i realized today that by the time my mother was my age, she had two kids already.

i had always hoped to be married with kids by the time i was 25 or 26. i wanted, no, i still want like 8 kids. as many as i can have. but here i am, a 22 year old virgin...probably a 23, 24, 25 year old virgin. it's becoming more and more clear to me how sad that is. i wish i had the courage to go through with it. i really do wish i could just do it, but i just have issues with it. ohh...one day.

i'm trying to get serious here. i need to get on the ball. if i'm 30 and still alone, i need to go ahead and kill myself i think. but they say, sex and marriage can still be good after 30 and you can still have kids well into your 50s and 60s. no rush for me i guess. if it happens, then it happens. if it doesn't...then i adopt and learn how to masturbate (and i have tried it once or twice, but it never works out for me--maybe my problem is worse than i thought, but it'll be fun trying...i'll get it eventually).

love, jenny

love, jenny