JENNY AND LAMAR

that was me and lamar in new jersey last december
aww, so cute
aww, the only picture i have of us together
lamar trying to attack me
he won

KISSES

so i was thinking about all the different guys i've kissed. just 3. well, i was thinking about the first guy i kissed. that was bad. it was really bad. i was in the tenth grade and he was my boyfriend. he was in the ninth grade though. i know, i know. anyways, he was walking me to my bus...i know i know...and it was raining and he leaned in and started kissing me and oh my god. the worst kiss ever. he had these huge lips, which i loved, but he just didn't know how to work it. it was wet and sloppy, no tongue, just lips and...ugh! well anyways, his name is dekarl and he has a baby by a white girl now. and to think, it could've been me. anyways, that lasted 8 days. and that was the only kiss.

so the second guy, daniel, i initiated that one. we were at the mall hanging out and we're walking through like jc penny or something. and i take us into a dressing room and just like took advantage of him. it was the first time for me with tongue, so that was cool. it wasn't great, but it was pretty ok. defintely better than that first one. that was the first of many with him. it was good, but there just had to be something better. that lasted like 7 months i think. he broke up with me to be with this girl that me and riche hate. i don't even think the girl is cute, but whatever. his loss. like two months later, i got with #3.

lamar...#3. so far, he's been the best kisser. see how i said 'so far'. uh huh. no, he's the best. the first time was like a month and a half after we started going out. yeah, everybody knows i like to take things really really slowly. so we were up in like some extra room in his 'step mom's' house and scary movie was on the tv and that's where it was. not the best kiss ever, but the best first kiss i'd had. and they only kept getting better from there.

so i'm thinking, it keeps getting better with each guy, i need to be doing something here. having some fun. why not? i'm only 21. and it's only kissing. no harm in that right? i like that idea.

RANDOM PICS

this was someting around last christmas
new years eve of course.
getting the party started
around christmas again (that's some great hair)
this was someting around christmas. must have been talking to someone exciting.

i don't know man, i just don't know.

JENNY IN ATLANTA PART II

this is (from left to right) me, landon, vickey, sam and aunt patricia
we had to do this one twice cause landon was acting up. (aren't my cheeks huge?)
vickey, sam and aun patricia, vickey's sister. (they have the same mom)
me, vickey and sam...i love this picture

JENNY IN ATLANTA PART I

i was playing with landon.

me getting "close" with landon (can't you tell that he loves it?)

me playing with landon some more. (that purse is so cute).

landon getting "close" with me. (i was so excited about that).

he was trying to get too close (what the heck was going on with my mouth here?)

CUJO

awww!

LOVECAUCLATOR.COM

so i was as lovecalculator.com where they "calculate the probability of a successful relationship" just by typing in two people's full names. so i did some calculations and here are my findings:

jennifer euniec anderson and lamar tonsul = 29%
jennifer eunice anderson and darnell jefferson = 15%
jennifer eunice anderson and gavin shawn degraw = 82%
lamar tonsul and crystal roseboro = 74%
lamar tonsul and "his lady friend from new jersey" = 67%


interesting.

holla.

GLAMOUR SHOTS

(yeah right)

this isn't my favorite, but i think it's ok.

i'm pretty sure i have on red lipstick here.

i really like this one, but it looks orange right?

ah, just right, but have a few hairs out of place. (not the ones on my head, j/k).

too much makeup

i love the angle on this one, but the makeup has me looking so fake.

wow, i have not blogged in so so long. two months? wow. well i just wanted to post some pics. and i need to start blogging more often. maybe i'll post a few pictures a day with a description with each. i have like over 100 pictures, so that'll keep me blogging for a while.

yo momma so fat, she needs mapquest just to find her neck.

jenn

i have been feeling so bad since i left new york. i have been so sick. i have a cold, i keep waking up with headaches, and my stomach has been killing me. i hope i'm not trying to catch the flu. i caught it when i was a junior in high school and had caught it the week of spring break. what great timing, or else i would have had to miss a whole week of school, it was that bad.

yep, but anyways, today i'll go buy some drugs and hopefully i'll start feeling a little better soon.

all right then, i'll holla.

jenn

so i got the digital camera hooked up now so i can start putting pictures on my blog. i'm so excited about that.

lost tonight. i'm so excited about that.

i need to get some health insurance. i'm so excited about that.

gotta get ready for work now. i'm so excited about that.

holla,
jenny

see, no kitchen darnell! get it straight.

jenn

i went to new york last weekend. it was so great. i might have to move there one day.

we were in brooklyn. i saw china town, little italy, a whole lotta stuff.

anyways, ive been sick since i got back. i caught something while i was up there. i'm trying to get rid of it now.

that's it. i'll holla!

jenny

lost is getting too good. can't wait till next week.

going to new york this weekend. hopefully i'll run into gavin degraw. that'll make my life.

ok, sleep now.

holla.

jenny

this has not been a good week for me. i just hope things start looking up for me.

jenny

yo breath so stank, it smell like you been eating ass chips.

i might be going to new york this coming weekend, but we'll see. lamar will be in new york too, but i feel i need to supervise him for some reason. no trust.

anyways, i'm gonna go now. i'll holla.

jenn

yo momma so old, she saw passion of the christ live.

jenny

yo momma so black, they use her bath water to dye bowling balls.

jenn

yo momma so fat, she sweat meat loaf sauce.

wassup!

so there's this guy at work, doc, who has this thing for me. he liked me a while back, but then i kept writing him up with errors and he backed off, but since he moved to another department at transunion, and i can't write him up anymore, he's been coming around again. everyday he comes by my desk and goes, "hey miss jennifer". i'm like "wassup". then he finds something to talk to me about. he even goes and pretends that he really wants to talk to this girl who's cube is next to mine, but everytime i look up, he's looking at me. when i catch him looking, i like lick my lips and start playing with my nipples. no, i'm just playing, i just smile and continue working right, cause what else could i do? so anyway, today, he tells me that he's going to the beach for memorial day weekend. i'm like, that's cool. and then he invites me to go. he says "i'm going to the beach and it would be so much more fun if i had a girl like jennifer go with me" or something like that. i'm like, "oh, i think i'm going to atlanta that weekend". it was kinda akward, but i gotta give it to him for trying. if i didn't have a boyfriend, i'd holla. just my type too. tall, dark and thick. i love it. this one day, he called himself trying to sneak up on me and scare me. he snuck up behind me and starting rubbing my shoulders while i was typing. that freaked me out sooo bad. i was just sitting there at my computer and then i felt hands on my shoulders. but we both got a good laugh out of it. he loves when i wear my hair down i've learned, so i try to wear it up more often. it's so funny. i haven't had someone have a crush on me in a long time. the last guy was that cop from riverdale at value village. i was so proud of that one. ok, gonna go to bed now. i'll holla.

jenn

lost is really getting hardcore. only three more episodes left this season. i am so much more excited than i should be.

hardcore. i use that word all the time now and my skantch sister sam thinks she can take every single word that i use. she's so lame.

anyway, i gotta go to work.

oh yeah, darnell looks just like that dude from the xbox games commercial that goes "can we have some now mummy?" doesn't he? it's so funny.

ok then, i'll holla.

jenn

whoops, forgot to this do for a few days. but anyways...

it's so disappointing to learn that someone else told your boyfriend that they loved him. but whatever, i guess since i wasn't saying it to him anymore, someone had to to make him feel good. it's a little upsetting, but oh well. he wasn't my boyfriend at the time (it was during our last month long split). but how do you tell someone you love them after, supposedly, one kiss and after only two weeks? he had to have been tappin that. i know it. there's no other way. one of these days, i'm gonna find a place that does lie detector tests and i already have two pages of questions i wanna ask him cause i don't think he's 100% with me. he likes to tell stories i think.

and then all day yesterday, i started thinking about how crystal told him something about liking him and he told her "well you shoulda said something". what the hell? how f-ing rude is that? and he gets mad when i think about it and bring it up, but i'm the one that should be mad. i deserve to get mad and have an attitude. all that shit he does. now i'm getting pissed off thinking about all that shit. i'm gonna be thinking about this crap all day and i really don't need this. i feel like i really don't deserve all that shit that he's done behind my back, or supposedly. i gotta go now. i started the blog feeling ok and now i'm like all riled up. i am so heated. so i'll holla.

jenny

i've been seeing my brother alan when i look at myself in the mirror lately. it's scary. i think me and alan look the most alike out of all 9 of my siblings.

but anyways...oh yeah, i keep forgetting to mention. i met little richard last saturday on my birthday. i will always remember what i did on my 21st birthday forever now. i just had the best weekend of my life. met little richard on saturday and had a really great time with lamar on sunday and monday. the only thing that will top that weekend would be just a second with gavin degraw. to just si 'hi' or something. though longer than a second would be much much better. that would be the highlight of my life. better than marriage or having kids and all of that shit. one day it'll happen.

so i'm gonna go to work now. holla.

jenn

they're sending josh to iraq in a month or so.

i'm going to florida to visit my mom and brothers and sister in a month or so.

i'm not sure what i'm gonna do about school.

i need to get lasik eye surgery soon.

i wanna lose like 10 punds.

i'm so confused about what i need to do right now.

all right, i'll holla.

jenn

so it's been like four months since my last blog and i really need to try to keep up with it this time around.

so, since december. lamar moved to charlotte. so exciting. he moved here in january. so january was great with him and so was february. i'm so happy around him. but then in march, he takes this job working 5 days a week in atlanta. catering for movies. well, whatever, i guess i have to deal with that. he'll do two movies back to back which will mean he'll be in atlanta until around august and come back to charlotte on the weekends. now he tells me he might be catering for ne-yo's tour this summer too which doesn't end until the end of september. so for two months, i won't see him. i know i've gone much longer than two months before, but i got so used to him being around for those couple of months. i just really hope they don't get to do this ne-yo thing. i'm praying for it. and i know that might be such a wrong thing to be praying for, but i just don't think him going around the country for two months will be a good thing for us. i won't be able to supervise him and i already don't trust him, so it'll be very interesting how this turns out. i think i kinda already know, but we'll see. and then we barely even talk during the week now cause he's so tired or busy, i know i won't hear from him at all if he goes on tour. no communication plus no trust equals a very very bad situation. so, i don't know.

anyway, i don't wanna get myself down again with that. on to something else.

in april, my birthday was last weekend, on the 22nd. i went to atlanta for the weekend to celebrate. the first two days, i was so bored out of my mind. me and my mom had plans to go out, but i decided to come on such short notice, that we hadn't really thought through everything. so our plans went bust. but...on sunday and monday, the best two days after my birthday that i've ever had. lamar really know how to make me feel good (not like that you sicko). he made me smile, he made me laugh, and i was just happy and having a good time.

i had gotten my nails done, my hair, fresh outfit, shoes, pedicure, just trying to look cute for my birthday weekend and mostly for lamar right. so we're all over atlanta the day after my b-day, on sunday, and i'm just gettin all kinds of looks from these dudes. oh yeah, gotta do that more often, dress up. anyway, i had fun. had to go home. sad about leaving lamar behind in atlanta.

anyways, so today, i was walking the dog and this dude tried to holla. and if i didn't have a boyfriend already, i woulda holla'd back. he wasn't a thug, he was dressed up like he had just gotten off a 9-5, slacks, button down shirt, tall, dark skinned. just looking fresh. i told him i had a boyfriend and he said that we could just be friends. but i told him i'd see him around. he lives in the same building as me, but a few rows down. i'll make sure to wear something cute whenever i walk the dogs now. i do need more friends.

but anyway, that's about it. i guess a good time to do this every day would be in the morning before work. that sounds like a plan. hope i can remember. i got a bad memory. so anyways, what was i saying? nothing. i'll holla.

jenn

so i have the internet at home now and can blog whenever i want, but haven't been doing it.

so to catch up...lamar's supposed to be moving in with me. hope it works out.

i caught up with brim and am supposed to call her so me her and lang can hang out sometime. awesome!

lamar came up the day after xmas and is staying with me all week. he's staying a little over a week.

that's pretty much it. i'm gonna make this a daily thing again. aight, ciao.

holla!

jenny

so, new jersey....new jersey was a trip. everybody already knows what happened pretty much, but i'll tell it again.

so i was in new jersey for a week, last week, spending some time with lamar. everything was going fine until tuesday night. he was supposed to get off of work at like 2, didn't show up until like 7 or 8. so i was pissed. i had just been sitting there waiting for him. he finally strolls in and he tries to say hey to me, but i'm just like "whatever man". i was so mad. i just laid there and watched tv. so he comes and lays next to me and tries to talk to me, but i just blow him off. so like two minutes after he gets in, there's this really really really loud banging at the door. ok. so i'm wondering if lamar is gonna go get it. he let's the knock for a while before he decides to get up. he first goes to look out the window. i wonder what he's looking for. so after he leaves the window, he goes to the door cause the person is still knocking at the door. it was crazy how loud they were banding. they don't have a peep hole, so he opens the door to see who it is after he asks first but gets no answer. after he opens the door, this girl comes rushing in and is like..."lamar, i have to talk to you. is that jenny?" she steps into lamar's room. he pulls her back out and she's like "jenny you have to know something, lamar had sex with me last week!" what! that's when my heart fell out of my chest and jumped right out the window. i haven't told lamar, but hearing those words just broke my heart. they literally took my breath away. so anyway, this girl is yelling and screaming and punching and kicking and grabbing at lamar and he's trying to stop her or whatever and guess what i did? not a dman thing. i just stood there. i was so scared and shocked and confused. i was thrown off my game. but like i told lamar earlier, that's his problem not mine. but anyway, so lamar is yelling and cursing this girl out telling her to leave and she's still kicking and fighting him. (i am laughing so hard replaying all of this in my mind right now). so they're tussling, they knock a curtain down and they both end up on the ground. a couple of his roomates finally come out. they break it up cause i sure wasn't doing crap. they had to carry the girl outside and that's when i sat down and was like, 'whoa". it was so terrible. they called the cops, they were both about to go to jail and everything. it was straight out of a lifetime movie for real.

so this girl...when me and lamar broke up a couple months ago for that thing he did (which, by the way, i am so mad that he's telling all his people that we broke up because of something that i did or said, that's really f-ed up, they all think that' i'm the bad guy when i've been a f-ing angel for 4 f-ing years), for the five weeks that we had been broken up, he had been seeing this other girl. how do you end something for four years and start something up so soon? i don't get it. anyways, he starts dating this UGLY girl from his job. i am so offeneded that he would even talk to a girl like that. so he talks to her and they go out with him and his friends all the time and she's haning out in his room and he's haning out in her room and they're having all kinds of relations as far as i know. i get so pissed everytime i think about it cause the more and more i think about it, the more i'm realizing that he more than likely did something with this girl. it just doesn't make sense otherwise. she was just acting way too crazy for him not ot have put that thing on her. wow. i try not to think about it but i really need to stop being so naiive and face the facts. no matter what he tells me, i believe that he really did have sex with that girl because when she said that, he didn't even say "what are you talking about? i never had sex with you." or anything like that.

besides that incident, i found out that he's still been lying to me about crystal. i saw pictures of them in his phone again. and i asked him, what's so great and important and special about her that keeps making you risk our relationship? he didn't have an answer for me. another UGLY girl. well my peoples keep telling me to see it for what it really is and to leave lamar alone. i really do need to let him go the more and more i think about it. i don't deserve this shit. i deserve so much better than lamar. someone who is gonna put me and our relationship first. the number one thing i can't stand about lamar is the dishonesty. that's all i really want. is for him to be honest with me at least 90% of the time, but right now, i feel like i'm getting honesty only like 50% of the time and those odds are not good enough at all. i'm about to be 21. 4 years with this guy and i have zero trust in him. that's sad. i should have all the trust in the world in him. i had all my senses when i let him go that time a couple months ago, then i got sucked back in and now i'm so in love with the jerk and i feel right now that i need to get myself back out of this. i knew that when if i got back together with him this time, that it would be a bad idea. i just had this feeling in the back of my head, my heart, but i went for it anyway. now i don't know what to do. i am so fucking weak. lamar doesn't even care for me, but i keep sticking to him. he treats me like crap a lot of the time. this relationship i mean like crap and it's not gonna work out for me anymore.

and another thing. i've been practically begging lamar for an open relationship. for us to be able to be dating other people, but he refuses it. i feel so cheated. i think that he's doing it, so why don't we make it official, him stop being greedy and selfish, and we both can do it? that only seems fair. but no, we can't do that. with us being in a long distance relationship and for so long, i think the best thing for us would be to have an open relationship. we're both so young to be in a long distance relationship this long and having northing else. only seeing each other like 3 times a year.

ok, i'm gonna go now. i'm just going off over here because i'm so pissed and feeling so depressed right now. i probably wrote a lot of stuff that i'll regret later or that i might have to go back and delete...but i don't think i will. it's how i feel right now and i don't plan on going back and chaning anything. so...peace out bitches.

jenny "what the hell am i doing" jenn jenn

going to new jersey tonight. can't wait. i've been waiting on this vacation time for months now. they work me to death up here at transunion. but it's all good, as long as they pay me right? yeah, so anyways,

yeah. nothing new to report today i guess. this time tomorrow and for the next week, i'll be kicking back. oh yeah. i probably won't be blogging, but i'll sure try.

ok, i'll holla.

jenny "did i remember to bring protection?" jenn jenn

one more day and i can finally kick back. it's like the 'luxurious' song by gwen stefani...

workin so hard every night and day and now i get to lay back
workin so hard every night and day and now i get the payback

yeah, anyway, enough of that.

oh yeah, the funniest thing happened yesterday. ok, this guy demarques is gonna be leaving transunion tomorrow, it's his last day, he found another job. so we decided to throw this going away thing for him since he had been here for so long. this girl from data entry sends out an email asking if anyone can bring anything. so frank from proof says he can bring chips and soda, i said i'd bring some cupcakes (by the way, this obsession with cupcakes i'm starting to build? what's really going on with that? i have to have a cupcake every day now.) and then this asian chick, ka, from exam sent out this email and was like, 'i could bring something asian, i could make eggrolls, if not, i'll just bring soda or something'. no for some reason, whenever doc from exam got the email like 10 minutes later, he just started cracking up. apparantly it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. i heard him all the way from the front of the building. well when we finally figured out what he was laughing at, the girl in front of me, toshia, data entry, she was like 'well if she's gonna bring egg rolls, then i'm brining some neck bones'. after she said that, i was done. i was rolling. that was the funniest thing i had ever heard. i couldn't stop laughing for like 20 minutes, it was f-ing hilarious. how the hell you gonna bring some neck bones to an office party full of old white folks. come on now.

but yeah, anyway, that was that. ok, gonna stop wasting time here. i guess i'll holla.

jenny "i'll bring the neck bones" jenn jenn

so sleepy right now. so tired. i need to take my lunch break today, there's a lot i have to do.

my atlanta vacation was nice. was supposed to see riche and the baby, but the timing was all screwed up. i'll have to catch them next time. but i did get to hang out with my buddy daniel. hadn't hung out with him in a long time. when i get back to atlanta, i'm gonna have to hang out with him more often. he really knows his way around atlanta and he's so cool to hang out with. he can get me reacquainted with the city. i think that's the word i'm looking for. that million dollar word. anyway...he took me to the CHEESECAKE FACTORY...and then he showed me around georgia tech. he didn't take me to his room cause it was "dirty". ok, he just didn't want to be in a room alone with me, his overwhelming physical attraction to me was too much and he couldn't be around me. no, i'm just playing. he already told me that it wasn't even like that. i got it.

but anyway, the trip to atlanta pushed me even more into wanting to move back this summer. i'm like 70% atlanta, 30% charlotte right now. we'll see though. i have plenty of time to make up my mind. we'll see how it goes.

so i've been packing for my new jersey trip. two days left. i'm so excited. not as excited as before because i've seen what atlanta has to offer, but still excited. no, i'm just kidding...but not really.

ok, well i'd better go ahead and start this day so i can go home and finish packing. i'll holla.

jenny

i woke up again this morning at 3 something, but i just got up, walked around for a minute, and laid back down and was back to sleep within like 15 minutes. wow. i guess it's getting better now. we'll see how it goes.

all right, holla!

jennifer

i'll be outta town this weekend and the weekend after that. can't wait. hope the week goes by slow.

i've been going to bed early all week, then waking back up at like 2-3-4 in the morning. this happened all last week, so sunday night, i tried taking a nap earlier in the evening to see if i could make it through the night, but nope, woke up at 2 or 3 something again. i'm starting to hate it.

anyway, i'll holla.

jenny

had some really weird dreams last night. two weird dreams. can't write about them here at work, who knows who's reading, so i'll try to write about them this weekend.

anyway, yesterday at work, this one examiner likes blows up at me because i always write him up for internal errors. so he comes to me and is like "why do you write me these errors? they're friggin internal, you got the report back within a couple of hours. internal errors shouldn't count". well if internal errors don't count, i would be error free. 95% of my friggin errors are internal. even though i was a little scared of this dude cause he's at least 6'3", i look up to him and i'm like, "well i'm the only typist who even writes you guys up, if i don't do errors, none of you would be getting errors at all and then our supervisor would then make everyone write up errors and then you'd end up with more errors than what you're complaining about now. and the only time i write up an error is if you do something wrong that, if i type it the wrong way, i'd get an error for it.

so we had this big meeting about it cause he was like really trippin on me. so the supervisor basically told everyone to start writing the examiners up. so i guess he really fucked up that time.

so going back to work now. i'll holla.

jenny

going to atlanta next week, i think. should be fun.

that's all i got.

jenny

i finally wrote my mom the other day. i had to catch her up since from the beginning of high school up until now. it was only like three pages though. not a whole lot. didn't go into great detail. i sent her a few pictures. i asked her for some money for school, but of course she's not gonna help out with that. i've only known her to have one job and she didn't even have that very long. she'll probably write back asking me for money. but we'll see.

i finally bought a computer this weekend. only cost $100. not too bad. just gotta get that road runner set up i guess then i'll be in business. can't wait.

time is still going by so so so slow.

my buddy darnell is ignoring me. that's cool. whatever darnell. i see how it is. don't worry about it.

anyway, i'm gonna stop f-ing around and get to work. i'll holla.

jenn

a little less than three weeks till my vacation. can't wait. it's gonna be so much fun. i am so very excited.

ok, well i'll holla.

jenny

just blogging to say hey.

hey.

holla.

jenn

thinking about getting another body modification. i want to get another tattoo. something on my wrist this time. i'm thinking a barcode. that's what i wanted on the back of my neck, but too many people already have that, so i'll get one on my wrist...the palm side. that should be cool.

and i'm thinking about getting my cartilage peirced again. i already have one hole up there on each ear, now i'm thinking about two at the top of each ear. actually, maybe i'll just take one ear, and get the whole thing peirced, from cartillage to lobe.

i need to cut my hair or color it or something. this look i have is getting very boring. i'll work something out.

ok, well i'm gonna roll out now. holla!

jennifer

it's really good to finally be catching up with lamar. starting to feel like normal again.

jenny

my sleeping pattern is so crazy. i go to sleep so so so early now. i used to stay up to 2 and 3 every morning...now it's like 9 and 10. and i'm still tired when i get up. i must be sick or something. but anyways, gonna go out tonight and catch a movie. this is like the second night in a long time that i get to go out on a weekday and have fun with someone. it's great. don't know what we're gonna see yet. thank god i cleaned up last night, might want to invite someone in for a drink or for some sex, who knows. kinda excited about the possibilities though. ok, going to work now, holla!

jenny "so excited about my 'outing' tonight" jenn jenn

so let's try this again...my job has my blog unblocked again, let's start this thing back up. wonder how long it'll last though.

so i had a really great time this weekend. hadn't had fun in a long long time.

i'm so so so excited about going to new jersey. haven't been really excited to go before, only kinda excited. wonder what's different about this time? i don't know. we'll see how it goes though. i don't expect there to be any kind of problems this time. there usually always is some kind of argument or problem, but i really think we're gonna make it through the week fine.

anyway, work is kinda slow right now. for the past three hours actually, so i'm gonna see if i can't get out of here in a bit.

i'll try this thing again tomorrow.

holla!

jenny "i'm so excited about my vacation" jenn jenn

i feel so happy. haven't been happy in a while. hope it continues.

ok, holla!

jenny

i think i made up my mind what i want to do about school and where to live. but i keep going up and down with this. i'm gonna make a few phone calls on monday...i think i'm gonna take the day off, and see what i can do. if it's what i think it is, i'm gonna go for it. i'm so excited about it too. i really really really hope i can do it. i would be so much happier if i could do it. it would just be so great. i'll put me even more behind than i already am, but all i have is time right? that's ok, i'm not in any rush at all.

if it goes through, i'll write about what i'm gonna do next week.

holla!

i'm still alive...but very confused.

holla!

jenny

hey hey hey. not much to talk about except one thing...

ME AND LAMAR GOT BACK
TOGETHER!

yeah, a lot of people are gonna be unhappy about that, but...whatever.

peace.

jenn

oh yeah, here's the pictures, finally!

it's saturday afternoon and i'm at the library. i was gonna get this computer i've been looking at for a while today, but i had to loan vickey...$500. can you believe that? i can't. but she assures me that i'm getting it back. so i'm pretty much broke again with rent, bills, and then my careless spending...buying junk. anyways, i forgot to bring my pictures this week, but i'll try to remember them next week.

i won these four tickets to the renaissance festival here in charlotte. i think it runs all of october and november, so i have to find some people to go with.

anyway, life is pretty good right now. don't know what much else to say. hopefully, i'll have a computer in the next couple weeks up and running and i can start doing my daily blog again. no, i will definitely have a computer up and running in the next couple weeks. that's for sure. anyways, gonna go now, gotta go take care of some business then go home and maybe take a nap. holla!

jenny

i'll try to get my pictures up here by next weekend. i finally got them scanned, just need to go pick them up.

i went to this place today and i had this stuff written on my arm right. so this drunk old guy comes up to me, grabs my hand and starts writing on my arm. it's his number. yeah fucking right you jackass. he tries to put his arm around me, but that's when i had to let him know. 'don't put your fucking hands on me, you do not know me.' it was so funny. sam started laughing, but i was pissed off. i hate when guys touch me uninvited-ly...that's not a word is it. well anyways, i'm at the library. gonna go now. gonna try to get to a computer to blog more often. holla!

jenn

these dreams i'm having are getting out of hand...two naughty dreams in a row. i'll write about them later.

holla!

jenn

oh i miss my blogger so so so much. i plan on restarting this in a week or so. i can't take it. it makes me feel so much better to be able to write down my problems you know. so yeah, i got work this out. holla.

jenn

oh yeah, i forgot...sam said the funniest thing i've ever heard...well not really, but it was pretty funny.

she was doing some homework and found out that she was left-brained. you know, there are right brained people and left brained people. so she's left brained and this is what she says that cracks me up...

"it looks like i'm left-brained...yeah that's the crip side"

it was so f-ing hilarious. you know from that snoop dogg song. it still cracks me up. ok, back to work, peace!

jenny

if anyone knows me, they know i hate bugs. i am terrified, horrified of them. i was taking the trash out the other night and there was this leaf looking thing on the wall outside and i was walking past it down the stairs and stopped to see what it was. by the time i realized what it was and tried to jump away, the damn that had already jumped on my leg and that's when i lost it. i completely broke down. i screamed so fucking loud and was jumping all over the place. i dropped the trash and made a real scene. my brother came running outside thinking something bad happened to me...and it did...then my stupid neighbor from upstairs came running out to see what the hell was going on. i was scared out of my mind though. i hate bugs.

speaking of that neighbor from upstairs. let me talk about what he did. so it was friday and they had blocked my blogger so after work, i went up to his apartment to use his computer. he was like, 'wait, i have to clear the screen first' cause he had all kind of porn running on there. i was like 'my boyfriend has that crap on his computer too' (i only refer to lamar as my boyfriend to this jackass cause i can't stand him and he's always trying to get me to go somewhere with him) but anyway, this stupid bitch starts rubbing on my back and gets really close to my face and is like 'oh really? do y'all watch it together?' all this while he's 2 inches from my face and rubbing my back. i stopped everything i was doing, looked at him, and told him to get his hands off of me. what the fuck did he think i was gonna do? have sex with him right there on his damn floor just because i might watch porn with my boyfriend? ha! yeah fucking right. i really can't wait for that bastard to get a clue. i won't be going up there again. i need to get darnell up there to beat his ass. darnell, we have to set that up sometime soon. darnell is a good friend. when i'm having a problem with someone, he offers to beat them up for me. that's what a best friend does for you right there. i'd beat up someone for him too. hey, that's what friends are for.

anyway, wrote too much, gotta save some good stuff for later. holla!

jenn

ok, so now it's not blocked, but it'll be blocked again. this job is weird. one day a site will be blocked and the next day it won't. but anyways, i had a pretty good weekend this week. stayed out of the house pretty much the whole weekend. had something to do at all times, which was good. hopefully my weekends will stay packed like that. i guess people are realizing how much fun it is to hang out with me. it's about time! so anyways, that's that.

i'll holla.

jenn

they blocked my blogger at work so i'll be out of business for a while. maybe a couple of weeks until i get my computer and internet set up. gonna miss it. ok, until then.

holla!

jenn

well, last night...same thing. but this time, it was my fault. people finally wanted to talk, but i was so tired. i actually got off of work a little after 5! i could not believe that! i went home, had some pie and ice cream, worked out. it was great. so much free time. a little too much. i'm thinking i'm going home early today too and tomorrow, hopefully. even though i do nothing, it's still nice.

i'm thinking of going to florida to see my mom and the rest of my family for my one week vacation. i wanna go when it's warm though, so i'll have to wait a while, but i think that's a pretty good plan. i only talk to my mom and see her like once every four or five years and i'm not even exagerrating. i have seen her in a few years, so i think the time is coming up. i don't even know if the lady is dead or alive though. gotta write to her since she has never in her life had a phone. come on now!

really wish i could come home to somebody so i could get some lovin. in time i guess. just gotta be patient.

holla!

jenn

i felt so bored and so lonely last night. everybody i called was too busy to talk to me. even my brother cj! and he always talks to me when i'm bored. oh well. so i'm sitting at home all bored, then go pick my brother up at like 8 and then get back home from wal-mart and subway and watch this russian documentary and i try to get up after that and i just feel so drained. this is like around midnight. i just feel so week, i can barely stand up and my legs feel all shaky. and on top of that, i had a headache all day and i couldn't sleep. so i get up and bake this pie. i was all excited about baking it too and i was gonna have a piece when it was done, but i finally got sleepy around 2, had to take the pie out early and went and laid down and fell asleep. then the phone rang...thinking somebody finally wanted to talk to me...anybody, i was so disappointed when they asked for josh.

yep, that's pretty much how the rest of the week is gonna go i'm sure, but hopefully that'll be changing really soon.

holla, jenn!

last weekend was pretty fun. me and sam dressed up in these 30's costumes and had these huge tommy guns and jack daniels bottles and stacks of money and robbed this one bar at carowinds. no, we just posed for some old-time pictures and they came out really good. we spend the whole day out there and it was my first time, but i had a lot of fun. then later that day, we got dressed up, drove down to eastland mall and took some pictures as blue kiss. those turned out really well. i'm gonna try to get them scanned soon and put them up on here. but anyway, the weekend was all right. could have been better, but it was ok.

so my boss shari asks me to...for the next couple months or so...work double shifts. a couple of our senior typists are leaving and until they can hire a few more people and get them trained, she asked if i could stay and do the two girls that are leaving shifts. i basically do it every day anyways, so i told her sure. so that's it for me for the next couple months. sleep, work, sleep, work. big difference from what i'm doing now right? right.

oh, i've been talking to this new guy. i was getting change at the store because i had to pay someone for something and i have this really short skirt on cause i call myself trying to look cute for carowinds in case i wanted to holla at somebody and this cute guy comes up and starts talking to me. so his name is clint and he's 26 and we exchange numbers. so i talked to him a couple times, but i don't know about him yet. i'm not seeing anything special yet, but i guess time will tell. time will have to tell soon though or else i'm gonna have to cut him.

oh, so darnell is single now. uh oh, we're both single. no, it's kinda weird that they would break up over some stupid stuff that i made up. i'm really sorry darnell, but y'all will work it out. i know it. it's nothing serious like the shit i've had to go through. anyway, i won't touch on that today. i have to just leave that in the past and move on.

ok, so i'm gonna holla. get ready for this long ass day. peace!

jenn

i think i'm gooing into my depression-mode again. ohhh it sucks so bad.

jenn

ok, first of all, to set the record straight, me and darnell did nothing. we only hung out one time since we graduated like two years ago and that's it. i did not see the "black thunder" ok. it was all a joke, so people need to calm down. i thought it was extremely funny, but to others, i guess not. come on, if i didn't have sex with my own boyfriend of 3+ years, i'm not gonna have sex with a person i've only seen once in 3+ years.

anyway, i waited 30 minutes for gas yesterday.. there's been this gas scare and everyone has been rushing to the gas stations thinking the gas is gonna go up again (it's now at 3.19 in charlotte, come on now!) and that it's gonna run out. same again this morning. gas stations were packed. it was crazy.

ok, hopefully it'll all get better.

holla!

jenn

i'm learning how to play texas hold'em-poker-and this is what i figured would win. anytime there's a chance to bet, always bet the maximum you can bet. if there is no maximum, always bet the exact same amount every time. a nice high number too. do this when you have a good hand and when you have a bad hand. no matter what, always bet the exact same amount. most likely, the others players will fold. even if they don't fold, i still end up winning. by chance? who knows. by skill? i think so. i'm still confused about a couple of things in the game, but i'm getting there. soon, i'll be an ace. but i'm still not sure when to check or when to call or how one hand will be another hand. i don't really get the rank of the different hands, but i'm playing a computer and as long as somebody knows and i get my money when i win, then it's all good.

jenny

i am so excited, in the like six years that i've lived in charlotte, i am finally going to carowinds this saturday. it's gonna be a small group of us too, so that's even better. me, sam, josh, and his girlfriend mylanta, milk of magnesia, kaopectate (her name is mylanda, but i always call her something else-like nice soft chocolatey laxative). but she's a big girl. a really big girl, but hey, if that's what you're in to.

i've been doing these crunches and been on this 1,000 calories or less a day diet. i just wanted to tighten my stomach up and it is really working. i can't wait for darnell to come back to charlotte. we're gonna be up at the gym all the time and he's gonna be my work out buddy. that's gonna be my motivation to go cause i won't keep going by myself.

oh yeah, i gotta limit what i say about darnell. his "girlfriend" might be reading. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! darnell, i gotta let the secret out...your girlfriend has to know about that one time you came over and we were supposedly gonna be "watching tv". that was some sweet lovin'. and those other times when we were supposed to be just "hanging out". the best i ever had. and if she has anything to say about it, just pop her in the lip for me ok?

anyway, working now, holla!

jenn

i just read this thing about teens who wait till 18-after high school or higher to have sex. they did this research on 18-38 year olds and came up with this:

• 
  They completed an average of one year more of higher education.
  
  
• Their incomes were 20 percent higher.
  
  
• They had about half the risk of divorce.
  

so, i'm still sure i made the right decision-am making the right decision-who cares what darnell and lamar says.

and darnell, you're supposed to be my buddy, my friend, you need to stop feeding me that bullshit about me being selfish...we're supposed to be on the same team! i wiped your lip! doesn't that mean anything?

anyway, holla!

jenn

this just isn't my week.

jenny

weekend was pretty decent for the first time in a long time. i had won tickets to go to this sister hazel concert, this like alternative rock band from the early 90s...anyways, i was gonna go, but there was some confustion with my tickets and where they were so i was just like, "it's not that serious, that's okay" and that was it. but whatever. next weekend, labor day weekend, 3 days, should be much better. sam's gonna hang out with my all weekend. darnell might spend one day over. i don't know, we'll see how it goes. either way, it should be much more fun than this past weekend.

all righty then, gonna get started on work. work has been so slow lately. the past week, i've been getting off at 4:30 and 5:30, that has been sick. i can't believe it. it feels so weird to get home that early. looking for the same kind of schedule this week. i can finally catch up on conan. i hadn't watched that in weeks.

ok, holla!

jennifer