Woke up thinking about my bae <3

This is how I know my boyfriend loves me: he initiates a game with me on my favorite app even though he can't stand the game <3 He's so sweet. 

Our kids are gonna be SOO precious :)

En route to my heart/my man, and my city <3

When I tell you I have come out of my shell...honey...ya gal is out there! I'm loving life right now :)))

We fight and argue, but always end up finding our way back to each other <3

Oh the things that are seen cannot be unseen. 

So apparently my ring size is ~4.5-5.0 Just throwing that out into the universe. 

Craving some intense physical affection right now :(

I have officially been turned off from Valentine's Day forever! I will never celebrate V-Day with anyone again. This was the worst one yet. All it takes is one bad experience to ruin it for you forever and that's what it's come to for me. Oh well. 

I have a cousin that's two months older than me and she just wished her son a happy 15th birthday O_o (she has three kids)

My favorite pics from last Monty's EyeBall <3

This is just a small selection of some of my faves. I was quite wasted and apparently, I'm a flirty drunk. And I like to dance with EVERYONE when I'm wasted. 

Can't wait for next year. I'm bringing my man!

In other news...I'm craving some Almond Joy so bad right now!!

Going home to see my boo thang this weekend! <3

I'm really in love with this song right now. Christina aguilera does a version with the singer, but even though she's an awesome singer, the song is just so much better by himself. His voice is so simple, but so perfect for this song. 

http://youtu.be/VVgixOjGhVU

I'm sorry, but shih tzus are THE cutest dogs ever. Someone take away my Instagram cause I can spend hours looking at shih tzu videos and pics <3

I feel like I'm coming out of my shell and becoming a nice little social butterfly. Slowly but surely and I'm loving it! :)

I never want to taste alcohol again ever! Worst hangover ever. Killer headache and threw up five times today! Was in bed til 7:00 pm. As soon as they said free drinks...I lost my mind. I've learned my lesson for sure!

One of my favorite new pastimes? Looking at shih tzu pictures on Instagram. <3<3<3 

Shout out to my boo for buying me this REALLY NICE winter coat. He got me exactly what I've been looking for for almost a year but couldn't find. He knows me so well! Just got it in the mail yesterday and love it so much already :) And he bought me my ticket for Days of the Dead this year! Our third time going together. And he always pays for me to come to Atlanta. And he always pays for me when I'm there and even when he comes to visit me in Memphis. He's visited me maybe 5 or 6 times since I've been here while I keep BEGGING my family to come see me and they won't :( He even surprised me one time and drove six hours to Memphis to see me <3 He told me to look outside my window one Saturday night and there he was! Shocked the hell out of me! But I loved it. So sweet. I'm just not used to this kind of love and attention in a relationship but I adore it. I'm so used to being the one paying for everything. This is so foreign to me. How sad is that? We say we love each other like 100 times a day. We hold hands. We laugh at each others jokes. We just get each other. 

Ok. I'm done gushing right now. Gonna go back to sleep. Got a busy day and night ahead of me. 

Big Day tomorrow. Good night!

Tipsy after a night out with the girls. See the red? ;)

Love the jacket boo thang!!! Love you so much!! *muah*

<3<3<3

Ooh. I might have to do an externship in Miami. It's beautiful!! A friend did an externship rotation in Miami and it looks amazing. I think I may choose New Mexico and Miami! :)) But wait, what about Denver?? Decisions decisions. 

I LOVE a good burger. Good night!

I look at this photo of my booski as a toddler and I just think: 'I can't wait to have babies with this guy!' He's sooo cute! He's gonna give me beautiful babies! I can't wait! <3

It's gonna be a long semester. 

I think I'm going to do a residency in Atlanta after I graduate. Residencies are optional for optometry students. They pay very little and last a year, but you get more experience and higher pay when you're done than a person who didn't do a residency. There are so many places in Atlanta that take residents. Sounds like a good idea to me! I'm going for it!

Lol. I feel like an old lady learning how to use the Internet/a computer for the first time. Sheesh. 

Ooh shoot. I now have access to my phone's camera roll on my blog. Dun dun dun! It's going down! Instagram and my blog are about to be live!!! #staytuned

What?!? I'll beat the whole Internet up if I have to ;) :c

I'm sad. Missing my boo thang :(

Ok, good night!

And...One more year I think and this will officially be my longest relationship. I better get a ring with this one...I'm so tired of putting in all this work/time/effort for nothing. I'm ready for my family dammit!

And...4 years later and I still love the feel of my tiny hands in his <3

And...I'm taking this new medication and its been giving me restless leg syndrome. I jitter my leg so bad. I always did it before, but now it's just awful. I can't help myself. I do it while sitting down AND while sleeping. It's so bad, my boyfriend will get up and move away from me cause the shaking annoys the hell out of him. Lol. Oh well. 

And...can I just say that after sleeping with my boyfriend in his bed for almost three weeks in Atlanta then having to sleep alone in my bed in Memphis is SOO hard those first few nights back :( Good night *rocks self to sleep*

With that, I'm going to bed. Holla!

So I definitely want to do one extern rotation in New Mexico...but where to do the other??? I'm thinking either Colorado, Florida, Atlanta, New York City, or Alaska. I have about 7 months to decide!! I get to live in these two places for 4 months. We've been reminded to choose a place where we may want to end up working. One of the three rotations has to be in Memphis :((((( Come on fourth year!!! I can't wait. And...I'll start seeing real patients this May. In five months!!!!! I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I'll be examining and diagnosing and prescribing. I'm scared! But I got this. Just gotta make it through this semester. Didn't I say big things were gonna happen for me in 2014?? The last full year in my 20s :( I so can't wait for Haiti. I'm so happy. I love optometry school. I made the right choice :))))

Did I mention that Robert Downey, Jr. is my #2 boo now, followed by James Franco? Jason Momoa isn't even on the list anymore. I was reminded that my boos are all (more like 95%) white guys. I blame the fact that there aren't a lot of young black celebrities. The ones that are around are overrated! Interestingly, I've never dated outside of my race. Maybe in another life. 

My boyfriend told me long nails and nail polish aren't for me. I can't keep either for long. He's right. I need to keep my nails clipped and stick with clear polish. Fine with me. 

So I was 'honey blonde' my last couple of years in high school. I've decided to go red for 2014 :) The whole thing isn't red, just a section in the front. May end up doing the whole thing if I love it. It's cute. I think I do love it. Besides, who wouldn't want a red fro?

Tomorrow is a snow day so no school on our first day back from winter break! I'm so bored so I'll probably blog a few times before I turn in for the night. 

Back in Memphis. Time to grind. I have big things happening for me in 2014.  Happy new year! :)

Have you ever been with someone where you think that you're not home unless you're with them? I've never felt that way either till recently <3

1.5 years down, 2.5 years to go till that Dr. A status. Till that six figure status. Till that sports car in every color status. Till that mansion status. Till that swimming in a bathtub full of cash status. It's so close I can taste it. 

Boyfriend is at work so I'm tres bored right now. I'd like to take this time to confess my domino obsession. Since this summer, I've played almost 3,000 games (on my phone) and I can't put it down. I've been in all kinds of domino tournaments and almost won some money once. I've got a sickness. It's an addiction. But I've gotten SOO good though. Ok, bye!

Goals for 2014:

1. Get my weight up (currently 90 lbs)

2. Get a ring on it

3. Get pregnant (ok, these two are a stretch)

4. Get Instagram (am I the only one without one??)

5. Make more friends 

6. Enjoy my last year in my 20's!!!

7. Continue working out everyday and drinking my daily 50 oz. of water

8. Lay off the candy, cupcakes, cake, pizza, burgers, fries...all that crap. It's i eat!!! Do better girl!

9. Volunteer even more

10. Be a boss ass bitch

I love waking up looking into his green eyes...his body touching mine. That's my heart <3

I'm falling in love with smooth jazz. I like to study with it on and sleep with it on. It's soo soothing. Pandora has an awesome station. 

Was just scrolling through pics of all my brother's kids. I have 10 neices and nephews. Phew! My oldest brothers have kids, I was skipped, now my younger siblings are starting to have kids. I don't know what that says about me? Funny though, not one of my siblings is married though. I won't make that mistake at least :)

<3 <3 <3 Love the sound of his voice <3 <3 <3

What do I want for Christmas?? Hmm...two things come to mind. Money to help fund my mission trip to Haiti this summer or...a shiny diamond ring. Either or ;) If anyone is willing to make a contribution to either, hit me up :x

Yeah, I like to call my man at 3:00 in the morning and tell him I love him and miss him <3 <3 <3 #IgotAcrush

I'm so excited to be going on a week long mission trip to Haiti in May. Gonna go save some vision!

Super long day. I just wanted to go home and curl up in bed with my man as he rubbed my belly til I fell asleep. But I'm in Memphis and he's in Atlanta :( Love me some him.

Alone for Thanksgiving :(

Currently 92 lbs O_o

Missing my boo thang :(

Less than human :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

Craving lots of tiny kisses along my tiny ribcage. I've never wanted that before, but at this very moment...I want it xx

Really considering doing an externship in New Mexico. 

Love love love this song...

http://youtu.be/L_PS8wZNqrc

:) I never thought I'd actually have a sugar daddy. And I really never thought that sugar daddy would be my own boyfriend. It's kinda sexy :)

I've been getting all these spam comments on old posts on my blog. 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 I'm getting too much unwanted attention. Gonna have to go private soon. 

ScienceShot: Heavy Stubble Makes Men More Attractive - ScienceNOW

ScienceShot: Heavy Stubble Makes Men More Attractive - ScienceNOW

See, this is what I love. A man with a nice hairy face. There's something so masculine and testosterone-y about a beard and mustache. It's so sexy. My boyfriend has this really nice beard. He's light skinned so he has blonde hair and brown hair mixed in, so it's really cute. He had a goatee I think when we met, but I talked him into the full on beard and he's been that way since. He does like to shave it off though when we get into an argument. He says it has nothing to do with me but I know it does.

Anyway. Here it is. Scientific (somewhat) proof that women prefer facial hair on a man. We find it more sexy. Confirmed.

See ya!

I don't know. I'm doing something wrong. I've spent all of my adult life (even since I was 16) in a relationship and what do I have to show for it?? Certainly no ring on this finger. I'm almost 30!! That's almost 40!! I've had a boyfriend of 5 years with no intentions of popping the question and now this one of almost 4 years who got scared to death when I asked him about marriage. I've come to think that it must be me. Cause there are SOO many girls YOUNGER than me getting married, having kids, starting families. It's not fair! It's what I wanted for so long! I never wanted to be a 30 year old bride or mom. I really think I got the short end of the stick in this life. It's not fair. I just truly want a ring from someone who really wants to give me one and who I really want to get it from. I want to go ahead and settle down and start my family and be happy. I'm tired of waiting. 

Done venting now. In other news...I'm sleepy. Bye. 

So I have new boos now. Ryan Gosling, Jesse Williams, and the Hodge Twins. They can all get it ;)

Random thought at 1:00 am...I still haven't made it to Monroeville, PA.

Sometimes I just feel like a complete waste of space. I don't even know why I'm here.

I'm such a happier person when I'm in Atlanta. I don't care for memphis, but I have to put up with it for two more years :(

I need to let go and let god.

>:( still pissed ):<

Two more years at school in Tennessee and then one year of externships then I'll be Dr. A. I'm attractive, I'm smart, I'm funny, and fine, I have this weird thing going on with my weight where I keep losing pounds but it could be worse, I could be gaining. I'm gonna get that in check though one day soon. Actually I think I already have. I think I've topped off at about 100 lbs. So that's good. I haven't really gotten any lower than that yet. But I say all this to say that it's all good that my boyfriend would rather be single than to marry me. Whatevs!! I will be just fine. I have a lot going for myself cause if he doesn't want me, I can find a thousand guys that will line up around the block for me, ok!

Can you tell this whole thing has been bothering me for a few days?? Well it has! At first, I was like, whatevs, that's how you feel, that's fine. Then I was hurt, but now I'm really pissed. After what we went through with him telling his ex he wanted to marry her, I'm pissed. I'm pissed that he lets me be around his family, but would rather be single than marry me. This is why I don't discuss marriage with boyfriends. I never ever asked a previous boyfriend about marriage...ever. This was the first, and last, time. I knew I always wanted it with Lamar, but we never talked about it in the five, six years we were together. We had way too many problems. But me and Lance have been together three years and things have been going pretty good so I asked and boy did that go wrong. Never again.

Ok, well I want to be done talking about this now. Just wanted to get it off of my chest. *sigh*

My eyes are becoming clear 😳

I oftentimes think I don't get all the happiness I deserve :(

So I ask my boyfriend of three years about marriage and all of a sudden he wants to be single again. Interesting because this is the same guy who told his ex, behind my back while we were together, that he wanted to marry her and have her kids. That's ok. That just means I'm not the one and that's fine. I said that earlier. It's just now hitting home. And as 30 is fast approaching, I don't know, I feel like I have to do something about it soon.

And now I'm sure :( Oh well.

My boyfriend's mom thinks I look like Megan Goode (hadn't heard that in a while) but he says I look more like Brandy. He's hatin'.

Chicks my age either have a ring or a baby. I've always wanted both, but guess their not in my cards right now. Haven't met 'The One' yet I guess.

goes.

me lose weight. I've already lost a fifth of my body weight in four months. We'll see how it

Between August and December, I lost 25+ lbs. And I'm still losing. Going into the new year under 100 lbs. I'm on this medication for migraines and its making

I also need to start blogging again.

I used to laugh a lot. I'm gonna start doing that again.

I live in Tennessee now. Long story. Massive update blog on my hiatus coming soon.

-Jenny

Having my last morsel of sweetness (candy) and possibly writing my last blog before the start of Lent. May not be back til April. Cya suckas!

Tomorrow is Lent. What will I give up for the Lord? I'm thinking about sweets and blogging so if you don't hear from me til April, you know why (dang, and I had resolved to blog every day this year, too...but what's 40 days?). And another 40 days of just water and no red meat or chicken. After February is over, I'm gonna at least start having fish again.

-Jenn Jenn (more and more people have taken to calling me this lately. It's become my name of choice now of Vickey, Landon, and some people at work. I wonder when and how this all happened--and seemingly all at the same time). Cya.

I hate this job.

"I will never settle for being someone's second choice when I know that somewhere I am someone's first choice."

I was bored and couldn't sleep and I happened to end up reading Lamar's old blog. He only bogged a few times in 2003 and once (and for the last time) in 2005. We dated from 2001 to about 2006 or so. So in 2003 during his blogging period, we had been together for two years. From re-reading his blog, I think he really did love me and really cared about me at one time. It's amazing and shocking to see what he wrote about me/us seeing how our relationship had ended. He said I was the love of his life (we were 18, but it was still cute), how he loved me so much, how he wanted to marry me one day, how he was falling more and more in love with me everyday, how he couldn't wait to hear my voice on the phone, just such sweet sweet things. Things had ended so badly with us, I don't even remember him being that sweet to me. It was just amazing.

Anyway, clearly I was bored. I've never really been single for too long, so I guess the solitude and single-dom has me reviewing my previous relationships and trying to figure out what went wrong and the warning signs to look for during the next go around and what to avoid. Every relationship had an aspect of having something that completely topped anything I'd had with the other relationships (even with Lamar) and things that were so terrible (ESPECIALLY with Lamar) and I'd have to say that Lamar topped both those extremes, unfortunately. I think my next blog may list all the pros and cons of ALL of my exes. This will be a check-list of sorts of what to look for and/or avoid in my next relationship. Anyway, I'm gonna get some sleep in before I head to the gym in a couple hours.

I don't think I've mentioned on my big that since November, I've been working out with a personal trainer. Trying to tone up and whatnot. I'm finishing up the fourth month of working out and the results are coming very slowly, but surely. Building muscle in my legs, shoulders, arms. Losing a little bit of fat, but its going pretty good.

Ok, I'll ttyl.

Jenn Jenn (as Landon has grown accustomed to calling me now--he got it from Vickey.)

I've only been single for a few days and I'm already aching for companionship. It's a sickness, I know. But I'm determined to beat it this time.

*headache* Wish there was a magic pill that'd make me never have a headache again. Oh yeah, its called a bullet...& I'd have to apply it directly to my brain.

"If you're thirsty, I'll be rain. You get hurt, I'll take your pain." -Gavin DeGraw

Oh my god. Prince is so nasty. I just had to wrangle what I assume to be my sister's dirty panties from down his throat. Literally! I'M DONE!! Goodnight.

Just finished washing AND blow drying my hair in a really reasonable amount of time this go around. Roughly three hours :S Gonna go natural for a while.

Why can't I look as good as RuPaul? Oh wait, I do...when I try ;)

I feel like I should make a trip to Charlotte soon if only just to get some Jack in the Box back in me. Can't believe Georgia doesn't have a single restaurant.

I REALLY think I need to do a video of me going super saiyan...for reals. Ripping off my shirt, vein popping out the head and the whole bit. Coming soon...