i can't believe i'm finally back in class...and finally going out with dudes again...it's been a while. i've been out of the game for too long.

how about this dude i went out with a couple times just popped up yesterday to where i live...uh...not cool. he's already showing stalker potential, i better cut him loose. i swear to god he calls me like 4 or 5 days a week. too much. you would have think i gave him some or something...but nope...i just got it like that. time to move on to the next couple of potentials. i've been giving out my number and talking to dudes and getting numbers, but haven't really gotten the guts to call anyone yet.

school work is tough...but mostly the calculus...but i'm getting back into the swing of things.

i'm happy at where i'm at in my life right now...i need to keep up the work.

more later.

peace out.

jenny

i've learned that no matter how great you think you are as a girlfriend...the dude will always leave you if you don't give it up...and they usually leave you or cheat on you with ugly girls. that's what's sad.

school's going good. i just added a sixth class. i'm trying to play catch up, so...i have the maximum number of hours allowed at georgia state. if i keep this up and work through my summers, i can graduate in 2009. i need to look into taking the CLEP for some of my required classes. oh yeah, and the price of books is murder. but whatever, it has to be done.

and these georgia boys! wow. i'm in love already. the guys down here are just gorgeous. i'm meeting dudes and getting and receiving numbers. this dude just yesterday came up to me and tried to holla...and i had my glasses on! dudes really rarely holla at me when i'm wearing my glasses, but these are my newer, cuter glasses, so maybe that's why. so i'm feeling all right right now.

all right then, peace out.

jennifer

i've been in atlanta for less than 24 hours and already i have a date for sunday night. i have a family reunion from my mom's side in atlanta, which i had no idea i even had family in atlanta...so i'm so excited about that. find some family i can go chill with while i'm here.

anyways, i need to go finish doing what i do.

peace,

jennifer

i saw transformers today...it was cool.

the real world sydney starts tonight...that'll be cool.

i'm addicted to myspace...not so cool.

jenny

I NEED TO HAVE SEX BEFORE DECEMBER 21, 2012.

i was watching the history channel and that's the day the world is supposedly gonna end...according to a lot of people. especially the mayans. they predicted, hundreds of years ago, that 2012 would be the end of the world. some say it's gonna be a huge comet, some say it'll be a natural disaster (floods, global earthquakes and tsunamis and storms), and some say it'll be man made (war, bombs). but maybe they're just picking the number because of all the 12's (12/21/12). nostradamus and the oracles...they predicted a lot of crap a long time ago that's coming true now. but they never find out until the event actually happens, so i think it's a load of crap. anyone can make those predictions.

but anyway, the point is, i need to get laid within the next five years. hopefully sooner rather than later, so i can actually enjoy more sex. i can't believe i took five minutes out of my life talking about this.

peace.

jennifer

i cannot stop saying "TMI". "TMI" has replaced "douche bag" as my most overused phrase. it's something new every month, i swear.

anyways, since i moved out of my apartment, i have been so bored here at my dad's. i don't even know what to do with myself. but i'll be spending my last few days here trying to hook up with old friends before i go to atlanta. i can't wait to start classes. i'm so ready. i bought a bunch of school supplies, a few clothes, i have a new hairstyle (can't do the weave anymore, not really my style, i like to keep it real). i may have to start rocking the fro more often (i'm trying to let my hair grow back since it was acting up a couple months ago and just broke off like crazy). but i'll be all right.

i've actually been glancing at online personals. i'm so ashamed. i don't like being single. i need a guy in my life. but i'm so sure, that before this year is over with, i'll at least have someone in mind. atlanta is filled with a bunch of good looking guys.

anyways, i'm about to bounce. i may go see a movie, get some more new clothes, go get a hamster (yes, i'm serious), all that good stuff. peace bitches.

jenny

44 THiiNGS A GiiRL WOULD DiiE 4
(i prob wont die, but these are some good ideas!)

1-touch her waist
2-talk to her
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss them slowly
6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when your with your friends
11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends. it makes her feel loved
16-always hug her and say i love you when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-hug her from behind around the waist
19-tell her she's beautiful not sexy!
20-tell her the way you feel about her!
21-kiss her on the lips
22-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you buy HER stuff.
23-TELL HER WHAT FEELS GOOD
24-make her feel loved
25-buy her stuff. like small things can still help
26-don't lie to her
27-dont cheat on her
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-messege her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school/work, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needs you, even though she doesn't need you just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you
31. Hold her close when she's cold and she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the tip of her nose; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. When she complains that her neck/shoulders hurts massage them for her.
36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible
41. call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
43. Take her for long walks at night.
44. Always Remind her how much you love her.

now all of these are true, but the ones i marked in red are the ones i like the most. i need to find the guy that can do all of that for me. not too much to ask for right?

i realized today that by the time my mother was my age, she had two kids already.

i had always hoped to be married with kids by the time i was 25 or 26. i wanted, no, i still want like 8 kids. as many as i can have. but here i am, a 22 year old virgin...probably a 23, 24, 25 year old virgin. it's becoming more and more clear to me how sad that is. i wish i had the courage to go through with it. i really do wish i could just do it, but i just have issues with it. ohh...one day.

i'm trying to get serious here. i need to get on the ball. if i'm 30 and still alone, i need to go ahead and kill myself i think. but they say, sex and marriage can still be good after 30 and you can still have kids well into your 50s and 60s. no rush for me i guess. if it happens, then it happens. if it doesn't...then i adopt and learn how to masturbate (and i have tried it once or twice, but it never works out for me--maybe my problem is worse than i thought, but it'll be fun trying...i'll get it eventually).

love, jenny

love, jenny

what a long couple of days! i moved all my crap to atlanta, then had to get my apartment all cleaned out. i steamed the carpets and shampooed them, scrubbed the walls clean, vacuumed, wiped, sprayed, and polished every inch of that apartment and i am beat. but the apartment looked brand new when i left it. i'm planning on getting that whole deposit back...i need it!

and today, wow. i did most of my work today. i think i sweated off ten pounds today with all of the running around i did. but at least i'm done. i'm really really sad about my apartment though. i'm done, gone from it. i really need to get a job so i can get my own place soon when i move back to atlanta. i've been looking for a third shift data entry job...which atlanta has tons of. i'm crossing my fingers.

anyways, my body is so so sore. my back and my arms and shoulders. i really did work myself these last two days. i'm in pain. i need to soak in a nice warm tub. but it feels weird, like i have no home right now. school starts in two and a half weeks and i should end up in atlanta in the coming next few days. we'll see how it all turns out. i know i'll be all right though. i'm in good hands...my own.

all right then, i need to rest. peace out.

jenny

guess who's back..back again...jenny's back...tell a friend.

jennifer

tomorrow

-jenny

my aunts pat and shirley finally made it in last night after midnight with my cousins mane and patricia and jeremiah. i'm so excited. i left work early today to hang with them. i was supposed to stay to six pm all week to make up time, but i'm gonna try to leave at 3 instead to go hang out with my fam. they're gonna be here all week, but i want to spend time with them. for most of them, it's their first time in fort mill/charlotte.

anyway, i'm finally done. every single thing is packed and away in a box, marked and taped up. now i pick up the truck on wednesday and move my crap. thank god. i'm so ready to go and get this done.

anyways, it's almost 11, i need to go showers, no bathe, because i packed up my shower curtain and shower head, pick out my work clothes for tomorrow, brush my teeth then go to bed.

oh...i finally get my new glasses on thursday. i think i wrote about it already, but i'm getting an eye exam for glasses and contacts and getting maybe two pairs of glasses and two boxes of contacts. that's gonna set me back about $300 or so. i'm gonna be so broke next month. that's really the only thing i'm stressing about. hopefully things will work out for me.

ok, i'm out. peace.

jenny jenn jenn

so this weekend i saw 'hairspray' and 'chuck and larry'. now "chuck and larry" is the funniest movie i have seen in a long time. it was really good. and 'hairspray' was good too, but i liked the original better.

next weekend, i have to see 'the simpsons movie' and 'i know who killed me'. but i don't know if i'm gonna see them here or in atlanta. i want to go ahead and move to atlanta, but i need to stay and work and get a few extra bucks in my pocket because i'm going broke fast. i have to pay $950 to break my lease, $168 for the moving truck, $91 for the rental car to get back home...money money money money. no one wants to hire me in atlanta. i swear, the first offer i get, i'm taking and i'm moving down to atlanta the next day. i'm starting to hate charlotte. so many bad memories. the sooner i can leave the better.

ok, peace out. i'm gone. i need to arrange my boxes cause my aunts and cousins will be here in a few hours.

love,
jenny

there's two more tattoos that i'm planning on getting. one on each wrist. i won't say what they'll be, so if you ever see me, you can find out for yourself. they'll be cute though. sooner or later, tattoos will cover my whole body. no, i wouldn't take it that far. i remember a time that i didn't want any tattoos. so i'll be getting these new ones in the next couple months here. i'm so excited about them too.

so two of my aunts are coming to charlotte/fort mill tomorrow. i'm excited about seeing them and about them seeing my apartment, even though it's all just boxes. i don't know how long they're staying. and then two of my brothers, alan and c.j. will be here mid august, but i'll be gone by the time they come around. it's so sad. all this good stuff is finally happening in charlotte, but i have to leave. my brothers are coming, i've gotten three really good job offers here. i've applied for so many jobs in atlanta and haven't gotten a single call back yet. i'm still hopeful though.

hopefully i can get a third shift, full time job. that'll be perfect for me. and then i can buy a house. after i save up for a year or two first though for a down payment and all that good stuff. listen to me, i'm so grown.

anyways, that's it. the powerball numbers are coming on soon, so i'm gonna watch that, close up a few more boxes, then go to bed. i have to go greet my aunts tomorrow. they're driving up from florida. that's a long ride. so anyway, peace out.

jennifer

it's friday night. looks like im going to the beyonce concert that's coming up here in charlotte sometime in the next few days with a couple of girlfriends. let me tell you, black girls are hard to get along with, but thank goodness i have a couple that aren't chickenheads.

and it looks like i'm going to be able to see on thursday. i get my new eye exam, glasses and contacts, finally! i put my contacts in or put on my glasses and i still can't see. i've had the same pair of glasses for the past seven years though, so that's probably why. you're supposed to get them changed every year. my vision is so bad. i think i may be legally blind. i can't see a thing unless it's right up on me. i'm seriously considering getting lasik eye surgery. they let you do monthly payments of like $30, so that might be my next move.

anyways, i'm gonna go. i have a lot to do this weekend. peace out.

jenn jenn

i laughed so hard tonight. the hardest i've laughed in a very long time. and i can't even remember what i was laughing about.

that's all. i feel sick, i gotta go. peace.

jennifer

it's wednesday and i still have zero appetite. this has never happened to me before. i wonder what's wrong with me. i've been forcing myself to eat. and i've felt sick after i ate just a couple bites. maybe i have some kind of bug or something. but i haven't been sick anymore, just not hungry. it's really weird.

and NOTE TO SELF: don't give out my number anymore to weirdos. i gave this dude my number a) because i just wanted him to get out of my face and b) because i wasn't really thinking about it when he asked me and i just gave it to him. so this loser calls me like the same time twice a day, blows up my phone, and just won't take the hint. i need to stop being nice and indulging these losers in my conversation. giving them false hope. now i need to change my number because this dude is stalker material. thank god he doesn't know where i leave (hopefully). i create nothing but stalkers baby.

i need a boyfriend. i'm a relationship kind of gal (i think i said that before). i like having a boyfriend and someone tellling me that they love me and someone holding my hand and someone i can always talk to and someone who will always listen to me, my ride or die dude... i want it, but i'm in no rush to find it. i'm willing to shop around and do a lot of dating before i try to get serious with one guy. maybe i need to stay single for a little bit longer, but fuck it, i've been single for almost a year now. i need to be in a relationship. my next boyfriend is out there waiting for me to find him.

anyways, i'm done now. peace out bitches.

ahh...i'm bored, so i'll keep typing.

my list of top ten qualities i'm looking for in my next boo:

1. a good kisser
2. honesty
3. faithfulness
4. a smart guy
5. a guy who will put me first
6. big hands, cause i like interlacing big hands in my small ones.
7. someone who will pay...at least 80% of the time...geeze louise!
8. a guy that will say (and mean it) that they'd chose me if they could chose to be with any girl in the world.
9. nice, big warm body, no skinny dudes
10. respect

maybe not in that order, but you get the point. you know i realized that when i fall in love, i really fall in love. i've only been in love once (what the hell was i thinking with that one?) and it just really f-ed me up. i'm going to be so paranoid with my next boyfriend, but hopefully he'll make me comfortable enough with him where i won't have to question everything he does and says. i need to stop talking about this now. ok, i'm out. i need to close up these boxes. i'm moving in less than a week! finally. ok, holla.

jenn

i have been feeling like crap the past few days. today, i had to force myself just to eat one slim jim and two bites of a granola bar. and even after that, i felt stuffed, nauseous even. i felt like i had a whole chicken. i wasn't even hungry when i ate it either, i just needed something on my stomach so i could take some drugs. and i still feel like crap. i really need some insurance so i can go to the hospital when i feel sick like this.

i woke up at 3 this morning and couldn't stop puking. it was gross. maybe i really am pregnant.

peace out.

jenny

i've been feeling sick the past couple days...i don't know what's going on. maybe i'm pregnant (DUN-DUN-DUN!!!)

jenny

hey, wassup?

i had a good weekend. i spent nine hours with my dad and mattie on saturday riding almost every ride at carowinds and i literally stayed in bed all day sunday and only got up to walk the dudes and check my email. it was great.

i have a week and a half before the big move. it's kinda bittersweet. i'm only moving my stuff for now, but i'll be moving down maybe like a week before school starts in august. sooner if i get a call back from some of these jobs i applied for. i'm crossing my fingers.

and i was thinking...i have wasted so much money on rent. i might as well buy a house...a foreclosed house is cheaper. i can invest in a small house, and if i ever leave atlanta at one point, which i more than likely will, then i can always either sell it or rent it out. that actually sounds like a really good idea. so whenever i do decide to move out of vickey's, that's what i'm gonna do. hopefully i can get a nice house inside of atlanta. and after i graduate med school, i'll buy a very large house in buckhead, but hopefully live in new mexico.

but i'm bored now and i want to get back into bed. peace bitches.

jenny