they blocked my blogger at work so i'll be out of business for a while. maybe a couple of weeks until i get my computer and internet set up. gonna miss it. ok, until then.

holla!

jenn

well, last night...same thing. but this time, it was my fault. people finally wanted to talk, but i was so tired. i actually got off of work a little after 5! i could not believe that! i went home, had some pie and ice cream, worked out. it was great. so much free time. a little too much. i'm thinking i'm going home early today too and tomorrow, hopefully. even though i do nothing, it's still nice.

i'm thinking of going to florida to see my mom and the rest of my family for my one week vacation. i wanna go when it's warm though, so i'll have to wait a while, but i think that's a pretty good plan. i only talk to my mom and see her like once every four or five years and i'm not even exagerrating. i have seen her in a few years, so i think the time is coming up. i don't even know if the lady is dead or alive though. gotta write to her since she has never in her life had a phone. come on now!

really wish i could come home to somebody so i could get some lovin. in time i guess. just gotta be patient.

holla!

jenn

i felt so bored and so lonely last night. everybody i called was too busy to talk to me. even my brother cj! and he always talks to me when i'm bored. oh well. so i'm sitting at home all bored, then go pick my brother up at like 8 and then get back home from wal-mart and subway and watch this russian documentary and i try to get up after that and i just feel so drained. this is like around midnight. i just feel so week, i can barely stand up and my legs feel all shaky. and on top of that, i had a headache all day and i couldn't sleep. so i get up and bake this pie. i was all excited about baking it too and i was gonna have a piece when it was done, but i finally got sleepy around 2, had to take the pie out early and went and laid down and fell asleep. then the phone rang...thinking somebody finally wanted to talk to me...anybody, i was so disappointed when they asked for josh.

yep, that's pretty much how the rest of the week is gonna go i'm sure, but hopefully that'll be changing really soon.

holla, jenn!

last weekend was pretty fun. me and sam dressed up in these 30's costumes and had these huge tommy guns and jack daniels bottles and stacks of money and robbed this one bar at carowinds. no, we just posed for some old-time pictures and they came out really good. we spend the whole day out there and it was my first time, but i had a lot of fun. then later that day, we got dressed up, drove down to eastland mall and took some pictures as blue kiss. those turned out really well. i'm gonna try to get them scanned soon and put them up on here. but anyway, the weekend was all right. could have been better, but it was ok.

so my boss shari asks me to...for the next couple months or so...work double shifts. a couple of our senior typists are leaving and until they can hire a few more people and get them trained, she asked if i could stay and do the two girls that are leaving shifts. i basically do it every day anyways, so i told her sure. so that's it for me for the next couple months. sleep, work, sleep, work. big difference from what i'm doing now right? right.

oh, i've been talking to this new guy. i was getting change at the store because i had to pay someone for something and i have this really short skirt on cause i call myself trying to look cute for carowinds in case i wanted to holla at somebody and this cute guy comes up and starts talking to me. so his name is clint and he's 26 and we exchange numbers. so i talked to him a couple times, but i don't know about him yet. i'm not seeing anything special yet, but i guess time will tell. time will have to tell soon though or else i'm gonna have to cut him.

oh, so darnell is single now. uh oh, we're both single. no, it's kinda weird that they would break up over some stupid stuff that i made up. i'm really sorry darnell, but y'all will work it out. i know it. it's nothing serious like the shit i've had to go through. anyway, i won't touch on that today. i have to just leave that in the past and move on.

ok, so i'm gonna holla. get ready for this long ass day. peace!

jenn

i think i'm gooing into my depression-mode again. ohhh it sucks so bad.

jenn

ok, first of all, to set the record straight, me and darnell did nothing. we only hung out one time since we graduated like two years ago and that's it. i did not see the "black thunder" ok. it was all a joke, so people need to calm down. i thought it was extremely funny, but to others, i guess not. come on, if i didn't have sex with my own boyfriend of 3+ years, i'm not gonna have sex with a person i've only seen once in 3+ years.

anyway, i waited 30 minutes for gas yesterday.. there's been this gas scare and everyone has been rushing to the gas stations thinking the gas is gonna go up again (it's now at 3.19 in charlotte, come on now!) and that it's gonna run out. same again this morning. gas stations were packed. it was crazy.

ok, hopefully it'll all get better.

holla!

jenn

i'm learning how to play texas hold'em-poker-and this is what i figured would win. anytime there's a chance to bet, always bet the maximum you can bet. if there is no maximum, always bet the exact same amount every time. a nice high number too. do this when you have a good hand and when you have a bad hand. no matter what, always bet the exact same amount. most likely, the others players will fold. even if they don't fold, i still end up winning. by chance? who knows. by skill? i think so. i'm still confused about a couple of things in the game, but i'm getting there. soon, i'll be an ace. but i'm still not sure when to check or when to call or how one hand will be another hand. i don't really get the rank of the different hands, but i'm playing a computer and as long as somebody knows and i get my money when i win, then it's all good.

jenny

i am so excited, in the like six years that i've lived in charlotte, i am finally going to carowinds this saturday. it's gonna be a small group of us too, so that's even better. me, sam, josh, and his girlfriend mylanta, milk of magnesia, kaopectate (her name is mylanda, but i always call her something else-like nice soft chocolatey laxative). but she's a big girl. a really big girl, but hey, if that's what you're in to.

i've been doing these crunches and been on this 1,000 calories or less a day diet. i just wanted to tighten my stomach up and it is really working. i can't wait for darnell to come back to charlotte. we're gonna be up at the gym all the time and he's gonna be my work out buddy. that's gonna be my motivation to go cause i won't keep going by myself.

oh yeah, i gotta limit what i say about darnell. his "girlfriend" might be reading. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! darnell, i gotta let the secret out...your girlfriend has to know about that one time you came over and we were supposedly gonna be "watching tv". that was some sweet lovin'. and those other times when we were supposed to be just "hanging out". the best i ever had. and if she has anything to say about it, just pop her in the lip for me ok?

anyway, working now, holla!

jenn

i just read this thing about teens who wait till 18-after high school or higher to have sex. they did this research on 18-38 year olds and came up with this:

• 
  They completed an average of one year more of higher education.
  
  
• Their incomes were 20 percent higher.
  
  
• They had about half the risk of divorce.
  

so, i'm still sure i made the right decision-am making the right decision-who cares what darnell and lamar says.

and darnell, you're supposed to be my buddy, my friend, you need to stop feeding me that bullshit about me being selfish...we're supposed to be on the same team! i wiped your lip! doesn't that mean anything?

anyway, holla!

jenn

this just isn't my week.

jenny

weekend was pretty decent for the first time in a long time. i had won tickets to go to this sister hazel concert, this like alternative rock band from the early 90s...anyways, i was gonna go, but there was some confustion with my tickets and where they were so i was just like, "it's not that serious, that's okay" and that was it. but whatever. next weekend, labor day weekend, 3 days, should be much better. sam's gonna hang out with my all weekend. darnell might spend one day over. i don't know, we'll see how it goes. either way, it should be much more fun than this past weekend.

all righty then, gonna get started on work. work has been so slow lately. the past week, i've been getting off at 4:30 and 5:30, that has been sick. i can't believe it. it feels so weird to get home that early. looking for the same kind of schedule this week. i can finally catch up on conan. i hadn't watched that in weeks.

ok, holla!

jennifer

i keep doing this thing where i'm typing and pull my hair across my lip and start typing with a mustache. it is so funny. this job is so friggin boring that i have to amuse myself.

i didn't wear a bra to work today...is that wrong?

Title: Shake It Off [chorus]
I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake you off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Boy I gotta shake you off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby and that means I gotta
Shake you off
By the time you get this message
It's gonna be too late
So don't bother paging me
Cause I'll be on my way
See I grabbed all my diamonds and clothes
Just ask your mama she knows
You're gonna miss me, baby
Hate to say I told you so
Well at first I didn't know
But now it's clear to me
You would cheat with all your freaks
And lie compulsively
So I packed up my Louis Vuitton
Jumped in your ride and took off
You'll never ever find a girl
Who loves you more than me
[chorus]
I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake you off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciates all the love I give
Boy, I gotta shake you off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby, and that means I gotta
Shake you off
[bridge]
I gotta shake, shake, shake, shake, shake it off [repeat]
I found out about a gang
Of your dirty little deeds
With this one and that one
By the pool, on the beach, in the streets
Heard y'all was
Hold up, my phone's breakin' up
I'ma hang up and call the machine right back
I gotta get this off of my mind
You wasn't worth my time
So, I'm leaving you behind
Cause I need a real love in my life
Save this recording because
I'm never coming back home
Baby, I'm gone
Don't cha know
[chorus]
I gotta shake you off
Cause the loving ain't the same
And you keep on playing games
Like you know I'm here to stay
I gotta shake you off
Just like the Calgon commercial
I really gotta get up outta here
And go somewhere
I gotta shake you off
Gotta make that move
Find somebody who
Appreciated all the love I give
Boy, I gotta shake you off
Gotta do what's best for me
Baby, and that means I gotta
Shake you off



it's so perfect.

jenn

i was listening to mariah carey's song "shake it off" and it is so true. i laughed through the whole song.

darnell thinks that just because i kicked his ass in debate that he has to try to beat me in everything we talk about. we don't have conversations, we have arguments. i think i'm always right, and he thinks he's always right. we're so much alike.

anyway, holla!
jenn

i don't know what's going on, i've been feeling really naseous over the past few days. worrying. that's what it is. stress. stressing myself out and making myself sick. but after i get my money back, i'll be fine. through. over it.

but i was reading my car insurance papers and darnell's right. i hope they don't fine me and make me turn in my tags. i'm gonna go saturday morning and get some more insurance. that would be really fucked up though if i have to go through all that. and for what? some stupid jackass stealing from me? that is so fucked up! that's why i've been so fucking sick. making myself sick over this shit. i just don't get it. it will forever boggle my mind.

anyways, let me get to work so i can get the hell up out of here. i am so sick of this fucking place.

jenny

SO, THIS IS WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THIS WEEKEND. UNCUT.
LAMAR'S ACCOUNT WAS SUPPOSEDLY GONNA GET OVERDRAWN AND HE NEEDED $12. OK, I CAN DO THAT. $12 ISN'T A LOT OF MONEY AND I CAN AFFORD THAT RIGHT NOW. SO HE KNOWS MY ACCOUNT INFORMATION AND I TELL HIM TO GO AHEAD AND TAKE $12. THIS ASSHOLE TAKES IT UPON HIMSELF TO JUST GO AHEAD AND TAKE OUT $40. OK. SO THIS IS ON Friday. SO WE TALK THAT WEEKEND, HE SAYS NOTHING ABOUT TAKING THE EXTRA MONEY. I DIDN'T CHECK THAT WEEKEND BECAUSE I THIS IS MY BEST FRIEND, MY BOYFRIEND, MY LAMARFER. YEAH RIGHT. SO ON Monday, HE DOES IT AGAIN...HE TAKES $40 AND THEN GOES BACK AND TAKES ANOTHER $2. THE TOTAL IS NOW $82...$70 MORE THAN WHAT I SAID HE COULD TAKE. HE WENT BACK BECAUSE HE FIGURED I DIDN'T NOTICE THE FIRST TIME. OH, SHE WONT' NOTICE THAT I TOOK $70 EXTRA OUT OF HER ACCOUNT. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!
SO ON Monday, I TRY TO PAY A FEW BILLS. ONE OF WHICH WAS MY CAR INSURANCE. I HAVE TO PAY IT BY MIDNIGHT ON THE 22ND OR IT'S CANCELLED. I ALWAYS PAY IT THE DAY BEFORE, ALWAYS PUT IT OFF. SO I'M LIKE, WAIT, LET ME CHECK MY BALANCE FIRST. I'M NEGATIVE ON MY ACCOUNT. WHAT! IT SHOULDN'T BE NEGATIVE, I SHOULD HAVE JUST ENOUGH FOR MY CAR INSURANCE. BUT NOPE, I'M NEGATIVE. NOT ONLY AM I NEGATIVE, BUT I'M ABOUT TO GET THREE OVERDRAW FEES.
SO NOW MY CAR INSURANCE HAS BEEN CANCELLED BECAUSE I COULDN'T PAY IT ON TIME. I DIND'T GET THE OVERDRAFTS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, BUT OVERNIGHT SOMEHOW IT CAME BACK ON the PLUS SIDE.
SO ANYWAYS, I CALL LAMAR ON Monday AND ASK HIM ABOUT IT. I ASKED IF HE KNEW THAT HE HAD TAKEN OUT $42 AND HE SAID 'YEAH'. OK, WHY DID YOU DO IT? I TOLD HIM TO PUT IT BACK IN THERE. NO HE SAID 'WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT'. I WAS SO HOT WHEN HE SAID THAT. HE COULDN'T PUT IT BACK IN BECAUSE HE WASN'T HOME YET SO I TELL HIM TO CALL ME WHEN HE GETS HOME AND PUT IT BACK IN. HE NEVER DOES. I KEEP CALLING AND CALLING AND LEAVING MESSAGES, BUT HE'S IGNORING ME. HE KNEW HE DID WRONG. IT WASN'T THE UNTIL THE NEXT DAY AT WORK UNTIL I REALIZED THAT HE HAD ACTUALLY TAKEN OUT $82 TOTAL. HE SAID NOTHING ABOUT IT BEING $82 WHEN I CALLED HIM Monday.
SO I CALLED BANK OF AMERICA TO FILE A FRAUD CLAIM AGAINST HIM FOR TAKING MY MONEY AND THEY SAID THEY COULND'T DO IT BECAUSE IT WAS DONE WITHIN MY ACCOUNT, MEANING ONLINE FROM MY ACCOUNT, AND THEY COULDN'T DO ANYTHING, BUT I CALL COULD THE POLICE AND FILE A REPORT AGAINST HIM. I REALLY DON'T WANT TO PUT HIM THROUGH ANY TROUBLE, (LIKE I SHOULD CARE RIGHT, LOOK AT THE TROUBLE I'M IN), BUT I'M GONNA GIVE HIM A FEW DAYS TO REFUND ME MONEY. AFTER THAT, I WANT ZERO CONTACT FROM HIM. I'M DONE WITH HIM FOR GOOD. THAT'S IT. THAT WAS IT FOR ME.
I SWEAR, I HATE HIM MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY. I REALLY DO. THIS WAS THE LAST STRAW FOR ME. I AM DONE WITH HIM. I DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS AND SOMEONE ELSE BESIDES LAMAR DESERVES ME RIGHT BACK. I'M NOT GONNA DEAL WITH IT ANYMORE. I'M 20 AND I WANT TO BE IN A SERIOUS, COMMITEED RELATIONSHIP WITH NO LYING, CHEATING, DECEIVING, MANIPULATING...FRAUD. NONE OF THAT. MONGAMOUS, NO-SEX, LOCAL. THAT'S WHAT I NEED AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA GET. I'M THROUGH.

holla.

jenn

so i'm gonna tell the whole story, that bastard lamar stole my money out of my account. i told him to take out $12, he took $82 cause i guess he thought he had the right to. i thought i was gonna get three overdrafts, but instead, my last credit card purchase didn't go through, which was my insurance for my car. so i didn't get overdrafts, but now i don't have any fucking car insurance. i can't believe this bullshit. my week started off so great and now i'm all fucked up. i get more and more and more upset when i think about it. fuck! i will never ever ever be so stupid again. this has really opened my eyes.

holla
jenn

i am so so so pissed off this morning, i didn't even want to come to work today, but since the events unfolded over the past couple days, i know what i have to do.

holla.

jennifer

i cannot believe that i'm feeling good this week, but then again, it is only monday. i really don't want to do a 60 hour week this week. that's gonna be crazy, but i do need the money i guess.

i have this thing about asking people for money. i don't do it. i hate it. i am so proud and independent that it just kills me to think that i might have to do it, so i just don't. the only person i ask, and that's once in forever, is my dad, and i really hate asking him. it's just not right. and i don't like people constantly asking me for money. it's like, come one. you work, i work, i don't ask you for money, you don't ask me for money, it's all good. you have bills, but so do i and i have to straighten out all my stuff before i can help anyone else. that's really getting annoying to and two people constantly do that to me. but i ain't naming no names.

anyway, leaving on a happier note...i saw coming to america again last night and i loved the part where eddie murphy is playing all those dudes in the barbershop. the whole movie is so funny. better than 'she-devil' though? i don't know about that.
coming up: "coming to america" vs. "she-devil".

holla.

jenn