i was just thinking about the last thing lamar wrote to me...he said, "get over me already" and he called me a loser and said he already had sex with someone.

i wasn't mad at the time, but i'm kinda ticked off about it now. not the sex part. lamar is a slut. i only expected the worse from him. he could probably get sex from any dick-faced monkey, hell, i could get sex from any dick faced monkey. so that really wasn't anything to brag about. he was mad cause he forever missed out on all of this (i'm conceited, i know). he'll never get a taste of what i got. he'll just have to settle for whatever girl with low self esteem who will give it up to him. sad. even though he did that, i'm in no rush to get it on.

but enough about the sex part. i'm just mad that that son of a bitch told me to get over him...and called me a loser! i'm sorry to sound white right now, but AS-IF! that negro has me mixed up with something else. he must have forgot that HE'S always been the one to BEG ME to give him another chance the many times HE fucked up. not the other way around. i never once told him "i want you back, i'll do better. i want to be with you. i fucked up." no way.

and he called ME a loser. what about me says LOSER? he lost his mind that day. i think i just hurt his feelings with that nasty nasty nasty email i wrote. i was pissed off and wrote a HATEful email to him. and i did feel a little bad after i sent it, but when i got his reply, i was like, feel bad for what? he's done nothing but fuck up with me. i really need to stop thinking about all that shit. it just makes me madder and madder.

i can't wait to get the hell away from this city. and that bitch still owes me 200 bucks. i, again being stupid and in love, tried to help him out and with his car payment and he has yet to pay me back. but they say, when someone owe's you money, and they don't pay you back...when you ask for the money back and that person starts to ignore you, that money you gave them paid them off to never ask you for anything else again. so, basically, it cost me $200 to get that dude out of my life. that's pretty pricy, but i guess it's worth it. but i swear, one day, one way or another, i'm gonna get that money back.

anyways...i'm done. i'm getting myself worked up again. they say when two people go out for a long time, and they break up, that the break up is usually really ugly. me and lamar are arch nemesis now. he has replaced vickey's ex-boyfriend darius as my number one enemy and being on my hit list is not the place to be, let me tell you.

enough bitching, i'm gonna get some packing done. peace out.

jenny