at a very very high rate (it goes well into the hundreds) and then i just wake up.
f-r-e-a-k-y.
i also had a dream the other night that i went to charlotte for my spring break and i really really really fell out bad with my dad...yet again.
anyways, i'm going back to class (physics lecture). peace out.
jenny jenn jenn
Monday, February 18, 2008
so me and torrey had our valentine's day thing this past saturday and it was hands down the best valentine's day i have ever had in my entire life. it was so much fun.
well torrey had been planning this for a little while now, right. so we started off the weekend with him spending the night with me on friday night. so when we got up in the morning, we spent the day together. we left for his room kinda late. i gave him his gift. it was this fruit arranged like flowers. i got lamar something similar one valentine's day (in which i got nothing from him--not even a card). so i got him one and he liked it. he's into fruit, so i knew he'd love it. i got vickey one too and sam, my dad and mattie got to share one.
anyways, after i gave him that and his card, we headed to his room and he gave me flowers and this card that said the sweetest thing. this is some of what it said:
"...on tuesday while you were asleep and i was watching tv, i was watching you sleep. all of the emotions i feel for you culminated and swirled within me. i looked at you preciously and thought, "dammit she can sure as hell get on my nerves like no one else but asleep, albeit from extreme exhaustion, is so close to me, so close in fact as to have the ability to make me angrier than anyone else and hurt me worse than anyone. caring is dangerous. loving is dangerous. but i can't deny it. i love her. i'm scared half to death of the power she has but dammit, i love her." i then began to study your body. "look at jenny's hips, i like how they flow down to her thighs and how her inner thigh goes up to "there". mmmm, yeah she's fine and i can look at this all day and know this deeply." i just wanted you to know what goes through my mind at some really insignificant point in the day and how it ends up being special to me. it happens all the time...i love you. xoxo torrey."
it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever written to me/about me ever. it was touching. and so after the flowers and the card (i was so mad that he didn't get me candy--he always says i don't need to eat so much candy) we went around downtown atlanta. that's where we hit a problem. first of all, it was saturday night, so there were a lot of people anyway. but there were even more people cause there was some kind of cheerleader convention that night, so it was extra packed. every restaurant had over an hour wait. so we just decided to go to this diner that i always wanted to try, that's around campus. it was actually really great. i really liked it better i think than going to some fancy schmancy restaurant. and torrey was like, "you just want a burger huh". he thinks he knows me so well. well i did want a burger. i'm a burgers and fries kind of girl. low maintenance and laid back. a great catch. anyways, we did that, i had this awesome burger. so after that, we were gonna go see a movie, but it was getting late and i was getting so tired. i was dead sleepy, so we just went back to torrey's room and he said he had something else for me. he had drawn me a hot bubble bath with bubbles and flowers and everything. i guess he knows me. i love hot bubble baths. so that was really nice. probably my favorite part. and then he had one more thing for me, but it was late in arriving. so i'll be getting it some other time.
so all in all, it was very awesome.
then on sunday, he started acting up and i had to leave. but when i came back and we slept that night, he had his arm around me the whole night and it felt so great and special. for us to be mad at each other all day and then at night, he was all over me. i loved it. i love being held in my sleep. having a man's arms around me as we sleep. i feel so safe and protected. like nothing can happen to me as long as he's there.
so its monday night now and torrey's in the kitchen of his dorm cooking burritos. i'm not really hungry. i'm trying to slim down for this gavin degraw concert next wednesday. i had planned on wearing this skimpy shirt (with no bra, of course, i want my tits perky for this cute top i have) and this little skirt and sandals. i'm gonna do my hair up and get my nails and makeup done. it will be HOTT!!! but i have a problem now. it's supposed to be 48 degrees tops that day with rain and snow. damn! well i don't give a fuck, i'm doing what i planned on doing.
and the day after that, on thursday night, i'm 80% sure i'm going to charlotte for my spring break. sam really wants me to go hang out with her. like, she really really wants me to come. i might have to go hang out with my mom and brothers and sister in florida some other time. plus, there's a few people i wanted to hang out with and see while i'm in charlotte. i won't say because torrey might get mad, but i wanted to hang out with a few "people". some "people" have been asking about me and asking me when i'm coming back to charlotte, so i have to make a special guest appearance there. i haven't been there in like seven months. even though i didn't really hang with people while i lived there, "people" sure do miss me when i'm gone.
to this end, i'm gonna study for this bio quiz for tomorrow morning and then cuddle with my suga booga and go to sleep. i'll holla.
love,
jenny
well torrey had been planning this for a little while now, right. so we started off the weekend with him spending the night with me on friday night. so when we got up in the morning, we spent the day together. we left for his room kinda late. i gave him his gift. it was this fruit arranged like flowers. i got lamar something similar one valentine's day (in which i got nothing from him--not even a card). so i got him one and he liked it. he's into fruit, so i knew he'd love it. i got vickey one too and sam, my dad and mattie got to share one.
anyways, after i gave him that and his card, we headed to his room and he gave me flowers and this card that said the sweetest thing. this is some of what it said:
"...on tuesday while you were asleep and i was watching tv, i was watching you sleep. all of the emotions i feel for you culminated and swirled within me. i looked at you preciously and thought, "dammit she can sure as hell get on my nerves like no one else but asleep, albeit from extreme exhaustion, is so close to me, so close in fact as to have the ability to make me angrier than anyone else and hurt me worse than anyone. caring is dangerous. loving is dangerous. but i can't deny it. i love her. i'm scared half to death of the power she has but dammit, i love her." i then began to study your body. "look at jenny's hips, i like how they flow down to her thighs and how her inner thigh goes up to "there". mmmm, yeah she's fine and i can look at this all day and know this deeply." i just wanted you to know what goes through my mind at some really insignificant point in the day and how it ends up being special to me. it happens all the time...i love you. xoxo torrey."
it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever written to me/about me ever. it was touching. and so after the flowers and the card (i was so mad that he didn't get me candy--he always says i don't need to eat so much candy) we went around downtown atlanta. that's where we hit a problem. first of all, it was saturday night, so there were a lot of people anyway. but there were even more people cause there was some kind of cheerleader convention that night, so it was extra packed. every restaurant had over an hour wait. so we just decided to go to this diner that i always wanted to try, that's around campus. it was actually really great. i really liked it better i think than going to some fancy schmancy restaurant. and torrey was like, "you just want a burger huh". he thinks he knows me so well. well i did want a burger. i'm a burgers and fries kind of girl. low maintenance and laid back. a great catch. anyways, we did that, i had this awesome burger. so after that, we were gonna go see a movie, but it was getting late and i was getting so tired. i was dead sleepy, so we just went back to torrey's room and he said he had something else for me. he had drawn me a hot bubble bath with bubbles and flowers and everything. i guess he knows me. i love hot bubble baths. so that was really nice. probably my favorite part. and then he had one more thing for me, but it was late in arriving. so i'll be getting it some other time.
so all in all, it was very awesome.
then on sunday, he started acting up and i had to leave. but when i came back and we slept that night, he had his arm around me the whole night and it felt so great and special. for us to be mad at each other all day and then at night, he was all over me. i loved it. i love being held in my sleep. having a man's arms around me as we sleep. i feel so safe and protected. like nothing can happen to me as long as he's there.
so its monday night now and torrey's in the kitchen of his dorm cooking burritos. i'm not really hungry. i'm trying to slim down for this gavin degraw concert next wednesday. i had planned on wearing this skimpy shirt (with no bra, of course, i want my tits perky for this cute top i have) and this little skirt and sandals. i'm gonna do my hair up and get my nails and makeup done. it will be HOTT!!! but i have a problem now. it's supposed to be 48 degrees tops that day with rain and snow. damn! well i don't give a fuck, i'm doing what i planned on doing.
and the day after that, on thursday night, i'm 80% sure i'm going to charlotte for my spring break. sam really wants me to go hang out with her. like, she really really wants me to come. i might have to go hang out with my mom and brothers and sister in florida some other time. plus, there's a few people i wanted to hang out with and see while i'm in charlotte. i won't say because torrey might get mad, but i wanted to hang out with a few "people". some "people" have been asking about me and asking me when i'm coming back to charlotte, so i have to make a special guest appearance there. i haven't been there in like seven months. even though i didn't really hang with people while i lived there, "people" sure do miss me when i'm gone.
to this end, i'm gonna study for this bio quiz for tomorrow morning and then cuddle with my suga booga and go to sleep. i'll holla.
love,
jenny
Friday, February 15, 2008
i've learned tonight that, for such a small body, i have a very high tolerance of alcohol. i can never seem to get myself drunk. sure, i may have felt a little bit buzzed in the past, but i can't even get myself really tipsy. what's the deal? there are cases of smaller girls who can outdrink men. i think i may be one of them.
i was drinking champagne tonight and vickey was too. she drunk half of what i drank and she was getting a buzz. i drank way more than her and felt nothing.
d'ah well (yeah, i snatched that one from torrey).
peace out.
jenn
i was drinking champagne tonight and vickey was too. she drunk half of what i drank and she was getting a buzz. i drank way more than her and felt nothing.
d'ah well (yeah, i snatched that one from torrey).
peace out.
jenn
i masturbated three times today.
i love my boyfriend and everything, but homeboy is J-E-A-L-O-U-S! for whatever reason (i guess cause i have a lot of guy friends), he thinks i'm stepping out on him which is so funny cause i am like the most faithful, honest person i know. anyone who really knows me knows that. i don't like and cheat. but it's so ironic cause i just got out of a relationship where i had a lying, cheating boyfriend, and now i'm in a new relationship where he thinks i'm the one that's lying and cheating. boy stop! i ain't "stunting" him like that. he hates when i say "stunting". lol, it's so funny. he's so spoiled.
ANYWAYS,
gotta go. peace out.
jenny
i love my boyfriend and everything, but homeboy is J-E-A-L-O-U-S! for whatever reason (i guess cause i have a lot of guy friends), he thinks i'm stepping out on him which is so funny cause i am like the most faithful, honest person i know. anyone who really knows me knows that. i don't like and cheat. but it's so ironic cause i just got out of a relationship where i had a lying, cheating boyfriend, and now i'm in a new relationship where he thinks i'm the one that's lying and cheating. boy stop! i ain't "stunting" him like that. he hates when i say "stunting". lol, it's so funny. he's so spoiled.
ANYWAYS,
gotta go. peace out.
jenny
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