"Don't make someone a priority who only makes you an option."
i read this on someone's facebook page and thought about how true it is. this one sentence, 11 words sums up the over 5 years me and lamar were together. i can't think of a more perfect way to describe what we had.
oh yeah, paradise hotel 2 starts tonight. i am so excited.
and torrey met my brother cj last night. the three of us went to go see a movie. it was fun.
torrey keeps telling me he has something special planned for valentine's day and i totally forgot that i had to do something for him until he brought it up the other day. dang! i totally forgot. now i have 10 days to come up with something.
jennifer
Monday, February 04, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
so, i've decided, to stay celibate/abstinent/virgin for a long time. fuck, it's not the end of the world if i don't have sex. there are plenty of 22 year olds and older who don't do it. an ex boyfriend of mine is about to be 23 and he's still a virgin. i'm not gonna fall into the pressure of guys begging me for it. fuck that. and if that means i have to be by myself, well what - the - fuck - ever!
i'm getting tired of engaging in these sexual activities. i'm done. i'm officially waiting for marriage. i thought about giving it up in the past and recently, but naah! i'm better than that. i'm gonna finish undergrad, go to med school, and just do me.
i'm starting to feel, too, that i shouldn't have jumped myself into this relationship that i'm in now. i've been really wanting to be single recently and i have no idea why. i don't need to be in another long term relationship. me and torrey are going on four months now. i need to start setting relationship limits for myself, or just not date at all. i need to do me for a while. i've been in long term relationship after long term relationship. i'm coming to realize that i'm not a long term relationship type of girl. maybe i'll just stay single until i can figure out what i need.
and fuck this blog.
i'm getting tired of engaging in these sexual activities. i'm done. i'm officially waiting for marriage. i thought about giving it up in the past and recently, but naah! i'm better than that. i'm gonna finish undergrad, go to med school, and just do me.
i'm starting to feel, too, that i shouldn't have jumped myself into this relationship that i'm in now. i've been really wanting to be single recently and i have no idea why. i don't need to be in another long term relationship. me and torrey are going on four months now. i need to start setting relationship limits for myself, or just not date at all. i need to do me for a while. i've been in long term relationship after long term relationship. i'm coming to realize that i'm not a long term relationship type of girl. maybe i'll just stay single until i can figure out what i need.
and fuck this blog.
i really had trouble getting up this morning. i only got a little under three hours last night. and the night before that, i only got about 4 hours. so in the past two days, i've gotten less than 7 hours of sleep. i will be going to starbucks this morning. or saxby's. that's opening on campus this morning. all students and faculty get a free cup today.
i have this bio quiz this morning. i'm really prepared this time. i've found that making flash cards is extremely helpful. i used to think that i wouldn't be one of those lame asses that didn't do that, but i guess i am now.
i think torrey is one of the most understanding boyfriends a girl could get. i told him that i was mad about something lamar had told me and he was so understanding and comforting to me. i was mad and sad for like two days, but he kept trying to make me laugh and make me smile and telling me that it was all ok. most dudes would have gotten ticked off that i was thinking about my ex. but he's cool. i guess i'll keep him.
getting straight a's this semester is not looking completely impossible right now. in fact, it looks very likely.
i was looking at the university of new mexico website and to be accepted into their med school, they don't require any maths!!! dunh dunh dunh!!! that means, i don't really have to talk calculus. but i will anyway. besides, i might not even get into UNM. but that's definitly my first choice. i really want to move away from everyone i know and start fresh. but the thing is, they don't accept many out of state students. they usually only take about 75 med school students a year and 97% of those are from in state. i guess i could be in that few 3%. but most of that 3% come from students that live around new mexico or have parents that live in new mexico. that really sucks, but i'm gonna apply anyway. i gotta see if there are any other med schools in new mexico.
i really need to look into doing my volunteer hours and research hours really soon if i want to get into a good med school. i don't have much time left here in georgia state.
four weeks until the gavin degraw concert...28 days. the countdown begins.
ok, TTFN (vickey loves saying this now, it is so annoying).
jenny
i have this bio quiz this morning. i'm really prepared this time. i've found that making flash cards is extremely helpful. i used to think that i wouldn't be one of those lame asses that didn't do that, but i guess i am now.
i think torrey is one of the most understanding boyfriends a girl could get. i told him that i was mad about something lamar had told me and he was so understanding and comforting to me. i was mad and sad for like two days, but he kept trying to make me laugh and make me smile and telling me that it was all ok. most dudes would have gotten ticked off that i was thinking about my ex. but he's cool. i guess i'll keep him.
getting straight a's this semester is not looking completely impossible right now. in fact, it looks very likely.
i was looking at the university of new mexico website and to be accepted into their med school, they don't require any maths!!! dunh dunh dunh!!! that means, i don't really have to talk calculus. but i will anyway. besides, i might not even get into UNM. but that's definitly my first choice. i really want to move away from everyone i know and start fresh. but the thing is, they don't accept many out of state students. they usually only take about 75 med school students a year and 97% of those are from in state. i guess i could be in that few 3%. but most of that 3% come from students that live around new mexico or have parents that live in new mexico. that really sucks, but i'm gonna apply anyway. i gotta see if there are any other med schools in new mexico.
i really need to look into doing my volunteer hours and research hours really soon if i want to get into a good med school. i don't have much time left here in georgia state.
four weeks until the gavin degraw concert...28 days. the countdown begins.
ok, TTFN (vickey loves saying this now, it is so annoying).
jenny
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
oh yeah, i forgot.
so i bought my gavin degraw tickets the exact second they went on sale. so i was looking on ebay to see if they would have jacked up prices for tickets on there. so i looked...and they did. and a lot of these sellers were selling the tickets for up to about $179 for two tickets. the damn tickets were only $26.50 each. and at most places, they weren't even sold out, as the sellers were claiming. i hope the idiots on ebay check ticketmaster before they get chumped out like that. that is such a rip off.
anyway, there's this bid on charitybuzz.com for two front row tickets to a gavin degraw concert and a one on one piano lesson from him. the auction ends in eight days and only one person has bid so far and she bid $1000. i think i'm gonna try for it. i'm gonna end up spending up my summer tuition money, but i think it might be worth it. hell, i'll find the money from somewhere. but i won't bid over $1500, i had to set a limit for myself, or i'll get greedy with lust for this dude and blow all my money.
but hopefully i won't win so i can actually stick with this schedule that i have and take the 5 classes that i planned on taking this summer. if they had winter sessions like they had summer sessions, i could be graduating at the end of this year i think. how lame.
ok, i think i'm done for real this time.
jenny "love whore" jenn jenn
so i bought my gavin degraw tickets the exact second they went on sale. so i was looking on ebay to see if they would have jacked up prices for tickets on there. so i looked...and they did. and a lot of these sellers were selling the tickets for up to about $179 for two tickets. the damn tickets were only $26.50 each. and at most places, they weren't even sold out, as the sellers were claiming. i hope the idiots on ebay check ticketmaster before they get chumped out like that. that is such a rip off.
anyway, there's this bid on charitybuzz.com for two front row tickets to a gavin degraw concert and a one on one piano lesson from him. the auction ends in eight days and only one person has bid so far and she bid $1000. i think i'm gonna try for it. i'm gonna end up spending up my summer tuition money, but i think it might be worth it. hell, i'll find the money from somewhere. but i won't bid over $1500, i had to set a limit for myself, or i'll get greedy with lust for this dude and blow all my money.
but hopefully i won't win so i can actually stick with this schedule that i have and take the 5 classes that i planned on taking this summer. if they had winter sessions like they had summer sessions, i could be graduating at the end of this year i think. how lame.
ok, i think i'm done for real this time.
jenny "love whore" jenn jenn
i miss darnell. he kinda just dropped me after me and torrey started dating, but i really miss him. he made me laugh. and he cared about me. i haven't talked to him in three months.
the thing about torrey is, he doesn't laugh at all of my jokes. and i think i'm pretty funny. he laughs at most of them, but not nearly enough as i want him to. but whatever!
and i keep finding these hairs, white girl hairs, in his bed sheets. and not even one or two, but several.
all guys are dogs, but i can't do anything about it anymore, so i might as well embrace it.
ok, i'm done talking nonsense.
love,
jennifer aka "mikey's girl"
the thing about torrey is, he doesn't laugh at all of my jokes. and i think i'm pretty funny. he laughs at most of them, but not nearly enough as i want him to. but whatever!
and i keep finding these hairs, white girl hairs, in his bed sheets. and not even one or two, but several.
all guys are dogs, but i can't do anything about it anymore, so i might as well embrace it.
ok, i'm done talking nonsense.
love,
jennifer aka "mikey's girl"
i love my brothers...all of them.
they know how to treat a lady...or their sister anyway.
if i don't graduate at the end of next year, i'll kill myself. or at least by spring '10. if i didn't take those 3 or 4 classes that i already had credit for, i could be graduating next spring. i'm such a dumbass sometimes.
i can't wait to go to med school. i'm leaning more towards new mexico than morehouse. we'll see.
jenny
they know how to treat a lady...or their sister anyway.
if i don't graduate at the end of next year, i'll kill myself. or at least by spring '10. if i didn't take those 3 or 4 classes that i already had credit for, i could be graduating next spring. i'm such a dumbass sometimes.
i can't wait to go to med school. i'm leaning more towards new mexico than morehouse. we'll see.
jenny
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
i'm slowly losing the battle with my addition to coffee.
damn you Starbucks and your rich, smooth blends of mild Colombian coffee, my favorite. and your espresso brownies and rice krispie cakes and chocolate loafs.
and damn me for buying a jar of folgers colombian blend coffee so now i can drink a cup every morning before i go out.
i have a problem now, i know it.
i need a venti cup right now.
jenny
damn you Starbucks and your rich, smooth blends of mild Colombian coffee, my favorite. and your espresso brownies and rice krispie cakes and chocolate loafs.
and damn me for buying a jar of folgers colombian blend coffee so now i can drink a cup every morning before i go out.
i have a problem now, i know it.
i need a venti cup right now.
jenny
Monday, January 28, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
i'm starting to feel like i'm being used...sexually.
some psycho the other day called me like 9-10 times, like twice an hour for about 7 hours. they would call my phone from a blocked number and when i answered the couple of times that i did, they wouldn't say anything. i was telling people about it and they were all like, "maybe it's your ex". so i text him and no, it wasn't him. so i have another dude in mind that it could be. actually another two dudes that i think it can be, but they haven't called me anymore, so i guess i'm good...for now. or it's some pyscho girlfriend of some dude who has my number and name in his phone. but whatever, i'm so over it.
gavin degraw will be mine in a little over a month. i cannot wait. pictures will be posted. he is too hott.
other than that...oh...i'm looking into doing some summer internships for biology research at morehouse school of medicine. hopefully i'll get in. i need to get all my stuff together and turn in everything by the end of next month. but the thing is, i'll be a full time student, monday - friday this summer too so hopefully everything will work out. i'm trying to graduate next year.
i'm still feeling good about med school in new mexico or at morehouse. if i get the internship at morehouse, i think that will put my foot one step closer into the door. i think my life is gonna turn out just how i want it to...career wise anyway.
other than that, everything is the same as it has been.
i was considering, again, the sex thing with torrey, but lately, i've been feeling really used.
torrey tells me that in my sleep, i rock my pelvis back and forth and breath really hard. lol, that is so funny cause i don't remember doing any of that. and he said that last night i was doing it and let out a loud moan afterwards and then my breathing got really shallow after the moan. that's so hilarious. i guess since i'm not having sex in real life, that my body, my brain is giving me dreams about having sex to tell me "hey, you need to get on it". but the thing is, i don't remember these dreams or even doing the thrusting or heavy breathing or moaning. it's so weird. he says i don't do it all the time, but pretty often.
WHATEVER!
another thing is, i told torrey that if gavin decided to choose me as his groupie for the night, that i would readily go. he did not like that at all. he got so pissed. he was like, "if that happened, and you went...we're through" and then he started acting all pissed off for the rest of the night. it was so cute, but would i really give him up for one night with gavin? HELL YEAH! i don't give a damn. that's a once in a lifetime chance. i want that man is so many ways. i'd let him do whatever the hell he wanted to do to me. it would be so dirty. but so great.
i'm thinking about cutting my hair. one of those really low cuts. not like a dude cut, but a cute, short, pixie, halle berry back in the day cut, but a little longer than what she used to have. not a bob, but an all around short cut. and then dying it dark jet black. hmm. i'm considering a cut. we'll see how it goes.
school is going really great so far. i'm making so many friends at georgia state. but they're all...surprise surprise...dudes. all but two are dudes. and they're not even all just black dudes. i think i have like one or two black dude friends at georgia state. the rest are asian, indian, south american, exotic shit like that. it's cool. and they are really cool dudes too.
so i guess that's it for me. i'll holla peeps.
love, jennifer
some psycho the other day called me like 9-10 times, like twice an hour for about 7 hours. they would call my phone from a blocked number and when i answered the couple of times that i did, they wouldn't say anything. i was telling people about it and they were all like, "maybe it's your ex". so i text him and no, it wasn't him. so i have another dude in mind that it could be. actually another two dudes that i think it can be, but they haven't called me anymore, so i guess i'm good...for now. or it's some pyscho girlfriend of some dude who has my number and name in his phone. but whatever, i'm so over it.
gavin degraw will be mine in a little over a month. i cannot wait. pictures will be posted. he is too hott.
other than that...oh...i'm looking into doing some summer internships for biology research at morehouse school of medicine. hopefully i'll get in. i need to get all my stuff together and turn in everything by the end of next month. but the thing is, i'll be a full time student, monday - friday this summer too so hopefully everything will work out. i'm trying to graduate next year.
i'm still feeling good about med school in new mexico or at morehouse. if i get the internship at morehouse, i think that will put my foot one step closer into the door. i think my life is gonna turn out just how i want it to...career wise anyway.
other than that, everything is the same as it has been.
i was considering, again, the sex thing with torrey, but lately, i've been feeling really used.
torrey tells me that in my sleep, i rock my pelvis back and forth and breath really hard. lol, that is so funny cause i don't remember doing any of that. and he said that last night i was doing it and let out a loud moan afterwards and then my breathing got really shallow after the moan. that's so hilarious. i guess since i'm not having sex in real life, that my body, my brain is giving me dreams about having sex to tell me "hey, you need to get on it". but the thing is, i don't remember these dreams or even doing the thrusting or heavy breathing or moaning. it's so weird. he says i don't do it all the time, but pretty often.
WHATEVER!
another thing is, i told torrey that if gavin decided to choose me as his groupie for the night, that i would readily go. he did not like that at all. he got so pissed. he was like, "if that happened, and you went...we're through" and then he started acting all pissed off for the rest of the night. it was so cute, but would i really give him up for one night with gavin? HELL YEAH! i don't give a damn. that's a once in a lifetime chance. i want that man is so many ways. i'd let him do whatever the hell he wanted to do to me. it would be so dirty. but so great.
i'm thinking about cutting my hair. one of those really low cuts. not like a dude cut, but a cute, short, pixie, halle berry back in the day cut, but a little longer than what she used to have. not a bob, but an all around short cut. and then dying it dark jet black. hmm. i'm considering a cut. we'll see how it goes.
school is going really great so far. i'm making so many friends at georgia state. but they're all...surprise surprise...dudes. all but two are dudes. and they're not even all just black dudes. i think i have like one or two black dude friends at georgia state. the rest are asian, indian, south american, exotic shit like that. it's cool. and they are really cool dudes too.
so i guess that's it for me. i'll holla peeps.
love, jennifer
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
february 27, 2008.
I'M GONNA GO SEE GAVIN DEGRAW!!!!
i am so excited. this union is about three - four years in the making. i bought two tickets this morning when they went on sale at 10 am. i'm pretty sure i was the first one to buy tickets for atlanta. i don't know who's coming with me yet. i don't want to bring torrey in case i want to throw myself at gavin. oh crap, i have to go get a hot dress, some heels, my nails done, my hair and makeup done, it will be hot. i will be hot. me and gavin will be hot. and hopefully i can win some meet-and-greet backstage passes. i will remember to bring the camera and to charge up the batteries. and in case that wants to act up, i better bring a regular camera.
since i bought my tickets first, i should be getting some prime seats. this will be the best night of my life.
ok, enough about that. school started back up. it's going pretty good so far. i'm predicting straight A's this semester. crossing my fingers.
torrey and me are really good. we've been dating for about three months now. it's a really beautiful thing. not a single problem yet. i think this one is gonna make it.
i should be graduating at the end of next year. if i plan out my schedule right, i can finish as early as the end of next year. i am such a G.
so i'm into the Cool Kids now. they're an indie hip hop group, but its not really hip hop. it's like rock hip hop. i like it. it's two dudes, mikey and chuck and mikey is really cute. but gavin still holds #1 in my heart. i have "black mags" by the Cool Kids on my myspace page, but i'll probably switch it over to a gavin song real soon. gotta represent.
i cannot wait until february.
ok, peace out.
jenny
I'M GONNA GO SEE GAVIN DEGRAW!!!!
i am so excited. this union is about three - four years in the making. i bought two tickets this morning when they went on sale at 10 am. i'm pretty sure i was the first one to buy tickets for atlanta. i don't know who's coming with me yet. i don't want to bring torrey in case i want to throw myself at gavin. oh crap, i have to go get a hot dress, some heels, my nails done, my hair and makeup done, it will be hot. i will be hot. me and gavin will be hot. and hopefully i can win some meet-and-greet backstage passes. i will remember to bring the camera and to charge up the batteries. and in case that wants to act up, i better bring a regular camera.
since i bought my tickets first, i should be getting some prime seats. this will be the best night of my life.
ok, enough about that. school started back up. it's going pretty good so far. i'm predicting straight A's this semester. crossing my fingers.
torrey and me are really good. we've been dating for about three months now. it's a really beautiful thing. not a single problem yet. i think this one is gonna make it.
i should be graduating at the end of next year. if i plan out my schedule right, i can finish as early as the end of next year. i am such a G.
so i'm into the Cool Kids now. they're an indie hip hop group, but its not really hip hop. it's like rock hip hop. i like it. it's two dudes, mikey and chuck and mikey is really cute. but gavin still holds #1 in my heart. i have "black mags" by the Cool Kids on my myspace page, but i'll probably switch it over to a gavin song real soon. gotta represent.
i cannot wait until february.
ok, peace out.
jenny
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
new years day. oh my goodness. i experienced things on new years day that i have never experienced in my life.
torrey and i took it to a whole new level. that was the first time another person has ever given me an orgasm. i won't go into detail on how he did it, but it was pretty good. i had fun, he had fun. no "sex" was involved, i'm still a virgin, but i'm half way there.
new years eve night, me and torrey were supposed to go to the peach drop in downtown atlanta, but our plans changed and we (me and vickey) threw a hell of a last minute party at the house. we did karaoke, told jokes, laughed, talked, listened to music, it was a lot of fun. torrey stayed the night and the next morning, we explored new things. it was a lot of fun.
i go back to school on monday. i have a full load again. i got my grades back from last semester, four A's and one B+. all that after four years off. i have five more classes this time around. hopefully i'll do as well. i think i'll do ok though.
i stepped on the scale the other day...102. wow. i am a hot mess. that is so funny.
ok, well i have to go handle some business. peace.
jennifer
torrey and i took it to a whole new level. that was the first time another person has ever given me an orgasm. i won't go into detail on how he did it, but it was pretty good. i had fun, he had fun. no "sex" was involved, i'm still a virgin, but i'm half way there.
new years eve night, me and torrey were supposed to go to the peach drop in downtown atlanta, but our plans changed and we (me and vickey) threw a hell of a last minute party at the house. we did karaoke, told jokes, laughed, talked, listened to music, it was a lot of fun. torrey stayed the night and the next morning, we explored new things. it was a lot of fun.
i go back to school on monday. i have a full load again. i got my grades back from last semester, four A's and one B+. all that after four years off. i have five more classes this time around. hopefully i'll do as well. i think i'll do ok though.
i stepped on the scale the other day...102. wow. i am a hot mess. that is so funny.
ok, well i have to go handle some business. peace.
jennifer
Friday, December 28, 2007
torrey comes back today.
i write about this dude alot. i need to find other stuff to write about.
classes start in another week. i'm ready to go back, but then i'm not.
i think i'm gonna get a couple more tattoos soon.
i actually got good gifts this year. the last couple years, i just got sweaters. this year, i got a lot of useful things. i got a computer desk from vickey and vickey's sister got me two pairs of lounge pants, a books-a-million gift card and some perfume. vickey's boyfriend gave me money. torrey is giving me my gift today. i was surprisingly pleased this year. i'm so used to not getting anything. i would give so much and my own "boyfriend" never got me anything. i got him this $300 him last year and i got nothing. i spent just about the same amount on him last year and i got nothing. he was a huge vadge. i actually did get something last year, but he stole it and returned it for the money. i guess i meant shit to him. being with a guy who treats me right, i'm realizing more and more how i was much i was just shitted on. i had been thinking about him the past few days, with the anniversary coming around the corner, but now that i'm remembering all of the bad, i think i'm over that crap now. i'm still mad about it. it's been over for a while now, but i think i'll be pissed for a long long time. pissed at all the time i wasted with him.
but i'm wondering if whoever he's with now, if he's spending money on her. if he's buying her things and paying for shit when they go out. i bet he does and that sucks. i was so screwed over. if he does pay, it's because whoever he's going out with is sleeping with him. anyway...
they say if you still get upset over an ex, that you still care. but i don't care...i'm just pissed off. i'm mad as hell and writing about it lets me feel better about it. so now what?
anyway, now that i've vented, i can go and make some waffles now. i'll holla atcha bitches. peace.
jennifer
i write about this dude alot. i need to find other stuff to write about.
classes start in another week. i'm ready to go back, but then i'm not.
i think i'm gonna get a couple more tattoos soon.
i actually got good gifts this year. the last couple years, i just got sweaters. this year, i got a lot of useful things. i got a computer desk from vickey and vickey's sister got me two pairs of lounge pants, a books-a-million gift card and some perfume. vickey's boyfriend gave me money. torrey is giving me my gift today. i was surprisingly pleased this year. i'm so used to not getting anything. i would give so much and my own "boyfriend" never got me anything. i got him this $300 him last year and i got nothing. i spent just about the same amount on him last year and i got nothing. he was a huge vadge. i actually did get something last year, but he stole it and returned it for the money. i guess i meant shit to him. being with a guy who treats me right, i'm realizing more and more how i was much i was just shitted on. i had been thinking about him the past few days, with the anniversary coming around the corner, but now that i'm remembering all of the bad, i think i'm over that crap now. i'm still mad about it. it's been over for a while now, but i think i'll be pissed for a long long time. pissed at all the time i wasted with him.
but i'm wondering if whoever he's with now, if he's spending money on her. if he's buying her things and paying for shit when they go out. i bet he does and that sucks. i was so screwed over. if he does pay, it's because whoever he's going out with is sleeping with him. anyway...
they say if you still get upset over an ex, that you still care. but i don't care...i'm just pissed off. i'm mad as hell and writing about it lets me feel better about it. so now what?
anyway, now that i've vented, i can go and make some waffles now. i'll holla atcha bitches. peace.
jennifer
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
it is what it is.
torrey went home for christmas. his parents want to meet me, but it'll have to be some other time. i don't think i'm ready for it.
i had this dream about lamar last night. i dreamt i randomly saw him somewhere on the street and we began chatting. he said he was dating this 18 year old girl for about five months and then he pulled out this pregnancy test that he had bought for her. he said he was worried about being a dad. i told him i was with someone and that he was 20 and that i was happy. we both just kinda seemed happy for each other. and then torrey shows up and we're suddenly at my house and torrey's sitting there eating cereal and lamar was looking jealous.
but the last time i had a dream about lamar, it turned out to really be about me. the last dream i had about lamar, he was with a new girl and telling this girl, while i'm sitting right there, how he wanted to be with her and make things work out for her and that i meant nothing to him. shortly after that, i'm the one who started dating someone new. so who knows, maybe this dream means i'm gonna be having sex soon and maybe getting some pregnancy scares. and i might run into lamar (yeah right) and catch up with him about it. sounds a little far fetched though.
i don't want to be a 23 year old virgin.
i had another dream last night that i had a thick asian boyfriend and that we were just laying in the bed and he had his shirt off and i was just lying in his arms. it was so odd.
anyways, torrey is coming back on friday. i cannot wait. i really do miss him so much. he supposedly has a gift for me. i can't say that lamar has ever gotten me anything in our five years together. i spent so much on him and i got nothing. what an idiot i was.
i wonder why lamar was such an idiot for screwing us up. it was a really good thing. i don't know, i've been thinking a lot about it lately. maybe because our "anniversary" is coming up on new years. i hadn't thought about him in a long while, but all of a sudden sometime earlier this week, it started hitting me. if we were still together, we'd be celebrating our 7th year together. and he just kept screwing up. i guess he figured that i wasn't going anywhere. that i'd always be there. now look at us. we don't even speak. and that is so sad cause i talk to every single one of my other boyfriends. but i can't be friends with that dude. he's such a vadge. he was such an asshole to me. and for what?
well whatever, i guess i shouldn't worry about it anymore. i'll be going out to the underground's "peachdrop 2008" this year with torrey to create new memories and after next week i think, lamar will be out of my thoughts.
i just realized, i don't even remember the date me and torrey got together. damn! wow. well hopefully he knows. i think it was sometime in october. towards the end of october i think. so we've been together for a little over 2 months. he told me he loved me about a month into it. come on, can you blame him, lol. no, but really though.
ok, well enough with that. i'm gonna go now. i'm talking a bunch of nonsense.
i'm getting tired of this blog thing. i know i always say this, but i think i'm gonna give it up. or at least not blog so often, which is what i've been doing the past few weeks. i think i may start blogging like once a month. yeah, they'll be really long blogs, but so what. yeah, that sounds like a plan. so i guess at the first of every month, if i can remember, i'll start that. starting in january.
well all righty then. i'll holla jan 1st.
love,
jennifer e. anderson
torrey went home for christmas. his parents want to meet me, but it'll have to be some other time. i don't think i'm ready for it.
i had this dream about lamar last night. i dreamt i randomly saw him somewhere on the street and we began chatting. he said he was dating this 18 year old girl for about five months and then he pulled out this pregnancy test that he had bought for her. he said he was worried about being a dad. i told him i was with someone and that he was 20 and that i was happy. we both just kinda seemed happy for each other. and then torrey shows up and we're suddenly at my house and torrey's sitting there eating cereal and lamar was looking jealous.
but the last time i had a dream about lamar, it turned out to really be about me. the last dream i had about lamar, he was with a new girl and telling this girl, while i'm sitting right there, how he wanted to be with her and make things work out for her and that i meant nothing to him. shortly after that, i'm the one who started dating someone new. so who knows, maybe this dream means i'm gonna be having sex soon and maybe getting some pregnancy scares. and i might run into lamar (yeah right) and catch up with him about it. sounds a little far fetched though.
i don't want to be a 23 year old virgin.
i had another dream last night that i had a thick asian boyfriend and that we were just laying in the bed and he had his shirt off and i was just lying in his arms. it was so odd.
anyways, torrey is coming back on friday. i cannot wait. i really do miss him so much. he supposedly has a gift for me. i can't say that lamar has ever gotten me anything in our five years together. i spent so much on him and i got nothing. what an idiot i was.
i wonder why lamar was such an idiot for screwing us up. it was a really good thing. i don't know, i've been thinking a lot about it lately. maybe because our "anniversary" is coming up on new years. i hadn't thought about him in a long while, but all of a sudden sometime earlier this week, it started hitting me. if we were still together, we'd be celebrating our 7th year together. and he just kept screwing up. i guess he figured that i wasn't going anywhere. that i'd always be there. now look at us. we don't even speak. and that is so sad cause i talk to every single one of my other boyfriends. but i can't be friends with that dude. he's such a vadge. he was such an asshole to me. and for what?
well whatever, i guess i shouldn't worry about it anymore. i'll be going out to the underground's "peachdrop 2008" this year with torrey to create new memories and after next week i think, lamar will be out of my thoughts.
i just realized, i don't even remember the date me and torrey got together. damn! wow. well hopefully he knows. i think it was sometime in october. towards the end of october i think. so we've been together for a little over 2 months. he told me he loved me about a month into it. come on, can you blame him, lol. no, but really though.
ok, well enough with that. i'm gonna go now. i'm talking a bunch of nonsense.
i'm getting tired of this blog thing. i know i always say this, but i think i'm gonna give it up. or at least not blog so often, which is what i've been doing the past few weeks. i think i may start blogging like once a month. yeah, they'll be really long blogs, but so what. yeah, that sounds like a plan. so i guess at the first of every month, if i can remember, i'll start that. starting in january.
well all righty then. i'll holla jan 1st.
love,
jennifer e. anderson
Saturday, December 22, 2007
well damn, maybe i am in love. at times, i feel like i wasn't ready to say it and at other times, i feel like i really am in love. who knows. i've been thinking about giving it up again.
torrey had a white girlfriend before me...just like lamar. so am i some kind of transition girl. what's the deal?
these braids are coming out in the next week or so. i'm ready for a wash.
my brothers josh and cj will be here this weekend. i need to find something for us to do.
riche broke up with her boyfriend of 4.5 years. i feel so bad for her, she's been crying and feeling terrible. i know exactly what she's going through. i felt bad for months, but i got over it. she will too.
i'm 22 and i'm finally getting my life back on track. i'm finally a sophomore and i'll be a junior by fall of next year. i'm so excited. i should graduate in fall of '09 or spring of '10. then off to medical school. i'm off to great things.
jennifer
torrey had a white girlfriend before me...just like lamar. so am i some kind of transition girl. what's the deal?
these braids are coming out in the next week or so. i'm ready for a wash.
my brothers josh and cj will be here this weekend. i need to find something for us to do.
riche broke up with her boyfriend of 4.5 years. i feel so bad for her, she's been crying and feeling terrible. i know exactly what she's going through. i felt bad for months, but i got over it. she will too.
i'm 22 and i'm finally getting my life back on track. i'm finally a sophomore and i'll be a junior by fall of next year. i'm so excited. i should graduate in fall of '09 or spring of '10. then off to medical school. i'm off to great things.
jennifer
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
i may have been a bit premature in saying "i love you" i think. like, i was feeling it when i said it, but i'm not sure if i'm in love just yet. i mean, i really really like this dude, but i think i may have been a little pressured to say it cause he had said it to me three times already. oh geeze louise.
jennifer
jennifer
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Thursday, December 06, 2007
so i said i slept with torrey. well we did sleep. no sex though. i just thought it was a funny thing to say. no, but i slept over a few nights ago and we got up and he made breakfast. it was a good time.
i was laying there on his chest and he had his arms around me and one arm around my wrist/hand and he told me that he's falling for me and that he MIGHT really love me. so that's like, aww. then tonight, we were making out and it was getting hot and he said that he really did love me. it was special.
i mean come on, who can resist my charms? ;)
oh, and another thing. i haven't slept in almost two days and i'm not even joking. the last time i went to sleep with tuesday night. i got up wednesday morning around 7 and have been awake ever since. i had to stay up last night to study for a test and right this long ass paper for my chem lab. i've been awake now for 40 hours. one day, i'm gonna try for 48. hell, if i had someone to hang out right now, 11 pm on a thursday night, i'd go for it. but torrey has class tomorrow and riche just broke up with her boyfriend i think, so she's out of it.
but anyways, i guess i need to get to sleep before i start talking funny.
peace bitches
jenny jenny jennifer (as landon says)
i was laying there on his chest and he had his arms around me and one arm around my wrist/hand and he told me that he's falling for me and that he MIGHT really love me. so that's like, aww. then tonight, we were making out and it was getting hot and he said that he really did love me. it was special.
i mean come on, who can resist my charms? ;)
oh, and another thing. i haven't slept in almost two days and i'm not even joking. the last time i went to sleep with tuesday night. i got up wednesday morning around 7 and have been awake ever since. i had to stay up last night to study for a test and right this long ass paper for my chem lab. i've been awake now for 40 hours. one day, i'm gonna try for 48. hell, if i had someone to hang out right now, 11 pm on a thursday night, i'd go for it. but torrey has class tomorrow and riche just broke up with her boyfriend i think, so she's out of it.
but anyways, i guess i need to get to sleep before i start talking funny.
peace bitches
jenny jenny jennifer (as landon says)
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