Love love love this song...

http://youtu.be/L_PS8wZNqrc

:) I never thought I'd actually have a sugar daddy. And I really never thought that sugar daddy would be my own boyfriend. It's kinda sexy :)

I've been getting all these spam comments on old posts on my blog. 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡 I'm getting too much unwanted attention. Gonna have to go private soon. 

ScienceShot: Heavy Stubble Makes Men More Attractive - ScienceNOW

ScienceShot: Heavy Stubble Makes Men More Attractive - ScienceNOW

See, this is what I love. A man with a nice hairy face. There's something so masculine and testosterone-y about a beard and mustache. It's so sexy. My boyfriend has this really nice beard. He's light skinned so he has blonde hair and brown hair mixed in, so it's really cute. He had a goatee I think when we met, but I talked him into the full on beard and he's been that way since. He does like to shave it off though when we get into an argument. He says it has nothing to do with me but I know it does.

Anyway. Here it is. Scientific (somewhat) proof that women prefer facial hair on a man. We find it more sexy. Confirmed.

See ya!

I don't know. I'm doing something wrong. I've spent all of my adult life (even since I was 16) in a relationship and what do I have to show for it?? Certainly no ring on this finger. I'm almost 30!! That's almost 40!! I've had a boyfriend of 5 years with no intentions of popping the question and now this one of almost 4 years who got scared to death when I asked him about marriage. I've come to think that it must be me. Cause there are SOO many girls YOUNGER than me getting married, having kids, starting families. It's not fair! It's what I wanted for so long! I never wanted to be a 30 year old bride or mom. I really think I got the short end of the stick in this life. It's not fair. I just truly want a ring from someone who really wants to give me one and who I really want to get it from. I want to go ahead and settle down and start my family and be happy. I'm tired of waiting. 

Done venting now. In other news...I'm sleepy. Bye. 

So I have new boos now. Ryan Gosling, Jesse Williams, and the Hodge Twins. They can all get it ;)

Random thought at 1:00 am...I still haven't made it to Monroeville, PA.

Sometimes I just feel like a complete waste of space. I don't even know why I'm here.

I'm such a happier person when I'm in Atlanta. I don't care for memphis, but I have to put up with it for two more years :(

I need to let go and let god.

>:( still pissed ):<

Two more years at school in Tennessee and then one year of externships then I'll be Dr. A. I'm attractive, I'm smart, I'm funny, and fine, I have this weird thing going on with my weight where I keep losing pounds but it could be worse, I could be gaining. I'm gonna get that in check though one day soon. Actually I think I already have. I think I've topped off at about 100 lbs. So that's good. I haven't really gotten any lower than that yet. But I say all this to say that it's all good that my boyfriend would rather be single than to marry me. Whatevs!! I will be just fine. I have a lot going for myself cause if he doesn't want me, I can find a thousand guys that will line up around the block for me, ok!

Can you tell this whole thing has been bothering me for a few days?? Well it has! At first, I was like, whatevs, that's how you feel, that's fine. Then I was hurt, but now I'm really pissed. After what we went through with him telling his ex he wanted to marry her, I'm pissed. I'm pissed that he lets me be around his family, but would rather be single than marry me. This is why I don't discuss marriage with boyfriends. I never ever asked a previous boyfriend about marriage...ever. This was the first, and last, time. I knew I always wanted it with Lamar, but we never talked about it in the five, six years we were together. We had way too many problems. But me and Lance have been together three years and things have been going pretty good so I asked and boy did that go wrong. Never again.

Ok, well I want to be done talking about this now. Just wanted to get it off of my chest. *sigh*

My eyes are becoming clear 😳

I oftentimes think I don't get all the happiness I deserve :(

So I ask my boyfriend of three years about marriage and all of a sudden he wants to be single again. Interesting because this is the same guy who told his ex, behind my back while we were together, that he wanted to marry her and have her kids. That's ok. That just means I'm not the one and that's fine. I said that earlier. It's just now hitting home. And as 30 is fast approaching, I don't know, I feel like I have to do something about it soon.

And now I'm sure :( Oh well.

My boyfriend's mom thinks I look like Megan Goode (hadn't heard that in a while) but he says I look more like Brandy. He's hatin'.

Chicks my age either have a ring or a baby. I've always wanted both, but guess their not in my cards right now. Haven't met 'The One' yet I guess.

goes.

me lose weight. I've already lost a fifth of my body weight in four months. We'll see how it