Tuesday, January 27, 2009

i was at the library getting an MCAT book to study and this man stopped me and asked was i in high school. i guess he thought i was skipping class, because it was early in the afternoon. i told him that i went to georgia state (duh! i had on my georgia state sweatshirt) and he was like, 'oh, you look like you're 16! i'm sorry.' so that is sooo annoying. i am still getting that. i first started getting that when i was like 14, 15. i'm almost 24 and i'm still getting it. well at least it's up from 12. i used to get 12 allll the time. now i'm getting numbers like 16 - 19. when i'm 30 and 40, i'm gonna look like i'm in my 20s. they say you can tell what a girl is gonna look like when she's old by looking at her mom. well that clearly is not the case with me. my mom is 53 and she looks a little older than that. that's not gonna be me. i'm gonna be 53 and look like i'm in my 30s (if even that). so i guess i shouldn't be complaining now.

i wore pigtails the other day and my girlfriend was like...'girl, you lookin like a little girl' when she saw me and torrey was like 'what, you trying to look young?' or something like that. so i took those out when i got home. i can't be having that.

torrey asked me the other day why i don't drink anymore and it's because the last time i drank, i got so messed up. i threw up, my stomach was banging. now when i even smell alcohol, i get sick. plus, i just don't have time. i work on the weekends and work on the weekdays, so there's no time for me to deal with any hangovers. when i drink, i like to drink to the point of intoxication, not just casual drinking. but i've been thinking about it, and i think i do want to get fucked up again. i think i may have to holla at that thought.

my drug of choice now is mary jane baby! the thing with me and marijuana is this...it makes me feel really good. it makes me feel really happy and free. i'm that person who, when they smoke marijuana, starts laughing at EVERYTHING! and when i say EVERYTHING, i mean EVERYTHING. i can't believe that i'm that person. usually, when i smoke, i smoke with 'xxxxx' and 'yyyyyyy' and sometimes 'zzzzzzz'. i'm not gonna say their names because who knows who could be reading this. but i'll be smoking with them and they'll start feeling it right away. 'xxxxx' just gets really loose and relaxed when she smokes. 'yyyyyyy' gets relaxed and cool too. 'zzzzzz' gets really paranoid when she smokes. i mean, she gets really paranoid. and me, i just start laughing my ass off. i laughed so hard one time, i seriously thought i might have died. i could not breath, but i could not stop laughing. and it was just deep, continuous laughter for like a really long time. one time, 'xxxxxx' said "and his lip was like this" and made this stupid face and i just lost it. i laughed harder than i ever laughed in my entire life and it wasn't even that funny. i mean, i always end up on my knees, on the floor, on my back laughing. it's so uncontrollable. torrey thinks its an act, but it really isn't. i really do be feeling that shit.

so i'm that girl. i'm that person. i guess it's cause i'm so silly anyways and always laughing and joking, it's really appropriate that i'd be that person. i haven't smoked in a weeks because i'm afraid they'll do a random drug test at my job, but i've been there for months and they haven't done one yet. they haven't even said that they do do those, so i think after my exams this week and after my exam next monday, ya girl is gonna get fucked up.

jenny "who's ready to get fuucked up?" jenn jenn

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