so i was gonna talk about this dream i had yesterday. i changed my mind though. i'm gonna keep that one to myself.

on another note...i took quite a few pics of me and my new chipmunk face. i cannot wait for this swelling to go down. now i know what my face would look like if i was a fat chick. i'm contemplating posting them up.

i have some pics from the day of surgery where there's blood all over my lips and teeth. lol, they are so gross. i probably won't post those. but i gotta post at least one pic of how swollen my face is. it's terrible.

and my face still hurts. i can barely open my mouth halfway without having a stinging pain shoot through my whole face. it's bad. and i'm supposed to be starting school on monday and starting my grady volunteer thing, oh god. i hope my face starts acting right, ya dig?

so now that i had this surgery, i'm looking to get braces early next year to straighten out that tooth that i decided not to get removed. that's not gonna be fun. 25 and with braces.

i've been daydreaming about kissing someone. i'm not gonna say who it is, but i never thought i'd be imagining kissing this person.

riche finally has a new boyfriend. this guy she's been 'talking' to for a while now. she's been single for over a year and a half. i have never ever ever been single that long. i don't stay single for more than a few weeks at a time. but i'm single now and hopefully i can stay single for a year and a half too, at least a year anyway. i hink that'll be good and healthy for me. i don't think i like the idea anymore (or at least right now) of being tied down to just one person. and i think that i think this way because i don't want to have sex. if you're with one person, it starts to get serious and eventually the guy is gonna wanna smash. so if i date around, i don't have to focus on just one guy and i can see other people and so can he so if he wants to smash, he can call up some other chick.

have i said that i can't wait to go to new orleans? i need a vacation too.

i'm starting my last semester as an undergrad. come december, i'll have a bachelor's degree in biology. i can call myself a biologist now. that's so exciting. so many people i know that graduated are becoming elementary school teachers. hmm. that'll be my last option. but it sounds fun. i love kids.

i say i want to be single for a long time, but then i feel like i'm ready to settle down too. i want to go ahead and get married and have kids and buy a house and have a cool job and a nice car. i'm ready to have all that. i'm going on 25, come on! i don't know, i think that'll be a good look for me.

oh, i passed calculus...barely. i got a C+. i have never ever ever been more happy to get a C in my entire life. that's awesome. i am done with math forever. there's no math in grad school (for bio) or med school. so, yay!!!!

i still talk to my brother's ex girlfriend mylanda. i loved her so much. i was really hoping that they were gonna work out. but my brother was being a whore. why do guys fuck it up with good girls? they can be soo stupid. but you know what...later down the road when they're with chickenheads that ain't bout shit and you're doing big things...they'll come calling.

i am a huge believer in karma. my and my Persian twin had a long convo about karma and how we were both strong believers. my Persian twin is my exact match, but she's Persian. her name's Orozzo and she's da shiz. i met her in my micro lab last spring and we just sorta gravitated toward each other.

what goes around comes around. you get what you deserve. two big thumbs up to that.

btw, reading rainbow is the ish too.

i'm so bored right now. i need to go to bed so i can be rested when i go in to work.

the first thing people say or ask me when i tell them that i work at the bank is "put some money into my account". that is always the first thing people say. if i knew how to do that shit, why would i mess up my job trying to hook you up? boy stop! girl stop! i wouldn't do that even if i could. karma, remember?

i think i have to take out my nose ring and lip ring for volunteering at grady. i can tolerate taking out the nose ring, but taking out my lip ring is gonna be a problem. i've had this thing for six years, since 2003, but i'm pretty sure if i take it out again, it's gonna close up again. i took it out once for four hours and that shit would not let that ring go back through. i was so pissed. i had to get it repierced and it hurt like hell. and i had the piercing for like three years at the time. we'll see. we'll see how it goes.

i'm in desperate need of a new tattoo. and something really big. i want something really big on my right arm i think. i want my brother alan to design something for me. i'll get him to draw something for me when he comes down for my graduation and maybe i'll go ahead and get it in december. i might get something small while i'm in new orleans too. i want me and sam to get matching tattoos. i want us to get this:



we'll see what happens. i'll have to ask her if she's down. i wanna get mine on my ankle i think.

i really want some church's chicken right now. 3 piece spicy and a biscuit for $2.69 with a pepper pack. oh yeah! that sounds like a bet, but oh, wait, i can't. i have to eat jello and yogurt. my teeth still hurt. this is a good way to lose weight. i've been so hungry since thursday and all i can eat is noodles.

riche just got back from her "honeymoon" with her new boyfriend. i've always wanted to go out of town with a guy on a little vacation. me and torrey were gonna go on one, but then he started acting up, so, you know...it is what it is.

i started reading this sandra brown book today. i forgot what it's called. wait, no, this danielle steele book. i'm only on the first chapter. but this man and woman were married for 24 years and he finally tells her one night that for the past year, he's been cheating on her with a younger woman and that he was in love with the other woman and wanted to be with her. he didn't tell his wife this, but he had already asked to marry this other woman and they were going house hunting and everything already. he said that he didn't want her (his wife) anymore and that he didn't even want to try to work it out. he said the other woman made him happy and feel alive and he really really really wanted to be with her. i got so mad hearing this. his wife even begged him to leave his new chick and try to work things out. she was so in love with him, but he just dropped her and left. what a tool. i am not a fan of whores. i just remember getting so angry when i heard it and i actually felt what this woman was feeling. it was tough.

on a completely different note...i bought a bushel of cilantro a few days ago and i love it! i sometimes just eat the leaves for the hell of it. i've been putting them in my nog shim noodles.

ok, well i'm bout to go. i gotta make this money.

jenny "$7?! what are we in kindergarden?" jenn jenn

i took this medicine they gave me for my teeth for the first time yesterday and i woke up from a really weird, huge nightmare. it had to have been the narcotics they gave me.

i'll write about it later, i have to go to work now...and i still look like a chipmunk! my face is even more swollen than it was yesterday. damn!

jenny "so he was an African jew?" jenn jenn

my wisdom teeth are gone and i am in so much pain!

they gave me the nitrous oxide and i wasn't even laughing! it didn't work. i feel asleep quickly after the IV anesthesia. the whole thing took about 45 minutes. torrey took me. when i woke up after it was done, i was supposed to get into this wheelchair, but i couldn't, so torrey had to put me in it. they rolled me out to the car and torrey took me home. he was so sweet for doing that.

today, i felt like shit. i could really have used a boyfriend type thing today. somebody to hold my hand and stroke my hair and make me soup and let me lay my head in their lap all day to fall asleep in. ah-well.

this morning after the surgery, i was talking and my mouth was just full of blood and blood was dripping down my face and onto the coffee table. lol, it was so gross. it was terrible. but it's good now. it's still doing some spot bleeding and my jaws are so swollen. i look like a chipmunk. no, it's really not that bad.

ok, well i'm gonna go back to sleep. this medicine they gave me for the pain knocks me out. i don't know if i'll be going to work tomorrow night or what. ok, good night.

love,

jennifer a.

did i mention that i'm really feeling this whole twitter thing now? yeah, i've been twittering and twittering at people and responding to trending topics and doing it up.

so in case you don't know, it's

HERE!!!

jenny "so you guys on myspace, or..." jenn jenn

this is my 400th post!!!

on a sadder note...my brother got stabbed a couple nights ago. someone was trying to rob him at a walgreens near the base at jacksonville, nc. he was coming out of walgreens and got in his car when someone came and knocked on his car window asking for money. when he told the man he didn't have any money, the dude showed that he had a "gun" under his shirt and made my brother get out of the car. so josh got out and he said when he noticed that it wasn't a gun, he punched the dude a few times, and the dude stabbed him. he had a kitchen butcher knife the whole time. so he stabbed josh in the stomach and started to run. apparently josh got back in the car and tried to run the man down, but he didn't make it.

anyway, he spent the night in the hospital, but he's out now and he said he's fine. hopefully.

so tomorrow morning is the big day. i'm finally getting my teeth pulled. for real this time. four of them. yikes!

i had to call the paramedics on vickey on sunday night cause she drunk too much beer and something was going on with her breathing. she thought she was gonna have a heart attack. two days later, she was back to drinking again. she'll never learn...until it's too late.

i still have that same dime bag that i need to finish off. i didn't even smoke any of it yet. maybe labor day weekend if not this week.

i start at grady on monday. i'm gonna be doing it monday, wednesday, and friday mornings from 9 am to noon. i'm excited about it.

my tire went flat on my way to the mall yesterday. torrey came out and changed it for me. i know how to change a tire, but it's just hard for me to loosen up the bolts that hold the tire on, so i guess you can basically say that i can't change a tire (but it's purely for physical reasons only).

i did get that 97 hyundai sonata. it's pretty nice. it's really windowy. i'm gonna get the windows tinted in the next couple months. its way too windowy. but the car is pretty nice. it's dark blue. it even has rims! not hub caps, but some nice pacer rims. i want to get it eventually repainted to. i don't know what i want it to be yet, but i want something really...colorful.

i'm gonna donate the pontiac. i can write it off as a tax write off if i donate it. nobody is really gonna pay anything for it since the transmission is on its way out. i'm really gonna miss it too. it was my very first car. i bought it with my own money when i was 19, so i've had it for the past five years. it really feels like a sister to me.

but besides that, i start my volunteer thing on monday and we start classes on monday. i have classes, once again, from monday to friday and sam only has classes on tuesday and thursday. i told her she'll only be able to do that for her first year or two, but after that, it'll pretty much be monday through friday.

i graduate on december 14. it's a monday night, which is so waaaaaaack! but i gotta send mattie all the info so she can make my invitations. but i gotta go get my cap and gown so i can take pictures to put in my invitations. i think i'm gonna go ahead and take the GRE in the next few weeks and go for my masters starting this coming spring at Georgia State and then go to med school after I get that. I figure I'll be done with the masters thing in just one year. i'll be done in time to start med school (if that's what i decide to do) in the fall of 2011. if i don't do med school, having a master's will be good if i decide to apply to work at the CDC. those are my two big options of what i wanna do.

ok, how bout this shady, grimy, ugly ass nigga (vickey's ex darias aka my #1 enemy) came and knocked on my door asking to buy my car for $100. WHAT THE FUCK!!! i told him he done lost his mind. you know how much money i put into that car? i can get more than that from it just by taking it to a junk yard. you want me to basically give you my car and you know i can't stand yo ugly ass? get the fuck outta here! i told him "uh...no! i'm gonna donate the car so i can get some kind of money off of it." and he was pissed, but i don't give a fuck! who the fuck is he? he can kick rocks, that ain't got shit to do with me. that just really ticked me off that he thought i was gonna let him have my car like that. i asked vickey while he was standing right there "why did you let him come to my door and embarass himself like that?" that was so mean, lol, but oh well!

anyway...our new orleans trip is till on for halloween weekend. sam is so excited about it. we gotta go shopping for it soon. it's gonna be fun.

ok, well i gotta go take this medicine for my surgery tomorrow. but i'm gonna leave you all with this very funny video i found on you tube. it's called:

"Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips on How to Make Your Kids Less Attractive."


jenny "what? he's a guy! that's what guys look like." jenn jenn

i am so excited cause i tweeted something today to gavin degraw about how he's really pimping out his international t-shirt day thing waaay too hard...and he actually responded to me!!!

he asked if it was too much, and i told him it was all good and that i would represent for him at georgia state.

that's my boo right there, for life, i don't give a fuck what anybody says.

so i'm starting to love this twitter thang. it's pretty straight.

gavin tweeted a few days ago that he drinks more coffee than water and i was just like, that's me right there. i definitely need to drink my coffe to water drinking ratio.

but i'm so excited to see what his response to my latest tweet is. he's so awesome. ok, yes! i'm obsessed! so what? that just really made my day. i was having a really shitty, depressing day until i read that, so i'm good son.

on a side note, i've noticed that i am becoming so hood. like, i've been getting in touch with my black side and it's not so bad. i can't let it take over though...i don't want to be THAT kind of girl.

ok, i'm gonna go eat some chips and dip now. bye bye.

jenny "when am i ever gonna need to make tiramisu?" jenn jenn

it's 4 in the morning, i can't sleep, and i could definitely use a nice, slow, deep back rub right now. mmmm.

jenny "i've never been with an older guy before" jenn jenn

so sam works at caribou coffe (boo!). that's so wack. everybody knows starbucks is the one that holds a special place in my heart.

anyway, this chick tries to win me over by bringing me all this caribou coffee stuff. she brings me cookies, brownies, all kinds of pastries, blended drinks, all that stuff. but the chick has yet to let me holla at that coffee. i don't get all that fancy stuff at starbucks, i just like the coffee. now, i need to sample this caribou coffee to see what's really up.

jenny "don't you have any non-infant clothes?" jenn jenn

and here this fool goes again...posted up in front of the sports profile at five points, doing his thang. what a mess.



jenny "you mean like a man dick?" jenn jenn

yeah, i think it's a wrap on me and torrey. i just really have not been feeling him lately...at all. he...i don't even know what to say about the dude. i think the last time i'm ever gonna talk to him is next week after he takes me to my dentist appointment (it had to get rescheduled). i'm not feeling it.

jenny "take off that vest...you look like aladdin" jenn jenn

and then once again, my boo. dancing in downtown atlanta, making a damn fool of himself one more time.



jenny "she perioded on my leg?" jenn jenn

so my oral surgery got pushed back from today to tomorrow.

then me and sam are taking a little one day long road trip from atlanta to charlotte and back all in the same day. i gotta go pick up the car my dad bought for me.

i'm supposed to be starting at grady soon in the infectious diseases department. i have to interact with HIV/AIDS patients and tell them all about the disease, how it works, what to expect, what kind of medicines to take, give supportive care...all that. i'm excited about that too. i should be starting next week cause this week is all full for me.

i just ordered my new sprint phone today. it's a rant. it's supposed to be good for texting, which i do all day long every day. and it has a really good camera and i can supposedly watch youtube videos and listen to music on it. i was gonna get the rumor 2, but i think i need to try something new. more people had more good things to say about the rant anyway.

ok, well i gotta finish getting ready for work. peace out.

jenny "break yo self fool. aaaaaaahhhhhhhh! tight." jenn jenn

and y'all know i couldn't leave y'all without putting up another video of my boo dancin up on here. this man is a trip. i see him all the time at the underground just a dancin and i saw some kids filming him one day, so i checked youtube and found like 20 videos of this fool dancing around the underground.

so here's another one:



jenny "you dance hot!" jenn jenn

oh, what i wanted to talk about...this stalking thing.

ok, so i thought i had this whole stalker situation in check, but apparently not. now its just getting bizarre. just really weird. everytime i think about it, i think about this song. the words are so scary, but they try to put it to a nice, melodic beat so you won't notice.



and in case you didn't hear the words:

Whatcha� doin� tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Who's stealin' your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm scream out
Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...

[Repeat Chorus]

If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...
If I was invisible...


CREEPY!!!

jenny "evan, that's psycho shit" jenn jenn

so once again, me and torrey have fallen out.

ok, so my car broke down on me and it's not working right now. i need to get my transmission fixed/replaced ($$$yikes$$$). so with him being my boyfriend, i asked him to take me to work and pick me up. he seemed cool about it the first day he dropped me off, but after that...he had been being such a dick! i'm talking about fucked up stank ass attitude, being all quiet when he dropped me off or picked me up. picking me up late and dropping me off late.

he was late one day and i got mad and told him what was up and this dude had the nerve to tell me that he was doing me a favor and that i wasn't allowed to be mad at him for dropping me off late. WHAT AN ASSHOLE! when i say i wanted to hop up and punch this dude square in his face...but i held my tongue cause i needed a ride. but i swear to god, i wanted to sock this dude right in his stupid face.

i told him...after he took me home that night, i wouldn't ask his stank ass for nothing else and that was it. i really have nothing to say to the dude. what an ass, that's all i can say. i haven't talked to him since. that was a couple days ago. he's been pissing me off. i need to stop fuckin with him for good though.

my dad's supposed to be buying me a newer car this week. it's a 97 something. i forgot what he said. but i hope he gets it cause ya girl is hurtin for a car right about now. my baby pooped out on me. i'm not gonna lie, i'm gonna be so sad when i have to let it go for good. i'm gonna try to sell it somewhere/someplace/somehow.

anyways, i've been up for over 30 hours...so i'm going to sleep now.

peace.

jenny "oh my god, it's in!" jenn jenn

Oh sweet sleep! Please come take my body for the next 12 to 13 hours.

i see this crackhead all the time just a dancin at five points. i smile and laugh every time i see this dude. he has two signature moves that i always watch for. the one where he does the backwards waggle thing and the one where he puts his finger up in the air and rotates his hips. everytime i see him, i gotta see him do those two moves before i can move on.

he is too funny.



jenny "i've got a goddamn veteranary exam. this is bullshit" jenn jenn

i bought my first bag of weed the other day. i bought a dime bag. it was so weird. i usually let other people buy and i share it with them. but this time, i actually bought and paid for it. so this thursday when i'm done with summer classes, i'm gonna have some fun.

my surgery is one week from today. four teeth. damn. that's gonna hurt. i might have to call out from work. we'll see. i'm gonna tell the dentist to drill holes through the teeth so i can make a necklace. lol, that's so stupid.

i gave an oral presentation today and for the very first time, i wasn't even all that nervous. i knew exactly what i was talking about and i made eye contact with the audience and i even made them laugh. so i'm getting better and better.

the whole stalking situation i was experiencing...it's died down. i think this dude is coming to his senses.

i talked to my dad today and he told me that he got all of his teeth removed. oh my god! he said he was having really bad oral problems and had to get all of his teeth removed. he's only 53! geeze louise! so he has a set of dentures right now, but in three months after his gums have healed, he's gonna get 28 teeth implanted into his gums. that's $1,000 per tooth. hey, i'd spend that much too to avoid having to wear dentures. i just can't believe it. he got 22 teeth removed. that's gross. i hope i can see his mouth before he gets the implants. i'd probably cry if i saw that. that's sad.

i must have gotten my teeth from my mom. my mom doesn't have teeth that looks like mine, but my brother tj and my sister katrina have teeth like mine...big. we must have gotten them from a grandparent or something.

i was excited about these braces i'm supposed to be getting, but now i'm not really looking forward to them. they're expensive, they require a lot of upkeep, i can't eat candy...it's gonna suck. there'll be a lot of things i won't be able to eat ;). whatevs...its all good cause i haven't been eating much lately anyways. i'm trying to lose 8 pounds by halloween.

so there's this asian dude that's tryin to holla at me now. i've never had an asian dude trying to get at me before. well, scratch that. this will be the second asian dude, but the first asian dude trying hardcore to get at me. the first guy was just kinda being laid back about it. but this new dude is waiting on me to lose my man. he told me that when i'm looking forward to moving on, i should come holla at him.

it's cool cause now, i can have whatever guy i want. i remember when there was a time where i couldn't get anybody that i wanted. i liked this one guy, alex, from 7th grade to 10th grade, but ya boy was just not feeling me at all. he was mexican, but he had green eyes or blue eyes or something. but he showed ya girl no love. he would get with me today, i'm sure. but then, i have to admit, i wasn't hittin on nothin. i couldn't blame him. then this other guy i liked in middle school, uriah. he's an albino. i found him on myspace and facebook last year and i had asked him if he remembered me cause i had a hardcore crush on him. i told him that he wasn't feeling me at all though. he said, "i don't know why i wasn't feeling you cause you're a gorgeous girl." so that was sweet, but i did let him know that i was a beast then. i'm just glad that i'm through with that phase in my life.

so apparently i have good ninja skills. i'm supposedly pretty good at black jack too. i'll leave it at that.

one of my life's goals is to go to an open mic thing and to do some freestylin. i've been thinking about that a lot lately. i would never have the guts to do it, but one day, i will do it.

so i'm still prett set on this bangs thing. i really want some bangs, but torrey is just not feeling it. like really not feeling it. im like wtf? what's the big deal? i'm definitely not gonna get it just cause he doesn't like it. maybe he had a bad experience with a girl who had bangs.

anyways....gonna get ready to go to work. i'll holla.

jenny "he's fast...he's the fastest kid alive" jenn jenn

so myspace has this new feature where it tells you how many times each particular picture that you have posted has been viewed.

and for some reason...i can only guess as to why...but this one particular picture has WAAAAAAAAY MORE views than any other picture that i have. it has at least three times as many views as any other pic.

i'm gonna blame it on horny guys that may be looking at it at 3 in the am.



jenny "oh shit! the cops!" jenn jenn

man..."i feel like a dick."

i've seen "say anything" like six times in six days. i never realized that it was such a great movie.

jenny "and one little bottle of spermicidal lube" jenn jenn

well fuck me!

so i'm 24...going on 25...and my first wisdom tooth is just now trying to come in. these things are supposed to pop out when you're 17 or so. everything happens late for me. i started school late. i haven't had sex yet. maybe i'll hit a growth spurt later and end up being 5'10. that would be nice.

but yeah, i was looking in my mouth today and i see a new tooth trying to peek through my gums in the back of my mouth. its so weird. but that's a non-issue cause in about two weeks, that tooth will be gone. my insurance finally approved my teeth removal. so i'm getting all four of my wisdom teeth taken out. they're gonna have to cut through my gums to get to them, but they're coming out. they wanted to take out a fifth tooth, but i was like "does that tooth really need to come out? can't i just get braces to pull it back in line?". so that's what they're gonna do. after i get these four wisdom teeth pulled, i'll get my teeth cleaned and then maybe a few months later...braces. that'll be weird, but we'll see how it goes. just when i thought my smile couldn't get any more perfect ;)

so i'm gonna have this major mouth surgery in two weeks. torrey is taking me. they want someone to drive me there and drive me home. i have to be on some serious meds like a week and a half before the surgery and then probably afterwards too. when i get there, there's gonna give me two different types of anesthesia. one of which is nitroux oxide, which i am so exicted about. i cannot wait to get some of that N2O. i'm gonna be laughing my ass off at nothing before i fall asleep.

but i'm glad i'm getting this done now so i can have it done before i take my new orleans trip. hey, what if i get down there and then want to eat some meat ;). that's why i'm gonna wait a few months on the braces. i don't want to be trying to look all hot and then smile and have a mouth full of metal. i bet when i get my braces, i'll look even younger than i do now. i can see it now. i'm gonna get mistaken for 12 and 13. i just know it.

oh shit! i just realized that torrey is gonna HATE when i get braces. cause that'll mean no more...woooooow. lol. that is too funny. i guess i'll be single for a few months (or however long i have to wear braces for). wow, i never even thought of that. dah well.

well i'm gonna go get about three hours of sleep and then i won't get to sleep again until thursday night. i have a calculus test to study for and that means no sleep until the test is done...which is thursday night. that'll be another 36 hour day/night for me. ah shit.

ok, well i'm gonna peace on out of here.

later bitches.

jenny "ow! what the shit was that!" jenn jenn

guys love my pie. hey, girls love to eat my pie too.

and now for a really banging song. the video sucks, but the song rocks.



jenny "hey! back the fuck off before i beat the shit out of you!" jenn jenn

i saw this one commercial where the bk king put some shaving cream onto this girls hand, tickled her nose, and made her hit herself in the face with the shaving cream. it made me laugh cause i remembered this one episode that happened back in 03.

we were here in atlanta for our national hosa championships. so akia was here and i was sharing a room with her and raven and fallon. i think we even shared a bed cause i think raven and fallon shared a bed (they're sisters). i can't remember, but that had to be the way that it went.

anyway, it was late at night and me and fallon and raven didn't want to go to sleep yet, but akia was knocked the fuck out. she can lay down and be asleep in a matter of seconds. she laid down and litterally five seconds later, you could hear her snoring sooo loud. so i tell fallon and raven to give me their makeup. i got some ketchup packets and filled her hands with ketchup. i drew makeup all over her face. i gave her a ketchup mustache. it was hi-larious. i could not stop laughing.

then the bitch woke up in the middle of my artwork-ing. and ya girl was pissed! i ran my little ass into the bathroom and locked the door cause i litterally thought that girl was gonna beat my ass. lol, it's funny now. i stayed in the bathroom for like two hours, i was soo scared. i mean, the girl is over 300 lbs i'm guessing...that's more than three of me. it was too funny though.

like two hours later, raven came and knocked on the door and told me that akia had finally went to sleep and that i could come out and go to bed now. so i did. i went to lay down and fell asleep. i wake up like thirty minutes later and akia is trying to do something to me. i think she was trying to put mayonnaise or relish on my face or something like that. so everybody woke up and we just laughed for the longest time.

those were the days. now i can't stand the bitch. we were pretty good friends back in the day. i remember i was in a room with like five or six people and they were talking so much shit about this girl. i remember just being so mad and so angry that they were talking about her so bad.

i thought we were really good friends, but then she tries to hook up my boyfriend at the time with this ugly bitch. it was just like, what did i ever do to her? not a damn thing. she's wack. i shouldn't be mad at her...i should only be mad at the guy for taking the bait. but i can be mad at her cause we were supposed to be friends. she was just a hater though. she probably was just mad that she wasn't me.

she actually had the nerve to message me on myspace or facebook or something a couple years back trying to talk to me and request my friendship. i told her...weren't you the chick that was trying to hook my boyfriend up with some other girl when you knew we were going out? she never responded to me and never said anything else to me since. that's so funny.

i think her having something against me had something to do with me running against her in high school for treasurer of the national technical vocational honor society. i beat her and i think she secretly started hating me after that. hey, i wanted some kind of office? i was gonna run for secretary, but i knew leniqua was running for that too and she had a whole lot more friends than me. i knew i could beat akia, so i chose to run for treasurer. lol. that's so mean.

but i'm sure akia and crystal (the girl she tried to hook my ex up with) are happy we aren't together anymore. good. either one of them can have him. i don't give a fuck. i fought for him for a long time and i look back now and just ask myself why. it wasn't even that serious.

i remember how my ex used to call me "sunshine" and i thought that was his own little special name for me. so i saw a text that he wrote to this girl once saying "i miss you sunshine". wtf? what a tool. and i found pics of him and this girl in his phone. pics and video. all the time! not just once or twice. i was the dummy though, for sticking around.

i'm the kind of bitch that'll hold a grudge. so?

so for torrey to think that i'm the kind of girl to cheat and do that kind of thing when i'm in a relationship with him...it's really a slap in the face. that's not my style. if i wanna fuck around with somebody else, i won't lead you on. i can't even imagine how i'd handle trying to hook up with multiple guys. it's too much. one is enough for me. so i have no idea where torrey gets this idea that i'm some kind of whore or something. having gone through what i've gone through, i wouldn't dare think about doing that to somebody else. i mean, i know i talk a lot of shit, but it's just talk. i would never do something like that. it's just really not my style.

so i remembered all this stuff just because of a burger king commercial. lol. dang. i'm going to bed now.

peace out.

jenny "it's you...McMuffin!" jenn jenn

Just had a nice hot cup of starbucks coffee. Now gonna take a long hot bubble bath and then take a nap.

this is a very awesome video. possibly the most awesome video that i have ever seen on the internet....ever.



jenny "the skin comes right off" jenn jenn

i'm still here!

i've been away for a little while, but i really need to update this thing huh? well i'm in the middle of doing a project for one of my classes right now, so i'll do a brief update now and a more definitive one later.

the one thing i wanna say now is:

HALLOWEEN WEEKEND '09 --> NEW ORLEANS BABY!

its official. i'll be going with riche, sam, riche's "boyfriend", another couple that riche knows and another girl. i am so excited.

i won't be booed up while i'm in new orleans so i can really have fun. torrey is cool and everything, but ya boy be blockin! that's so wack when your boyfriend blocks like that, right?

no, it's gonna be fun though.

oh, and the stalker comment i made earlier? ok, so i was trying to be nice to this person, i won't say who and i won't say what i did, but i need to be not so nice in the future because stalking is not cute. it really isn't.

what else...ok, well there's a couple of guys who put messages in my honesty box saying that they're digging what i'm throwing out there. you know, they said they think i'm really pretty and one said he sees me around campus all the time and wanted to get together one day soon. i just wish i knew who it was. i think it might be darnell f-ing around or it might be torrey f-ing around to see what i'll do. for some reason, torrey thinks that i'm that kind of girl. but whatevs. that ain't my problem. so, but yeah. torrey got all mad cause i got excited about these dudes leaving me messages in my honesty box. i mean, duh! i'm a girl, of course i'm gonna get excited when a dude tells me that i'm pretty and that he thinks we should meet cause he thinks we'd really hit it off. that to me is telling me that, "hey, i think you're really pretty. i would like to go out with you sometime. maybe have the possibility of you being my girlfriend. that means that i get to kiss you and hold your hand while we're walking down the street and we get to be around each other all the time." that's what i get from that and its really flattering when a guy feels that way, so of course i'm gonna eat it up. torrey is just gonna have to get over himself on that one.

so i keep talking about this sleeve that i'm gonna get. i really wanna get one soon. i'll probably end up starting it small and then gradually adding stuff onto it. i think i wanna get my right arm done and start it around the bicep area and eventually have my entire right arm tatted up. from writst to shoulder. that's gonna be hot (to me).

this thing that i've been saying and just wearing out now is: "i'm not trying to be rude or anything...but can you shut the fuck up?" i am killing that phrase.

my car is trying to die on me. awww.

this was supposed to be brief, but i know i have that presentation to work on and i'm trying to put it off. i ain't slick. i'm trying to trick myself, see?

sam registered for her classes for fall. she's gonna take five i think. i'm trying to coach her so she can get out in two years too. ("two years bitch, say somethin'!").

i got this little raise at work so i've been looking for a roommate. i've been living with vickey for almost two years now and i gotta say: i'm too grown for this shit. i need my own spot. well i only work part time, so i'll be getting a roommate this time around, so hopefully soon...

oh, and josh gets out of the marines at the end of this year (or so he says) and he says he gonna go to school in charlotte. he's gonna go to cpcc for a year or two then transfer to johnson and wales to do culinary arts or some crap like that. he says he's gonna get an apartment in the same complex that i used to live in when i lived down there. that's gonna be so funny, so weird. but i hope he does get his own place. that way if and when i ever come back to charlotte, i can stay at his place insteaf of my dad's. if i stay at my dads, that won't work out if i wanted to meet up with some people. been there, tried that. so, that'll be perfect.

i had this weird dream about mitch the other night. so mitch and i were talking a couple weeks back and he was telling me all this stuff. i won't get into it, but i think that's why i had a dream about him the other night. i dreamt that i was walking in the mall. i had on this short skirt and these heels right? so i'm walking out of a store and this little dude comes up and starts walking beside me. now i'm only 5'3, so this little dude comes up to me and only comes up to my waist-ish area and i look down and he puts his arm around my waist and starts walking with me. i look at this dude and it turns out its mitch! lol. i have no idea what that was supposed to mean, but it was so weird.

i was daydreaming about kissing mitch the other day. since torrey doesn't read my blog anymore, i can say that. i think one day its gonna happen. and when it does happen, i think that'll be the hottest kiss i will ever have in my entire life. cause, it's like years in the making you know? years of pent up sexual tension i guess. but yeah, i daydream about that kiss sometimes. it will most definitely one day happen; its now just a matter of when. i think the longer the wait the better it'll be.

and i was thinking about this sex thing. i actually found myself crying a couple weeks back about this whole virginity thing and about me not having sex still. but i got over it. i think that may have been my third crying episode over it. i mean, i get upset about it a lot, but i've only gotten to the point of tears maybe three times. but it is what it is. i'm over it (at the moment anyway). so i was thinking...there's at least two, maybe three guys from my past that i would like to try to have sex with after i start (we like to call it "bus' it wide open"). i'm not gonna say who they are. but two definitely, one maybe.

and sex with me and torrey. i think about it. a lot. actually, i'll say that 60% of the time when i think about it, i want to go ahead and have sex with him. but the other 40% of the time, i tell myself i'm not ready. so until i'm at 100% (cause there ain't no going back), i'm just gonna have to keep putting it off. i don't want to have any regrets.

one of my sexual fantasies...one of the top ones actually...is to have sex on a really squeaky bed. shhh! don't tell nobody.

so i bought this really cute dress at the mall really early last year. so its a size zero and when i bought it, it could fit and it was bad. now it's almost two years later and...dunh dunh dunh...i can put it on, but it will only zip halfway up now. that means...i need to lose a couple pounds. but fuck a couple pounds, i wanna go ahead and get down to 100. so i gotta lose about...8 pounds i'll say. that's very doable. i want to wear it at my graduation, so i better get started now. but if i start now, that means i'll have to lose only less than 2 lbs a month. that's less than 1 pound every two weeks. i'll need to lose half a pound every week. that's very doable. so i'm gonna get started now. but now i'm thinking, that dress may be too big if i go all the way down to 100. we'll see.

ok, what else?...i think that's it. i've procrastinated long enough, i gotta do this assignment.

ok, and, uh...thats it for now. i gotta go take a nap so i can do some work.

peace out!

jenny "can we get 13 road beers to go please" jenn jenn

Stalkers are so not cute.

I want to get a publix cake for my graduation that says, ''2 years, bitch. Say somethin!''

I could use some ihop right about now. Steak omelette with strawberry topped pancakes...oh yeah!

Looks like i'm getting my 4 wisdom teeth pulled and then getting braces at some point after that to straighten that 5th tooth. That'll be a sight.

I love my Snugee! Actually, its a 'Cudlee', the Maxway $5 knockoff. I love it just the same.

i'm taking this biology seminar class and they tell us what we can do after we graduate. they said for bio majors (and other science majors), we can get a certificate two months after we graduate to teach k-12. they basically told me that i can be a high school science teacher for starting in the fall of '10. next fall. geeze lo-uise! i can't even imagine that. i'm barely 5'3, i look like i'm in middle school, and i'm gonna have this huge as boys and girls calling me Miss Anderson. lol, damn. and having to grade papers and give exams and this and that. that's wild. it's definitely an option for me now though. if med school or grad school doesn't work out, maybe i'll be an elementary school teacher or a middle school science teacher. we'll see now that works out.

i don't know, i've been thinking about it a lot over the past week and its sounding more and more appealing. being a high school biology teacher. that's wassup. i could live with that. they said high school science teachers make pretty decent money too. we'll see though.

i just finished my immunology class this summer and i think i got an A+. i haven't checked my grade yet, but i'm pretty sure. and that's a much needed 4.3 added to my gpa. thank god...cause that C i got in orgo killed my gpa. well it didn't kill it, but it dropped it a little bit. now for the rest of the summer, i'm taking virology, medical microbiology, calculus, and a biology seminar. this should be a 4.0 summer semester if i can get into this calculus. it's hard man!

i have my final five classes in the fall. i'm gonna take applied microbiology, biochemistry, organic chemistry II lab, microbial pathogenesis, and microbial ecology and metabolism. it's mostly micro classes since that's my concentration. maybe i'll look into interning at the cdc and maybe work there after this undergrad if nothing else goes through. i'd actually rather work at the cdc than being a high school teacher. we'll see.

sams graduation was a couple weeks back. it was fun cause i saw some of my family that i hadn't seen in a while. i can't wait til my graduation this december. i'm inviting everybody and we're gonna have a great time. my brothers, my mamma, my aunts, some cousins. i'm gonna throw a huge party for myself.

but yeah, after sam graduated, we came back to atlanta that next day and had a party for her that saturday night. it was cool. it was all her family, not mine, so i wasn't really that into it. i drunk some nasty ass heineken. beer is so wack. it's sooo overrated. it just tastes so bad, why do people bother drinking it? it's a peer pressure type thing i guess. and i smoked some wack ass weed. i only felt buzzed for like half an hour...and i smoked like twice as much as i usually do. the good stuff has me going and laughing my ass off for hours, but not this shit. it must have been like 60% oregano or something. i've never smoked anything that wack/weak. it bet-not happen again, i know that.

anyway, i've got some calculus homework to do. peace out homies. while i'm gone...peep this very awesome pic i found online. it's so funny.



jenny "Miss Anderson" jenn jenn

Headed into work. Wish i didnt have to go cause its so beautiful outside. The sun is setting and it just looks gorgeous. Peace homies.

God! I don't want to be here anymore! It doesn't really feel like home anymore. I need to find a new home, a fresh start.

Im hating GA more & more every day.A change of scenery is way overdue.Its bout time to get the hell up outta here.Ive been here long enough.

Bout to start this 4 hour calculus class. I had to drop calc a few semesters back cause i got zeros on everything! Pray for me y'all.

i saw this picture and i just thought it was the bomb.

Just got to Charlotte. Body is ACHIN. Head is BANGIN. Could really use a full body rub-down. Anyways, graduation tonight, big party tomorrow night in ATL cya!

Just got back from the dentist and i may need to get 5 teeth pulled!!! Please pray for ya girl.

I have been craving my dads lasagna for the longest. And some garlic bread too...girl stop.

I just had a really disturbing dream about bugs and spiders and fish and dog food. Don't ask.

Damn, my foot is acting up again. I'm getting so tired of this. They need to go ahead and chop it off or something. It hurts sooo bad.

Its rainin and stormin outside and theres nothing i'd like more right now than slow, deep, sensuous kisses-just laying in a bed with a big warm body holding me.

and one more to represent my german side ;)



i'm gonna do a post completely in german one of these days.

jenny "ich bin McTyler" jenn jenn

...and the wackest video i've ever seen on youtube.




jenny "i'll be like the iron chef of pounding vag!" jenn jenn

this is the most awesome video i have ever seen on youtube.





jenny "what are you trying to be, an irish r and b singer" jenn jenn

I love spending money and buying things...but now i need an older man to help me with that.

by the way, i'm sending this from my rumor. I'm glad i learned how.

i've been single for just a couple of weeks and one of riche's friends is already trying to holla. i guess he saw me talking to her on her facebook wall back and forth and he saw what he liked ;) riche is having this drinking social at her place sometime this summer and i cannot wait. i need to kick back and have some drinks with some cool people.

but nah, that's not for me. actually, riche got me hooked up with daniel. daniel is the only dude to ever break up with me and ends things with me. usually, it's me who ends things. that's really actually intriguing to me. he has a girlfriend now. they have been going out for like the past five months. dang, he never tells me anything. but i'm proud of him. he's condo shopping in atlanta right now. he just graduated from georgia tech. he's gonna start working for this financial company in august. i'm really proud of him.

today, vickey reminded me that when i first got bac, to atlanta two years ago, all i wanted to eat was hot wings. i love hot wings. i'm gonna have hot wings, banana pudding, and buttercream cake at my wedding. those three are definites. anyways, i'm gonna take a shower.

ohh...that reminds me. i forgot to talk about this when it happened to me a couple months back. so i was taking a shower and i had this nicely lathered up bath towel and i was washing myself. i was working my way down to my...ehhm...you know. so i was washing myself and my finger slips from underneath the bath towel and i STAB myself! oh my god! yeah, my finger slips in and i cut myself. and my finger had a pretty long, sharp nail on it. so it didn't really hurt, so i thought i was all right...until a few seconds later when all this bright red blood starts flowing out of me. i started to really freak out. i thought that i had broken my hymen. i called up torrey and darnell (cause he's supposed to be really experienced) and told them about it. they didn't really offer any good advice about it. but later, i started to notice that it burned a little when i peed, which more than likely meant that i just scratched the inside of my vagina and didn't break my hymen. it was waaay too much blood to be from a broken hymen.

anyways, now that i bring it up, i better go get a pelvic exam now and a pap smear. you're supposed to get one when you turn 18 or when you become sexually active, whichever one comes first. but i haven't had sex yet, so i never really went to get one. i'm gonna try to remember to schedule one by next week. but i need to get one because when you cut yourself or break skin, you get an influx of new cells to the damaged area. well these new cells start diving to repair and replace the new skin/tissue that was damaged. well with cancer, the cells just keep dividing and dividing and don't know when to stop. they keep diving and can cause huge bundles of cancer cells (tumors) or can be small bundles of cancer cells that travel throughout the blood or circulatory system and spread throughout your body. so i need to go get tested for that.

anyways, that's TMI for one night. i'll holla bitches.

jenny "car 98 on it...you dumb fucking whore" jenn jenn

today has not been a good day for me. i got nothing done, i'm exhausted, i'm in a bad mood...

i've taken a vow of single-acy. i'm gonna stay single for at least tweleve months. that's gonna be so hard for me cause i'm so dependent on being in a relationship. i think the longest time i've spent in between guys was like two months. i need to show myself that i don't need to be with a guy to be me. and my problem is that i end up making the guy my best friend. so being my best friend and my boyfriend is messing me up i think. i need to keep my friends seperate and my boyfriend seperate.

i've had three very different boyfriends over a large period of time and i'm still not getting it right. i need to do something different. i'm gonna be leaning toward an older man next time. maybe somebody in his 30s. i think that's maybe what i need next. maybe i'll meet him when i get to med school.

i had to cut things off with torrey. it was getting bad. we were falling out way too often. i don't want to end up with him like me and lamar ended up. i actually want to be friends with this dude still at least (one day) and if i continued to let it happen, we could continue to fall out and things would just go from bad to worse. i don't want that because torrey is definitely someone i can see talking to for the rest of my life and being part of my life in some way.

it's just that...i'm the most laid back black girl that i know. hell, i'm the most laid back person that i know...period. i don't know why i keep having bad luck with the fellas. i'm doing something really wrong. or i'm just dating the wrong people.

i can't stand being single. torrey told me one time that i was needy. i guess i am. damn, i hate to see how i act when i actually start having sex with a dude and then get really needy. i know it, i'm gonna be all psycho then. lol, dang mustang. whatevers...it is what it is.

i was reading cosmo and it said the best way to get back at an ex was to get really really really really hot. lol, i liked that one. letting a virgin read cosmo is like giving a quadraplegic dancing shoes. it's just like...what's the point?

on a completely different note, i'm planning my spring break 2010 to roswell and albuquerque (damn thats hard to spell) new mexico. who's coming with me?

jenny "it was between that and mohammad" jenn jenn

i just want to be happy.

jenny "mclovin! why?!?!" jenn jenn

i have been twittering and it's so wack. what's the point?

anyways, i was texting back and forth with mitch the other day. mitch will either text me or send me messages on facebook every couple months or so. anyways, he told me he was in charlotte for a week (in between classes) and was wondering if i was there. no. so he said he was gonna make a special trip up to atlanta and wanted to hang out with me. i told him, if i'm still single, we could do that. he said something about spending some QT time. cooking something, watching a movie. that's cool. i'm laid back like that. that's my thing. it sounds ideal, but i always find myself in a relationship and just don't have time for him.

yeah, mitch is definitely the one that got away for me. i've always wanted to hook up with him, but the timing was never right for either of us. he was going out with this chick and i was going out with this dick in high school, so it was never a good time. who knows though, maybe one day. i had this picture of us at prom in our senior year. i didn't go with him, but i had this really cute picture of me standing with him and his arm around my waist. i wish i could find that. i'm gonna have to fish it out. it was actually better than any picture that i took with lamar that night.

the day of the gavin degraw concert, i took a nap and dreamt that i kissed darnell. i wonder where me and darnell would be now if that chick of his hadn't emailed me up trying to lay her claim to him. i don't know, i'm a pretty solid person...i think we may be still going out. not that we were going out. we were working on getting to know each other. we were starting to make plans to see each other and hang out, even though i was here and he was in SC. that would have been interesting to see how it all would have worked out.

i've been thinking about a lot of "what if"s lately. me and torrey broke up again. he's just such an asshole. he's whiny and he can be a real jerk. not cute.

so i've been thinking about what if i was with someone else.

ok, my head is banging right now, so i'm gonna go take a bubble bath, then go knock out.

peace homies.

jenny "that's vag-tastic!" jenn jenn

i'm on Twitter now!!

...and it is sooo wack. it's like, what's the point? but my boo gavin degraw is on there, so i signed up so i could follow him.

anyways, it's here.

peace out.

jenny "hey! you know a guy named jimmy? you totally look like his brother dude. you do." jenn jenn

today was an ok day. i did a lot for and about me today. i fixed up my hair and threw on some sandals and my bag and went to campus. when i talked to a dude about my financial aid a few days ago, that douche bag said i couldn't get any more financial aid for summer. then i talked to another dude today and wound up getting over $4000 in financial aid. so i might actually get a refund this summer. cool! it's amazing what a smile can do. my smile is my moneymaker man. gotta keep this up. i'm thinking about getting braces. i have a couple of teeth that need to be put in line with the rest.

anyway, then i went to the mall by myself and did some retail therapy. then i headed to walmart. i was gone for hours. tomorrow, i'll be going through a tour of the cdc with a few people from my micro class. i'm kinda excited about it. but it's like a two hour tour. how can a tour of the cdc possibly be two hours? anyways, i'm gonna work it out.

i've been working on my freestyling skills. i'd like to think that i'm getting better and better every day. when i first started, it was really elementary. but now it's getting...a higher level of elementary, lol. it's getting better though, that's the important thing. i'm gonna be a rap superstar real soon. wayne is gonna be hitting me up for some tips. naw, let me stop. but i'm working at it.

ok. i've been out and about all day. gotta go to bed now. peace out homies.

jenny "hey! you know a guy named jimmy? you totally look like his brother man...you totally do" jenn jenn

so i checked my email today and guess what?....

once again, for the second year in a row, i won meet and greet passes to next week's gavin degraw concert!

i am so excited...that's my boo.

this will be my third time meeting him and talking with him and my fourth concert of his in the past year.

so now i gotta straighten my hair, throw together an outfit, get my nails done, all that. charge up my camera batteries cause there will be plenty of photos and video, ok!

going over to torrey's now.

peace.

jenny "i am mclovin" jenn jenn

so my b-day has passed and gone. it was fun while it lasted. i had fun. we went to a comedy club. there was three comedians. for the most part, they were wack, except for the last dude. i forgot his name though. and then the host was tyler craig. he's that dude from comicview that always seems like he's drunk when he's on stage and he has those long dreds.



and after that, i went over to torrey's and chilled with him for the rest of the night. i had half a drink and i was sitting up there and just sipping on it for two hours. i was fine until i stood up. i was soo woozy from that half a drink. i'm usually not such a light weight. it takes a lot for me to get tipsy, but i guess i didn't have any food on my stomach, so...anyway. torrey had to pick me up. i usually drive over to his place, but he had to come get me. the moral of the story is: eat something when you drink alcohol.

i cannot wait for this semester to be over. one more week. finals are next week and then i have a week off before summer semester starts. then mcats are on august 15 for me. i was gonna make a trip to charlotte, but i don't think i'll have the time. i don't even know if i can go to sam's graduation in june. not enough time man.

i know, though, that at the end of this semester, which is at the end of next week, ya girl is gonna get fuuuucked up! josh was telling me how he had some bacardi 151 and that's straight alcohol. he said he just had two shots and got fucked up. and he drunk it straight up. you're supposed to mix that with some kind of juice or something, but he drunk it straight up. so i'm gonna have to get a bottle of that. and then i'm gonna get some of that dooby dooby doo. gonna smoke a nice joint. i smoked a joint once with xxxxxx and after i went to bed that night, i woke up and felt soooo thirsty. i went to the fridge and drunk two whole cans of soda. i hadn't been that thirsty in my life. the next day, i told xxxxxx that i had woken up in the middle of the night and drank two whole cans of soda and xxxxxx told me: "me too! i woke up and was soo thirsty, i drank these two two cans of soda that was by my bed." so apparently, it had something to do with the weed. anyway, come the end of next week, i get to cut loose. me and torrey are talking about getting a room. (just to chill in though, don't get it twisted). we're thinking about getting one for a couple of days and just wholing up in it and just relaxin. i want to go to one that has a pool and a jacuzzi though. but the thing with jacuzzis is, they usually have a ton of different bacteria. there are soo many different kinds of bacteria that live in jacuzzi water, it really is gross. you can catch so many different things from them, no matter how much chlorine they put in it. if i ever get into a jacuzzi, it'll be my own personal jacuzzi. you can get all kinds of skin diseases and rashes from jacuzzi water.

ever since i started studying all this biology, you see life in a different way. science is soo interesting. things that you never thought of before, you start looking at differently.

anyways, i gotta do something to this room. i'll holla.

jenny "we should be guiding his cock, not blocking it" jenn jenn

tomorrow is my b-day. i'm excited. i'll be 24. but when my birthday hits at midnight tonight, i'll be at work. how wack. i don't want to be at work, but it is what it is. but tomorrow when i get out of class, later that night vickey is gonna take me (and torrey) to some comedy club. it's gonna be fun.

i have been getting zero sleep lately. this is the toughest semester ever. i cannot wait until next week. it'll be sooo chillaxed. these past two weeks, i had eight papers due, five final exams, one in course exam, a lab notebook due...it's too "mauch". lol, i gotta bring that one back. gotta resurrect it.

i haven't been getting any sleep and apparently any food. i've been losing a lot of weight lately. if i keep this up, i'll be in the mid 90s by the end of may. i've always wanted to see if i can get under 100 lbs and it looks like i might. i just haven't had the time to eat lately. i've been waay too tired to eat.

anyways, my cousin is trying to set up a family reunion in september. should be interesting. i'm excited about it cause i don't really now my family and plus, i need a trip to florida. i haven't seen my mom in years. i keep telling her that i'll be down there soon, but i'm just too busy. but once they pick a date, i'm gonna try to drive down with sam and josh. we'll see. i'm supposed to have family in atlanta already, but i have no idea who they are.

so me and torrey are back together. i mean, come on...i'm me! what idiot wouldn't want to stick around?

i watch superbad at least three times a week. i have a problem.

ok. well i'm gonna try to squeeze in two hours of sleep before i have to go in to work. peace out.

jenny "fuck it. they should be sucking on my ballsack" jenn jenn

so i was thinking...this picture looks really familiar to me. i mean, it's me, but i think i've seen it somewhere else before.





and then it finally hit me yesterday, i know exactly where i saw this picture before.





and i actually took 30 minutes from study for tomorrow's orgo test to do this. lol, how wack.

jenny "then i'll cut off your stupid fucking face, throw it over mine, then by the alcohol myself!" jenn jenn

and one more for the road.

this song was on my mind for like a week a few weeks ago, just forgot to post it.

and one more for the road.

this song was on my mind for like a week a few weeks ago, just forgot to post it.

and just cause i love stacie orrico and i love this video...

i'm feeling this song right now...




Girl, you know I love you
No matter what you do
And I hope you understand me
Every word I say is true
‘Cause I love you

Baby, I'm thinkin' of you
Tryin' to be more of a man for you
And I don't have much riches
But we gonna see it through
‘Cause I love you

Ho...ho...ho...

Some men need lots of women
For their passions to feel
But I want only you, girl
If it's in, if it's in, if it's in God's will
‘Cause I, ‘cause I love you

I, I love you, baby
With all my heart and soul
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Love you
I need you
I want you
I need you

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh your love makes me grow
stronger
It keeps goin' on, oh, baby
I'm glad I found you
I just love to be around you, oh, baby
You've been so good to me
Oh, baby
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Hmm, hmm
Hmm...hmm...mmm...
You know
One time things got so bad until
I had to go to one of my friends and talk to him
And I told him, I said, “You know
I'm having problems with the woman that I love
It seems that I call her on the phone and I just can't get her to
answer
And then I went to her house and I saw a car parked in the
driveway
I knocked on the door, but still my knocks went unanswered
And then I went home and I-I watched television until
television went off
And then I played my records until I just didn't want to hear
them anymore
And finally I went to bed, but I found myself waking up a few
hours later
And the tears were running down my face”
And my friend told me, he said, “Lenny,
You just oughta forget about her”
But I told my friend, I said, “You know
Maybe you've never been in love like I've been in love
And maybe you've never felt the things that I've felt”
But this is what I told my friend
I said, “You know, sometimes you get lonely
You get lonely, you get lonely”
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
And I cry, I cry
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
And the tears would fill up in the wells
In the wells of my eyes, baby
And then it got so bad, it got so bad
Till one time I thought I'd roll myself up in a big ol' ball and die
And then I met you, darlin'
And you smiled at me
Oh, oh, it was such a pretty smile, yes, it was
And you reached out your hand
You helped me (Helped), you helped me (Helped me), you
helped, oh
I'm glad, baby, I'm glad, baby
Oh, oh, oh, baby, ey, ey, ey
I won't ever leave you, baby
I won't ever grieve you, baby
I'm gonna love you, oh, oh, oh, baby
I'm glad, I'm glad, baby
Oh, oh, yeah, baby, oh, oh, oh
I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you, oh
I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I love you, I love you
I love you

"Are You Obsessed"

i gotta see it. looks really good. it comes out the weekend of my birthday, but i have to work :( i'm gonna have to wait some other time to see it. i have not been to the movies in a long time. i work four nights a week now and i have eight classes. i just don't have the time. sleep is so precious. you don't know what you have until its gone.

but yeah, i gotta see this movie. i don't get how girls go psycho over a guy where they want to hurt the guy or even the girl that the guy is with. it's like...it's not that serious. pack up and move on. i can't see myself fighting for a dude like that. too many other dudes out there.

so i applied for this internship for the summer. it's a "chemist intern" at some biotech company and i was one of like fifteen people chosen as a finalist for it. i hope i get it. i need some lab experience that's outside of school. plus it sounds like fun. working in a real lab for twenty hours a week. and it's a paid internship. pray for me.

the semester is almost over. i think we have like three more weeks or so. i cannot wait. after the semester is over, i have one week before maymester class begins. then one week after that before the regular summer session classes begin. during those weeks, i am gonna get so much sleep. i may go to charlotte during one of them...maybe both...but i do want to go see my mom soon. she's been asking about me.

i'm graduating in december and my mom is gonna come. i'm most excited about her coming. then my brothers israel, alan, josh, and landon will be there. tj, cj, mikey and katrina won't be there. i wanted all my brothers and sisters to show up, but that's not gonna happen. cj will probably be in afghanistan and tj, katrina, and mikey will be at home. sam is coming. my dad and mattie will be there. my cousin mane and maybe my aunt patricia will be there. vickey and james and landon are gonna be there. alan is coming from korea just to come, so that's cool. after i graduate, i'm gonna plan for us to go to this japanese restaurant in atlanta that i've been wanting to go to, or we'll go have drinks somewhere. i'm excited. i've worked so hard and its finally paying off.

i still haven't signed up to take my mcat. i want to take the one on august 6th. i just need to brush up on my physics. my physics suck.

i'm talking about a little of this and a little of that in this blog. i'm so bored right now. i have a five page paper to write tonight and an orgo quiz to be studying for right now, but i'm putting them off and trying to find everything else to do but them.

so me and torrey fell out again. he told me that if we couldn't be in some sort of sexual relationship, then we should just be friends. and hey, that's fine. i'm not one to buckle for a dude. i'm not gonna compromise what i do and do not feel like doing just for a dude. this is not the first time this has happened to me, and it won't be the last. i'm just gonna let them fall off my shoulder and keep it moving. i didn't want to talk about it, but what the hell. i haven't talked to him in almost a week. what do you say after someone tells you something like that? anyways, it is what it is.

i heard this kelly pickler song and it stuck. i hated the song, but loved the lyrics:

"Best Days Of Your Life":
'Cos I'll be there, in the back of your mind
From the day we met 'til you were making me cry
And it's just too bad, you're already had the best days
The best days of your life

Ain't it a shame?
A shame that everytime you hear my name
Brought up in a casual conversation
You can't think straight

And ain't it sad?
You can forget about what we had
Take a look at her and do you like what you see?
Or do you wish it was me

CHORUS:
'Cos I'll be there, in the back of your mind
From the day we met to the very last night
And it's just too bad, you've alreasdy had the best days
The best days of you life

And does she know?
Know about the times you used to hold me
Wrapped me in your arms and how you told me
I'm the only one

I heard about
Yeah, someone told me once, when you were out
She went a little crazy ran her mouth about me
Ain't jealousy funny?

CHORUS

...with me was a fairytale love
I was head-over-heals 'til you threw away "us"
And it's just too bad you've, already had the best days
The best days of your life

I heard you're gonna gt married
Have a nice little family
Live out my dreams with someon new

But, I've been told that a cheater
Is always a cheater
I've got my pride, and she's got you...

'Cos I'll be there, in the back of your mind
From the day we met 'til you were making me cry
And it's just too bad, you've already had the best days
The best days of your life...

Of your life
Oh, oh, yeah
You're gonna think of me
You're gonna think of me in your life
Oh, oh, yeah
It's a shame, it's a shame...

those lyrics are deep.

i bought some guitar strings today and some guitar picks. one of my strings to my guitar broke. i gotta fix it. i wish i had some time to learn to play it. i'm working on it though. and my drums! i gotta get on that too. i know this dude who has been playing for like nine or ten years. he said he'd help me anytime i'd ask, so i need to hit him up...when i have time! time is my biggest enemy. i want to get started on the drums first, then i'll pick up the guitar.

josh is finally starting to pay me back my money. the first thing i'm gonna buy: a pole...a stripper pole. my room has way too much stuff in it, so i'm gonna put it right in the middle of the living room. it's gonna be so great. i can't wait to get pics of that. you can buy a portable pole for like $80 or $90 and they hold up to like 300 lbs. you snap it right into place and that's it. it's so cool. when sam gets here, i'm gonna get her to take this pole dancing class with me that they have downtown. nobody i know wants to pay the money for the class, so i'll just pay for me and sam to take it.

my phone charger broke, so after today, i'll be SOL on the celly for about a week. or whenever i have time to go get a new charger. the only three people who i ever really call or text are torrey, sam, and vickey...and in that order. now josh is slowly creeping his way up to number three.

did i mention that i don't like ultimatums? betta recognize.

i want to get another tattoo on my arm. i want it to cover my entire right upper arm. i don't know what i want it to be yet...maybe i'll get alan to design something for me. i want it to be colorful too. yeah, i think that's definately gonna be something i'm gonna be looking into getting before this year is out. i want it from my shoulder to my elbow. i'm thinking its gonna be a mirage of something. i want a taurus symbol...the bull...behind my left ear. maybe i'll get a DNA symbol on my inner right hip, or the medical staff (that stick with the two snakes symbolizing medicine). if i go to med school, i'll get the staff. if i stick with biology and do microbiology, i'll get the DNA. we'll see. i can point out to people: "here's the A-T hydrogen bonds; here's the G-C hydrogen bonds; here are the nitrogenos bases and the linking riboses and deoxyriboses and the pyridines and purines. here's where they attach, lose a water via condensation of the phosphate group,..." lol. i can imagine sitting there telling someone all about it.

i like to kiss. i like really slow kisses. i like soft, slow kisses. not too much tongue, but just enough. i like deep kisses too, but i think i'm starting to prefer the softer, slower ones. i like holding hands and just lying in bed and doing nothing. that's the beauty of virginity. it's really laid back.

so fuck you!

jenny "you don't want girls thinking you suck dick at fucking pussy" jenn jenn

i was listening to this cd in my car on my way home for work and this song is just sick. the video is even better. they're supposed to be coming to atlanta in august, so i may have to holla at that. sam will be here, so i'll drag her with me. i'm so glad she's coming here, now i can stop brining torrey to concerts with me. he be c-blockin'!

but for this song, the official music video is amazing, but then i had to post the live version cause brandon looks cute with his stache. torrey, take notes on that stache bruh.

so torrey is really mad at me right now. and its so stupid. ok, so here's what happened:

during my spring break, i bought him this poo log cause he's always telling me: "jenny, i took a huge dump today. i'm so regular." so i bought him this poo log from spencers where he can sketch his poo and rate it and describe it and all this. i thought it was cute.

so today, i was thinking, whenever i start having sex, i'm gonna keep a sex log. i'm gonna write down the person's full name, date, time, duration of coitus, and i'm gonna rate the performance. so i was telling torrey that i was gonna do this and he was like, 'well you're only gonna have sex with one person'...or something like that and i was like 'ex-squeeze me. i may be a virgin and i may be a little apprehensive about sex right now, but i do know that when i finally do start having sex, i don't want to have sex with just one person in my life. i don't want to be a whore either, but i don't want to be with just one person. i'm not gonna put a number on it, but less than a handfull, ok?

so anyway, he was like "well what are you gonna do when you get married cause i know you want to get married soon" and really, i guess i'll cross that bridge when i get to it. and to set the record straight. i don't want to get married right now just because. i want to be with the right guy. i do want to start a family, but i need to be with the right person and at the right time.

so now he's all upset with me and saying how he's wasting his time if i feel that way and i'm like "woah! who said i was even gonna sleep with you? you need to get over yourself right now." i don't know, i think he's a little too optimistic about us having sex. he must have forgot that i was with a tool for over five years and didn't sleep with him. and yeah, i realize that it's different with me and torrey, but still. but i think that torrey expects me to sleep with him and then not sleep with anyone else ever after him. i'm sorry, but that is totally unrealistic. i mean, he's had sex before, so it's kinda hypocritical.

he's trippin. he won't answer my calls or texts now, but it's all good. i'll let him trip and then get over it...or do whatever he needs to do to relieve himself. he's starting to get on my nerves now.

having said that...let me write about what i wanted to write about before all this crap happened.

there's this gay dude at work that i kinda have a crush on. but it's ok cause he's gay. but anyway, he's black and tall and he's super gay. but when i first started working there, i used to imagine sneaking out to the parking lot with him and making out with him. torrey isn't gonna be happy about that, but this is my blog. this is supposed to be about me and my thoughts and my feelings. i kinda wish i didn't tell him about this blog, cause there's so much more that i would have written in this thing. i'm thinking about starting up a second one just for myself. i won't tell anybody what the address is.

but anyway, i used to have a crush on him. not anymore, but used to. he said something to me about these pies that i made for work and i kinda got nervous when he was talking to me. it's so stupid.

oh, about these pies. so i made these cream cheese pies one time for a pot luck that we had at work and ever since then, whenever we have a little get together, they want me to bring those pies. well this past weekend, we had a little st. patrick's day get-together and i made these pies and put green dye in them and they were soooo good. there's this one chick at work that always tries to steal one (a whole pie!) but i always cut that short. i'm talking about nothingness right now.

i'm gonna go study something. i have two presentations to give next week and one exam next monday, so i gotta go.

peace out snitches.

jenny "mommy's making a pubie salad and i need seth's own dressing" jenn jenn

another song that's stuck in my head.

i had an epiphany today...

the bulk of the guys that try to holla at me...since i moved back to atlanta...have been young guys. like between 17 and 20. either really young or really old, like over 50. i can't get a dude my age. today, a dude that said he was 18 (but looked 16) tried to holla. a dude that looked 18 tried to holla. and an old dude well over 50 tried to holla. and i didn't even do anything special today. just wore my hat, my georgia state sweatshirt.

nothing against torrey, but i'm getting tired of all these young dudes. i want an older mna. the next dude i go out with will be over 30. i sometimes have fantasies about being with a married man. i mean sexually. an older married man at that. that reminds me of the time i made out with my manager at value village. i was 19, he was 39. we had the same birthday. lol, wow. it was kind of slutty. i felt kinda bad about it at the time cause i was with someone, but looking back...i don't really mind. it was kinda weird, but still fun.

so yeah, these young dudes need to cut it out. this dude tried to get my number today. i said 'how old are you'? he looked like he was 16, but he said 'i'm 18, how old are you?'. i laughed and said, 'i'm 23 sweetie'. and he was like 'oh for real? so can i call you sometime?" like he didn't hear a word i just told him. i just laughed and told him, 'nah, i don't think so.'

i seriously need to know what to do about this. it's so annoying. i just bought all this mary kay makeup from riche. she sells the stuff now. i'm gonna get her to show me how to wear it and maybe that'll stop this madness.

ok, tata for now.

oh yeah, i don't think i mentioned this yet, but sam got into georgia state (no surprise!). she won't know until next month if she got into UGA yet. i'm sure she will. that's her first choice. she only applied to georgia state in case my dad didn't help her with tuition and room and board (like he did with me). so if she comes to atlanta, that'll be wild. me, sam, and torrey all in the same school. that's gonna be crazy. crazy fun. but she wants to go to uga for their pre-vet program. then after her undergrad, she wants to stay there for her vet school. so i hope she goes there cause i know that's where she really wants to go. but if she doesn't get the funds, i told her to just do a year or two at georgia state and get her pre-reqs out of the way. in the meantime, she needs to get a job, save up some money, and then transfer to uga. that way she'll be able to pay her own way (like i am).

but ok, i'm off to torrey's. i like to call him Salvatore now. he started his dreds. he's been talking about it forever. but now it's a done deal. it's funny, cause he's a microcephalic. i went to having a boyfriend with megacephaly to a boyfriend with microcephaly. j/k ;). it's a huge difference though, no pun intended. i'm gonna go before i say anything lamer than i've already said.

peace out snitches.

jenny "then i'll cut off your stupid face, throw it over mine, then buy the alcohol myself" jenn jenn

i've been looking into gerontology doctoral programs. i'm thinking about skipping med school and just going for my phd in gerontology; be a gerontologist. that's what i've wanted for a long time. i think i might be too lazy for med school. and they do make a lot of money.

there's only a hand full of schools that offer doctorate programs in gerontology. one is in southern california, one is in massachusettes (boston) and one is in maryland (baltimore). i'm leaning more towards that last one. maryland sounds good. and it only requires 69 credit hours to get the phd. they want you to spread it out over four years though. i can easily do that in less than two. they want you to take only like 9 to 11 credit hours per semester, but they must not know 'bout me. i like to take 18-20 credit hours a semester. i'm a gangsta like that. if they let me take as many as i want, i'll have phd behind my name in less than three years from now...if i get in. sweet!

ok, i have english homework; peace out bitches!

jenny "i'll be the iron chef of pounding vaj" jenn jenn

my new favorite song for the moment. they sound so much better when they do it live like this.

i'm back from my spring break. i didn't hang out with any dudes this time. i had fun. i got caught up on a lot of homework, but it was still relaxing. torrey specifically asked if i was gonna see mitch. it was funny when he asked me that cause he knows me. he didn't even ask if i was gonna see my ex. he's asking me about some other dude. but regardless, i didn't see any dude.

i hung out with sam most of the time. she got into georgia state. she's waiting to hear from uga in april. if she ends up not being able to pay for uga, her first choice, she's gonna go to georgia state then transfer after she saves up for uga. whatever she decides to do, i'm happy for her. she graduates in june, but i'm not even sure if i can go cause i'll be in summer school. i'm taking five classes this summer and five this fall and then i get to graduate! i'm a G, yes. if she goes to georgia state, vickey wants to get a bunk bed put in my room for us. i don't know. i cannot be a 24 year old living with my stepmom and sleeping in a bunk bed in the same room as my 18 year old sister. i realize it won't be for that long, but i don't know. i'm used to having my own place, my own space. i miss that.

when i was in charlotte, i went by my old apartment complex. someone was living in my old apartment. they had stuff all out on the balcony. i had some really really fond memories in charlotte. i went by my old job, which they shut down. it was weird seeing that. seeing all this old stuff, all my old hang out spots, i started thinking...how would my life be like if i had stayed in charlotte? i asked before lamar before i moved to atlanta if he thought i should go, and he told me, 'yeah.' he didn't even try to get me to stay. i could have just as very easily went to unc charlotte, but this douche bag could not care less if i went or stayed. i know had it been torrey and we were both living in charlotte, he would have fought for me to stay. instead, lamar was into having a sexual relationship with god knows who and wasn't putting OUR best interests to mind. but anyway, i won't go there. i know, i already did. but, i could have went to unc charlotte, gotten a job somewhere else, still been near sam and my dad. i know that had lamar fought for me to stay at least just a little bit, i would have stayed. i would never have come to atlanta, would never have met torrey, so i guess i'm grateful for it. i guess things really do work out for the best.

so as you can see, i did a lot of reminiscing when i was in charlotte. i'm glad i still had the sense not to call my ex, cause at a few points, i felt like i really wanted to, but i knew that it wasn't a good idea. i thought about him a lot though when i was in charlotte, but when i got home, it was like...'lamar who?'. it went like this...when i got there, i was really missing torrey. towards the middle of the week after i was hanging around charlotte, around where i used to always be, i started thinking of lamar and what we had. towards the end of the week when i realized i was going home, my attentions went back to torrey. but i'm glad to be back home with my boo. even though i went to all my old spots, they didn't feel like home to me anymore...atlanta did. i was so happy to be back in my room. it just feels like home to me. i've been gone from charlotte from almost two years now (it'll be two years in august) and it definitely has felt like two years. longer even. but i'm excited about the future and finishing up school. i'm excited about what's going to happen next.

i'm supposed to be taking my MCATS on august 6 and torrey is supposed to take his GRE on august 5. so we both have huge, life changing tests coming up in the next few months.

i'm gonna be 24 in about two months. i feel so different. i actually feel like a 24 year old. i was looking at some old high school pictures and i was just like...wow. it wasn't pretty. but i've grown. i was at rave in the mall the other day in charlotte and the cashier asked me and sam what grade we were in. sam was like, 'i'm a senior'. and i was like, 'yeah, i'm 24.' and she was so surprised. she was like, 'wow, well you look good then.' i cannot tell you how annoying that is right now, but when i actually get in my 30s, it's gonna be great. cause while all these girls now look their age, they're really gonna be looking their age in about ten years. i guess that whole, 'you're gonna look like your mother' thing is out the window for me. my mom looks older than her age, and i'm just the opposite.

anyway, enough about that. i'm talking about all kinds of stuff. i haven't blogged in about a month. i just had so many exams right before spring break. i had papers due and this and that. then i had spring break. now i'm home and back on my grind.

i'm gonna go study some orgo now, so i'll holla. i gotta head to work in a couple hours. they've given me more hours at work. i work on monday nights and tuesday nights too now from midnight to 3 am. that's an extra 6 hours a week. it's not a lot, but its enough. bank of america employees get awesome benefits and discounts too. i get a 23% discount on my spring bill every month which is tres' sweet. but anyway, i'm gonna go watch 'i love money 2' and study some orgo. peace out snitches.

jenny "fuck no man! i hate becca" jenn jenn

i cannot get this song out of my head.

The Commitment Dilemma



this just hit something in me. i could definitely relate when i heard it. don't give up something great for 'new pussy'. 'commitment' might give you a headache every once in a while, but 'new pussy' can't cook! 'new pussy' ain't gonna take care of you when you're sick! just be patient, and you'll get the 'old pussy', only it's not old at all, it's 'new pussy'. you gotta think about life in the long term.

you know, "pussy" is like the dirtiest word ever. i can't even say it out loud without giggling. it's so raunchy.

jenny "new pussy can't cook!" jenn jenn