UPDATE!!

ok, so its been a little while since i've blogged...again.

well, i left off last being halfway through my vacation in charlotte. i had a pretty good time. i hung out with people i hadn't seen in a while and i hung out with new people. it was all good times. the person that i hung out with that changed the most since i saw them last was nate. that dude has done a complete 360. he used to be small and fraile and geeky in high school. he's all thick and big and good looking now. it was great. i hung out with him and this other dude we went to high school with. i was sitting up there for an hour before i realized who the other dude was. i used to see that dude every single day at the walmart by my old apartment and one day he even asked me if i went to west meck and that he knew me. so anyway, the three of us hung out for a few hours...talked shit about people we knew. it was fun.

the most fun i had on my trip was playing laser tag with my brother josh, two of his friends, sam, and like 20-30 other kids at the laser tag place. it was so so so much fun. i need to find a laser tag place around here in atlanta. out of the 30 something people playing, i came in fourth. that was my first time and i did so good. it was great. josh came in after me, fifth, and he's supposed to be a marine. they better not get me up there in the marines. i'd be shooting at anything moving. oh yeah, i need to go out to the range and do some damage with a real weapon.

so i stuck by what i said and didn't hang out with lamar. that's cool cause now i know i have some control over my feelings now....or my lack of feelings i should say. it's good. over the next two years, i think i'll probably end back up in charlotte only about twice...max. so that's even better. even less chances to see him. hopefully the next break i get, which won't be until thanksgiving, i'll finally get to go to florida to visit my mama. oh yeah, i'm going back to charlotte for one weekend in may to take sam to her prom. then i have to go right back home cause i have summer classes. i'm gonna be so overwhelmed this summer. but i want to graduate at the end of next year, so i need to jump on the ball.

i got home from charlotte this past sunday night and went straight over to torrey's to spend the night. i was so excited to see him. it had felt like forever. and that kiss we had when i got back...HOTT! it was really good. the best kiss i've had in a week ;) no, but it was much needed.

i kinda missed atlanta and missed going to class, if you can believe that. i really did. we have like 6 more weeks before the semester is over. thank god.

i'm thinking about a couple new schools now. either university of southern california for gerontology or university of southern florida for gerontology. they both offer PhD's in gerontology and they make over $250 a year. i can live with that. i'm going to go see a lady who knows about schools and careers in gerontology on monday.

i'm glad that i finally pulled my shit together. it seems like lamar was the thing that was holding me back from accomplishing what i needed to accomplish. after i left him, i finally decided to pull my shit together. all my affairs are falling into place and i think i'm even happier. i'm not happy that he's sleeping with someone, but overall, i am happier.

so anyways, today, actually since yesterday, torrey has been acting up again. he's really starting to piss me off. his attitude. it's bugging me. like i told him...i've done the drama thing for the past five years with lamar, i don't have the time to put up with it anymore. i started dating him cause i was pretty sure it would be laid-back and drama-free but he's starting to bug me a little. i love him and everything, but DAMN! we'll see how it works out. i just want something laid-back and stress/drama free and easy and fun. that is a lot to ask for, but i'm allowed to have some standards.

ok. i'm done. i need to go study or do something productive. peace out.

jenny