Its nice when you can fall asleep in someones arms and feel completely safe. Ive really been feeling sappy and love sick the past few days, but ill get over it.

i really wish i had someone to stroke my hair and kiss me till i fall asleep. i'm so needy. this is why i always run back to my exes. "i get lonely...i get lonely, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh."

ok, bed for real now. night night.

-jenny

i would really hook up this nintendo and start playing super mario brothers right now if i wasn't so sleepy. i'm going to bed...alone. aww.

good night blogger.

jenny "what the fuck!!!" jenn jenn

one of my friends just asked this question on facebook and i just had to answer it.

chaconia: has a ? 4 all 484 of my FB friends..wht are sure signs tht a guy is TRULY into yu b/c he genuinely cares & wnts to be && not just settling b/c he cnt have wht he really wnts???

me: when he makes plans way in the future and you're included in those plans.

Ex) when he says something like: "WE gotta do the Taste of Atlanta again next year."

when they say stuff like that...referencing the fact that you'll still be together in a year...they're really feeling you.

and that is so true. torrey always did that. he always made comments like that. whenever he referenced the future, i was in it. i can't say that my ex did that. he didn't really reference me in his future. i mean, we had talked about maybe getting married one day, but other than those few times we discussed that, he never really mentioned me in his future. i guess that's a good sign to look for. i think that if a guy references you in his future, that's it. it's a wrap. he's sprung, he's fallen, he's head over heels. torrey is the only person to do that with me. i'm just sayin...

jenny "i love my best friend evan" jenn jenn

my teeth have been hurting again. i just took one of these pills they prescribed me, so i'm pretty sure i'm gonna be in for a really vivid, weird dream tonight.

i totally forgot about this dream i had the other night. it was the most real dream i've ever had in my life. it was like i was watching a movie on tv. i was in a thrift store shopping for clothes and then my friend lawrence comes in with another friend of his. they start talking to me and then his friend pulls out a video camera and starts taking pictures of me. then he starts taking pictures of other girls in the store and then all of a sudden, we're like at a rest stop (like off a highway) and lawrence's friend is using the zoom function on the camera to take pics of girls in cars that are passing by on the highway. well the friend takes a pic of one girl and i guess the girl was a passenger in a car driven by her boyfriend cause the car stops and slows down and then backs up after the friend takes the pic. we all get scared and try to hide behind something when we see the car back up. then it cuts to like an arial view from a helicopter and its all grainy like a surveillance video camera and we see two dudes get out of the car and run out of the shot and then run back into their car...but two police cars with their sirens blaring come up and out with their guns drawn and arrest the two guys.

apparently the two guys went and put something underneath a car that was parked at the rest stop. so they didn't know what it was, so they call in this specialist or something to go in and see what it was. so the guy is looking under the car and feels something. he pulls it out and it's this huge flaming piece of material. once he pulls it out and sees what it was, his eyes get huge. like popping out of his head as he's holding it. and as soon as his eyes get all big, the burning thing he pulled from under the car suddenly flames up and his whole body just catches fire quickly. it spreads from the material to his hands and then all over his body. then the guy just crumples over all slowly and dies. it was so real. seeing the look on his face when his eyes got all big when he saw the firey material and then watching him slowly crumple over after he was all in flames. it was soooo real.

and then they come over and interview me and all i keep talking about his how the guy died and the look on his face when he did.

so weird.

and the dream i said i wasn't gonna talk about a few days ago. well since i'm on a role, i might as well. so i had taken this pain medicine for my teeth and fell asleep and this is the dream i had then:

i dreamt that i was sitting on a bench somewhere talking to a friend when crystal (yeah, the one i can't stand) comes and sits next to me. now, i don't want to have anything to do with her, so i just pretend like i don't even see her. well after me and my friend stop talking, crystal starts talking to me and tells me how my ex and her were messing around behind my back but how she thought he was such a loser now and that she was sorry that we didn't like each other because of him. it was sooo odd. so we were sitting around talking shit about him and ended up friends in the end. now mind you, i had just taken some powerful narcotics, so i was extremely out of it when i went to sleep.

i took another of those pills a little while ago and i am soooo looking forward to what dreams i'll be having tonight. hopefully a sexy one ;)

jenny "i'm gonna give you the best blow jay ever...with my mouth" jenn jenn

what i wouldn't do for a kiss right about now. and not just a kiss, but a good one.

-jennifer

i've gotten no sleep, but i've found that's how i work best. i was so bored when i got all the sleep i wanted those two weeks i was out of class. now i get zero sleep and i feel so fulfilled.

so, yeah. this semester is gonna be interesting. last one as an undergrad, first one being completely single...maybe.

since i got my wisdom teeth taken out, i've been losing some weight. hey, i can't be mad at that.

ok.

i thought i had something to say, but i forgot it. so bye bye.

oh wait. yeah. my brother tj made a video that he put up on his myspace. and since he's my brother, i need to show him some love and post his video. he's the one with the white head scarf on throughout it. he looks a lot like my brother josh...or he used to. here it is:



jenny "you have such a smooth...chest" jenn jenn

Damn! He was coming at ya girl all hard! Ok! Woooow!

You know how when its cold and you're lying in bed with your honey and you wake up in the middle of the night and snuggle up next to your him/her? I loove that.

I'm at work and my mouth hurts so bad. My jaw is still so swollen and i can barely open my mouth. I'm like bubba, I wanna go home. I need some TLC.

it's gonna be fun/interesting to see who's gonna tie me down...who i'm gonna end up with. what lucky bastard gets to wake up every morning with me next to him.

a while back, i was wanting to get an apartment with torrey, but he wasn't feeling it. guys don't like living with me, wassup with that? and when they do, they're bums about it and just freeload.

i want to get an apartment soon, but it's hard out there for a pimp. i don't know. i wouldn't live with a guy again anyway unless i'm gonna get married to him. my one and only experience with it was definitely an eye opener and i won't be doing that again.

i'm glad torrey decided not to actually. karma right?

i don't like having to worry about other people paying my bills anyway. i like to make sure my stuff gets paid on time and stays on, ya dig?

why am i still up? bye bye.

jenny jenn jenn

i got this dude's dance on lock by the way. it's so funny.

nuh uh. don't think ya girl forgot about her boo. here's another video of my boo, but this time, he actually took it to the underground. lookie:



jenny "you're gonna sing! and you're gonna sing good!" jenn jenn

so i was gonna talk about this dream i had yesterday. i changed my mind though. i'm gonna keep that one to myself.

on another note...i took quite a few pics of me and my new chipmunk face. i cannot wait for this swelling to go down. now i know what my face would look like if i was a fat chick. i'm contemplating posting them up.

i have some pics from the day of surgery where there's blood all over my lips and teeth. lol, they are so gross. i probably won't post those. but i gotta post at least one pic of how swollen my face is. it's terrible.

and my face still hurts. i can barely open my mouth halfway without having a stinging pain shoot through my whole face. it's bad. and i'm supposed to be starting school on monday and starting my grady volunteer thing, oh god. i hope my face starts acting right, ya dig?

so now that i had this surgery, i'm looking to get braces early next year to straighten out that tooth that i decided not to get removed. that's not gonna be fun. 25 and with braces.

i've been daydreaming about kissing someone. i'm not gonna say who it is, but i never thought i'd be imagining kissing this person.

riche finally has a new boyfriend. this guy she's been 'talking' to for a while now. she's been single for over a year and a half. i have never ever ever been single that long. i don't stay single for more than a few weeks at a time. but i'm single now and hopefully i can stay single for a year and a half too, at least a year anyway. i hink that'll be good and healthy for me. i don't think i like the idea anymore (or at least right now) of being tied down to just one person. and i think that i think this way because i don't want to have sex. if you're with one person, it starts to get serious and eventually the guy is gonna wanna smash. so if i date around, i don't have to focus on just one guy and i can see other people and so can he so if he wants to smash, he can call up some other chick.

have i said that i can't wait to go to new orleans? i need a vacation too.

i'm starting my last semester as an undergrad. come december, i'll have a bachelor's degree in biology. i can call myself a biologist now. that's so exciting. so many people i know that graduated are becoming elementary school teachers. hmm. that'll be my last option. but it sounds fun. i love kids.

i say i want to be single for a long time, but then i feel like i'm ready to settle down too. i want to go ahead and get married and have kids and buy a house and have a cool job and a nice car. i'm ready to have all that. i'm going on 25, come on! i don't know, i think that'll be a good look for me.

oh, i passed calculus...barely. i got a C+. i have never ever ever been more happy to get a C in my entire life. that's awesome. i am done with math forever. there's no math in grad school (for bio) or med school. so, yay!!!!

i still talk to my brother's ex girlfriend mylanda. i loved her so much. i was really hoping that they were gonna work out. but my brother was being a whore. why do guys fuck it up with good girls? they can be soo stupid. but you know what...later down the road when they're with chickenheads that ain't bout shit and you're doing big things...they'll come calling.

i am a huge believer in karma. my and my Persian twin had a long convo about karma and how we were both strong believers. my Persian twin is my exact match, but she's Persian. her name's Orozzo and she's da shiz. i met her in my micro lab last spring and we just sorta gravitated toward each other.

what goes around comes around. you get what you deserve. two big thumbs up to that.

btw, reading rainbow is the ish too.

i'm so bored right now. i need to go to bed so i can be rested when i go in to work.

the first thing people say or ask me when i tell them that i work at the bank is "put some money into my account". that is always the first thing people say. if i knew how to do that shit, why would i mess up my job trying to hook you up? boy stop! girl stop! i wouldn't do that even if i could. karma, remember?

i think i have to take out my nose ring and lip ring for volunteering at grady. i can tolerate taking out the nose ring, but taking out my lip ring is gonna be a problem. i've had this thing for six years, since 2003, but i'm pretty sure if i take it out again, it's gonna close up again. i took it out once for four hours and that shit would not let that ring go back through. i was so pissed. i had to get it repierced and it hurt like hell. and i had the piercing for like three years at the time. we'll see. we'll see how it goes.

i'm in desperate need of a new tattoo. and something really big. i want something really big on my right arm i think. i want my brother alan to design something for me. i'll get him to draw something for me when he comes down for my graduation and maybe i'll go ahead and get it in december. i might get something small while i'm in new orleans too. i want me and sam to get matching tattoos. i want us to get this:



we'll see what happens. i'll have to ask her if she's down. i wanna get mine on my ankle i think.

i really want some church's chicken right now. 3 piece spicy and a biscuit for $2.69 with a pepper pack. oh yeah! that sounds like a bet, but oh, wait, i can't. i have to eat jello and yogurt. my teeth still hurt. this is a good way to lose weight. i've been so hungry since thursday and all i can eat is noodles.

riche just got back from her "honeymoon" with her new boyfriend. i've always wanted to go out of town with a guy on a little vacation. me and torrey were gonna go on one, but then he started acting up, so, you know...it is what it is.

i started reading this sandra brown book today. i forgot what it's called. wait, no, this danielle steele book. i'm only on the first chapter. but this man and woman were married for 24 years and he finally tells her one night that for the past year, he's been cheating on her with a younger woman and that he was in love with the other woman and wanted to be with her. he didn't tell his wife this, but he had already asked to marry this other woman and they were going house hunting and everything already. he said that he didn't want her (his wife) anymore and that he didn't even want to try to work it out. he said the other woman made him happy and feel alive and he really really really wanted to be with her. i got so mad hearing this. his wife even begged him to leave his new chick and try to work things out. she was so in love with him, but he just dropped her and left. what a tool. i am not a fan of whores. i just remember getting so angry when i heard it and i actually felt what this woman was feeling. it was tough.

on a completely different note...i bought a bushel of cilantro a few days ago and i love it! i sometimes just eat the leaves for the hell of it. i've been putting them in my nog shim noodles.

ok, well i'm bout to go. i gotta make this money.

jenny "$7?! what are we in kindergarden?" jenn jenn

i took this medicine they gave me for my teeth for the first time yesterday and i woke up from a really weird, huge nightmare. it had to have been the narcotics they gave me.

i'll write about it later, i have to go to work now...and i still look like a chipmunk! my face is even more swollen than it was yesterday. damn!

jenny "so he was an African jew?" jenn jenn

my wisdom teeth are gone and i am in so much pain!

they gave me the nitrous oxide and i wasn't even laughing! it didn't work. i feel asleep quickly after the IV anesthesia. the whole thing took about 45 minutes. torrey took me. when i woke up after it was done, i was supposed to get into this wheelchair, but i couldn't, so torrey had to put me in it. they rolled me out to the car and torrey took me home. he was so sweet for doing that.

today, i felt like shit. i could really have used a boyfriend type thing today. somebody to hold my hand and stroke my hair and make me soup and let me lay my head in their lap all day to fall asleep in. ah-well.

this morning after the surgery, i was talking and my mouth was just full of blood and blood was dripping down my face and onto the coffee table. lol, it was so gross. it was terrible. but it's good now. it's still doing some spot bleeding and my jaws are so swollen. i look like a chipmunk. no, it's really not that bad.

ok, well i'm gonna go back to sleep. this medicine they gave me for the pain knocks me out. i don't know if i'll be going to work tomorrow night or what. ok, good night.

love,

jennifer a.

did i mention that i'm really feeling this whole twitter thing now? yeah, i've been twittering and twittering at people and responding to trending topics and doing it up.

so in case you don't know, it's

HERE!!!

jenny "so you guys on myspace, or..." jenn jenn

this is my 400th post!!!

on a sadder note...my brother got stabbed a couple nights ago. someone was trying to rob him at a walgreens near the base at jacksonville, nc. he was coming out of walgreens and got in his car when someone came and knocked on his car window asking for money. when he told the man he didn't have any money, the dude showed that he had a "gun" under his shirt and made my brother get out of the car. so josh got out and he said when he noticed that it wasn't a gun, he punched the dude a few times, and the dude stabbed him. he had a kitchen butcher knife the whole time. so he stabbed josh in the stomach and started to run. apparently josh got back in the car and tried to run the man down, but he didn't make it.

anyway, he spent the night in the hospital, but he's out now and he said he's fine. hopefully.

so tomorrow morning is the big day. i'm finally getting my teeth pulled. for real this time. four of them. yikes!

i had to call the paramedics on vickey on sunday night cause she drunk too much beer and something was going on with her breathing. she thought she was gonna have a heart attack. two days later, she was back to drinking again. she'll never learn...until it's too late.

i still have that same dime bag that i need to finish off. i didn't even smoke any of it yet. maybe labor day weekend if not this week.

i start at grady on monday. i'm gonna be doing it monday, wednesday, and friday mornings from 9 am to noon. i'm excited about it.

my tire went flat on my way to the mall yesterday. torrey came out and changed it for me. i know how to change a tire, but it's just hard for me to loosen up the bolts that hold the tire on, so i guess you can basically say that i can't change a tire (but it's purely for physical reasons only).

i did get that 97 hyundai sonata. it's pretty nice. it's really windowy. i'm gonna get the windows tinted in the next couple months. its way too windowy. but the car is pretty nice. it's dark blue. it even has rims! not hub caps, but some nice pacer rims. i want to get it eventually repainted to. i don't know what i want it to be yet, but i want something really...colorful.

i'm gonna donate the pontiac. i can write it off as a tax write off if i donate it. nobody is really gonna pay anything for it since the transmission is on its way out. i'm really gonna miss it too. it was my very first car. i bought it with my own money when i was 19, so i've had it for the past five years. it really feels like a sister to me.

but besides that, i start my volunteer thing on monday and we start classes on monday. i have classes, once again, from monday to friday and sam only has classes on tuesday and thursday. i told her she'll only be able to do that for her first year or two, but after that, it'll pretty much be monday through friday.

i graduate on december 14. it's a monday night, which is so waaaaaaack! but i gotta send mattie all the info so she can make my invitations. but i gotta go get my cap and gown so i can take pictures to put in my invitations. i think i'm gonna go ahead and take the GRE in the next few weeks and go for my masters starting this coming spring at Georgia State and then go to med school after I get that. I figure I'll be done with the masters thing in just one year. i'll be done in time to start med school (if that's what i decide to do) in the fall of 2011. if i don't do med school, having a master's will be good if i decide to apply to work at the CDC. those are my two big options of what i wanna do.

ok, how bout this shady, grimy, ugly ass nigga (vickey's ex darias aka my #1 enemy) came and knocked on my door asking to buy my car for $100. WHAT THE FUCK!!! i told him he done lost his mind. you know how much money i put into that car? i can get more than that from it just by taking it to a junk yard. you want me to basically give you my car and you know i can't stand yo ugly ass? get the fuck outta here! i told him "uh...no! i'm gonna donate the car so i can get some kind of money off of it." and he was pissed, but i don't give a fuck! who the fuck is he? he can kick rocks, that ain't got shit to do with me. that just really ticked me off that he thought i was gonna let him have my car like that. i asked vickey while he was standing right there "why did you let him come to my door and embarass himself like that?" that was so mean, lol, but oh well!

anyway...our new orleans trip is till on for halloween weekend. sam is so excited about it. we gotta go shopping for it soon. it's gonna be fun.

ok, well i gotta go take this medicine for my surgery tomorrow. but i'm gonna leave you all with this very funny video i found on you tube. it's called:

"Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips on How to Make Your Kids Less Attractive."


jenny "what? he's a guy! that's what guys look like." jenn jenn

i am so excited cause i tweeted something today to gavin degraw about how he's really pimping out his international t-shirt day thing waaay too hard...and he actually responded to me!!!

he asked if it was too much, and i told him it was all good and that i would represent for him at georgia state.

that's my boo right there, for life, i don't give a fuck what anybody says.

so i'm starting to love this twitter thang. it's pretty straight.

gavin tweeted a few days ago that he drinks more coffee than water and i was just like, that's me right there. i definitely need to drink my coffe to water drinking ratio.

but i'm so excited to see what his response to my latest tweet is. he's so awesome. ok, yes! i'm obsessed! so what? that just really made my day. i was having a really shitty, depressing day until i read that, so i'm good son.

on a side note, i've noticed that i am becoming so hood. like, i've been getting in touch with my black side and it's not so bad. i can't let it take over though...i don't want to be THAT kind of girl.

ok, i'm gonna go eat some chips and dip now. bye bye.

jenny "when am i ever gonna need to make tiramisu?" jenn jenn