another song that's stuck in my head.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
i had an epiphany today...
the bulk of the guys that try to holla at me...since i moved back to atlanta...have been young guys. like between 17 and 20. either really young or really old, like over 50. i can't get a dude my age. today, a dude that said he was 18 (but looked 16) tried to holla. a dude that looked 18 tried to holla. and an old dude well over 50 tried to holla. and i didn't even do anything special today. just wore my hat, my georgia state sweatshirt.
nothing against torrey, but i'm getting tired of all these young dudes. i want an older mna. the next dude i go out with will be over 30. i sometimes have fantasies about being with a married man. i mean sexually. an older married man at that. that reminds me of the time i made out with my manager at value village. i was 19, he was 39. we had the same birthday. lol, wow. it was kind of slutty. i felt kinda bad about it at the time cause i was with someone, but looking back...i don't really mind. it was kinda weird, but still fun.
so yeah, these young dudes need to cut it out. this dude tried to get my number today. i said 'how old are you'? he looked like he was 16, but he said 'i'm 18, how old are you?'. i laughed and said, 'i'm 23 sweetie'. and he was like 'oh for real? so can i call you sometime?" like he didn't hear a word i just told him. i just laughed and told him, 'nah, i don't think so.'
i seriously need to know what to do about this. it's so annoying. i just bought all this mary kay makeup from riche. she sells the stuff now. i'm gonna get her to show me how to wear it and maybe that'll stop this madness.
ok, tata for now.
oh yeah, i don't think i mentioned this yet, but sam got into georgia state (no surprise!). she won't know until next month if she got into UGA yet. i'm sure she will. that's her first choice. she only applied to georgia state in case my dad didn't help her with tuition and room and board (like he did with me). so if she comes to atlanta, that'll be wild. me, sam, and torrey all in the same school. that's gonna be crazy. crazy fun. but she wants to go to uga for their pre-vet program. then after her undergrad, she wants to stay there for her vet school. so i hope she goes there cause i know that's where she really wants to go. but if she doesn't get the funds, i told her to just do a year or two at georgia state and get her pre-reqs out of the way. in the meantime, she needs to get a job, save up some money, and then transfer to uga. that way she'll be able to pay her own way (like i am).
but ok, i'm off to torrey's. i like to call him Salvatore now. he started his dreds. he's been talking about it forever. but now it's a done deal. it's funny, cause he's a microcephalic. i went to having a boyfriend with megacephaly to a boyfriend with microcephaly. j/k ;). it's a huge difference though, no pun intended. i'm gonna go before i say anything lamer than i've already said.
peace out snitches.
jenny "then i'll cut off your stupid face, throw it over mine, then buy the alcohol myself" jenn jenn
the bulk of the guys that try to holla at me...since i moved back to atlanta...have been young guys. like between 17 and 20. either really young or really old, like over 50. i can't get a dude my age. today, a dude that said he was 18 (but looked 16) tried to holla. a dude that looked 18 tried to holla. and an old dude well over 50 tried to holla. and i didn't even do anything special today. just wore my hat, my georgia state sweatshirt.
nothing against torrey, but i'm getting tired of all these young dudes. i want an older mna. the next dude i go out with will be over 30. i sometimes have fantasies about being with a married man. i mean sexually. an older married man at that. that reminds me of the time i made out with my manager at value village. i was 19, he was 39. we had the same birthday. lol, wow. it was kind of slutty. i felt kinda bad about it at the time cause i was with someone, but looking back...i don't really mind. it was kinda weird, but still fun.
so yeah, these young dudes need to cut it out. this dude tried to get my number today. i said 'how old are you'? he looked like he was 16, but he said 'i'm 18, how old are you?'. i laughed and said, 'i'm 23 sweetie'. and he was like 'oh for real? so can i call you sometime?" like he didn't hear a word i just told him. i just laughed and told him, 'nah, i don't think so.'
i seriously need to know what to do about this. it's so annoying. i just bought all this mary kay makeup from riche. she sells the stuff now. i'm gonna get her to show me how to wear it and maybe that'll stop this madness.
ok, tata for now.
oh yeah, i don't think i mentioned this yet, but sam got into georgia state (no surprise!). she won't know until next month if she got into UGA yet. i'm sure she will. that's her first choice. she only applied to georgia state in case my dad didn't help her with tuition and room and board (like he did with me). so if she comes to atlanta, that'll be wild. me, sam, and torrey all in the same school. that's gonna be crazy. crazy fun. but she wants to go to uga for their pre-vet program. then after her undergrad, she wants to stay there for her vet school. so i hope she goes there cause i know that's where she really wants to go. but if she doesn't get the funds, i told her to just do a year or two at georgia state and get her pre-reqs out of the way. in the meantime, she needs to get a job, save up some money, and then transfer to uga. that way she'll be able to pay her own way (like i am).
but ok, i'm off to torrey's. i like to call him Salvatore now. he started his dreds. he's been talking about it forever. but now it's a done deal. it's funny, cause he's a microcephalic. i went to having a boyfriend with megacephaly to a boyfriend with microcephaly. j/k ;). it's a huge difference though, no pun intended. i'm gonna go before i say anything lamer than i've already said.
peace out snitches.
jenny "then i'll cut off your stupid face, throw it over mine, then buy the alcohol myself" jenn jenn
Monday, March 16, 2009
i've been looking into gerontology doctoral programs. i'm thinking about skipping med school and just going for my phd in gerontology; be a gerontologist. that's what i've wanted for a long time. i think i might be too lazy for med school. and they do make a lot of money.
there's only a hand full of schools that offer doctorate programs in gerontology. one is in southern california, one is in massachusettes (boston) and one is in maryland (baltimore). i'm leaning more towards that last one. maryland sounds good. and it only requires 69 credit hours to get the phd. they want you to spread it out over four years though. i can easily do that in less than two. they want you to take only like 9 to 11 credit hours per semester, but they must not know 'bout me. i like to take 18-20 credit hours a semester. i'm a gangsta like that. if they let me take as many as i want, i'll have phd behind my name in less than three years from now...if i get in. sweet!
ok, i have english homework; peace out bitches!
jenny "i'll be the iron chef of pounding vaj" jenn jenn
there's only a hand full of schools that offer doctorate programs in gerontology. one is in southern california, one is in massachusettes (boston) and one is in maryland (baltimore). i'm leaning more towards that last one. maryland sounds good. and it only requires 69 credit hours to get the phd. they want you to spread it out over four years though. i can easily do that in less than two. they want you to take only like 9 to 11 credit hours per semester, but they must not know 'bout me. i like to take 18-20 credit hours a semester. i'm a gangsta like that. if they let me take as many as i want, i'll have phd behind my name in less than three years from now...if i get in. sweet!
ok, i have english homework; peace out bitches!
jenny "i'll be the iron chef of pounding vaj" jenn jenn
Friday, March 13, 2009
Monday, March 09, 2009
i'm back from my spring break. i didn't hang out with any dudes this time. i had fun. i got caught up on a lot of homework, but it was still relaxing. torrey specifically asked if i was gonna see mitch. it was funny when he asked me that cause he knows me. he didn't even ask if i was gonna see my ex. he's asking me about some other dude. but regardless, i didn't see any dude.
i hung out with sam most of the time. she got into georgia state. she's waiting to hear from uga in april. if she ends up not being able to pay for uga, her first choice, she's gonna go to georgia state then transfer after she saves up for uga. whatever she decides to do, i'm happy for her. she graduates in june, but i'm not even sure if i can go cause i'll be in summer school. i'm taking five classes this summer and five this fall and then i get to graduate! i'm a G, yes. if she goes to georgia state, vickey wants to get a bunk bed put in my room for us. i don't know. i cannot be a 24 year old living with my stepmom and sleeping in a bunk bed in the same room as my 18 year old sister. i realize it won't be for that long, but i don't know. i'm used to having my own place, my own space. i miss that.
when i was in charlotte, i went by my old apartment complex. someone was living in my old apartment. they had stuff all out on the balcony. i had some really really fond memories in charlotte. i went by my old job, which they shut down. it was weird seeing that. seeing all this old stuff, all my old hang out spots, i started thinking...how would my life be like if i had stayed in charlotte? i asked before lamar before i moved to atlanta if he thought i should go, and he told me, 'yeah.' he didn't even try to get me to stay. i could have just as very easily went to unc charlotte, but this douche bag could not care less if i went or stayed. i know had it been torrey and we were both living in charlotte, he would have fought for me to stay. instead, lamar was into having a sexual relationship with god knows who and wasn't putting OUR best interests to mind. but anyway, i won't go there. i know, i already did. but, i could have went to unc charlotte, gotten a job somewhere else, still been near sam and my dad. i know that had lamar fought for me to stay at least just a little bit, i would have stayed. i would never have come to atlanta, would never have met torrey, so i guess i'm grateful for it. i guess things really do work out for the best.
so as you can see, i did a lot of reminiscing when i was in charlotte. i'm glad i still had the sense not to call my ex, cause at a few points, i felt like i really wanted to, but i knew that it wasn't a good idea. i thought about him a lot though when i was in charlotte, but when i got home, it was like...'lamar who?'. it went like this...when i got there, i was really missing torrey. towards the middle of the week after i was hanging around charlotte, around where i used to always be, i started thinking of lamar and what we had. towards the end of the week when i realized i was going home, my attentions went back to torrey. but i'm glad to be back home with my boo. even though i went to all my old spots, they didn't feel like home to me anymore...atlanta did. i was so happy to be back in my room. it just feels like home to me. i've been gone from charlotte from almost two years now (it'll be two years in august) and it definitely has felt like two years. longer even. but i'm excited about the future and finishing up school. i'm excited about what's going to happen next.
i'm supposed to be taking my MCATS on august 6 and torrey is supposed to take his GRE on august 5. so we both have huge, life changing tests coming up in the next few months.
i'm gonna be 24 in about two months. i feel so different. i actually feel like a 24 year old. i was looking at some old high school pictures and i was just like...wow. it wasn't pretty. but i've grown. i was at rave in the mall the other day in charlotte and the cashier asked me and sam what grade we were in. sam was like, 'i'm a senior'. and i was like, 'yeah, i'm 24.' and she was so surprised. she was like, 'wow, well you look good then.' i cannot tell you how annoying that is right now, but when i actually get in my 30s, it's gonna be great. cause while all these girls now look their age, they're really gonna be looking their age in about ten years. i guess that whole, 'you're gonna look like your mother' thing is out the window for me. my mom looks older than her age, and i'm just the opposite.
anyway, enough about that. i'm talking about all kinds of stuff. i haven't blogged in about a month. i just had so many exams right before spring break. i had papers due and this and that. then i had spring break. now i'm home and back on my grind.
i'm gonna go study some orgo now, so i'll holla. i gotta head to work in a couple hours. they've given me more hours at work. i work on monday nights and tuesday nights too now from midnight to 3 am. that's an extra 6 hours a week. it's not a lot, but its enough. bank of america employees get awesome benefits and discounts too. i get a 23% discount on my spring bill every month which is tres' sweet. but anyway, i'm gonna go watch 'i love money 2' and study some orgo. peace out snitches.
jenny "fuck no man! i hate becca" jenn jenn
i hung out with sam most of the time. she got into georgia state. she's waiting to hear from uga in april. if she ends up not being able to pay for uga, her first choice, she's gonna go to georgia state then transfer after she saves up for uga. whatever she decides to do, i'm happy for her. she graduates in june, but i'm not even sure if i can go cause i'll be in summer school. i'm taking five classes this summer and five this fall and then i get to graduate! i'm a G, yes. if she goes to georgia state, vickey wants to get a bunk bed put in my room for us. i don't know. i cannot be a 24 year old living with my stepmom and sleeping in a bunk bed in the same room as my 18 year old sister. i realize it won't be for that long, but i don't know. i'm used to having my own place, my own space. i miss that.
when i was in charlotte, i went by my old apartment complex. someone was living in my old apartment. they had stuff all out on the balcony. i had some really really fond memories in charlotte. i went by my old job, which they shut down. it was weird seeing that. seeing all this old stuff, all my old hang out spots, i started thinking...how would my life be like if i had stayed in charlotte? i asked before lamar before i moved to atlanta if he thought i should go, and he told me, 'yeah.' he didn't even try to get me to stay. i could have just as very easily went to unc charlotte, but this douche bag could not care less if i went or stayed. i know had it been torrey and we were both living in charlotte, he would have fought for me to stay. instead, lamar was into having a sexual relationship with god knows who and wasn't putting OUR best interests to mind. but anyway, i won't go there. i know, i already did. but, i could have went to unc charlotte, gotten a job somewhere else, still been near sam and my dad. i know that had lamar fought for me to stay at least just a little bit, i would have stayed. i would never have come to atlanta, would never have met torrey, so i guess i'm grateful for it. i guess things really do work out for the best.
so as you can see, i did a lot of reminiscing when i was in charlotte. i'm glad i still had the sense not to call my ex, cause at a few points, i felt like i really wanted to, but i knew that it wasn't a good idea. i thought about him a lot though when i was in charlotte, but when i got home, it was like...'lamar who?'. it went like this...when i got there, i was really missing torrey. towards the middle of the week after i was hanging around charlotte, around where i used to always be, i started thinking of lamar and what we had. towards the end of the week when i realized i was going home, my attentions went back to torrey. but i'm glad to be back home with my boo. even though i went to all my old spots, they didn't feel like home to me anymore...atlanta did. i was so happy to be back in my room. it just feels like home to me. i've been gone from charlotte from almost two years now (it'll be two years in august) and it definitely has felt like two years. longer even. but i'm excited about the future and finishing up school. i'm excited about what's going to happen next.
i'm supposed to be taking my MCATS on august 6 and torrey is supposed to take his GRE on august 5. so we both have huge, life changing tests coming up in the next few months.
i'm gonna be 24 in about two months. i feel so different. i actually feel like a 24 year old. i was looking at some old high school pictures and i was just like...wow. it wasn't pretty. but i've grown. i was at rave in the mall the other day in charlotte and the cashier asked me and sam what grade we were in. sam was like, 'i'm a senior'. and i was like, 'yeah, i'm 24.' and she was so surprised. she was like, 'wow, well you look good then.' i cannot tell you how annoying that is right now, but when i actually get in my 30s, it's gonna be great. cause while all these girls now look their age, they're really gonna be looking their age in about ten years. i guess that whole, 'you're gonna look like your mother' thing is out the window for me. my mom looks older than her age, and i'm just the opposite.
anyway, enough about that. i'm talking about all kinds of stuff. i haven't blogged in about a month. i just had so many exams right before spring break. i had papers due and this and that. then i had spring break. now i'm home and back on my grind.
i'm gonna go study some orgo now, so i'll holla. i gotta head to work in a couple hours. they've given me more hours at work. i work on monday nights and tuesday nights too now from midnight to 3 am. that's an extra 6 hours a week. it's not a lot, but its enough. bank of america employees get awesome benefits and discounts too. i get a 23% discount on my spring bill every month which is tres' sweet. but anyway, i'm gonna go watch 'i love money 2' and study some orgo. peace out snitches.
jenny "fuck no man! i hate becca" jenn jenn
Sunday, February 08, 2009
The Commitment Dilemma
this just hit something in me. i could definitely relate when i heard it. don't give up something great for 'new pussy'. 'commitment' might give you a headache every once in a while, but 'new pussy' can't cook! 'new pussy' ain't gonna take care of you when you're sick! just be patient, and you'll get the 'old pussy', only it's not old at all, it's 'new pussy'. you gotta think about life in the long term.
you know, "pussy" is like the dirtiest word ever. i can't even say it out loud without giggling. it's so raunchy.
jenny "new pussy can't cook!" jenn jenn
this just hit something in me. i could definitely relate when i heard it. don't give up something great for 'new pussy'. 'commitment' might give you a headache every once in a while, but 'new pussy' can't cook! 'new pussy' ain't gonna take care of you when you're sick! just be patient, and you'll get the 'old pussy', only it's not old at all, it's 'new pussy'. you gotta think about life in the long term.
you know, "pussy" is like the dirtiest word ever. i can't even say it out loud without giggling. it's so raunchy.
jenny "new pussy can't cook!" jenn jenn
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
i've been feeling really depressed lately. i've been bombing tests and i have shitty TAs.
i'm in a really bad mood right now.
i went to lovecalculator.com and put in my and torrey's names (first and last) and guess what we got?
96%
"Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between jennifer anderson and torrey harris has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn't mean that you don't have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc. "
That's the highest match i've ever gotten. interesting. i showed it to him and he was like, "Of course. I mean come on, I'm me." i was like, 'bruh, get over yourself'. he's a mess.
ok, gotta go. i'll holla.
jenny "shit! that is pimp. why didn't i think of that? fuck!" jenn jenn
i'm in a really bad mood right now.
i went to lovecalculator.com and put in my and torrey's names (first and last) and guess what we got?
96%
"Dr. Love thinks that a relationship between jennifer anderson and torrey harris has a very good chance of being successful, but this doesn't mean that you don't have to work on the relationship. Remember that every relationship needs spending time together, talking with each other etc. "
That's the highest match i've ever gotten. interesting. i showed it to him and he was like, "Of course. I mean come on, I'm me." i was like, 'bruh, get over yourself'. he's a mess.
ok, gotta go. i'll holla.
jenny "shit! that is pimp. why didn't i think of that? fuck!" jenn jenn
Monday, February 02, 2009
yeah...i think i'm gonna go ahead and go to charlotte for spring break. i figure it's like this:
sam is graduating this year and that's really the only reason i go to charlotte. then after may or june, she'll be here, so this is my last chance to go to NC. i'm gonna see my mom after i graduate in december. hopefully i'll graduate, then go to florida for like a week to see my mom, then go to south korea for a while to visit with my brother. hell, med school (if i get in) doesn't start till august.
as a matter of fact, now that i think about it...i might not even get to go to sam's graduation cause i'll be in summer school and i have to work on the weekends. so this will probably be the last time for me to see some old friends. but with facebook and myspace, who cares?
i'm almost completely phased out of myspace. i'm all about facebook right now. facebook has been my main thing for a couple months now. i just know a lot more people on there. it's cool cause half of my friends are from charlotte and the other half from atlanta. i know everybody on my friends list...i don't just add random people. the same goes for myspace too, i'm just starting to like facebook better.
well, gotta go read for my world english class. you know, i thought i got done with all my pre requisites, but apparently not. thank god i found out i had to take one more english before december came around. if i didn't get to graduate just because of one class...
so, peace out.
jenny "i'm gettin' dat fa sho" jenn jenn
sam is graduating this year and that's really the only reason i go to charlotte. then after may or june, she'll be here, so this is my last chance to go to NC. i'm gonna see my mom after i graduate in december. hopefully i'll graduate, then go to florida for like a week to see my mom, then go to south korea for a while to visit with my brother. hell, med school (if i get in) doesn't start till august.
as a matter of fact, now that i think about it...i might not even get to go to sam's graduation cause i'll be in summer school and i have to work on the weekends. so this will probably be the last time for me to see some old friends. but with facebook and myspace, who cares?
i'm almost completely phased out of myspace. i'm all about facebook right now. facebook has been my main thing for a couple months now. i just know a lot more people on there. it's cool cause half of my friends are from charlotte and the other half from atlanta. i know everybody on my friends list...i don't just add random people. the same goes for myspace too, i'm just starting to like facebook better.
well, gotta go read for my world english class. you know, i thought i got done with all my pre requisites, but apparently not. thank god i found out i had to take one more english before december came around. if i didn't get to graduate just because of one class...
so, peace out.
jenny "i'm gettin' dat fa sho" jenn jenn
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
i was at the library getting an MCAT book to study and this man stopped me and asked was i in high school. i guess he thought i was skipping class, because it was early in the afternoon. i told him that i went to georgia state (duh! i had on my georgia state sweatshirt) and he was like, 'oh, you look like you're 16! i'm sorry.' so that is sooo annoying. i am still getting that. i first started getting that when i was like 14, 15. i'm almost 24 and i'm still getting it. well at least it's up from 12. i used to get 12 allll the time. now i'm getting numbers like 16 - 19. when i'm 30 and 40, i'm gonna look like i'm in my 20s. they say you can tell what a girl is gonna look like when she's old by looking at her mom. well that clearly is not the case with me. my mom is 53 and she looks a little older than that. that's not gonna be me. i'm gonna be 53 and look like i'm in my 30s (if even that). so i guess i shouldn't be complaining now.
i wore pigtails the other day and my girlfriend was like...'girl, you lookin like a little girl' when she saw me and torrey was like 'what, you trying to look young?' or something like that. so i took those out when i got home. i can't be having that.
torrey asked me the other day why i don't drink anymore and it's because the last time i drank, i got so messed up. i threw up, my stomach was banging. now when i even smell alcohol, i get sick. plus, i just don't have time. i work on the weekends and work on the weekdays, so there's no time for me to deal with any hangovers. when i drink, i like to drink to the point of intoxication, not just casual drinking. but i've been thinking about it, and i think i do want to get fucked up again. i think i may have to holla at that thought.
my drug of choice now is mary jane baby! the thing with me and marijuana is this...it makes me feel really good. it makes me feel really happy and free. i'm that person who, when they smoke marijuana, starts laughing at EVERYTHING! and when i say EVERYTHING, i mean EVERYTHING. i can't believe that i'm that person. usually, when i smoke, i smoke with 'xxxxx' and 'yyyyyyy' and sometimes 'zzzzzzz'. i'm not gonna say their names because who knows who could be reading this. but i'll be smoking with them and they'll start feeling it right away. 'xxxxx' just gets really loose and relaxed when she smokes. 'yyyyyyy' gets relaxed and cool too. 'zzzzzz' gets really paranoid when she smokes. i mean, she gets really paranoid. and me, i just start laughing my ass off. i laughed so hard one time, i seriously thought i might have died. i could not breath, but i could not stop laughing. and it was just deep, continuous laughter for like a really long time. one time, 'xxxxxx' said "and his lip was like this" and made this stupid face and i just lost it. i laughed harder than i ever laughed in my entire life and it wasn't even that funny. i mean, i always end up on my knees, on the floor, on my back laughing. it's so uncontrollable. torrey thinks its an act, but it really isn't. i really do be feeling that shit.
so i'm that girl. i'm that person. i guess it's cause i'm so silly anyways and always laughing and joking, it's really appropriate that i'd be that person. i haven't smoked in a weeks because i'm afraid they'll do a random drug test at my job, but i've been there for months and they haven't done one yet. they haven't even said that they do do those, so i think after my exams this week and after my exam next monday, ya girl is gonna get fucked up.
jenny "who's ready to get fuucked up?" jenn jenn
i wore pigtails the other day and my girlfriend was like...'girl, you lookin like a little girl' when she saw me and torrey was like 'what, you trying to look young?' or something like that. so i took those out when i got home. i can't be having that.
torrey asked me the other day why i don't drink anymore and it's because the last time i drank, i got so messed up. i threw up, my stomach was banging. now when i even smell alcohol, i get sick. plus, i just don't have time. i work on the weekends and work on the weekdays, so there's no time for me to deal with any hangovers. when i drink, i like to drink to the point of intoxication, not just casual drinking. but i've been thinking about it, and i think i do want to get fucked up again. i think i may have to holla at that thought.
my drug of choice now is mary jane baby! the thing with me and marijuana is this...it makes me feel really good. it makes me feel really happy and free. i'm that person who, when they smoke marijuana, starts laughing at EVERYTHING! and when i say EVERYTHING, i mean EVERYTHING. i can't believe that i'm that person. usually, when i smoke, i smoke with 'xxxxx' and 'yyyyyyy' and sometimes 'zzzzzzz'. i'm not gonna say their names because who knows who could be reading this. but i'll be smoking with them and they'll start feeling it right away. 'xxxxx' just gets really loose and relaxed when she smokes. 'yyyyyyy' gets relaxed and cool too. 'zzzzzz' gets really paranoid when she smokes. i mean, she gets really paranoid. and me, i just start laughing my ass off. i laughed so hard one time, i seriously thought i might have died. i could not breath, but i could not stop laughing. and it was just deep, continuous laughter for like a really long time. one time, 'xxxxxx' said "and his lip was like this" and made this stupid face and i just lost it. i laughed harder than i ever laughed in my entire life and it wasn't even that funny. i mean, i always end up on my knees, on the floor, on my back laughing. it's so uncontrollable. torrey thinks its an act, but it really isn't. i really do be feeling that shit.
so i'm that girl. i'm that person. i guess it's cause i'm so silly anyways and always laughing and joking, it's really appropriate that i'd be that person. i haven't smoked in a weeks because i'm afraid they'll do a random drug test at my job, but i've been there for months and they haven't done one yet. they haven't even said that they do do those, so i think after my exams this week and after my exam next monday, ya girl is gonna get fucked up.
jenny "who's ready to get fuucked up?" jenn jenn
sex is soooo overated. like, when you think about it...sex should just be a perk in a relationship. it should be something that just makes the relationship better. it shouldn't be the thing that makes or breaks the relationship. the relationship should already be banging before that. it should just be the icing on the cake.
and i got all that from watching The Tool Academy on VH1. its a show about girlfriends who brought their boyfriends to this tool academy because they were huge d-bags and the girlfriends wanted the boyfriends to change. but this one tool said that and it just clicked in me. that's exactly right. that's exactly what sex should be. but its just so casual and thrown around. i guess i'm just from the old school. i think you should be with a guy and be in love with them before you sleep with them. and i swear i'm the only one who thinks this way today. and it's not that i haven't been in love with guys, it just hasn't felt like the right time for me.
the only person i know that's my age and still a virgin is, incidentally enough, daniel. me and daniel went out in high school like two months before i went out with HIM. and for a guy to still be a virgin at 23, i really dig that. i'm gonna be 24 in three months. 24 and no "p" in the "va-gee" (that's from superbad).
i've seen superbad like 100 times now. i pretty much know all the words now. it is so funny.
but anyways...sex. i'm about to turn 24, i'm about to graduate from college, i'm a black girl. it's like, i've beaten all of the odds. i know girls who are 14, 15, 16 who already have kids. i said "kids" with an "s". it's just like...i'm about to be out of my prime. when my mom was 24, she already had two kids. i'm gonna be 30 in 6 years. oh my god! 6 years isn't far from now.
i want to have kids and a big house and a husband and a dog and a nice car (maybe two), and my family, and above everything else...i want to be really really happy. i'm not gonna be able to have half of that unless i start giving it up.
i'm seriously thinking i may need to go see someone about this. like a professional. i have some problems. i have some problems and i need some resolutions. i can't be this way. i'm never gonna keep a guy if i stay this way. a guy hears that you're a virgin and they want to be with you cause they think that they'll be the one that you're gonna give it up to, but when they realize that they aren't the one...they start messing around and they eventually just lose interest and want to go somewhere else.
but i'm ranting because i'm frustrated right now. i was fine all day and i didn't even start thinking about this until i sat down and started watching "seeing other people". i love the movie, but it just puts me in a bad mood. it makes me take a long hard look at myself. maybe i shouldn't watch it anymore. but it's so good.
but it's not like i don't want sex. i do want sex. it just makes me sooooo uncomfortable to think of actually doing it. i'll be making out with torrey sometimes and think to myself, 'i wish he'd just rip all my clothes off, bend me over, and just have me.' but when i think about it, i think 'i don't really want to do that.'
but on a positive note...i don't have to worry about STDs, pregnancy scares, all that crap.
i'm scared to death that i will never get over this.
for the longest time after me and HIM ended, i thought that i didn't want to have kids for a long time (i had started thinking how much i really wanted kids when i was with HIM). but recently, it's been sneaking up on me again. i'm almost 24, i'm at the childbearing age (i have been for a while), and now i can't wait (again) to have kids of my own. i used to want to have a son first, but now i really want to have a little girl.
on that note, i'm about to go...i'm getting more and more depressed.
the scene on "seeing other people" just came on where the alice and her fiance ed were arguing about seeing other people and sleeping with other people. she was talking about how he had slept with so many people and he was talking about how she was only sleeping with one. she said "you're the one who's having all the meaningless sex!" and he said "i know, it's meaningless! i can't stand it, it's so meaningless!" but he's in love with her. he's so in love with her. and then this book i had to read for my english class, So Long a Letter by Mariama Ba, this African dude is a really rich lawyer and he marries this girl that he's so in love with. his parents don't like her cause she's kinda poor and lower class than them, but he really loves her and wants to be with her, regardless. and then his mother finds out this other girl for him to marry (they're muslim, so they're allowed to have three wives) and he does. he says he only does because his mom is making him and she would be so sad if he refuses. so he marries this young girl and sleeps with her and everything. has all these kids by her. the first wife left him and he talks about how much he misses her and wants to be with her and only her and is only with the younger girl because his mom is making him, but he continues to sleep with this other girl and have all of these kids by her.
that's a dude for you.
ok, i'm really gonna go now. i have a genetics test and micro test to study for. peace out.
jenny "what, you want me to eat my desert by myself like i'm fucking steven glansburg" jenn jenn
and i got all that from watching The Tool Academy on VH1. its a show about girlfriends who brought their boyfriends to this tool academy because they were huge d-bags and the girlfriends wanted the boyfriends to change. but this one tool said that and it just clicked in me. that's exactly right. that's exactly what sex should be. but its just so casual and thrown around. i guess i'm just from the old school. i think you should be with a guy and be in love with them before you sleep with them. and i swear i'm the only one who thinks this way today. and it's not that i haven't been in love with guys, it just hasn't felt like the right time for me.
the only person i know that's my age and still a virgin is, incidentally enough, daniel. me and daniel went out in high school like two months before i went out with HIM. and for a guy to still be a virgin at 23, i really dig that. i'm gonna be 24 in three months. 24 and no "p" in the "va-gee" (that's from superbad).
i've seen superbad like 100 times now. i pretty much know all the words now. it is so funny.
but anyways...sex. i'm about to turn 24, i'm about to graduate from college, i'm a black girl. it's like, i've beaten all of the odds. i know girls who are 14, 15, 16 who already have kids. i said "kids" with an "s". it's just like...i'm about to be out of my prime. when my mom was 24, she already had two kids. i'm gonna be 30 in 6 years. oh my god! 6 years isn't far from now.
i want to have kids and a big house and a husband and a dog and a nice car (maybe two), and my family, and above everything else...i want to be really really happy. i'm not gonna be able to have half of that unless i start giving it up.
i'm seriously thinking i may need to go see someone about this. like a professional. i have some problems. i have some problems and i need some resolutions. i can't be this way. i'm never gonna keep a guy if i stay this way. a guy hears that you're a virgin and they want to be with you cause they think that they'll be the one that you're gonna give it up to, but when they realize that they aren't the one...they start messing around and they eventually just lose interest and want to go somewhere else.
but i'm ranting because i'm frustrated right now. i was fine all day and i didn't even start thinking about this until i sat down and started watching "seeing other people". i love the movie, but it just puts me in a bad mood. it makes me take a long hard look at myself. maybe i shouldn't watch it anymore. but it's so good.
but it's not like i don't want sex. i do want sex. it just makes me sooooo uncomfortable to think of actually doing it. i'll be making out with torrey sometimes and think to myself, 'i wish he'd just rip all my clothes off, bend me over, and just have me.' but when i think about it, i think 'i don't really want to do that.'
but on a positive note...i don't have to worry about STDs, pregnancy scares, all that crap.
i'm scared to death that i will never get over this.
for the longest time after me and HIM ended, i thought that i didn't want to have kids for a long time (i had started thinking how much i really wanted kids when i was with HIM). but recently, it's been sneaking up on me again. i'm almost 24, i'm at the childbearing age (i have been for a while), and now i can't wait (again) to have kids of my own. i used to want to have a son first, but now i really want to have a little girl.
on that note, i'm about to go...i'm getting more and more depressed.
the scene on "seeing other people" just came on where the alice and her fiance ed were arguing about seeing other people and sleeping with other people. she was talking about how he had slept with so many people and he was talking about how she was only sleeping with one. she said "you're the one who's having all the meaningless sex!" and he said "i know, it's meaningless! i can't stand it, it's so meaningless!" but he's in love with her. he's so in love with her. and then this book i had to read for my english class, So Long a Letter by Mariama Ba, this African dude is a really rich lawyer and he marries this girl that he's so in love with. his parents don't like her cause she's kinda poor and lower class than them, but he really loves her and wants to be with her, regardless. and then his mother finds out this other girl for him to marry (they're muslim, so they're allowed to have three wives) and he does. he says he only does because his mom is making him and she would be so sad if he refuses. so he marries this young girl and sleeps with her and everything. has all these kids by her. the first wife left him and he talks about how much he misses her and wants to be with her and only her and is only with the younger girl because his mom is making him, but he continues to sleep with this other girl and have all of these kids by her.
that's a dude for you.
ok, i'm really gonna go now. i have a genetics test and micro test to study for. peace out.
jenny "what, you want me to eat my desert by myself like i'm fucking steven glansburg" jenn jenn
Monday, January 12, 2009
my new years resolutions are not going how i wanted them to go. i don't think i'm following through with any of them.
i said i was gonna be doing the video posts but...nah. i had to think about that one. i don't know if i want video of myself on the web. that's not good. i even recorded a couple video blogs that i was gonna post, but i think it's no.
it's so cold outside. i never talk about the weather. i think we're gonna get some snow this year...hopefully. hopefully its on a day i have to go to work or class, which is everyday basically. that way i can stay in bed with my honey bunny all day. he's not really good at snuggling though. that's one thing i don't really like about him. i like to be snuggled. but anyway, i won't get into that.
oh, looks like i have about twelve classes left before i graduate and not ten after the spring, but that's still doable too. that's only six classes for summer then six for fall. very doable.
i need to do some homework. i'll holla bitches.
jenny
i said i was gonna be doing the video posts but...nah. i had to think about that one. i don't know if i want video of myself on the web. that's not good. i even recorded a couple video blogs that i was gonna post, but i think it's no.
it's so cold outside. i never talk about the weather. i think we're gonna get some snow this year...hopefully. hopefully its on a day i have to go to work or class, which is everyday basically. that way i can stay in bed with my honey bunny all day. he's not really good at snuggling though. that's one thing i don't really like about him. i like to be snuggled. but anyway, i won't get into that.
oh, looks like i have about twelve classes left before i graduate and not ten after the spring, but that's still doable too. that's only six classes for summer then six for fall. very doable.
i need to do some homework. i'll holla bitches.
jenny
Monday, January 05, 2009
i was just looking at my little course layout thing and i just realized that after this spring semester, i only have like ten more classes to go before i can graduate, which means this december. I can usually take about 8 classes at a time, so that means i may even have room to take some classes that I want to take just for fun.
woooow. at the end of the year, i'll be a college grad with a degree in biolog with a concentration in microbiolog and a minor in chemistry and i am gonna party my ass off. once i graduate, i am gonna go out to a club or something and just show out. i am so excited, i cannot wait.
woooow. at the end of the year, i'll be a college grad with a degree in biolog with a concentration in microbiolog and a minor in chemistry and i am gonna party my ass off. once i graduate, i am gonna go out to a club or something and just show out. i am so excited, i cannot wait.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
well, it's 2009. we all stayed home. it was me, sam, vickey, landon, and vickey's brother and his two sons and vickey's sister and her husband. we all pretty much sat in the living room and watched some comic view and then watched the ball drop. it was ok. i just hope next year is a lot more memorable.
so i'm being forced to say this (not really) but torrey says he will not stay with me if i cheat on him. (i still think he will).
moving right along. i've been told by a few guys that i seem hard. emotionless. i don't express my feelings as openly as most females do. i don't say 'oh i love you so much' or any of that. but that's just me. i don't know where it comes from or why i do it, but i'm gonna try to be more 'soft' about it. maybe it comes from having so many brothers and growing up with them. we're just not that way. i was a hardcore tomboy for the longest time until i got into high school. i think that's where it may come from. but i will work on it for the new year.
i will attempt my first video blog in a few short days, so i hope that goes well. we'll see how it turns out.
well all righty then. i'm bout to go cause you ain't even talkin about nothin. yeah yeah yeah, ok, love you to. bye.
jenni
so i'm being forced to say this (not really) but torrey says he will not stay with me if i cheat on him. (i still think he will).
moving right along. i've been told by a few guys that i seem hard. emotionless. i don't express my feelings as openly as most females do. i don't say 'oh i love you so much' or any of that. but that's just me. i don't know where it comes from or why i do it, but i'm gonna try to be more 'soft' about it. maybe it comes from having so many brothers and growing up with them. we're just not that way. i was a hardcore tomboy for the longest time until i got into high school. i think that's where it may come from. but i will work on it for the new year.
i will attempt my first video blog in a few short days, so i hope that goes well. we'll see how it turns out.
well all righty then. i'm bout to go cause you ain't even talkin about nothin. yeah yeah yeah, ok, love you to. bye.
jenni
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
its the last day of 2008. 2008 was my first full year back in atlanta.
in 2009, i plan on letting go of a lot of things:
i will no longer sweat the small stuff
i will no longer speak/think of past relationships
i will only look to the future
i will try to be more outgoing
i will make "genuine" friends
i'm gonna be a better person
out with the old and in with the new.
vickey and her brother and her sister and some of their friends are going out tonight and they want me to babysit. they want to go to the underground and then go out to a club after that. they invited me along, but the club scene is not my thing. then they wanted me to go just to be their designated driver. fuuuck that! see, if torrey was here, i could have an excuse to go someplace. maybe i'll go hang with riche. i think at midnight, i'll just be knocked out. it's going to be nothing special this year. i've never had a really awesome new year's. they have all been pretty lame. next year, i'm going all out cause i should be a college grad by then. i'll have something to actually celebrate.
i've been really unhappy these past couple of days. when i'm up, i'm really up and when i'm down, i'm really down. i'm feeling really depressed. i just can't wait for classes to start back up on monday so i'll have something to do and be out of this house. i'm trying to look for some place else to live. i've overstayed my welcome at vickeys.
i miss those days when i had my own place. sometimes i wish i could go back in time and do so many things differently. i've been thinking about this a lot lately. me and darnell were talking the other day and he was like, if i could go back that he thinks i wouldn't be a virgin right now. and i was like, i know you don't think i'd give it up to 'HIM'. i wouldn't have even bothered myself with 'HIM' if i could go back. and he said no, not to 'HIM'. he wouldn't say who though. but i think i'd still be this way, i would have just ended up with someone else. but it's a waste of time thinking about the past and the shoulda coulda wouldas cause there's nothing i can do about it.
torrey told me once that if i took too long to give it up to him, he was gonna have to let me go...but that nigga ain't goin nowhere. he's not. i think he'll wait longer than 'HE' did. i know he will. he'll wait as long as it takes. so i think if and when we ever break up, it'll be because of something that i do. i told him i was going to go to the West Meck Reunion and come back "busted wide open, then try to come right back" (like that song) and he was like, then that's it for me. but honestly, if i did have sex with someone else, i think he'd be mad at me for a really long time, but i don't think he'd want to leave me. he would try to work things out.
did i mention that his mom doesn't like me? that's so funny. how can you not like a virgin? if you wanted your son with anybody, it should be a virgin. and i'm a smart, pretty girl...i'm gonna be a doctor. but she doesn't like me. i don't know why. it's all good though. i think she's starting to warm up to me though. it's weird though cause moms generally like me.
geeze, i guess i've had a lot on my mind the past few months. but as of today, the last day of 2008, i'm going to try to keep it in 2008. less than 1 year from now, i hope to be done with Georgia State and making my way to medical school. or i could just stop and work at the CDC right outta Georgia State and still make really good money. but i don't want to think about that. it sounds really really tempting. but since i'm graduating a biology major with a concentration in microbiology and a minor in chemistry, i can go to work for the CDC as a Microbiologist. i already looked up the requirements and I meet the education requirements, just not the required experience. i'm gonna try to do some Microbiology volunteer work this year to cover that. but they pay from like $70,000 to over $124,000 a year. i could definitely work with that. and if i end up with torrey, being a physicist, he'll be making bank too. we could be swimming in dough. but i don't know, i've wanted to be a doctor for as long as i can remember. i'm gonna stick it out, stick with opthalmology. or gerontology/geriatrics. there's this optometrist, Dr. Anderson, that has an eye clinic at a Kroger up the street from where I live. I'm gonna go there Monday after class and see if i can't volunteer there for a couple times a week.
and i have to be taking my mcats soon. the end is so close i can taste it.
i just washed my hair the other night and my hair is growing! my fro is sooo huge now. it's about time.
ok, so it's 5 pm. i'm gonna go take a nap. ttyl.
jennifer
in 2009, i plan on letting go of a lot of things:
i will no longer sweat the small stuff
i will no longer speak/think of past relationships
i will only look to the future
i will try to be more outgoing
i will make "genuine" friends
i'm gonna be a better person
out with the old and in with the new.
vickey and her brother and her sister and some of their friends are going out tonight and they want me to babysit. they want to go to the underground and then go out to a club after that. they invited me along, but the club scene is not my thing. then they wanted me to go just to be their designated driver. fuuuck that! see, if torrey was here, i could have an excuse to go someplace. maybe i'll go hang with riche. i think at midnight, i'll just be knocked out. it's going to be nothing special this year. i've never had a really awesome new year's. they have all been pretty lame. next year, i'm going all out cause i should be a college grad by then. i'll have something to actually celebrate.
i've been really unhappy these past couple of days. when i'm up, i'm really up and when i'm down, i'm really down. i'm feeling really depressed. i just can't wait for classes to start back up on monday so i'll have something to do and be out of this house. i'm trying to look for some place else to live. i've overstayed my welcome at vickeys.
i miss those days when i had my own place. sometimes i wish i could go back in time and do so many things differently. i've been thinking about this a lot lately. me and darnell were talking the other day and he was like, if i could go back that he thinks i wouldn't be a virgin right now. and i was like, i know you don't think i'd give it up to 'HIM'. i wouldn't have even bothered myself with 'HIM' if i could go back. and he said no, not to 'HIM'. he wouldn't say who though. but i think i'd still be this way, i would have just ended up with someone else. but it's a waste of time thinking about the past and the shoulda coulda wouldas cause there's nothing i can do about it.
torrey told me once that if i took too long to give it up to him, he was gonna have to let me go...but that nigga ain't goin nowhere. he's not. i think he'll wait longer than 'HE' did. i know he will. he'll wait as long as it takes. so i think if and when we ever break up, it'll be because of something that i do. i told him i was going to go to the West Meck Reunion and come back "busted wide open, then try to come right back" (like that song) and he was like, then that's it for me. but honestly, if i did have sex with someone else, i think he'd be mad at me for a really long time, but i don't think he'd want to leave me. he would try to work things out.
did i mention that his mom doesn't like me? that's so funny. how can you not like a virgin? if you wanted your son with anybody, it should be a virgin. and i'm a smart, pretty girl...i'm gonna be a doctor. but she doesn't like me. i don't know why. it's all good though. i think she's starting to warm up to me though. it's weird though cause moms generally like me.
geeze, i guess i've had a lot on my mind the past few months. but as of today, the last day of 2008, i'm going to try to keep it in 2008. less than 1 year from now, i hope to be done with Georgia State and making my way to medical school. or i could just stop and work at the CDC right outta Georgia State and still make really good money. but i don't want to think about that. it sounds really really tempting. but since i'm graduating a biology major with a concentration in microbiology and a minor in chemistry, i can go to work for the CDC as a Microbiologist. i already looked up the requirements and I meet the education requirements, just not the required experience. i'm gonna try to do some Microbiology volunteer work this year to cover that. but they pay from like $70,000 to over $124,000 a year. i could definitely work with that. and if i end up with torrey, being a physicist, he'll be making bank too. we could be swimming in dough. but i don't know, i've wanted to be a doctor for as long as i can remember. i'm gonna stick it out, stick with opthalmology. or gerontology/geriatrics. there's this optometrist, Dr. Anderson, that has an eye clinic at a Kroger up the street from where I live. I'm gonna go there Monday after class and see if i can't volunteer there for a couple times a week.
and i have to be taking my mcats soon. the end is so close i can taste it.
i just washed my hair the other night and my hair is growing! my fro is sooo huge now. it's about time.
ok, so it's 5 pm. i'm gonna go take a nap. ttyl.
jennifer
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
it's been almost a whole year since i blogged last. that is so crazy. well it's going to be the new year soon and i resolve to blog at least once a week. i say this all the time, but it lets me release some steam so i'm gonna start it back on up.
i wanna try some video blogs too...a vlog. i'm gonna try to experiment with that. i wanna post pictures and just make this a new thing. i've been blogging since i was 17. i'm almost 24 now. it's so crazy how time just flies by. that's seven years. life is just so different now.
anyways, expect to hear from me soon.
xoxo
jenny
i wanna try some video blogs too...a vlog. i'm gonna try to experiment with that. i wanna post pictures and just make this a new thing. i've been blogging since i was 17. i'm almost 24 now. it's so crazy how time just flies by. that's seven years. life is just so different now.
anyways, expect to hear from me soon.
xoxo
jenny
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