With each new relationship, i seem to push the envelope (sexually). I push myself and my actions further and further. Someday, it'll (sex) happen but with who?

So theres two more tattoos i wanna get. I'll get them during Spring Break then post the pics. One is going on my finger and the other is going on my wrist :-)

I just don't think i'm meant to have sex. I'm almost 25 and i still haven't had sex. I don't WANT sex. I don't CRAVE sex. Maybe i just haven't found "The One".

Well, the lease has been signed, got my keys, got appointment for the cable/internet. Just need to move my stuff this weekend now. I'm so excited right now.

So i hit a snag with the apartment, but should be making the big move before this month is over. The cost of living in Atlanta is a bit higher than in Charlotte

All i can say is...God is really trying to look out for ya girl right about now and i LOVE it! I'm happy. I'm making moves. I'm doing the damn thang baby!

I'm moving into this 1 bedroom apartment alone in 2 weeks. Its about time. I'm gonna be 25 in 3 months, too old to be living with Vickey. Hallelujah! Can't wait

I havent blogged in over 2 weeks.Life is good.Im working on my masters.So far so good.Only 1 hard class so far but im gonna rock that bitch cause thats how i do

its 2010. this may be my year. i'm feeling pretty good about it.

So i graduated last monday (Dec. 14) and i finally got accepted into GSU's masters bio program. I'm good right now. I plan on posting some grad pics soon. Later

on a good note: i graduate in three days (monday!!!)

on a bad note: i got DFACSS called on me (social services)...long story. they want to meet with me and talk to me...coincidently this is supposed to happen on monday too (yeah, the same monday i'm graduating) but guess what bitch??? DFACSS ain't gonna be seeing me monday! i got more important shit going on. my family is gonna be here and i am gonna be looking forward to graduating so oh well for them, they're just S-O-L. i'm gonna have to catch up with them next time.

my mom or my brothers aren't coming anymore. that's another long story. i think only my brother josh is coming...if even that. and my cousin mane and her two kids and my dad and mattie. those are the only definites that are coming. ain't that sad?? and i invited soo many more people. whatevs. i have never asked my mother for anything in my almost 25 years on this earth, except to come to my graduation. i will never ask her for anything again.

but overall, i feel good.

ttyl
-jenn

I hate the sound of two people having sex in the next room. When i'm lying in bed with my boyfriend, its like 'Ha, listen to what you're not getting.' :(

yoooooooo!!!!! it's ya baby girl jenn! lol.

whaddup y'all. so there's been a lot going on. me and torrey decided to see other people and when i see me and torrey, i mean me. me and torrey were lacking something, so i wanted to try something new.

so having said that...i've been talking to this dude. the one i was talking about before. he's riche's boyfriend's best friend. so, i don't want to talk about a lot of details cause i know torrey still reads my blog and he just don't need to know all that.

so on our second date, we go to see 2012. he had already seen it, but he knew that i wanted to see it, so he decided to see it again. that was sweet. and he actually opens the door for me when i get in and get out. that's sweet too. this guy is weird cause he talks like a white dude, but he dresses and acts like a black dude. and not just a black dude, but a nigga...lol. at times anyway. he can be kinda thuggy. so we go see 2012 and then afterward, we were gonna go get something to eat. but we pass by this strip club and he says this is the one he and riche's boyfriend always go to and if i had ever been. i said no, but that i had always wanted to go. so we go!!!

all i can say is..."oh my sweet jesus". i could not believe what was happening. so we go in and immediately, i see ass, titties, thighs, hips. we went to a black strip club in decatur called pinups. this was actually the one me and torrey passed by a lot when he lived in clarkston and we had talked about going to on numerous occassions. so me and this dude go. his name is lance. so me and lance go in and theres ass and titties everywhere. i go to the bar, get a martini so i can get some singles for the girls, and we go and sit down near the stage. we just see all these thick black girls walking by naked. and he tells me that we can get lap dances that last for one song for $5. so during the night, we both get SEVERAL lap dances. oh my god! it was crazy. i loved it! the first girl that danced on me was kinda wack. she kept smiling at me and bending over and putting her ass all in my face. it was kinda freaky. when the first girl was dancing on me, i was the only chick in the club getting a lap dance and the dj was talking about us and making comments. i forgot what he said, but he was soooo funny. he was making funny comments all night. but i really liked the second girl cause she was interactive. she was dancing on me and touching me. she was grabbing my ass and touching my breasts and was stroking my hoo-hoo. it was so much fun though. they were definitely giving me more with my lap dances than with lance. you're not supposed to touch them, but they didn't really care. i smacked one girl's ass. lol, oh my god, i will never forget that. it was definitely an experience.

i will definitely be doing that again. i was all tipsy when i left and just smelling like cigarette smoke all over. there was this one indian dude in there that was getting a lap dance and this black dude was bent over in front of him and he was just feeling on her hips and thicks and staring at her ass. it was hilarious. there were so many creeps in there. one dude was getting this lap dance for well over an hour from the same girl. that was funny too.

so i don't like going to a club club, but i do enjoy the strip club. that's gonna be my new thing to do.

ok, that's enough of that. there's this dude in my applied micro class that's 35 and 6'6 that likes me. i'm 5'3, so whenever we walk next to each other...it's a sight to see. he can see every part of the top of my head. it's cute. i like tall dudes. we go to starbucks together sometimes and its always weird for me walking next to him cause he's so tall.

but i'm enjoying this dating around thing. i'm definitely looking for anything serious at all. i'm just having a good time doing what i do.

torrey thinks he's so slick. he went out with some girl twice and didn't tell me so i would feel guilty about going out. i didn't find out till a couple of days ago that he's been trying to talk to other girls when he made it seem like he wasn't. so i'm not gonna share stuff with him, and i'm not really gonna write about much here, but i'm gonna have fun. torrey started this blog saying he wasn't really heartbroken about us breaking up or stressing over it when i've seen the exact opposite of that. but whatever, i'm not gonna stress over him. i'm 24 and i'm gonna act like a 24 year old.

ok, well i'm done for now. i'll ttyl.

jenny

So i will be taking a break from blogging for a while as i go through some personal changes. Peace out.

This funk definitely has something to do with my failed attempt at...FML.

I'm sad. I'm depressed. I'm unhappy. I feel like crap. I'm hopeless. I deserve more. I want more. I'm in need. I'm missing something. Fuck--now i'm sleepy. Bye.

I feel so hopeless and depressed right now. I just feel like shit.

so i thought i was gonna do it. i was talking a lot of shit. i had psyched myself up to do it, but then when it came down to it...i was scared shitless. i lost my f-in nerve man! i can't believe it! i got in the car, i got there...all the steps were leading up to what i thought would happen, but i was just soooo scared. FML.

well like i always say, everything happens for a reason. there's this girl in my biochem class that i was just talking to about this on friday. we had this whole conversation about everything happening for a reason and it was an amazing conversation too. and just, pretty much all of my plans for this weekend had fallen through, but i can't be mad cause everything happens for a reason. there was a reason this happened or didn't happen. my time will come.

ok, having said that...i used to only attract black guys (usually dark skinned black guys at that...maybe that's where my fetish for dark skinned guys came from), but now, i get all kinds of dudes trying to holla. black, white, asian, hispanic. it's so weird. it's just like an all of a sudden thing too. everybody wants a piece and who am i to deny that to anybody. ok, so this is the order of guys now that try to holla:

1) black
2) asian
3) white
4) hispanic
5) other

so i think it's pretty interesting that asian dudes are #2 on that list. and i think it's even more interesting that hispanics came in under whites on the list. and even more interesting, waaaayy more light skinned dudes try to holla than dark skinned dudes now. it used to be the reverse of that, but not anymore. if i could change one thing about the list, it would be to have more dark skinned dudes holla, but i can't complain.

and a thing i do that i need to work on for the new year is this...ok, so i have manners and i know how to take a compliment. you know how when you're walking down the street and a dude says something like "hey beautiful, how you doin?". well when that happens, i naturally smile because, hello, i was just given a compliment. well with these dudes, they get encouraged when they see you smile and then pursue you harder. i have no interest in talking to one of those "everyday, extra-ordinary street niggas", ok! but i am a girl and i do get flattered when i'm complimented.

ok, now onto my halloween weekend. i took the weekend off from work. friday night, i actually went to Cinefest and saw "Drag Me to Hell" with Torrey. we were both on campus and i called him up and asked if he would come see it with me and so he did ;)
and so i went home and spent the next few hours cleaning. my brother josh and one of his friends was supposed to be coming up for sam's birthday, but that fell through. so me and sam went and got halloween costumes. she was a prisoner and i was amy winehouse..excuse me...amica winehouse. that was fun. on saturday, i spent the day with my friend sharon down in my old stomping grounds...riverdale/jonesboro. that was fun. we kinda just drove around all day and saw our old job (we worked together at value village in 03-04) and just reminisced all day. she took me to a friend of her's job. her friend was a lesbian and was talking about licking coochie and whatnot. it was weird, funny, it was a lot of things, but i had a good time. we went to this laundry mat in riverdale and the damn thing had an arcade, a big screen flat plasma tv, a pool table (only in riverdale). this short dark skinned dude tried to holla. i love my dark skinned dudes, but i don't love short ones. and so we went to ihop and we went to the dollar movies. i used to go to the dollar movies in fayetteville every weekend with sam. yesterday definitely brought back memories.

and so after that is when i dared to do what i thought i was gonna do. but as i already said...that didn't work out. i was supposed to go to riche's party and that didn't work out either. i still dressed up though. that was fun, and i was looking hot.

ok, well time to go clean and then study. ttyl bitches.

jenny jenn jenn

Am i really about to do what i think i'm about to do???? I think i am.